It’s actually pretty simple to be self-disciplined

Summary

The video script addresses the struggle of maintaining focus in a world filled with distractions and the pressure to conform to others' expectations. It emphasizes the importance of self-discipline, which arises from clarity rather than force, and the need to align one's actions with personal goals rather than societal norms. The speaker encourages viewers to embrace their unique identities, remove distractions, and pursue meaningful endeavors with a clear vision. The script also discusses the concept of 'anti-goals' to maintain balance in life and the power of writing as a tool for self-confidence and personal growth, ultimately advocating for an unconventional path to achieving one's full potential.

Takeaways

• 🧘 Achieving personal goals can be challenging due to societal pressures and distractions, leading to a lack of focus on one's own aspirations.
• 🤔 Pursuing your own path may require overcoming resistance from family, friends, or colleagues, which can be emotionally painful.
• 🚫 Recognize that others may not support your dreams because they have not been exposed to the same information or share your vision.
• 💡 Understand that no one will give you permission to pursue your goals; you must take the initiative and trust in your ability to succeed.
• 🔑 Self-discipline is not about force but clarity; it involves saying no to distractions and maintaining a clear vision for the future.
• 📚 Continuous self-education and skill development are crucial to closing the gaps in your knowledge and achieving your goals.
• 🧩 Realize that your identity shapes your behavior, and to change your behavior, you must change your identity and habits.
• 🎯 Set clear, meaningful goals and be prepared to make sacrifices (anti-goals) to achieve them without compromising other important aspects of your life.
• 🤝 Building connections and friendships with like-minded individuals can provide support, new perspectives, and opportunities for growth.
• ✍️ Writing in public is a powerful tool for self-expression, building confidence, and attracting opportunities; it's also a skill that can be developed by anyone.
• 📈 Viewing life as a game with challenges, skills to develop, and rules to follow can help you maintain focus, motivation, and a sense of progress towards your goals.

Q & A

Why is it challenging for people to focus on their big goals?

People find it difficult to focus on their big goals because their minds are flooded with the risk of pursuing their own goals rather than those imposed by others like parents, friends, or bosses. Additionally, they are constantly being told what to care about and are distracted by the fear of wasting time and the judgment of others if they choose to go their own way.

What can be the emotional impact of not having support from friends or family when pursuing personal goals?

Lack of support from friends or family can be incredibly painful. It may lead to the loss of people from one's life and a part of one's identity, causing emotional distress.

Why do some people struggle to believe in the success of others' new endeavors?

Some people struggle to believe in the success of new endeavors because their minds are programmed with beliefs that serve their outdated goals. They haven't been exposed to the same information, education, and potential, so they can't see the opportunity and find it hard to believe in possibilities beyond their own experiences.

What is the first realization one must make when seeking to pursue their own goals?

The first realization is that nobody is going to give you permission to do what you want. You have to take the initiative and trust that you can learn and grow as you pursue your goals.

How does the speaker describe the impact of distractions on achieving goals?

The speaker describes distractions as something that splits one's focus between various goals imposed by others, leaving no attention to invest in one's own goals. This lack of focus leads to a constant state of stress and an inability to make progress.

What is the role of self-discipline in achieving one's goals?

Self-discipline is essential for achieving goals as it involves saying no to distractions and maintaining a clear vision for the future. It is the byproduct of knowing what you want and accepting nothing less from yourself.

How does the speaker define self-discipline?

Self-discipline is defined as the ability to say no to people, places, and things that distract you from achieving your goals. It comes from clarity, not force, and is a natural outcome of having a clear vision and purpose.

What are the three constants the speaker suggests for maintaining self-discipline?

The three constants for maintaining self-discipline are: one, having a constant reminder of your vision; two, constant self-education to fill in gaps in knowledge; and three, constant building towards your vision to practice the skills necessary to achieve it.

How does the speaker relate identity to self-discipline?

The speaker relates identity to self-discipline by stating that people's behavior is shaped by their identity. If your true identity aligns with your goals, then the actions needed to achieve those goals will come naturally and be a part of who you are.

What is the purpose of the 'anti-goals' concept mentioned in the script?

The purpose of 'anti-goals' is to help individuals define what they are not willing to sacrifice in order to achieve their main goals. It turns life into a game by setting boundaries and challenges that encourage a balanced approach to goal achievement without neglecting other important aspects of life.

What does the speaker suggest as the first step towards becoming self-disciplined?

The first step towards becoming self-disciplined is to remove distractions by auditing your life for goals that you didn't knowingly pursue and ensuring that every action you take aligns with your own goals and vision.

How does the speaker view the concept of starting a business?

The speaker views starting a business as a means to gain control over one's time and to pursue personal goals. It is a way to solve problems, build something of one's own, contribute to humanity, and develop self-confidence through value exchange.

What is the significance of writing in public according to the script?

Writing in public is significant as it helps individuals become confident in their thoughts and life direction. It exposes them to public criticism, helps audit their beliefs, find like-minded connections, and allows them to practice and see progress in their skills.

What is the role of making new friends and mastermind groups in building self-confidence?

Making new friends and being part of a mastermind group helps in achieving goals by providing a network of support, shared learning, and increased opportunities. It contributes to self-confidence by being part of a community working towards shared objectives and by increasing social proof through association.

What is the final step the speaker suggests for building self-confidence?

The final step for building self-confidence, according to the speaker, is to publish your work. This involves putting your ideas and creations out into the world, facing criticism, collecting feedback, and using it to improve and grow.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Overcoming Life's Stressful Distractions

The first paragraph addresses the pervasive stress in modern life, which stems from the difficulty in focusing on personal goals due to societal pressures and distractions. It discusses the fear of pursuing one's own aspirations instead of those imposed by others. The script touches on the challenge of gaining support from friends and family when their goals and beliefs differ from ours, leading to potential isolation and identity crises. It emphasizes the need to recognize that others may not understand our vision because they haven't shared our experiences. The paragraph also highlights the importance of self-discipline, which comes from clarity rather than force, and the necessity of focusing on one's own goals to achieve progress.

05:00

🚀 Cultivating Self-Discipline and Identity

The second paragraph delves into the concept of self-discipline, which is described as a natural outcome of having a clear vision and goals. It contrasts the struggles of those without self-discipline to individuals who have integrated their goals into their identity, making the pursuit of these goals second nature. The paragraph also discusses the importance of self-education and consistent effort towards one's vision. It touches on the idea of 'anti-goals', which are the sacrifices one is not willing to make in the pursuit of their main goals, and how understanding these can turn life into a rewarding game that promotes progress and fulfillment.

10:01

🎯 Pursuing Goals with Self-Confidence

The third paragraph focuses on the transformation of identity as a means to achieve self-discipline and self-confidence. It suggests that all change is fundamentally a change in identity, as it is through repeated actions that we define who we are. The paragraph encourages awareness of the challenges in changing one's identity and the reprogramming of the mind to adopt new beliefs and habits. It also emphasizes the role of self-confidence in overcoming the fear of taking leaps and pursuing unconventional paths, such as writing publicly, which can lead to personal growth and the development of a strong sense of self.

15:03

💼 The Power of Business and Writing

The fourth paragraph discusses the significance of writing and entrepreneurship in building self-confidence. It posits that writing is a fundamental human ability that has allowed us to evolve and progress as a species. The paragraph encourages public writing as a means to gain confidence, build connections, and establish a clear direction in life. It also argues that starting a business is not merely a capitalistic pursuit but a path to autonomy, fulfillment, and a means to contribute to society. The paragraph ends with a critique of negative perceptions of business and money, suggesting that these attitudes can limit personal growth and opportunities.

20:03

📝 Embracing Public Writing and Growth

The fifth paragraph emphasizes the importance of public writing as a tool for personal development and self-confidence. It asserts that writing is a basic human function and a powerful means of communication. The paragraph outlines steps to build self-confidence through writing, including choosing topics of interest, learning from observation, and publishing work to gain feedback. It also discusses the concept of a mastermind, where like-minded individuals collaborate to achieve shared goals, and the role of making new friends and connections in this process. The paragraph highlights how writing can lead to social proof and open doors to opportunities, even from well-known figures.

25:05

🤓 Accepting Failure as a Path to Confidence

The sixth and final paragraph addresses the inevitable failures and shortcomings that come with attempting new endeavors. It encourages embracing failure as a part of the learning process and a necessary step towards building genuine confidence. The paragraph stresses the importance of publishing one's work, facing criticism, and using feedback to improve. It contrasts this path of self-improvement with the complacency of staying within one's comfort zone. The paragraph concludes with a call to action to dedicate oneself to learning and building, rather than waiting for opportunities to be handed over.

Keywords

💡Stress

Stress, in the context of this video, refers to the overwhelming pressure individuals feel in their pursuit of success and the challenges of focusing on their goals amidst distractions and societal expectations. It relates to the video's theme as it highlights the mental strain that prevents people from achieving their aspirations, as mentioned in the line 'Look around. Everyone is stressed out of their minds.'

💡Self-discipline

Self-discipline is a central concept in the video, defined as the ability to resist distractions and maintain focus on one's goals. It is portrayed as a skill derived from clarity of purpose rather than force, as exemplified by the phrase 'Self-discipline is saying no to people, places, and things that distract you from the pain of not achieving your goals.'

💡Identity

Identity, in this video, is the concept of one's sense of self, shaped by beliefs, habits, and goals. It is integral to the video's narrative as it discusses how one's identity can either facilitate or hinder the achievement of goals, as indicated by 'Someone whose true identity is a bodybuilder doesn't have difficulty going to the gym or eating healthy. They just do it.'

💡Distractions

Distractions are the various competing interests and stimuli that divert attention away from one's core objectives. The video emphasizes the detrimental effect of distractions on progress, as stated in 'You don't have any attention left to invest into your own goals, or even think about them.'

💡Focus

Focus is the concentration of one's attention and efforts on a specific goal or task. The video underscores the importance of focus for achieving success, as it is disrupted by the chaos of distractions, highlighted by 'Your focus is split between all of these different goals that people are trying to tell you to achieve.'

💡Pain

Pain, in the video, symbolizes the discomfort and suffering that come from not achieving one's goals or from the struggle to change one's identity and habits. It is used to motivate action and change, as in 'The pain of not achieving your goals must outweigh the pain of living a comfortable life.'

💡Fear

Fear is presented as a barrier that prevents individuals from pursuing their own path and taking control of their lives. It is discussed in the context of the anxiety of potential loss and judgment from others, as seen in 'If you decide to go your own way, and take control of your life.'

💡Potential

Potential refers to the latent abilities or capabilities that individuals possess, which can be realized through education and exposure to new information. The video speaks to the importance of recognizing and harnessing one's potential, as in 'They haven't been exposed to the same information, education, and potential.'

💡Progress

Progress is the advancement or development towards achieving one's goals. The video discusses the struggle to make progress due to distractions and lack of focus, as well as the relief that comes from making progress, as mentioned in 'The only way to find relief is to keep scrolling, to make ourselves feel like we are making progress.'

💡Anti-goals

Anti-goals are the sacrifices one is not willing to make in order to achieve a goal. They are introduced as a concept to help turn life into a game with rules and challenges, as described in 'Goals are not goals that you don't want to achieve. They are the sacrifices you are not willing to make to achieve a goal.'

💡Flow state

Flow state is a psychological term used in the video to describe a state of complete immersion and focus in an activity, which is achieved through a balance of challenge and skill. It is related to the video's theme as it discusses how anti-goals can facilitate achieving a flow state, as explained in 'That's what creates the game. That's what makes it fun, because yes, it will take a lot more time and work to actually achieve that goal.'

💡Transformation

Transformation is the process of changing one's identity, beliefs, or habits to achieve personal growth and success. The video emphasizes the importance of transformation for building self-confidence, as stated in 'Stories equal transformation. You aren't confident because you're trapped in someone else's story.'

Highlights

The transcript emphasizes the difficulty of focusing on personal goals amidst societal pressures and distractions.

It discusses the struggle of pursuing personal aspirations versus the expectations of others, such as parents, friends, or employers.

The importance of self-belief and the challenges of convincing others who have different life experiences and goals is highlighted.

Parents and their influence, shaped by their own life goals and the potential for their mindset to limit the ambitions of the younger generation, is examined.

The concept that no one will give you permission to pursue your dreams, and the necessity to take the initiative, is presented.

The idea that stress and distractions can be overwhelming, preventing people from focusing on their singular goals, is explored.

A call to action to deeply assess one's situation, to become fed up with lack of progress, and to focus on meaningful goals is made.

The transcript explains that self-discipline comes from clarity, not force, and involves saying no to distractions.

The necessity of maintaining a clear vision for the future and acquiring skills to close gaps in knowledge is discussed.

The transcript suggests that self-discipline is a byproduct of an ordered or obsessed mind, focused on a clear vision.

It argues that behavior and identity are closely linked, and changing one's identity can lead to natural self-discipline.

The idea that each identity comes with trade-offs and the importance of not becoming too attached to a single identity is presented.

The transcript encourages viewing life as a game with challenges, skills, clarity, feedback, and rules to achieve a flow state.

The concept of 'anti-goals' is introduced as a way to maintain other life aspects while pursuing loftier goals.

The importance of reinventing oneself and the pain associated with changing one's identity and habits is discussed.

Writing as a means to build self-confidence, expose oneself to public criticism, and find like-minded individuals is highlighted.

The final steps to self-confidence involve deconstructing goals, starting a business, writing in public, making new friends, and publishing work.

Transcripts

Look around.

Everyone is stressed out of their minds.

We all want to achieve big things, but it is becoming

infinitely more difficult to focus on those big things.

So those big things don't get done.

Our mind is flooded with the risk

of pursuing your own goals,

instead of the ones

your parents or friends or partner or boss want for you.

Being told what to care about.

Skills to learn.

Countries to support.

Foods to avoid.

By people with goals

that don't align with your own thoughts about the job.

You have to show up

to how much time you're going to waste,

and all the things you won't be able to do

and what people will think.

If you decide to go your own way

and take control of your life.

These are not easy thoughts to deal with.

If your friends or parents don't support you,

or if they even try to stop you.

That can be incredibly painful.

You may lose people from your life,

and you may lose a part of your identity.

And that hurts.

The problem is that they don't know what you know.

They haven't been exposed

to the same information, education and potential

so they don't see the opportunity.

Their mind is still programed with beliefs

that serve their outdated goals.

It's difficult for them to believe

that your new endeavor will work out,

because all they know to be possible is what they've done.

Parents are very good at this.

They were assigned goals at birth.

They pursued those goals and saw results.

Their identity was shaped and so is their mind.

They don't continue their education and expansion

and exploration after graduating high school or college.

Their minds harden up.

They get

locked into the same beliefs

and thoughts that they've had their entire life.

And once this happens,

you've heard the saying people hate

what they don't understand.

That's exactly what happens.

Things that don't align with what they know to be true

or possible or whatever is there in their limited mind.

That's what's possible.

And they're not going to believe anything else,

and they're going to try to avoid and stop anything else.

This is the first realization that you have to make.

Nobody is going to give you permission to do what you want.

They weren't exposed to the information you were.

They don't have the story that you were telling yourself,

unless they were developed enough

to open their mind to that story.

You have to jump out of the nest at some point,

and trust that you can learn to fly even further.

You only have so much focus.

You can invest into your goals every single day.

It's no wonder why people live

in a constant state of stress.

We can't focus.

As soon as we wake up,

we grab our phones

and flood our minds with news,

advice, doomsday predictions,

and people doing better than us.

The only way to find relief

is to keep scrolling

to make ourselves feel like we are making progress.

The mind craves order,

and that's exactly why you feel terrible.

Your attention is not focused on a singular goal

for the future so that distractions can't penetrate it.

Your focus is split between all of these different goals

that people are trying

to tell you to achieve,

to the point where you can't pay attention to your own.

You don't have any attention

left to invest into your own goals

or even think about them.

So you only have one option,

and that is to feel deep into your situation.

Realize where your life will end up

if you keep going down this path.

Become absolutely fed up with the lack of progress

you're making.

Use that negative energy to laser in on the meaningful goal

that you've been putting off.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

It's that

nagging inner voice

that is asking you to do more with your life,

and you can hear it.

You were meant for more than this.

You have what it takes to be successful.

You don't have to end up like the rest.

So seriously, feel into your situation.

Stop avoiding it.

You have to add to the gravity of the life

you want to achieve.

So here's where you don't want to be,

here's where you want to be.

And the more you realize where you don't want to be,

the more powerful this becomes

and it starts to pull you towards it

because the other one is pushing you away.

The fear of ending up in just a terrible

life will push you towards a life that you want to live.

The pain of

not achieving

your goals must outweigh

the pain of living a comfortable life.

You must remove the distractions,

numbing you from the pain of becoming

who you were meant to be.

Now, if you want to achieve

great things,

you have to understand what self-discipline is

because discipline comes from clarity, not force.

Self discipline is saying no to people, places,

and things that distract you from the pain of not achieving

your goals.

Most people don't understand self-discipline.

It's not something that is supposed to be difficult.

It is the byproduct of knowing

what you want and accepting nothing less from yourself.

It is the byproduct of an ordered mind or an obsessed mind.

And that means maintaining a clear vision for the future.

And when gaps appear that threaten that vision

or make it so you. I don't know how to achieve that vision.

That's when you go to educate and acquire skills

that allow you to close that gap.

So you maintain the clarity

because order is balanced with chaos.

Your mind isn't always going to be ordered.

It's often going to be chaotic,

and you need to be able to zoom out.

Create order.

Remind yourself of your goals

and fill in the gaps

that created the chaos in the first place.

So you need one constant reminder of your vision,

two constant

self-education, and three constant building

towards your vision.

So that you can practice

skills that allow you to achieve it,

and identify new paths that you need to take, or identify

gaps in your knowledge so you can fill it

and actually make progress in life.

The reason people struggle with self discipline

is because they get distracted from what matters.

They forget who they want to become.

They forget what they are capable of.

They forget the impact they want to have.

You aren't disciplined because you aren't

the person who would seamlessly achieve the goal

they set out to achieve.

Someone whose true identity is

a bodybuilder doesn't have difficult

he going to the gym or eating healthy.

They just do it.

It's a natural part of who they are

because that's who they are.

Someone whose true identity is a writer

doesn't have difficulty going on

long walks for idea

generation, or sitting out and having focused work sessions

for writing. They just do it.

They're a writer.

What else are they going to do?

They aren't a video gamer.

They aren't a bodybuilder.

They're not going to the gym.

They're not playing video games. They're a writer.

They write.

That's what they do. It's easy.

Now, on the flip side,

someone who has the true identity

of a video gamer,

and I'm talking like a stereotypical gamer who you'll find

in the depths of Reddit comments just trolling all day.

They don't have any difficulty doing that.

That's just a natural part of their identity.

That's a habit to

them, is to go on and try to ruin

other people's lives and troll

and not contribute anything meaningful to the world.

I'm not saying every gamers like that, obviously,

but the people where it's their identity to be a troll

and a gamer

and their actions reflect that,

and it just digs them deeper and deeper into a hole.

They obviously don't have any trouble doing that.

People's behavior is shaped from their identity.

You don't have trouble doing what you do on a daily basis,

like procrastinating or going to bed late or other things,

because it's just been conditioned

as to that's who you are.

And anything that conflicts that,

like becoming a writer

or becoming a fitness guy or becoming someone worth being

that's going to threaten you

and you need to recondition

who you are

in order to get there so that your actions

just become natural.

You're naturally self disciplined

now in terms of the gamer.

You have to understand

they can sit in front of a screen

for 8 to 10 hours a day

and like their lives, a bodybuilder, on the other hand,

would see that as a living hell

because they know that they're ruining their health.

They've studied bodybuilding and nutrition

to the point of knowing that sitting in front of a screen

for 8 to 10 hours a day

is the worst thing that they could do for their health.

And if their goal is health and bodybuilding,

then they're not going to do that

because it's not their goal.

You're working towards goals with every single action

you take.

Much of the time

that's just unconscious

and you have no idea what the fuck you're doing.

But when you make those conscious

and you start to pursue them,

and you invest energy into a new goal

for who you want to become, it's

going to be difficult at first,

but you're eventually going to create the identity

that you want to create,

and those actions are going to come naturally,

and then you will become that person.

Each identity has its trade off,

so it's wise not to become dogmatic

about one

becoming a gamer

or becoming a writer or becoming a bodybuilder is good.

It's a good lens for achieving a specific goal

in acquiring specific skills and having specific behavior.

But once you become attached to that,

that's when sacrifices are necessary

and pain starts to get involved

because everything challenges your identity.

Like getting locked into a routine

and one day when you have to get off that routine,

you just feel like shit

because your happiness was based

off of the order that the routine provided.

That's not the goal.

Your goal is to kind of collect identities and perspectives

to form this big, overarching integral one

where you can become a shapeshifter.

You can become different identities at different times

and have the skills necessary to do so

so that you can live in more situations optimally.

It's not about being a specialist,

it's about being a generalist,

which we'll talk about next week.

But you want to be a generalist in perspective to be able

to navigate more situations in life without stress.

So the first step to becoming

self-disciplined is to remove distractions.

Ask yourself,

do you know why you're doing what you're doing?

Have you asked yourself that question in the last month?

Why are you going to school?

Working that job,

building that business, doing that workout?

Was it your choice,

or was it a goal

that was programed into your head

by your parents, friends, or culture?

Audit your life for goals

that you didn't know you were pursuing.

Sit down with a notebook and write down every single thing

that you are doing throughout the day

and why you are doing it.

If you don't have a good answer, that's a distraction.

You are wasting emotional energy on other people's dreams

so that you don't have enough for your own.

Now, if you need help with clarity

and just want something physical to write this down

on, you can use my full site planner

which is in the link in the description. It's right here.

It's an actual physical planner.

The second step to becoming

self-disciplined is to view life as a game.

Now, recently,

I've been fascinated by the concept of antique.

Goals.

And goals are not goals that you don't want to achieve.

They are the sacrifices

you are not willing to make to achieve a goal.

As an example,

if I want to build $1 billion company,

what am I not willing to sacrifice to get there?

Because most people who have these lofty goals don't

really pay attention to what they sacrifice along the way.

They're so focused and specialized on one specific goal

that they neglect their health,

their family, and most of their areas of life

just to achieve it,

and then look back and be like,

look at everything I destroyed.

Rather than look at everything that I built.

Now, on the other hand,

if you're smart, you understand that you can still achieve

that goal

and maintain or even build other aspects of your life.

You don't have to lose your health

in order to build a business.

You don't have to lose your family

in order to build a business.

If you think that, then that's what's going to happen.

But if you

accept that, that's the creative challenge

that you have to take on to figure out, okay,

how do I build this billion dollar company

while still being able to maintain those things?

That's what creates the game.

That's what makes it fun,

because yes,

it will take a lot more time

and work to actually achieve that goal.

But what else is there to do?

The only choice

if you don't take on the creative

challenge, is to let your life burn right in front of you,

because you didn't have the restraint

or discipline to take on more responsibility in a wise way.

Now that's the cool thing about anti goals

is that they turn life into a game

because they check all the boxes for the flow state.

The first is challenge, a goal

that is within reach and test your skill.

The second is skill.

If your skill is too low for the challenge,

you get anxious.

If it is too high, you get bored,

indicating that you need to choose

a greater or lesser challenge rather than give up.

That's important.

If you are anxious, you're

probably pursuing a goal

that is too high and you need to identify a goal before

that so that it becomes easier

to achieve and easier to order your mind and focus on it.

You may be projecting too far into the future,

and if you're bored, you're either not pursuing a goal

or you're pursuing the wrong goal, or you stuck.

You've achieved a goal

and you still haven't set another one.

The third is clarity.

A hierarchy of greater to lesser goals

makes it easier to start moving

towards your vision for the future.

The fourth is feedback.

You know exactly when you're making progress

and that feels good.

You don't feel trapped

in a cycle of repetitive tasks that lead to nowhere.

And the fifth is rules. Rules, or boundaries.

Frame how you perceive the world.

Your mind has more space to notice information

that aids in the achievement of your goals.

When you turn your life into a game,

you become obsessed with progress.

There are quests.

There are challenges. There are dungeons.

There are other things.

And depending on the level of the game that you're at.

That's when on the map places become bright.

You can see them, you can navigate them,

you can go into them

and discover what you didn't have before

and what you didn't know existed there before.

So if you aren't pursuing new goals in your life

and being self-disciplined,

you're closing yourself off to so much experience in life.

Now, the third step for becoming

self-disciplined is reinventing yourself.

All change is behavior change or behavior

change is identity change.

So all change is identity change

because you are what you repeatedly do.

You are disciplined towards the goals in your head.

Right now.

It isn't difficult for you to watch Netflix

all day lane bed and just be lazy.

For many high performers,

that is the worst thing in the world.

They would hate their lives if they live that in you.

Think you're comfortable for high performers,

the pain of not achieving

the goals that make them who they are would eat them alive

because their identity is dying.

There's physical death and then there's mental death.

Your identity, when that changes, it hurts.

When a part of it is threatened,

it hurts when your connection

to something in the world

or your attachment

to something in the world gets threatened,

like your video games being taken away

or something being taken away from you because that's mine.

That's what I'm talking about here.

When your lifestyle and goals are taken away from you,

or you're not able to achieve them,

that should feel painful and that's a good thing.

So with that, your journey is going to be painful.

You are letting your old self die off.

You're letting your old beliefs and habits

that are holding you back, said.

So the first step is just awareness

that it's going to be difficult to change.

And the second step

is reprograming

your mind to operate towards becoming a new identity.

So throw yourself into a new environment

that aligns with who you want to become.

Drown your mind in ideas, information, and education

that exposes you to new goals

and ways to achieve those goals and view every situation

through the perspective of your ideal lifestyle

and make decisions accordingly.

Throw yourself into the deep end

and teach yourself to swim.

But most people won't take the leap out of fear.

And that's why we need to talk about self-confidence

rather than self-discipline.

So let's talk about an unconventional path

to becoming self-confident,

because there is a lot of advice

online on how to become self-confident.

It's a very big issue.

And clearly that is a global problem

that hasn't been solved yet.

I don't think my solution is the only solution,

but I think it may provide you with some things

to try outside of what normal people are telling you to do.

The reason I say this is because when I started writing,

it changed my life and not just writing in a journal,

which is extremely helpful,

but writing in a public journal.

Writing helped me become confident

in my thoughts and life direction

by being exposed to public criticism,

forcing me to audit my beliefs,

finding friends and connections with shared goals.

So I stopped feeling like an outcast,

practicing a skill

and seeing progress with it every single day,

and failing often

to keep me humble and give me new direction

that I wouldn't have normally found.

Now, obviously

writing is not the only way to self-confidence,

but a lot of people get it wrong.

And I'm speaking from experience here.

I'm giving you

writing advice from a writer and it may help you.

It's worth a try.

Most people think that writing

is just the type of skill or a hobby.

They don't see it as the one thing that makes us human.

We are the only species that can pass down information

by documenting knowledge

with writing to help those who come after us

avoid danger and evolve.

Writing is why we make it so far as individuals

and as a collective.

We would literally not be here

with all of this stuff

surrounding us with technology in any of that.

If it weren't for writing and documented communication.

Writing started

as carvings in caves

and have now become ideas on the internet.

That's how writing has evolved.

The carvings were barely seen,

but with the internet,

you have the ability to share your ideas

and writing with thousands of people.

Writing is the intersection of purpose and profit.

Don't underestimate that power.

Now writing will make sense when we come back to it,

but step one to becoming self-confident is to deconstruct

your goals.

You aren't confident

because you haven't invested in your portfolio of failures.

You spent too much time

residing in the comfort of other people's paths in life.

You failed to break free from the masses.

Think for yourself,

set your own goals, and achieve them

regardless of how long it takes.

You aren't confident

because you don't have results in anything

aside from what's already been done.

Sit with your thoughts.

What do you really want out of life?

Is it the same boring path as everyone else?

No?

Then the only option is to pay attention

to what you don't want in life

by observing the actions of most people

and where those lead. Do the opposite of everyone else.

If you want to achieve something more out of life,

think about your future and deconstruct it into goals

you will have to achieve and actions you will have to take.

Educate yourself

every single day with the material

that will help you achieve those goals.

And last,

block out time for focused work

to build out your vision for the future.

Then start self confidence comes from doing what you think

is uncomfortable

over and over again and realizing

it wasn't that bad in the first place.

Step number two

to becoming self-confident is to start a business.

Because if you truly think about what you want in

life, starting a business is not optional.

A business is the only thing

that gives you control over your time,

so that you can do what you want.

And even if you think you want a job,

you're going to be destined

to pursuing the goals that are assigned to you

for the rest of your life.

Do you really want that?

I'm not saying jobs are bad.

I've never said that.

And I try to always

preface it

with the fact that I feel like a job is a stepping stone

to learn and acquire skills, to

eventually be able to go and do your own thing

and survive along the way because you have to survive.

The problem is when people become trapped in a job

because it becomes comfortable to them

and they don't know how to escape,

and then by that point, they're locked in

with so many responsibilities,

from a family

to bills to a mortgage that they have no way out.

And then they justify to themselves that

that's what they wanted their entire life.

So think about it. What do you really want?

And is that really any different

from what most people want?

Because it's in their nature.

You want autonomy, work

you enjoy and to have an impact on the world

so you can fulfill

your human need to be a valuable contribution to humanity.

A business is not some capitalistic pursuit

to own a private jet and mansion.

A business is how you solve problems.

A business is how you build something of your own.

A business is how you contribute

to humanity through value exchange.

A business is how you take back control of your life.

A business is how you develop self-confidence

in your interests and expertise.

Now small plug

I probably shouldn't do this this soon, but new course

on par with you writer is called mental monetization.

Link in the description.

If you want to learn

how to monetize your creative work in the best way,

most people are programed to have a negative reaction

when they hear the word business.

And this is one of the worst things

that could happen to you, honestly,

because you're just going to have that reaction

until you realize how dumb that reaction was.

It delays your time and perception from noticing

moneymaking opportunities and actually acting on them.

Because if you constantly think

that the business and money are bad,

then you aren't going to make any

and you're just setting yourself up

for unnecessary suffering

because you have all of these irrational thoughts

as to what you think money is.

When it's just a piece of paper, it's neutral

until put in the hands of good or evil.

And if you are evil or you think money is evil,

that's probably a projection of your internal state.

So maybe you shouldn't have money,

and maybe you should do some internal work first

and then go after business.

So when this happens, when you mislabel

money and business,

you go on to do one of the worst things of all.

You hide from your desire

to reach

your potential self-actualize and self

transcend by demonizing anyone

and anything that would compromise the comfort.

You don't even know you are addicted to.

And you continue to be a cog in the machine of a business

that is making money in potentially unethical ways.

You don't want to start a business,

but the only other option is to work for a business.

You save that money, and starting

a business is superficial,

but the thing that consumes most of your time is scrolling

on surface level social media.

You never go deep into any kind of interest or skill,

and that's what business is.

You have to become an expert

at something and dive deep into it.

It's the most deep pursuit you can go into,

and then you need to pass that to others

in exchange for money.

Now step three to becoming

self-confident is to write in public.

Now, if you aren't a fan of writing,

which I would heavily question,

and it's probably just a reaction in your head

because everyone writes, you text your friends, you send

emails, you're a writer whether you think you are or not.

That's just a basic human function of yours.

If you don't want to think about it like that,

just think about communicating in public

or communicating in general.

Writing is a super power.

You can achieve your goals faster.

You can attract like minded people.

You can start with zero experience.

You become comfortable with people.

Seeing your ideas and writing is the foundation of media.

Everything you see online, from posts

to videos to advertisements, start with writing.

Media is where the attention is,

and if you want to do anything

worthwhile in life, you're

either going to need money or attention to do so.

So you need to go where the attention is.

You can no longer rely on your boss

to generate

attention, attract customers, and assign

you some measly work for a set amount of money.

To fulfill the product or service to those customers,

you must do all of the above.

Writing in public is the first step for beginners

who don't have capital or experience to start a business.

Writing is a zero

barrier of entry skill that you can start today

and start attracting people to your interest

in the things you would eventually

want to turn into a business.

Choose 2 to 3 topics to write about.

Topics you want to learn about.

Build a name for yourself in

and turn into a meaningful career.

Second, learn through observation.

Watch what others in those topics

are writing about

how they write about it,

and why they say things the way they do.

If you think I could have wrote this, then write about it.

You don't need permission on the internet,

and if you don't know where to start,

consider to our writer, even though it's unnecessary,

it's just a guide.

It's a course.

If you want to further your education, consider it.

Otherwise, watch a lot of YouTube videos.

Step four to becoming self-confident

is to make new friends.

There is a concept called a mastermind, and what that means

is multiple minds working together

to achieve a shared goal.

In the past,

you had to make connections in your local area

to make your business a success,

or you had to go to a prestigious school

in your local area and connect that way.

Now you have access to anyone at the click of a button.

Your success is no longer

determined by your socioeconomic status

and physical location.

It is determined by who you are connected

to and the opportunities they can pass off.

How do you find these connections?

Have a goal you want to achieve?

How do you attract people to that goal?

Starting a business with a mission to achieve that goal.

How do you get in front of well-connected

people writing in public to spread your ideas?

What does this have to do with self-confidence again?

Well, it's

kind of obvious

if you don't push

beyond your limits and fail and have a way

to overcome that,

then you're not going to become confident.

If you don't have anything to fail at or get better at,

how are you going to be confident?

A goal, business

and writing in that order

are how you continue to repeat this process to infinity.

There are no limits

except for the ones you place on yourself.

You will eventually hit a ceiling in a job.

Someone is in charge of the limits you can reach.

If you aren't hopping on the evolution

train with technology, AI,

and the internet by opening up shop in virtual reality,

the internet and social media, they will make you obsolete.

You make friends online

by just showing up and talking to people.

And that's just like you would at a party,

because on the internet,

you increase your social proof with your brand

and ideas, and outside of the internet

you increase your status with cars,

looks and material acquisitions.

And I feel like it's obvious

which one leads to a better life.

After four years of writing,

I can message almost anyone online and get a response

from them. I mean, Gordon Ramsay follows me.

I have a lot of followers because I write on social media.

When I say writing, that's what I mean.

Go look at my Instagram, go look at my Twitter,

look at my YouTube community page,

look at the newsletters

that get turned into YouTube videos.

It's all writing.

And now, with the social proof

that I have based on my ideas, I can DM people.

Almost anyone.

You probably DM John Cena

tomorrow and get a response from him.

Now. Step five is to publish your work.

To understand confidence, we must understand stories.

Stories equal transformation.

You aren't confident because you're trapped

in someone else's story.

You don't have a chance to transform

into who you were meant to become.

You don't have full control over your ability to escape.

The low point of the story, reach the climax,

and have a happy resolution.

The path

out of a low point in your life is trial and error.

The essence of life itself.

Your first attempt at writing will suck.

Your first attempt at launching a product will suck.

Your first attempt at making friends will suck.

So if you learn to write and you learn to launch a product,

which is the new course mental monetization,

you're going to fail like this.

Just what you're going to do.

But then you get back up and you try again

until it's right.

This is a path where people can't

just tell you exactly what to do.

They can give you guidelines and be like,

hey, here's how you actually flesh all these things out.

It's up to you to do it.

But in schools and jobs, it's like, hey, do this

exactly this way and you can be replaced.

The reason 99% of people are cripplingly unconfident

is because they unconsciously think

you just become confident

without doing anything that breeds

a more stable form of confidence.

Confidence is improvement.

Publish your writing and be called an idiot.

Publish your product and collect the negative feedback.

Put yourself out there and let people expose your flaws.

Only then, once you're aware of the problem,

can you know what to improve.

You can't improve what isn't published.

So when I say published,

I mean just built in reality, not in your head.

Not little ideas that you're thinking about,

but actually built.

You can't improve if you aren't aware of the problem.

Dying in your dark hole of comfort prevents you from both

the longer

you decide to stay there, the longer

it will take to develop confidence.

You can watch this and do nothing with your life

because you don't know enough to start.

Or you can finally take the leap

and dedicate your life to learning and building,

rather than expecting everything to be given to you.

That's it for this video.

Thank you for watching!

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Check it out. See you next time. Bye.