How to get someone to like you

Summary

In this insightful talk, Vanessa Van Edwards discusses the significance of likability in human interactions, emphasizing that being likable is essential for personal and professional success. She outlines key strategies to enhance likability, including using clear social signals, fostering mutual affection, leveraging shared interests, and being genuine. The video highlights the psychological aspects behind likability, showing how it influences social acceptance and opportunities. Ultimately, Van Edwards encourages viewers to embrace their authentic selves and connect with others, reinforcing that the simplest way to be liked is to genuinely like others in return.

Takeaways

• 😀 Likability is a crucial trait that enhances personal and professional relationships.
• 😀 Highly likable people tend to have more friends, better job stability, and more dating success.
• 😀 Signaling is essential; people often hide their feelings of liking due to fear of rejection.
• 😀 When you like more people, they are more likely to like you back, creating a positive cycle.
• 😀 The similarity attraction effect suggests we are drawn to people who share our values and interests.
• 😀 Finding and highlighting common interests helps build rapport and likability.
• 😀 Authenticity matters; being sincere and transparent increases your likability.
• 😀 Self-esteem plays a significant role; liking yourself is crucial for others to like you.
• 😀 Social cues are often not as obvious as we think; clear signaling can break the 'liking loop.'
• 😀 Embrace who you are and celebrate real similarities to enhance connections.

Q & A

What is the main premise of Vanessa Van Edwards' talk?

The main premise is that likability is crucial for success in social and professional settings, and that being likable can lead to more friendships, better job performance, and romantic opportunities.

How does the Australia Journal of Psychology relate likability to job retention?

The journal found that likable people are more likely to keep their jobs because they are easier to work with, making them valuable team members.

What is signal amplification bias?

Signal amplification bias is the tendency for people to underestimate how obvious their social cues are, often leading to miscommunication about mutual liking.

What are the three powerful words mentioned that relate to likability?

The three powerful words are 'I like you,' which serve as an appetizer to deeper feelings such as love.

Why do people tend to like others who like them?

People are more likely to like those who show they like them because it reduces the risk of social rejection and creates a sense of shared taste.

What does the similarity attraction effect indicate?

The similarity attraction effect suggests that individuals are naturally drawn to others who share similar values, interests, and even physical appearances.

What should you do when meeting someone new to enhance likability?

Look for similarities in interests or experiences to establish a connection, such as discussing shared hobbies or opinions.

What traits were found to be most important for likability according to UCLA research?

The top traits include sincerity, transparency, and a capacity for understanding, rather than typical stereotypes like being extroverted or attractive.

How can self-perception affect likability?

If someone struggles with self-acceptance or self-esteem, it can hinder their ability to be liked by others, as people can sense negative self-perception.

What final advice does Vanessa give about becoming more likable?

She emphasizes the importance of being genuine and highlighting real similarities with others, as authenticity fosters deeper connections.