«Я НЕ ЗНАЮ ЧОГО ХОЧУ» що робити? Наука та психологія наших бажань і цілей. Як віднайти їх знову?

Chernyak Blog

5 Feb 202319:12

Summary

TLDRIn this insightful video, Ukrainian science communicator Ira discusses the common struggle of not knowing what one truly wants in life. She outlines four main reasons for this confusion and offers practical strategies to rediscover one's desires. From identifying suppressed dreams to overcoming fear of making wrong choices, Ira encourages viewers to embark on a journey of self-discovery and experimentation to find genuine interest and direction in life. The video is a call to action for those feeling lost, providing hope and guidance to navigate towards a more fulfilling future.

Takeaways

😀 The speaker, Ira, hosts a science-popularization blog in Ukrainian, discussing how to live a better and happier life using knowledge from various fields like neurobiology, cognitive science, and psychology.
🎓 Ira has previously made videos on how to stop dreaming and start doing, overcoming procrastination, and how to begin living the life you want.
🤔 A common question Ira receives is what to do if you don't know what you want, with the advice often being to 'do what you like' or 'study what you find interesting'.
🧠 The brain is neuroplastic, meaning it changes based on experience, and behaviors that are frequently used become ingrained, while those that are not fade away.
👶 If from childhood you were made to ignore your own desires and follow others' wishes, your brain may have learned not to want anything, essentially 'turning off' this function.
📝 To reignite desires, one should identify several wishes, start doing them, and show the brain that wanting things is functional again.
📋 Ira suggests making a list of 20 different activities you enjoyed in the past to find out what you might want to do now.
🚫 Another method is to list what you definitely do not want in life, which can help clarify by reverse what you might want.
🤩 Jealousy can indicate your true desires and needs; understanding why you feel envious can point you towards what you genuinely want to achieve.
🔍 Observing others and identifying why you admire them can also reveal your own aspirations and help you understand what you want for yourself.
💡 The final step is to select the top 5 most desired activities from your list and try them out to see which truly spark your interest and feel like a good fit.
🛡 Suppression, a psychological defense mechanism, can prevent you from acknowledging your desires, often due to fear of failure or judgment from others.
🏆 Overcoming fear of making the wrong choice involves understanding that it's okay to make mistakes and that others also change their minds and paths frequently.
🗺️ Life is a process of exploration and experimentation, similar to exploring a foggy map in a game, where you must try different paths to find where you want to go.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video script?
-The main topic of the video script is about understanding why people sometimes don't know what they want in life and how to deal with this uncertainty.
Who is the speaker of the video script?
-The speaker of the video script is a person named Ira, who hosts a popular science blog in Ukrainian, discussing how to live a better and happier life using knowledge from various fields such as neurobiology, cognitive science, and psychology.
What are the four main reasons mentioned in the script that people might not know what they want?
-The script does not explicitly list the four main reasons in the provided transcript, but it suggests that there are four main reasons related to why people might not understand what they want, which are likely related to psychological and personal development factors.
What does the speaker suggest as a method to rediscover one's desires?
-The speaker suggests finding a few desires that one has and starting to act on them to show the brain that wanting something is functional again. This could involve making a list of 20 different activities one enjoyed in the past and trying out a few of them.
How does the speaker describe the process of the brain adapting to experiences and behaviors?
-The speaker describes the brain as neuroplastic, meaning it changes based on experiences and behaviors. The most frequently used behaviors become ingrained in the brain and turn into automatic patterns, while neural connections for behaviors that are not used weaken over time.
What is the significance of the speaker's mention of 'neurotransmitters' in the context of the script?
-The term 'neurotransmitters' is not explicitly mentioned in the provided transcript. However, the concept of neural connections and brain plasticity implies that neurotransmitters play a role in how the brain forms and reinforces patterns of behavior.
What advice does the speaker give for people who are unsure of their desires due to a job that is not their dream job?
-The speaker advises such individuals to find a few desires and start working on them to show their brain that wanting something is functional again. They should also consider what they do not want in life and write down the opposite to clarify their true desires.
How does the speaker address the issue of people suppressing their desires due to fear?
-The speaker acknowledges that suppression of desires is a protective psychological reaction to maintain self-esteem. They suggest recognizing and admitting these suppressed desires and finding a supportive info field and people to help move towards these desires.
What is the speaker's view on the fear of making mistakes and its impact on understanding one's desires?
-The speaker believes that the fear of making mistakes and the belief that it could ruin one's life is a misconception. They encourage viewers to allow themselves to make mistakes and try different things to find out what they truly want.
What is the speaker's analogy for understanding one's desires in life?
-The speaker uses the analogy of a character in a video game with an unexplored map to illustrate the idea that one must explore and experiment to understand where they want to go in life.
What are the stages of change mentioned in the script, and what does the speaker say about the viewer's current position in this process?
-The stages of change mentioned are: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. The speaker suggests that by watching the video, the viewer is already in the preparation stage, halfway through the process of understanding what they want.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Discovering Personal Desires

The speaker, Ira, introduces the topic of understanding and discovering one's desires in life. She addresses the common issue of people not knowing what they want and suggests that it's a widespread concern. Ira proposes that the audience reflect on their past experiences and interests to reignite their desires. She emphasizes the importance of identifying and pursuing what truly makes one happy and offers a structured approach to rediscover one's aspirations.

05:00

🚫 Overcoming Life's Unwanted Aspects

In this paragraph, Ira discusses the importance of recognizing what one does not want in life. She advises the audience to list out aspects of life they wish to avoid, both in the near and distant future, as well as jobs they are certain they do not want. Ira suggests using the opposite of these unwanted elements to identify what one truly desires. She also recommends observing others whom one envies and understanding the underlying desires that these emotions reveal, as a way to uncover one's own aspirations.

10:02

🌟 Embracing Envy and Finding Support

Ira explores the concept of envy as a tool for self-discovery, explaining that it can indicate unfulfilled desires. She encourages the audience to use this emotion constructively to identify their true goals. Furthermore, Ira talks about the power of community and support networks, recommending that people seek out like-minded individuals who share their interests and aspirations. She mentions the benefits of engaging in online communities and learning from others' experiences, as well as the importance of taking the first step towards one's goals.

15:02

🛑 Fear of Failure and the Importance of Trying

The speaker addresses the fear of making wrong decisions and the belief that these could ruin one's life. Ira counters this by presenting statistics that show people frequently change their career paths and that it's a normal part of life. She encourages the audience to allow themselves the freedom to make mistakes, emphasizing that uncertainty is a natural part of the journey towards self-discovery. Ira likens life to an unexplored map in a video game, suggesting that one must explore and experiment to find their path, and she concludes by reminding the audience that they are already halfway through the process of self-discovery.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Neuroplasticity

Neuroplasticity refers to the brain's ability to change and adapt as a result of experience. In the context of the video, it is mentioned as the reason why the brain may start to ignore personal desires if one consistently follows the desires of others or circumstances, leading to a habitual behavior that suppresses one's own wants.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity in the video is about being true to oneself and one's desires. It is the state of being genuine and not suppressing one's true feelings, thoughts, and desires. The video suggests that people often suppress their authentic selves due to societal pressures or fear of failure, which can lead to a lack of clarity about what they truly want in life.

💡Procrastination

Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks or actions. The video mentions a previous video about overcoming procrastination, indicating that it is a common issue that prevents people from pursuing what they truly want to do, thus affecting their ability to live a more fulfilling life.

💡Desire

Desire in this video script represents the internal longing or wish for something. It is a central theme as the video discusses how people often lose touch with their desires due to various reasons, such as societal expectations or fear, and how rediscovering these desires can help in leading a happier and more meaningful life.

💡Suppression

Suppression is the act of holding back or preventing the expression of one's feelings, thoughts, or desires. The video talks about how people suppress their desires due to fear of failure or judgment, which can lead to a state of apathy or confusion about what they truly want.

💡Fear of Mistakes

Fear of mistakes is the apprehension of making wrong decisions that could negatively impact one's life. The video script addresses this fear as a barrier to understanding and pursuing one's true desires, suggesting that the fear of making the 'wrong' choice can paralyze individuals from taking action towards their goals.

💡Self-actualization

Self-actualization is the drive to realize one's full potential and become the most that one can be. The video encourages viewers to overcome the fear of acknowledging their desires and to work towards self-actualization by pursuing what they truly want, despite societal pressures or the fear of failure.

💡Defensive Mechanisms

Defensive mechanisms are psychological strategies that protect a person from anxiety, stress, or harm. The video mentions these as potential barriers to understanding one's desires, such as denial or projection, which can prevent individuals from acknowledging their true feelings and needs.

💡Passion

Passion in the video refers to a strong emotional connection or enthusiasm for something. It is linked to the concept of desire, where rediscovering one's passions can help clarify what one truly wants in life and provide motivation to pursue those interests.

💡Fear of Acknowledging Desires

Fear of acknowledging desires is the apprehension of recognizing and accepting one's true wishes or longings. The video discusses this fear as a protective reaction that arises from the potential pain of admitting to oneself that one might not achieve their desires, which can be emotionally distressing.

💡Experimentation

Experimentation in the context of the video is the process of trying out different activities or paths to discover what one enjoys and is passionate about. It is presented as a crucial step in the journey of self-discovery and aligning one's actions with their true desires.

Highlights

The speaker, Ira, discusses the importance of understanding desires and how to live a better and happier life through knowledge from various sciences.

Ira has previously made videos on overcoming procrastination and starting to take action towards the life one desires.

A common question addressed is what to do when one doesn't know what they want, suggesting to do what one likes or study a field of interest.

The video aims to explain why people end up not understanding what they want and how to deal with it, offering four main reasons and solutions.

One reason is that people have always done what others dictated, leading to a habit of ignoring one's own desires.

The brain's neuroplasticity is highlighted, showing how frequently used behaviors become ingrained, while unused neural connections weaken.

A suggestion to retrain the brain to want things again by finding and acting on desires, such as making a list of 20 different activities one enjoyed.

Another reason is the fear of acknowledging one's desires due to past suppression, like being told that certain professions are not prestigious.

The importance of unearthing and acknowledging suppressed desires, and seeking a supportive info field and community, is emphasized.

The third method involves identifying life aspects one definitely does not want, to understand better what one truly desires.

The fourth method is observing who one envies and why, as envy can indicate unfulfilled desires and needs.

The process of selecting the top five desires from the list and trying them out is recommended to find genuine interest.

The fear of mistakes and the belief that they can ruin one's life is discussed as a barrier to understanding one's desires.

Statistics are cited to show that changing careers and education paths is common, indicating that uncertainty is normal.

The video encourages viewers to allow themselves to make mistakes and explore different paths to find their true desires.

The concept of defensive mechanisms in psychology that may prevent one from understanding their desires, such as denial or projection, is introduced.

The final point discusses the importance of overcoming fear of mistakes and the need to explore and experiment to find one's path.

The video concludes by summarizing the reasons and methods for understanding one's desires, emphasizing the process of experimentation.