Parents of Children with Special Needs Have Needs, Too | Debra Vines | TEDxOakParkSalon

Summary

The speaker shares a deeply personal story about unexpectedly becoming pregnant with a high-risk child, leading to the birth of Jason, who was later diagnosed with autism. The challenges of raising a special needs child, compounded by isolation, mental health struggles, and a battle with addiction, are described. Through determination and rehabilitation, the speaker transforms their life, finding purpose in supporting other parents of special needs children. They started an organization to offer resources and empowerment, with the hope of sparking conversations and improving the lives of families facing similar challenges.

Takeaways

• 👩‍👦 Unexpected pregnancy with complications significantly changed the speaker's life and career ambitions.
• 🏥 The pregnancy was high-risk, and the child, Jason, was born prematurely at 24 weeks with developmental challenges.
• 😔 The speaker struggled with postpartum depression and felt isolated while managing Jason's health needs.
• 🧠 Jason was diagnosed with autism at 18 months, leading to uncertainty about his future and behaviors.
• 💔 The emotional toll of raising a child with special needs led to drug addiction as a way to cope with the overwhelming stress.
• 💊 The speaker's addiction led to financial ruin, legal troubles, and further isolation from friends and family.
• 🔄 Despite her addiction, the speaker remained a functioning mother but realized she needed to change after multiple arrests.
• 💪 Rehab became a turning point for the speaker, motivating her to heal for herself and her family.
• 👨‍👦 Jason's personal growth and milestones inspired the speaker to embrace her own healing and strength.
• 🤝 The speaker founded an organization to support other parents of children with special needs, aiming to provide the resources and answers that she once sought.

Q & A

What major life change did the speaker experience after her first child?

The speaker unexpectedly became pregnant with her second child, which was a high-risk pregnancy and disrupted her previously ideal life.

What health issues did the speaker's second child, Jason, face after birth?

Jason was born prematurely at 24 weeks, weighing 2 pounds and 2 ounces. He remained in the hospital for three months and was later diagnosed with autism at 18 months.

How did the speaker initially react to raising a child with special needs?

The speaker felt overwhelmed, isolated, and struggled with mental health challenges. She turned to drugs, including cocaine, to cope with the stress and lack of support.

How did Jason's autism diagnosis affect the family’s understanding of his condition?

At the time of Jason's birth in the 1980s, little was known about autism. The family had few resources and knowledge about the condition, making them feel uncertain and overwhelmed.

How did the speaker’s drug addiction impact her ability to care for Jason?

The speaker became a functioning addict, which led to financial problems, guilt, and occasional jail time. Her addiction made it harder for her to help Jason while also struggling with her own issues.

What role did Jason’s milestones in his development play in the speaker's recovery?

Witnessing Jason's determination to achieve developmental milestones motivated the speaker to recover from her addiction and strengthen herself as both a mother and individual.

What resources did the speaker create to help other parents of special needs children?

The speaker started an organization called 'Answering' to provide resources, support, and peer events for parents of special needs children. The group aims to empower both parents and individuals with disabilities.

What was the speaker's personal epiphany regarding her journey as a mother of a special needs child?

The speaker realized that raising Jason had revealed her life’s mission: to provide support and answers to other parents of special needs children, helping them avoid the struggles she faced.

How has the understanding of autism changed since Jason was born?

Autism was once believed to affect 1 in 10,000 people, and little was known about the autism spectrum. Today, the condition is better understood, impacting 1 in 54 children, but traditional parenting resources still don’t fully address the needs of parents with autistic children.

What message does the speaker hope to convey through her story?

The speaker hopes to ignite conversations and provide support for families raising children with special needs, ensuring they can live enriched and happy lives despite the challenges.