Why You Feel Lost in Life

Summary

The video script delves into the common struggle of feeling lost in life and outlines a methodical approach to finding clarity and direction. It emphasizes the importance of understanding one's values, aspirations, and the impact one wishes to have. The speaker introduces several reflective prompts and exercises, such as imagining a future TED Talk, contemplating a fearless dream, envisioning an ideal day, and even writing one's own obituary. These exercises aim to help individuals identify their true desires, reduce the influence of fear, and align their actions with their core values. The script encourages viewers to engage with these introspective activities to gain a clearer sense of purpose and direction, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life journey.

Takeaways

• 🧭 The feeling of being lost in life can stem from not knowing where you're going, not knowing where you are, or not knowing the path to your destination.
• 🎯 To find direction, consider 'wayfinding', a process of figuring out where to go even without a clear destination, similar to how Christopher Columbus sailed.
• 💡 Engaging in exercises and reflection can help clarify what you want in life, which in turn can guide your actions and decisions.
• 🤔 It's common for people to struggle with knowing what they want, but successful individuals often don't have their entire life mapped out either.
• 🌟 Service to others is a key component of a meaningful life, and it doesn't have to be world-changing to be impactful.
• 📝 Writing down your thoughts and ideas during self-reflection exercises is crucial for clarity and is more effective than just thinking about them.
• 🚀 Fear often limits our thinking and prevents us from pursuing what we truly want; prompts like 'Fearless dream' can help overcome this barrier.
• 🌅 Imagining your 'ideal Tuesday' or 'ideal week' can provide insights into what you truly value and want in your life.
• 📈 Using role models can help identify the qualities you admire and wish to emulate, giving you a clearer sense of the person you want to become.
• ✍️ Writing your own obituary can be a powerful exercise to clarify your values, achievements, and the legacy you want to leave behind.
• 🌱 Reflecting on these exercises regularly allows for personal growth and the flexibility to change direction as your values and desires evolve over time.

Q & A

Why do people often feel lost in their lives?

People often feel lost in their lives because they may not know where they are trying to go, they might not know where they currently are, or they may not know the path to reach their goals.

What is the concept of 'wayfinding' in the context of life planning?

Wayfinding is the process of figuring out where to go even when you don't have a clear destination in mind. It involves taking steps and adjusting your course as you progress, similar to how Christopher Columbus explored the Atlantic Ocean.

What is the importance of service in finding a meaningful mission in life?

Service is important in finding a meaningful mission in life because it involves contributing to others in a way that aligns with one's values and passions, which can lead to a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

How can the Future Ted Talk prompt help someone determine their future path?

The Future Ted Talk prompt asks individuals to envision what they would talk about at a Ted conference 20 years in the future. This exercise helps them brainstorm ideas about the service they could offer to the world and what they might be passionate about.

What is the significance of reducing the effect of fear when trying to determine one's life direction?

Reducing the effect of fear allows individuals to think more openly about what they truly want without being limited by concerns of failure, judgment, or self-doubt. This can lead to a clearer understanding of their desires and aspirations.

How does imagining an ideal Tuesday help in understanding one's values and goals?

Imagining an ideal Tuesday involves envisioning a perfect day in terms of activities, relationships, and experiences. This helps identify what an individual truly values and what they want to prioritize in their life.

What is the purpose of writing one's own obituary as a method for self-reflection?

Writing one's own obituary forces an individual to consider the legacy they want to leave behind, the qualities they want to be remembered for, and the achievements they aspire to. It serves as a powerful tool for self-reflection and goal setting.

Why is it beneficial to consider the qualities of people one admires when defining personal goals?

Considering the qualities of admired individuals helps to identify the traits one aspires to emulate. This can provide a clearer direction for personal development and a sense of the type of person one wants to become.

null

null

How does the concept of 'life as a journey' apply to the process of finding one's life direction?

The concept of 'life as a journey' emphasizes the importance of the process and experiences over a fixed destination. It encourages flexibility and the understanding that one's direction in life can change over time as they learn and grow.

What role does the idea of a 'North Star' play in guiding one's life decisions?

A 'North Star' serves as a guiding principle or a central goal that provides direction and motivation. It helps individuals make decisions that align with their long-term values and aspirations, even as their specific goals may evolve.

Why is it suggested to write down the answers to the exercises presented in the script?

Writing down the answers helps solidify thoughts and makes the process of self-discovery more tangible. It also allows for better analysis and reflection over time, as opposed to trying to hold all the information in one's head.

Outlines

00:00

🧭 Understanding the Feeling of Being Lost

The paragraph discusses why people may feel lost in life, comparing it to being lost in a forest. It outlines three reasons for feeling lost: not knowing where you're going, not knowing where you are, and not knowing the path to your destination. The speaker introduces a video series that aims to help viewers figure out their direction in life, emphasizing the importance of understanding what you want, where you are, and how to get to your goal. The concept of 'wayfinding' is introduced, inspired by the book 'Designing Your Life', which is about navigating life without a clear destination. The paragraph concludes with the speaker sharing their personal TED Talk ideas as an example of how viewers might consider their own future impact and service to the world.

05:01

🥗 HU Sponsorship and Service to the World

This paragraph begins with a sponsorship acknowledgment for HU, a nutrition brand the speaker has been using since 2017. The speaker praises HU for helping him save time and meet his nutritional goals, especially when he's busy. The brand is described as offering high-protein, vegan products that are easy to incorporate into a busy lifestyle. The paragraph also includes a brief description of HU's new bestseller bundle, which includes a variety of their top products. The speaker encourages viewers to check out the link in the video description for more information and offers a personal recommendation of HU products.

10:02

🚀 Dreaming Big and Overcoming Fear

The speaker discusses the impact of fear on limiting one's thinking and how it can prevent people from pursuing their true desires. The paragraph introduces several prompts to help readers envision their life without the constraints of fear. These include imagining a future TED Talk, considering what one would do if they knew they could not fail, and thinking about what they would still do even if failure was guaranteed. The speaker also suggests reflecting on deferred dreams that were never pursued and identifying what is holding the reader back. The goal of these prompts is to help readers understand their authentic desires and reduce the influence of fear in their decision-making.

15:04

🌟 Ideal Life and Role Models

The paragraph focuses on identifying one's ideal life and using role models to shape personal aspirations. It suggests envisioning an 'ideal Tuesday' to understand what a perfect day would look like, which can reveal the reader's true values and desires. The speaker also recommends considering what an ideal week would entail, using a Google Calendar to map out activities that align with one's dreams. The paragraph then explores the idea of looking up to others by identifying people one admires and the qualities one would like to emulate. It concludes with the concept of writing one's own obituary as a way to clarify the legacy one wishes to leave behind.

20:05

📚 Personal Achievements and Legacy

This paragraph is a continuation of the previous one, delving deeper into the 'begin with the end in mind' method. It provides a detailed example of how one might write their own obituary, using a real-life scenario involving a team member named Tintin. The speaker guides Tintin through the process of identifying what he would want to be remembered for in terms of relationships, personal qualities, and professional achievements. The paragraph concludes with a touching mock obituary for Tintin, highlighting his impact on relationships, his inspiration to others, and his contributions to education. The speaker encourages viewers to undertake a similar exercise for themselves to gain clarity on their life's direction and values.

Keywords

💡Wayfinding

Wayfinding is a concept derived from the book 'Designing Your Life' by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans. It refers to the process of determining the direction one wants to go in life, even when the destination is not clearly defined. In the video, wayfinding is used as a metaphor for personal growth and self-discovery, emphasizing the importance of taking steps and adjusting one's course as needed, similar to Christopher Columbus's journey across the Atlantic.

💡North Star

The 'North Star' in the context of the video symbolizes a guiding principle or a fixed point of reference that helps an individual navigate their life's journey. It is used to illustrate the idea of having a clear direction or purpose in life, which can provide stability and motivation. The video encourages viewers to identify their own 'North Star' to reduce feelings of being lost or aimless.

💡Service

Service, as discussed in the video, is about offering something valuable to the world, which can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It is presented as a key component in designing a meaningful life. The script mentions that focusing on service over personal gain (like wealth or fame) is more likely to lead to a life filled with meaning and satisfaction.

💡Fear

Fear is portrayed in the video as a limiting factor that can prevent individuals from pursuing their true desires or potential. It is often associated with the fear of failure, judgment, or self-doubt. The video suggests that overcoming or reducing the effects of fear can help clarify one's life goals and aspirations, allowing for a more authentic and directed life path.

💡Ideal Tuesday

The 'Ideal Tuesday' is a thought experiment presented in the video to help viewers envision their perfect day. It involves imagining what activities, people, and experiences would make a day ideal, providing insights into one's true values and desires. This exercise is part of a broader method to help individuals figure out their life's direction and goals.

💡Role Models

Role models are individuals whom one admires and whose qualities one wishes to emulate. In the video, the concept is used as a tool for self-reflection and personal development. By identifying people one admires and understanding what traits are admired about them, one can gain clarity on the kind of person they aspire to be.

💡Obituary

Writing one's own obituary is presented as an exercise in the video to help individuals clarify their life's direction and values. By contemplating what they would like to be remembered for, viewers are encouraged to think deeply about their achievements, relationships, and the impact they wish to have on the world.

💡Impostor Syndrome

Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a 'fraud'. The video mentions this phenomenon in the context of writing a book, highlighting how it can hinder personal and professional growth. Overcoming impostor syndrome is suggested as a step towards greater self-acceptance and clarity in life direction.

💡Education Reform

Education reform is a theme in the video where the speaker expresses a desire to contribute to the field of education, indicating a shift towards more effective and inclusive learning methods. This reflects the speaker's values and the kind of legacy they wish to leave, emphasizing the importance of aligning one's work with their core beliefs.

💡Legacy

Legacy, in the context of the video, refers to the impact one leaves behind after their life, including the memories, influence, and the change they have brought about. The concept is tied to the idea of creating a meaningful life and is explored through exercises like writing one's own obituary to help determine one's values and aspirations.

💡Personal Development

Personal development is a key theme in the video, focusing on the growth and betterment of oneself. It is linked to the idea of self-improvement and self-awareness, which are essential for finding direction in life. The speaker discusses their interest in contributing to personal development through their work, indicating its importance in their life's journey.

Highlights

People feel lost in life due to not knowing where they're going, not knowing where they are, or not knowing the path to their destination.

The video series aims to help viewers figure out their life direction by understanding where they're going, where they are, and the path to get there.

The importance of exercises in the video series is to provide clarity on personal desires and life direction, rather than mapping out the entire life.

Successful people also don't have perfect clarity on their life direction, emphasizing that it's normal not to know exactly what to do with your life.

The concept of 'wayfinding' is introduced, which is about figuring out where to go without a clear destination, similar to Christopher Columbus's exploration.

Life is about the journey rather than the destination, but having a general direction helps guide the journey.

Five different methods are presented to help viewers determine their life's direction.

The first method involves brainstorming the service one would like to offer to the world, using prompts like a future TED Talk.

A meaningful life often involves a sense of service, which doesn't have to be world-changing but should resonate personally.

The Talent Service Prompt asks how one would use their talents to serve others if they had all the money and time in the world.

The Funeral Prompt involves imagining what someone impacted by your work would say at your funeral, revealing the kind of impact you wish to have.

Writing down thoughts and answers to the prompts is emphasized as a crucial step in the self-discovery process.

Reducing the effect of fear is key to uncovering one's true desires and aspirations.

The Fearless Dream Prompt asks what one would do if they knew they couldn't fail, encouraging viewers to think beyond fear of failure.

The Deferred Dream Prompt helps uncover dreams that have been put off due to fear, self-doubt, or other obstacles.

The Ideal Tuesday Prompt encourages envisioning a perfect day to clarify what one truly values and desires in life.

The Future Self Prompt asks viewers to imagine what qualities and achievements define their future self after achieving all they've ever wanted.

Using role models to identify admired qualities can help shape one's own aspirations and the kind of person they want to become.

Writing one's own obituary as a method to clarify personal values and the legacy one wishes to leave behind.

The video emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and prompts as tools for finding direction and purpose in life.

Transcripts

okay so why do people feel lost in their

life I think the way we can think of

this is if you imagine you are lost in a

forest you'd be lost if you don't know

where you're trying to go that's reason

number one you'd be lost if you don't

know where you are that's reason number

two and even if you did know where you

are and where you're trying to go you

would still feel lost if you didn't know

the path to getting there so it's kind

of those three things you don't know

where you're going you don't really know

where you are you might not know the

path for getting from A to B now this is

something that so many people struggle

with and so in this minseries of videos

what we're going to be doing is breaking

down exactly how to figure out where

you're going how to figure out where you

are and how to figure out the path of

getting from A to B and what I'm hoping

is that if you do the exercises and

stuff that we're going to be talking

about in this video series you'll kind

of have more of an idea of what you

actually want once you know what you

want like everything else sort of takes

care of itself but I think a lot of us

really struggle with this thing of like

we just actually don't know what we want

and it's so easy to get hung up on this

stuff because when it comes to figuring

out what to do with your life and what

direction your life is going it's easy

to think of it as something that you

need to know with perfect clarity but

trust me at this point I've interviewed

hundreds of like ridiculously successful

people none of them know what they're

doing with their life I've given talks

to thousands of people literally none of

them know what they're doing with their

lives the thing with this is that

finding Clarity and kind of reorienting

to what we want and where we're actually

trying to get to and like how we're

going to get there it's kind of like a

moving Target it's a thing that's always

going to change over time the point

isn't that you need to have your entire

life mapped out none of us have our

entire lives mapped out the point of all

these exercises is really an idea called

wayfinding which is from a book called

designing your life by Bill burner and

Dave Evans which pretty good but way

finding is the process of figuring out

where to go even when you don't have a

clear destination in mind this is sort

of what Christoper Columbus did when he

was like sailing across the Atlantic

Ocean to get to the Americas he was like

I know there is something out there I

don't exactly know where it is and I

don't exactly know what it is but I know

if I sail in a general that way

Direction and keep on taking steps and

keep on sort of adjusting my course to

make sure I'm kind of continuing to sail

in a that way Direction I know something

good will happen and so really all of

this stuff it's not about being fixated

on a destination it's about really kind

of figuring out what is your direction

and recognizing that you can always

change direction in life whenever you

feel like it because life is about the

journey rather than the destination but

thinking about the destination a little

bit ahead of time helps us go on the

right Journey all right so in this video

in particular we're going to go over

five different methods that you can use

to sort of get at this question of like

where are we trying to go then in video

number two what we're going to do is

we're going to look back on our past and

we're going to figure out where we are

and what we can learn from our past

about what we want and where we want to

go and then in video number three what

we're going to do is try and convert

that into a tangible plan so that by the

end of the series hopefully you'll know

where you are you'll know where you're

going and you'll have a vague sense of

how you're going to get from A to B okay

so the first method for figuring out

where you want to go is to brainstorm

what service you would like to offer to

the world now there's a couple of

different ways to think about this and

I'm just going to tell you the sorts of

questions that I like to think about and

then you can kind of try this exercise

and I'd recommend you actually do this

exercise right now while you're watching

the video maybe afterwards here a few

different ways of thinking about what

service you would like to offer to the

world the first one is the future Ted

Talk prompt now for this one I want you

to imagine that you are attending the

Ted conference like the official Ted

conference not Ted X or anything like

the big deal Ted conference you've been

invited you've got a custom invite to

this conference and you and everyone

else in the audience is deeply moved and

inspired by what the speaker is talking

about and the speaker is you but 20

years in the future what are you 20

years from now talking about at the Ted

conference that's inspiring so many

people for for all these exercises don't

overthink it just like think you know

what's the first thing that comes to

mind or the second or the third and you

can write down a few different options

now at this point it's worth saying that

you know again people get hung up by

this idea of service like the reason

we're talking about Service First is

because generally having a kind of

meaningful mission in life and having a

sense of meaning and purpose to your

life involves service in some kind of

way the more you kind of serve yourself

and think oh I want to get rich I want

to get famous I want money all all this

kind of stuff that that's not really the

recipe for a meaning F and fulfilling

life the thing that's a recipe for a

meaningful life is a sense of service

which is why we're thinking about this

Ted talk but the thing about a sense of

service is that it does not have to be

world changing you don't your Ted Talk

does not have to be about how you cured

I don't know cancer or global warming or

things like that it can be if you want

but it would be just as inspiring

perhaps even more so if your Ted Talk

was about how to be a really good parent

or some things that you learned in your

life that help you connect more with the

people around you or how to be a great

father or how to be a great teacher

there's all sorts of ways to provide

service and they don't have to be big

and they don't have to be grandiose for

you to have that sense of meaningful

mission in life now I'm going to share

with you what three of my personal

example TED Talks would be I'm going to

put them on screen now so if you're

interested in Reading you can pause the

video right now and so if you have a

sense of oh I'd like to give a TED talk

about X Y or Z then that's one way of

figuring out in what way you'd like to

be of service to the world and Service

as we talked about is a major component

of having this sense of direction the

sort of north star that we're trying to

get to to figure out what direction we

want to go in life and incidentally one

simple thing that I do that helps me be

a little bit more in control of my life

and reach my full potential is Hu who

are very kindly sponsoring this video

now I've been a paying customer of hu

since 2017 since my fifth year of

medical school and that was actually

when I first started this YouTube

channel so can't believe it's been over

7 years now and I've been eating hu

fairly regularly since then because in

moments where I'm very busy in the day

there's lots of stuff going on and I

don't have time to have a particularly

healthy or nutritious meal heu helps me

save time and also reach my nutrition

goals especially in terms of protein and

they actually have a new bestseller

bundle which is a collection of all of

their bestselling items including the

heel black edition which is my personal

favorite because it's got really high

protein 40 g of protein for 400 calories

and the bundle also has instant meals

nutrition bars and also Daily a toz

vitamin cans which are actually quite

tasty every single healed product

contains 26 different vitamins and

minerals and is 100% vegan as well and

so overall the whole point of heal is

that it makes nutrition easier obviously

it's ideal to have a healthy balanced

meal with Whole Foods and stuff every

single meal of the day but if you have a

particularly busy lifestyle or if you're

sort of on the go quite a lot it's super

useful to be able to have some heuel

instead to know that you've covered your

nutrition bases if you're interested in

checking heel out I've personally

recommended it to so many of my friends

my cupboard is teaming with heel

products cuz I just love them and use

them so much then you can check out the

link in the video description and the

bundle also includes a free t-shirt and

a Shaker for your first order and you

also get with that bundle a guide that

will help you out with your nutrition

and teach you how to use heel in the

best way so thank you so much heel for

sponsoring this video and let's get back

to it so the Ted Talk prompt is one way

of figuring out what kind of service

you'd like to offer to the world another

way of figuring this out is the talent

service prompt and that is that if you

had all of the money and all of the time

in the world how would you use your

talents to serve others now this is

really nice because you know part of

having a meaningful mission is to serve

other people but if we can use our own

strengths and our own skills and our own

talents that's what's going to make the

process of serving people in that way

feel particularly engaging and

energizing for us it's not just about

thinking oh I should for example be a

doctor because that's what you should do

to serve other people it's like I want

to serve people in a way that's also

going to light me up I want to use my

natural talents and we know that when

we're using our natural talents and our

natural skills and our natural strengths

we enjoy our work a lot more and

therefore the path to getting there you

know that whole North Star is going to

be a lot more sustainable and then

option number three again I'm just

giving you multiple different ways of

getting at the same problem because

again like it's it's worth saying that

for for all this stuff there's no right

answer there's no one way of doing this

but what I'm hoping to give you is a

bunch of different prompts and you can

see which ones resonate with you the

most and then as long as just one of

them resonates with you you'll have a

clearer sense of what direction you want

to take in your life and then hopefully

you'll feel less lost and all that fun

stuff but the third prompt is that if

you were to imagine your funeral and at

your funeral various people are talking

about you you know your friends and

family are saying nice things all that

stuff but someone whose life has been

impacted by your work is speaking at

your funeral what is the person saying

like what are they saying is the impact

that your work had on them for me

personally I hope that people will say

my funeral Ali's work impacted my life

because it helped me achieve my

potential or he helped me do more with

my life or realize what what really

mattered to me or helped me build a life

I love when I asked myself that question

a few years ago I realized that

practicing medicine wasn't the thing I

didn't want people at my funeral to say

his work transformed my life because he

did this life-saving operation on me

that no one else could have done and he

saved my life that would appeal to a lot

of people but it didn't really resonate

with me for me being a teacher and

helping people build a life they love

through achieving their potential or

figuring out what they wanted that

appealed to me somehow way more than the

thought of saving someone's life so

again there's no right or wrong answers

here it's just all of these prompts just

help you figure out what is the thing

that resonates authentically with you so

that you can find your own Northstar

rather than necessarily copying what

someone else is doing or like what

Society is telling you you should be

valuing now one thing to say with all of

these exercises is that it's very much

worth writing this stuff down I know

you're watching this on YouTube I know

you're going to be tempted to do it in

your head I know you're going to be

tempted to say oh I'll just do it later

but if you can write write down the

answers to all these things you cannot

solve a complex mathematical equation

without writing it down you cannot build

a bridge or a building without writing

it down this is us trying to figure out

where you want to go with your life this

is a big ass question it's really really

really hard to answer I would even

recommend handwriting it if you can that

would be gold standard it's up to you

but I think writing it down is way way

more valuable than trying to do all of

this stuff in your head okay so method

number two for broadly trying to figure

out where you want to go in life and

figuring out your Northstar is to reduce

the effect of fear now there are so many

of us basically everyone limits their

thinking based on fear it's usually fear

of failure it might be fear of judgment

it might be self-doubt but fundamentally

the emotion of fear is there at its core

and it stops us from thinking about what

we actually want and instead kind of

encourages us to stick within the box of

what we've already done or what Society

tells us to do and so the first prompt

is the Fearless dream prompt which is

basically what would you like to do if

you knew you could not fail just's like

pause the video and really think about

it what would you do if you knew you

couldn't fail and if you're stuck you

might like to think of this in terms of

uh you know one way of categorizing this

is Health work and relationships another

way of categorizing it is just to think

like what would I like to do what would

I like to learn what would I like to try

what would I like to experiment with

what impact would I like to have just

sort of giving your mind like different

ways of like latching onto this question

what would I do if I knew I couldn't

fail if I if I knew I wouldn't fail I

would make my own productivity app

because I think that would be super fun

I'd love to build something that people

use every day to log their tasks or

calendar or whatever that would be sick

I would love to have my own oneman stage

show where I'm doing like a show that I

tour around the world and it's like a

combination of like Darren Brown meets J

Shetty with a bit of like magic and

music and mentalism and like life advice

sprinkled in that would be so sick and I

didn't realize I wanted to do that until

I ask myself that question and now I'm

working towards it cuz I think it's just

a cool thing you know I think it's a

cool thing to do now another cool

adjacent prompt for this is what would

you do even if you knew you would fail

what would you do even if you knew you

would fail so if I knew I would fail

would I still make a productivity app

actually probably not for me you know

there's no point making a productivity

app unless it's going to be a success

but if I knew my one man stage show

would be a commercial failure would I

still do it yeah I actually would cuz I

think the process of creating this one

one man stage show and learning the

tricks and crafting it and doing the

storyboarding and all that stuff I think

that would just be really valuable in

itself rather than for the outcome and

so by asking yourself without question

what would you do even if you knew you

would fail commercially or however else

it's another way of getting at what are

the things that Vibe with you personally

in terms of the process rather than just

the outcome and then prompt number three

for this is the Deferred dream prompt

which goes what's one dream you've

always had but never pursued why is it a

dream for you and what is stopping you

from pursuing it and again this is all

about just reducing the effects of fear

and realizing oh yeah I did have a dream

to I don't know open a coffee shop

someday but what stopped me from

pursuing it was because I don't know how

to run a business like okay let useful

to know what else is a dream that you've

always had but you've not pursued it's

just you know the more we write these

down the more we realize oh yeah and

there's all these things I wanted to do

and then the fact that I'm in this life

circumstance that I'm currently in has

actually stopped me from dreaming big

about these things that I once used to

think about or dream about so all of

these prompts are broadly trying to get

at reducing the effect of fear okay

let's go into method number three but

before we talk about that I just want to

say up front that like there's lots of

prompts here and it would be easy to let

perfect be the enemy of good if you

watch a video like this like you don't

need to answer all 18 of these prompts

that we're going to talk about like

however many there are cuz it's going to

take you days to do that even if you

just answer one or two or three just

like the ones that really internally

resonate with you more the ones that

feel good to answer if you just answer

those I guarantee it will give you more

clarity about where you want to go in

your life let's go into prompt number

three now which is trying to get out

what would your dream life look like and

one of the ways you can do this is the

ideal Tuesday prompt which is what does

your ideal Tuesday look like what are

you doing who are you with how are you

spending your time what makes this day

perfect for you and you can imagine the

ideal Tuesday a year from now or 5 years

from now I like to imagine it a year

from now because one year is like you

know there's enough time but it's also

like feels tangible enough where I can

think hm a year from now I would love my

Tuesday to look like you know waking up

at 7:00 in the morning doing a workout

with friends cuz it's more fun maybe

playing sports in the evening maybe

doing a few hours of deep work maybe

having lunch with someone having dinner

with like the wife and kids what

whatever the situation might be there's

something around trying to design what

does your ideal day look like that

actually again helps us figure out what

are the things we truly value what are

the things we truly want as an extension

of this you might like to ask yourself

the question what does my ideal week

look like and I'll put a video up there

that has more details about the ideal

week method this is my personal favorite

method you like create a new Google

Calendar you call it your ideal week and

you just block out what does your dream

week look like you know when are you

waking up when are you sleeping when are

you doing work what sort of work are you

doing when are you hanging out with

friends when is it date night what time

to spend with the kids or whatever your

life situation is and again it just

gives you a little bit of a sense of

what are the things I truly value at

this point in my life those values are

going to change over time right now I

don't have kids so spending time with

the kids would be a bit weird if it

wasn't my ideal week but at some point

hopefully when I have kids then spending

time with the kids and being present for

the family and stuff is all going to

feature in my ideal week a lot more the

point is it's totally okay for this

stuff to change over time but it's just

like right now it gives us an idea of

what we value authentically within

ourselves and then we have finally the

Future Self prompt which is Imagine

you've achieved everything you've ever

wanted imagine you've achieved

everything you've ever wanted how have

you changed as a person and what

qualities and achievements Define this

future version of yourself all right now

we come to Method number four which is

getting at the issue of what we want

based on other people as role models and

there's a a really good phrase that I

got from my writing coach his name is

aul and he kind of said this to me

whenever I was racked with impostor

syndrome about writing my book which is

now becoming New York Times and Sunday

Times best seller so you can check it

out link down below if you haven't seen

it yet # plug but what a would say to me

whenever I'd be like ah man is I don't

have anything like there there's nothing

I can write in this book that would be

useful to anyone he would tell me you

know Ali you can't read the label from

inside the bottle we are inside our own

bottle but you can't read the label of

that's on the outside of the bottle from

inside you know this whole idea of like

know yourself it's very hard to know

yourself but it's a lot easier to to see

what are the qualities you admire in

other people and that gives you a sense

of like okay that's sort of person I'd

like to be rather than just thinking

what's the sort of person I'd like to be

anyway prompt number one here is who are

the people you most admire and why and

what qualities do they possess that you

wish to emulate and another way of

phrasing this is that if you were to

become an amalgamation of three to five

people that you know or that you know of

who are those people and what would you

want to emulate about them you might say

for example oh I really vibed with Dr

maril Who was my chemistry teacher in

school and I loved how he was so sincere

and also funny and didn't take himself

too seriously you know me personally I

Vibe with a guy called Tim Ferris who

you might have come across I've never

met the guy but maybe one day I will but

at least from his the content and stuff

the books I've read the stuff I've

consumed I Vibe with the fact that he

seems to do what he wants without

worrying so much about like the numbers

and what the audience wants him to do

and he seems to sort of explore

interests that are authentically aligned

to himself without worrying about the

commercial incentives that's really cool

I would love to be able to do that to be

making videos about the things I want to

make rather than the videos about the

things that will do well on the

algorithm and stuff this is an ongoing B

so that's like one small thing about Tim

Ferris that I particularly admire you

can find like these different people in

your life or people that you know of and

you can think huh what do I admire about

this person therefore what's the sort of

person I'd like to become and again that

just gives us a vague sense of like

where is this North Star that we're

trying to work towards and then finally

we have method number five which is to

begin with the end in mind now in method

number one which was the the whole

service thing we talked about imagining

what different people would say at your

funeral what would someone whose life

has been impacted by your work say your

funeral this is a sort of more broad

version of that and the idea here is

that you want to write your own obituary

so an obituary is that thing that's

written about you when you're dead what

would it look like if you wrote wrote

out your own obituary now at this point

I actually want to show you what this

looks like so I ran an annual planning

workshop a couple weeks ago for the

lovely people who pre-ordered my book as

part of our productivity Club more links

in the video description if you want to

check it out and I sort of live coached

Tintin who's one of my team members

through this exercise just to give you

an idea of what it might look like

Tintin let's start with relationships so

what sort of stuff just give me a sense

of what sort of stuff you'd like people

to say about you when you're dead and

I'll just just write it down so I think

there's something around being just with

the people that I love in my life being

present with them when we have

conversations and making them feel like

I'm very interested in them kind of

being like joyful and loving with the

people that I love and being very like

open and expressive and always having an

air of lightness and playfulness and

never never being too serious about life

um and always kind of allowing people to

feel like comfortable and relaxed around

me and

then something probably around around

inspiring the people around me or the

people that I interact with either in my

life or online or whatever to to take

action on things that they want to take

action on yeah inspiring others to like

to do the things that scare them I think

I Vibe with that because I think that's

personally something that I like you

know struggle with myself and always

need encouragement and support to do the

things that scare me so I think I'd like

to do that for other people and I think

tinon was a like great father and a

great grandparent and a good family

member like brother

and a good

son he was always like present and there

he never neglected those things yeah

something along those lines cool what

about in the workf front so work

achievement you know that sort of thing

just a rough first draft I just want to

get a sense of just some options that

would be cool to maybe have in your your

orbitary around like work SL

achievements I think I've known for a

couple years now that the thing I I want

to contribute to is the world of

Education um it's just something that I

I Vibe with like either teaching myself

or

through making changes to the way that

like we educate people in the world

whether they're young or like adult or

whatever so I probably would like people

to say that I made like yeah great

contributions to the world of Education

through writing about it maybe writing

books maybe writing articles doing

public like talks um working with

schools working potentially with like

the government with policy or whatever

around the way that we educate yeah and

something that like contributed to the

to shift in the way that we educate and

maybe stuff more stuff around personal

development as well and the importance

of like all the stuff that we talk about

and that you talk about on your channel

um you know the kind of like the kind of

spreading of of these ideas um and

reforming like parts of uh the education

process now we're not going to bother

writing this out in full because what

we're actually going to do is Chuck it

into chat GPT let's just see what

happens we we've actually never done

this so this is all just like fully life

Fully live we celebrate the remarkable

life of Tinton Smith a figure whose

presence was a great source of joy and

inspiration to all who knew him Tintin a

cherished father grandparent brother and

son passed away surrounded by the love

of his family leaving a legacy of

profound influence and enduring

affection Ton's approach to life was

marked by an unwavering commitment to

being present and deeply engaged with

those he loved his ability to make each

conversation feel significant his

genuine interest in others and his

joyful loving nature were the

Cornerstone of his relationships he was

open expressive and maintained an air of

lightness and playfulness that never

failed to make those around him feel

comfortable and relaxed more than just a

cherished family member Tinton was an

inspiring figure both in real life and

online he had an extraordinary talent

for encouraging others to strive for

more to take action on their dreams and

to bravely face the challenges that

scared them his support and

encouragement were pivotal for many in

pursuing their Ambitions professionally

Tinton was a Visionary in the world of

Education his passion for teaching and

educational reform was not just a career

but a calling he contributed

significantly to the field not only

through his direct teaching but also by

influencing policy and reforming

educational processes his writings

public speeches and collaborations with

Schools and Government bodies reflect a

deep seated commitment to their

revolutionizing how we educate both The

Young and the adults Ton's work in

personal development and education

reform will continue to resonate and

Inspire future Generations his ideas and

actions have left an indelible mark on

the educational landscape championing a

shift towards more effective inclusive

learning methods as we bid farewell to

Tinton Smith we remember a man who lived

with purpose love and a Relentless

Spirit of betterment for himself in the

world around him his legacy will

continue to inspire and guide us in our

Journeys we are all the Richer for

having known him and his memory will

will forever be a beacon of light in our

lives wow so this is something you can

do for yourself you can just write out

these notes Chuck it into chat gbt and

then you can create your own obituary if

you want or you can write it out

yourself if you want and I've done this

exercise many times in the last few

years I find it super helpful for

helping me figure out my North Star and

if you're interested I will I put my the

thing that I've written for my own

obituary in the video description so you

can just have a look and you can check

it out if You' like so we've gone over a

bunch of different methods a bunch of

different journaling prompts I would

just say like to emphasize that a if

you're here in this part of the video

already then amazing kudos to you

because probably only 10% of people who

clicked on this video are actually still

watching it at this point and I really

hope you've been thinking about the

exercises and ideally writing down as

we've as we've been going through the

video but like you you can always do

this in your own time if you would like

if you'd like to put on the video again

and kind of go through it and if you

haven't done this sort of structured

reflection type exercises before it can

seem a bit much these are not the sorts

of questions you would ask at like a

dinner party with like strangers you've

just met unless you were really weird or

you know if you could imagine being back

in high school if you were to ask these

questions you'd be laughed out of the

classroom there because people be like

whoa what's wrong with you kind of thing

but actually so many of us have this

feeling of feeling lost in our life and

feeling like we don't have a sense of

direction feeling like we're pulled in

multiple different directions we don't

really know where we're going and from

all of the reading I've done about this

all of the psychologists and stuff that

I've interviewed and applying all this

to my own life as well I've really

realized that the more we can sit with

these sorts of prompts and just really

try and go within to find the answers

the more likely we are to have that

clear sense of our North Star like

what's the rough Direction I'm aiming

towards and I would just emphasize again

that this is just a rough first draft

it's just a version 0.1 we don't have to

be w to any of these answers you're not

like confined to a career path because

that's what you put out in your answers

to these questions this just a rough

first draft the point of thinking about

all this future stuff is that it gives

us a sense of what do we value in the

here and now which gives us that sense

of where we're going and so this was

episode one in our minseries about how

to kind of figure out what you want how

to figure out what to do with your life

how to be less lost I'm sure series will

have an official title thank you so much

for watching I would love to hear what

you thought of this session in the

comments down below and if you want to

watch episode two of the series which is

all about kind of looking back on the

past and the present to help us figure

out where we are and what we actually

want that video is going to be linked

right over here so thank you so much for

watching have a lovely day and I'll see

you in the next video bye-bye