How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say (ever)
Summary
TLDRThe video discusses how to handle awkward silences and keep conversations flowing, particularly in social or romantic situations. It emphasizes the importance of practicing real conversations to improve communication skills. Key tips include asking genuine questions, taking an interest in the other person's responses, and confidently ending conversations when needed. Passion and presence are highlighted as crucial elements for engaging interactions. The speaker encourages viewers to embrace discomfort, practice often, and trust in their value as individuals, ultimately becoming better communicators through experience and confidence.
Takeaways
- đ Conversations can be awkward, especially when you're left alone with someone new, but there's a way to handle it smoothly.
- đ Don't rely on canned responses; they often sound unnatural and come across like an NPC in a game.
- đĄ The key to improving conversational skills is repetitionâpractice in real-life situations, not just by watching videos or following scripts.
- đ Boring questions like 'How's your day?' or 'What have you been up to?' are okay if you follow up with genuine interest and build upon their response.
- đ Ask questions that you're genuinely curious about, such as 'Where do you work out?' or 'How's your experience been here?' to keep the conversation flowing naturally.
- â Don't let the conversation linger if it gets awkward; make a confident exit when necessary, especially in casual encounters.
- đŻ Dates signify a level of mutual interest, so use this opportunity to keep the conversation going with genuine passion and curiosity.
- đ„ Passion is key when talking about any topicâpeople are naturally drawn to those who speak with enthusiasm and energy.
- đȘ Conversation is a learned skill; you'll likely struggle at first, but practice will help you get better over time.
- đ Believe in your value, and don't psyche yourself outâapproach every interaction with confidence, knowing you're improving and growing.
Q & A
What is the main issue being addressed in the video?
-The main issue addressed in the video is the challenge of running out of things to say in conversations, especially in social situations with new people, such as talking to a girl or during other potentially awkward encounters.
What is the speaker's solution to handling awkward pauses in conversation?
-The speaker's solution is to practice conversations frequently and focus on asking genuine questions, taking a real interest in what the other person says, and building on their responses. The speaker emphasizes repetition and getting 'reps in' to become comfortable in conversations.
Why does the speaker discourage using canned or scripted lines?
-The speaker discourages using canned or scripted lines because conversations are unpredictable, and using rehearsed responses can make interactions feel unnatural and robotic. Authenticity and adaptability are key to keeping conversations flowing.
What does the speaker mean by 'human variability' in conversations?
-By 'human variability,' the speaker refers to the unpredictable nature of human responses. Different people react differently to the same question or situation, so it's important to be flexible and adapt in real-time rather than relying on pre-planned lines.
What are some example questions the speaker suggests using in conversations?
-The speaker suggests simple but effective questions like 'Howâs your day going?' or 'What have you been up to today?' These questions open up opportunities to continue the conversation by commenting on their responses or sharing your own experiences.
How does the speaker suggest handling moments when the conversation dries up?
-The speaker recommends making a 'clean, confident break' if the conversation becomes too dry, rather than letting awkwardness build. For instance, one could exit the conversation politely by saying something like, 'I have to run, but it was nice meeting you.'
What is the role of passion in conversations according to the speaker?
-The speaker emphasizes that passion plays a crucial role in making conversations engaging. Speaking with passion about things you genuinely care about helps maintain interest and create a more dynamic and enjoyable interaction.
Why does the speaker compare learning conversation skills to NBA players practicing shots?
-The speaker uses the NBA analogy to highlight that while itâs easy to perform when no pressure is involved (like practicing shots in a gym), the real challenge comes when facing real-life, high-pressure situations. Similarly, conversation skills are best developed through real-life practice under varying circumstances.
What mindset does the speaker encourage when approaching conversations?
-The speaker encourages a mindset of confidence and self-worth. They remind viewers that they are valuable individuals working on improving themselves and should not feel inferior or unworthy when talking to others, including in romantic or social settings.
How does the speaker suggest building on someone's response in a conversation?
-The speaker suggests commenting on or asking follow-up questions about the person's response. For example, if someone mentions going for a run, you could comment on your own preferences for running or ask about their favorite places to run.
Outlines
đŹ Navigating Awkward Conversations with Confidence
The speaker describes a common scenario: being left alone with a girl at an event and running out of things to say. He explains how the conversation can become awkward and how many men tend to rely on unengaging questions, leading to a dry exchange. The solution to these situations, according to the speaker, is practiceâgetting real-life conversation experience. The speaker emphasizes that no one is naturally charismatic and skilled at conversation without repeated practice and that there's no simple formula to follow due to the unpredictability of human interactions.
đ Mastering Conversation Through Practice and Reps
Building on the idea of practicing conversations, the speaker stresses the importance of repetition, comparing it to athletes who practice shooting under pressure in the NBA Finals. He dismisses the idea that watching YouTube videos on pickup lines or conversation tactics will magically make someone successful in real-life conversations. Instead, he encourages the audience to get real-world experience, explaining that practice in different social settings helps develop the ability to adapt to the unpredictability of conversations.
đŻ Use Boring Questions to Start Engaging Conversations
The speaker provides practical advice on handling conversations: it's okay to start with simple, even boring, questions. He suggests asking how someoneâs day has been or what theyâve been up to. These questions help break the ice and provide opportunities to build on the conversation by taking an interest in what the other person says. The key is to follow up with relatable comments or observations, even if the subject matter seems mundane. This approach keeps the conversation natural and engaging.
â Ask What You Really Want to Know
Another crucial point made by the speaker is that questions should come from genuine curiosity. Instead of asking random questions, ask things you're truly interested in knowing. For example, if the person talks about working out, ask them where they work out and express real interest. The speaker also provides a useful fallback question, 'How's your experience with that?'âa versatile question that allows the other person to expand on almost any topic. This question encourages deeper responses and helps avoid awkward pauses.
đȘ Know When to End the Conversation Gracefully
The speaker advises that when the conversation dries up, itâs okay to make a smooth exit. Donât force the interaction to continue or allow the awkwardness to build. For casual interactions, like meeting someone for the first time on the street, he suggests confidently ending the conversation by saying you have to leave but offering to exchange social media info. In more formal settings, like a date, the speaker emphasizes that dates carry higher stakes, but you should still focus on building on what the other person says and speaking about things you're passionate about.
đ„ Speak with Passion to Keep the Conversation Alive
The speaker highlights the importance of speaking with passion, explaining that passion makes conversations engaging and draws people in. He notes that even on platforms like YouTube, success often stems from showing passion rather than relying solely on editing or content. This same principle applies to conversationsâenthusiasm and genuine interest in what you're discussing will captivate the other person and keep the dialogue flowing naturally. Passion and confidence go hand in hand when communicating effectively.
đ Embrace the Learning Process and Keep Improving
Concluding the video, the speaker reminds the audience that learning how to communicate effectively is a gradual process, akin to improving a skill like meditating or shooting free throws. No one starts as an expert, and initial awkwardness is part of the journey. The pressure of real conversations helps people grow, and he encourages viewers to embrace challenges, persist through mistakes, and focus on self-improvement. Ultimately, itâs about having confidence, enjoying the process, and realizing that conversations are a normal part of life.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄConversation
đĄRepetition
đĄAwkward silence
đĄBoring questions
đĄBuilding upon responses
đĄPassion
đĄCold approach
đĄPractice
đĄChemistry
đĄConfidence
Highlights
The importance of not running out of things to say in conversations, especially with new people.
The challenge of keeping a conversation going when a friend leaves you alone with someone new.
The necessity of practicing conversation skills to handle various social situations.
The unpredictability of human interaction and how it affects conversation flow.
Avoiding sounding like an NPC by showing genuine interest in the conversation.
The analogy of NBA players practicing to improve their performance under pressure.
The first fundamental pillar: it's okay to ask boring questions as long as they lead to further conversation.
The technique of asking open-ended questions to encourage elaboration from the other person.
The importance of asking questions you genuinely want to know the answer to.
Using the phrase 'how's your experience with that' to open up conversational avenues.
Knowing when to gracefully exit a conversation to avoid awkward silences.
The significance of passion in conversation and how it can make a connection more engaging.
The idea that conversation skills are developed over time, similar to learning a new sport.
The advice to relax and embrace the natural flow of conversation.
The reminder that conversations are a normal part of human interaction and should not be feared.
The encouragement to approach conversations with confidence and value your own worth.
Transcripts
all right stay with me here let me know
if you've been in a position like this
so you're at some sort of event you and
your friend right and your friend
introduces you to a cute girl that he
knows and you're talking chatting [Â __Â ]
it's going good but then your friend
says oh I just need to run to the
bathroom real quick you're on your own
with this cutie you're sitting there the
conversation is dry there's stagnation
there's a pause you're thinking what do
I say next the girl doesn't know what to
say either you're thinking does she even
care does she even trying and you're
scrambling reaching for something to say
you say what do you like to do for fun
there you go not bad she replies and
then you're stifled again what do you
say you have officially ran out of
things to say yes we have all been there
before I've been there countless times
as well but don't worry because I got
you I'm going to equip you with the
skills on how to handle these situations
so that you never ever run out of things
to say with a girl with you know your
girlfriend's parents with your boss
co-workers whatever it will no longer be
an
issue now I wish I could just say you
just say this and then she'll say this
and you say this and then you say this
and then this will happen and then that
will happen and then you'll get the
number everything will be fine and dandy
and then you're done right no doesn't
work like that cuz there's just way too
much human variability meaning you can't
expect what's going to happen one person
might say this in response whereas
someone else will say something totally
different you never know what direction
the conversation's going to go you could
ask a girl how was your day and which is
pretty good and she'll just give you two
or three word answers and not ask you
what about you in return and that might
throw you totally off your game you just
sound like an NPC where you're just
ending up interviewing her and she can
tell that you don't really even give a
[Â __Â ] you're just trying to fill up the
time with things that might sound kind
of normal in a conversation but really
don't seem natural at all you know um
what do you like to do uh are you from
here um do you go to school uh do you
like Netflix you know no it sounds like
MPC it sounds like if you chat GPT how
to have a conversation and then it's
using your mouth as the output so don't
do that we want to be aing human in the
digital age this is how you stand out
and how do you do that well I'm sorry
but the answer is pretty simple and that
is repetition you got to get in there
and get your reps in go practice
conversation go have those hard
conversations with girls you got to
approach them and just be in the
trenches and make it out of the other
side Victorious this is how every guy
that's good at conversating
communicating with women or whoever how
they get good at it no one was just born
you know Rico Suave with the Charisma of
d007 right out of the womb no it doesn't
happen it's like you know in the NBA you
can see the guys in the YouTube videos
they're out at the shoot around and
they're making every single shot yeah
anybody can do that that's like you know
these canned responses that you hear
about in other YouTube videos but then
once those same guys are out under the
bright lights of the NBA Finals they're
[Â __Â ] bricking every shot cuz it's
just way different it's real [Â __Â ] it's
not YouTube anymore it's not you
watching your favorite YouTuber telling
you these 10 best pickup lines in this
[Â __Â ] cuz once you're in there you're in
the conversation in real life anything
can happen you're in the trenches baby
so you need to get the Reps in so you
can handle everything but don't think I
made this video and got you to click on
it without having some fundamental you
know solid advice for you how to handle
conversations so here is my best
fundamental pillars for you first pillar
is boring questions are okay one of my
go-tos is just you say how's your day
going and they have to say something and
then you just take actual real interest
into it and then just follow up oh nice
sounds like a good day so far i' just
been kind of like hanging out um I meant
to go on a run but blah blah blah blah
blah and then they'll say something to
that or another one that I say all the
time is just oh hey how's it going nice
to meet you blah blah blah what have you
been up to today there's no Escape in
that they have to tell you what they've
been up to whether it's something boring
or something exciting you just take that
and then you make a comment and build
upon that you say oh yeah you know that
sounds like a nice lazy day I need to
have a nice chill day I've just been go
go go for the past like four weeks and
then take it from there another example
a girl says oh yeah I went for a run
around the reservoir oh cool I actually
prefer running on a treadmill is that
crazy I don't know I maybe I just like
consistency or something you just make
an observation about what they said and
you just kind of like Riff on it I don't
know there's no better way to explain it
than you need to just practice and get
good at it next pillar ask what you
actually want to know so at some point
you're probably going to have to ask a
question unless she's just really doing
all the talking and it's just just going
amazing it's okay to ask her something
but if you actually care about it oh are
you from around here it's cool it's fine
it's a good thing to know if she's from
around here then it reveals a lot about
The Narrative of how this relationship
is going to go is it going to be long
distance if it ends up getting there or
can we just see each other on a whim
whenever as you get better you'll find
that you can pretty much comment back
upon whatever they say if they say oh
yeah I just worked out you say oh cool
where do you work out at I just moved
here I don't know any good gyms around
here you know whatever but if you find
that you can't build upon what they say
you just say oh how was your experience
with that that is a gold mine right that
one down how's your experience been so
far here in la oh I'm from Alaska W how
was your your experience with that you
just open up a whole realm where they
can take in any direction and then they
can say a myriad of different things
that you can latch on to and then Branch
off of how's your experience with that
write that one down now there's probably
going to be a time that comes when the
conversation gets a little bit dry
especially if you just met this person
you're kind of struggling to think of
something to say I recommend get
out don't make it be this awkward thing
where she's trying to think of has
something to say you're trying to think
of something to say and it's the
tension's building and she's wondering
oh is he just going to make let this
linger or Escape kind of like I just did
just now that lingered too long I think
let it run its natural pace and just
have a clean confident break all right
well I got to run so I'll catch you
later maybe I'll grab your Instagram is
that cool this is great especially with
cold approaches or if you just met you
know on the street or at an event or
something but obviously this isn't
always the case if you're on a date
you're stuck there you're kind of forced
to keep talking but that's that's why
it's kind of a big deal if a girl agreed
to go on a date with you this means she
probably likes you quite a bit because
you risk a huge possibility going on a
date with somebody a huge risk that
there's going to be super awkward
moments and that you're not going to
Jive or have chemistry so that's why
it's a big deal and you need to
capitalize on the dates so this is where
do your best to keep the conversation
going build upon what she said add what
you can and then ask things that you
genuinely are passionate about and want
to know passion is super duper important
so when you speak speak with passion you
see anybody can be a popular YouTuber
this is going off on a little side ramp
but people think oh it's the personality
that makes a a great famous YouTuber oh
no it's the editing oh it's the content
or it's the blah blah blah blah blah no
all it really takes to be a famous big
well-known YouTuber is being passionate
about what you talk about because
there's an intrinsic value that people
pick up on which they love it lights A
Fire Within them when they see something
body who speaks with passion so enjoy
the moment enjoy the presence and speak
with passion oh wow that's so cool I've
never been there oh yeah I'd love to try
that gym we should go sometime you can
put me through your booty workout I
don't know so all this to say relax
you're probably going to suck for a
while it's a learned skill just like
meditating or hitting a free throw no
one's going to be perfect their first
time you're going to have to pull
yourself through the trenches and crawl
to the top but it's the pressure that
makes a diamond so embrace it get your
reps in and just be passionate and have
fun and enjoy it and just remind
yourself it's just two adults talking
this is what we're here for this is
normal real life and what we're supposed
to be doing too many guys doubt
themselves and they think oh I'm not
good enough to be talking to you or
you're above me I'm below you and they
psych themselves out to where they feel
like they are inferior you're not I
promise you you're here watching this
video because you're definitely a man
with enough value that you take interest
in these things and you are working to
become awesome so that's dope and act
like it when you're in these
interactions good luck Padawan see you
in the next video peace
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