How To Stop Judging Yourself

Summary

In this episode, Leo from Actualised.org discusses the detrimental effects of judgments on personal life, emphasizing how judgments about others often apply to oneself as well. He illustrates this with examples like judging overweight individuals, attractive women, or the wealthy, showing how these judgments can lead to self-sabotage and create problems in various aspects of life. Leo provides an exercise to identify personal judgments and suggests mindfulness to recognize and overcome their negative impacts, ultimately promoting self-improvement and personal development.

Takeaways

• 🔍 The script emphasizes the insidious nature of judgments, explaining how they can negatively impact one's life without the individual's awareness.
• 🌟 The core message is that judgments made about others are simultaneously self-judgments, which can lead to self-sabotage and create difficulties in the future.
• 🏋️‍♂️ An example given is how judging overweight individuals can lead to guilt and shame when one's own fitness or health falters, illustrating the boomerang effect of judgments.
• 👫 The transcript discusses how societal and familial judgments can be internalized and perpetuated, affecting personal relationships and self-perception.
• 💰 It highlights the potential for judgments about wealth to hinder one's financial success, as the subconscious may sabotage wealth accumulation to avoid being perceived as 'rich and unscrupulous'.
• 🤸‍♀️ The speaker shares personal experiences and insights, including the realization that a people-pleasing personality stemmed from early judgments about inconsiderate behavior.
• 📝 A powerful exercise is introduced to help listeners identify their own judgments by listing every judgment they've ever made about others and themselves.
• ⏱️ The exercise is demonstrated by the speaker, who provides unfiltered examples of judgments in a stream of consciousness manner, aiming to reveal the depth and range of these judgments.
• 🔑 The importance of mindfulness in recognizing the frequency and impact of judgments is stressed, as it's a key step toward personal growth and transformation.
• 🛑 The transcript suggests that by stopping judgments of others, one can effectively stop self-judgment, leading to a more fulfilling and less conflicted life.
• 🌱 The final takeaway is an encouragement to engage in consistent personal development work, such as the exercises and practices suggested, to achieve significant life changes over time.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Leo's discussion in this episode?

The main topic of Leo's discussion is about how to stop judging oneself and the impact of judgments on one's life.

What does Leo suggest is the problem with judgments?

Leo suggests that judgments are poisoning your life because they often backfire on you without your awareness, affecting your self-perception and behavior.

How does Leo illustrate the concept that judgments about others apply to oneself?

Leo uses various examples, such as judging fat people, attractive women, rich individuals, and newbies, to illustrate how making judgments about others can lead to self-judgment and create difficulties in one's own life.

What is the example Leo provides about judging fat people and how it can backfire?

Leo explains that if you judge fat people and then find yourself gaining a little weight, you may start to feel guilty and neurotic, which can make your fitness routine about avoiding the judgment you've placed on others.

How does judging attractive women, according to Leo, potentially affect a woman's own sexual experiences?

Leo suggests that if a woman judges other attractive women as 'skanks', she may feel guilty or repressed in her own sexual experiences, preventing her from enjoying sex fully due to the incongruence with her own self-image.

What is the potential issue with judging rich people, as mentioned by Leo?

Judging rich people can create a problem if you become successful and wealthy yourself. The judgment you've internalized may make you feel guilty or conflicted, potentially sabotaging your own success.

What exercise does Leo recommend to help individuals recognize their own judgments and their impact?

Leo recommends an exercise where individuals write out a comprehensive list of every judgment they've ever made about others and themselves, then identify which judgments have the potential to backfire on them.

Why is it important to include both positive and negative judgments in Leo's exercise?

It's important to include both positive and negative judgments because both can create rigid rules that limit your behavior and potentially backfire, affecting your life in negative ways.

How does Leo demonstrate the exercise he recommends?

Leo demonstrates the exercise by doing a stream of consciousness where he lists judgments he's made about others and himself without filtering, aiming to show the process and the types of judgments that might be overlooked.

What is the key takeaway from Leo's discussion on judgments?

The key takeaway is that judgments you make about others often apply to yourself as well, creating a double-edged sword effect. To stop judging yourself, you must also stop judging others and become more mindful of your judgments.