Connecting With Your Family | Emily Dean | TEDxYouth@MBJH
Summary
TLDRThe speaker reflects on the importance of family connections, sharing personal experiences about how family gatherings and traditions have shaped their life. Despite the challenges posed by the pandemic, which disrupted face-to-face interactions, the speaker emphasizes the need to maintain meaningful connections through calls, letters, and virtual meetings. They highlight the value of family history, advice shared during family dinners, and the lasting impact of close relationships. The talk encourages others to nurture deep connections with extended family, emphasizing the lifelong benefits of strong familial bonds.
Takeaways
- 👨👩👧👦 Family connections are crucial for emotional support and maintaining a sense of belonging.
- 📉 A significant portion of Americans have experienced family estrangement, with 27% not in contact with extended family.
- 💬 Regular communication, whether through phone calls or video chats like FaceTime, strengthens family bonds.
- 🏠 Family gatherings and traditions, such as annual trips and visits, help create lasting memories and maintain connections.
- 🌐 The pandemic disrupted family gatherings, highlighting the importance of finding alternative ways to stay connected.
- ✉️ Writing letters can be a meaningful way to strengthen relationships and feel more connected to loved ones.
- 🍽️ Family dinners serve as an essential time for communication, sharing stories, and passing down family histories.
- 📚 Knowing and sharing family history helps preserve the legacy and strengthens family identity for future generations.
- 🧠 Conversations around the dinner table often lead to valuable advice and wisdom from family members.
- 🤝 Building meaningful, deep connections with family members can lead to stronger relationships and support systems in life.
Q & A
What prompted the family to take a trip to Asheville, North Carolina?
-The family decided to take a trip to Asheville, North Carolina after the grandmother's funeral in 2015 to spend time together and recover from the difficult few weeks they had just experienced.
What does the speaker mention about family estrangement statistics in the U.S.?
-The speaker cites statistics from Carl Pillemer's 'Fault Lines,' stating that 40% of Americans have been estranged from their extended family at least once, and currently, 27% of Americans do not have contact with any extended family.
How does the speaker feel about their connection with extended family?
-The speaker values their close relationship with extended family, emphasizing that their life would be very different without those connections.
What role does Uncle Bob play in the speaker’s life?
-Uncle Bob, who lives in Knoxville, Tennessee, calls the speaker every few days and has recently learned to use FaceTime. They talk about school, grades, and even what type of ice cream they'll have for dessert, with these conversations being cherished by the speaker.
How has the pandemic affected the speaker’s family gatherings?
-The pandemic put a pause on the family’s ability to gather in person, making it difficult to maintain their usual family traditions like Fourth of July and Thanksgiving trips, playing bocce ball, or chatting over coffee.
How did the speaker and their family maintain communication during the pandemic?
-During the pandemic, the family resorted to other forms of communication, such as FaceTime calls and writing letters, to stay connected when they couldn’t gather in person.
Why does the speaker value writing letters over sending texts?
-The speaker believes that writing letters takes more time and feels more meaningful than sending a text message. It helped them strengthen their connections with loved ones during the pandemic.
How does the speaker view family dinners, and why are they important?
-The speaker views family dinners as essential for communication, learning conversation skills, and passing down family histories. It’s during these dinners that family stories are shared, and wisdom is passed down to younger generations.
What family history does the speaker learn about during family conversations?
-The speaker shares a family history of their great-grandmother, who lost her parents and brother in a train crash in 1917. This tragedy left her with only her sister, and she passed down the lessons learned from this experience to future generations.
What message does the speaker emphasize about maintaining family connections?
-The speaker emphasizes the importance of making meaningful and deep connections with family, not just through casual texts or social media but through intentional communication, such as phone calls or face-to-face interactions.
Outlines
💔 Family Loss and a Memorable Trip
The speaker recounts the emotional experience of losing their grandmother in 2015. After the funeral, their family decided to take a trip to Asheville, North Carolina, to come together and cope with the stress of the previous weeks. This trip ended up leaving a lasting impression on the speaker’s life.
👨👩👧👦 Importance of Family Connections
The speaker emphasizes the significance of staying close to extended family. Citing a statistic from Carl Pillimer’s book *Fault Lines*, they reveal that 40% of Americans have experienced family estrangement, while 27% no longer have contact with extended relatives. The speaker reflects on their own relationship with family members, including frequent calls from Uncle Bob and visits to Aunt Caroline, underscoring the deep connections they maintain.
🍦 Family Bonding through Everyday Conversations
The speaker shares fond memories of regular FaceTime calls with Uncle Bob, who often inquires about their studies and daily life. These seemingly simple conversations, ranging from school updates to favorite ice cream flavors, have become cherished moments in the speaker’s life, representing the lasting impact of family bonds.
🏡 A Second Home at Aunt Caroline’s
Though Aunt Caroline lives in a different city, the speaker and their family visit often, making her house feel like a second home. These visits are treasured occasions where they reunite with cousins over dinner, and they emphasize the family’s effort to protect and prioritize their time together despite the challenges of life.
🏖️ Family Traditions and Annual Trips
The speaker describes how annual trips to Hilton Head Island and Asheville, North Carolina, during the Fourth of July and Thanksgiving are some of their most cherished days. These trips involve playing bocce ball, competitive football, chatting over coffee, and taking hikes, all of which strengthen family ties and create lasting memories.
😷 The Impact of the Pandemic on Family Gatherings
The pandemic temporarily paused the speaker's ability to spend time with their family, creating uncertainty about gathering in groups, hugging, and even seeing each other’s smiles behind masks. The speaker reflects on how the pandemic made them feel disconnected and missing a part of themselves, underscoring the importance of physical presence for family bonding.
👥 Family as a Support System During Tough Times
The speaker reflects on the importance of family during uncertain and celebratory times, as well as for preserving family history. They highlight how meaningful family relationships can vanish if not nurtured, and the various ways families can stay connected—through calls, letters, and visits, even when physically distant.
📞 Staying Connected Virtually
The speaker discusses the growing importance of virtual connections, especially during the pandemic. They share personal experiences of strengthening their bond with cousins via FaceTime, showing how even casual calls can lead to deep and meaningful relationships.
✉️ The Power of Letter Writing
During the pandemic, the speaker started writing letters to those closest to them, finding that this practice deepened their relationships. While writing letters took more time than texting, it felt purposeful and strengthened bonds in a way that digital communication could not.
🍽️ The Importance of Family Dinners
The speaker reflects on the value of family dinners as a key way to communicate and pass down family history. They emphasize how these gatherings teach communication skills and help preserve stories and traditions from previous generations, like their great-grandmother’s life lessons, which have been passed down to them.
🎙️ Gaining Wisdom from Family Conversations
Conversations at the dinner table have provided the speaker with valuable advice and guidance. They recall a time when their family helped alleviate stress about school, demonstrating how family support can redirect and resolve personal challenges.
🌱 Instilling Family Values in Future Generations
The speaker emphasizes the need to teach the importance of family from a young age, as these are the people who will carry family history, provide support, and help during tough times. By fostering connections with extended family, individuals can build deeper relationships with others later in life.
❤️ Meaningful Family Connections
In closing, the speaker urges the audience to make meaningful connections with their family members beyond just sending texts or connecting on social media. Building these relationships requires effort, but it leads to strong and lasting bonds. As Uncle Bob would say, 'You’re good people because you come from good people.'
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Family
💡Connection
💡Pandemic
💡Tradition
💡Support
💡Communication
💡Family History
💡Letter Writing
💡FaceTime
💡Celebration
Highlights
In 2015, after the death of the speaker’s grandmother, the family decided to take a trip to Asheville, North Carolina, to find solace and reconnect.
The speaker reflects on the statistic from 'Fault Lines' by Carl Pilmer, stating that 40% of Americans have been estranged from their extended family at least once.
The importance of maintaining contact with extended family is emphasized, particularly through the speaker’s relationship with Uncle Bob, who frequently calls.
The use of FaceTime, humorously referred to as 'forehead time,' allows the speaker to stay connected with Uncle Bob, who asks about school and personal life.
Annual family trips to Hilton Head Island and Asheville, North Carolina, including activities like bocce ball, football games, and coffee chats, are treasured memories.
The pandemic disrupted these family gatherings, creating uncertainty about how to maintain closeness and share experiences while socially distanced.
The speaker highlights how family is a 'tribe' and essential for emotional support during times of uncertainty and celebration, reinforcing the need for connection.
During the pandemic, the speaker missed family interactions and realized the importance of family connections for personal identity.
To keep the family bond alive, the speaker emphasizes alternatives to in-person gatherings, such as calls, letters, and virtual meetings.
The speaker shares the power of handwritten letters, noting how they felt more personal and meaningful compared to quick text messages.
Family dinners are described as a critical time for passing down stories, values, and communication skills to younger generations.
A family story about the speaker’s great-grandmother, who lost her parents and brother in a train crash in 1917, illustrates the importance of family history.
Conversations at the dining table provide wisdom and guidance, such as advice received during a time of stress about school and activities.
The speaker stresses that the value of family must be instilled at a young age, as these connections offer lifelong support and advice.
The speech concludes with a call to action: make meaningful, deep connections with family, beyond just text messages or Facebook friending.
A final takeaway from Uncle Bob’s advice: 'You're good people because you come from good people,' encouraging pride in family heritage.
Transcripts
in 2015 my grandmother died
after her funeral my dad and my aunt
decided that our family should take a
trip to asheville north carolina in
order to be together and get away from
the crazy past few weeks we had just
experienced
little did i know that trip would have a
lasting impact on my life
in fault lines by carl pillimer pilmer
states that 40 percent of americans have
been estranged from their extended
family at least once in their lifetime
currently 27 percent of americans don't
have contact with any extended family as
someone who's always been close to their
extended family my life would not be the
same if i did not have contact with them
my uncle bob lives in knoxville
tennessee and he calls me every few days
recently he has learned how to facetime
or as he likes to call it facebooking
when we talk through facetime or as i
should call it forehead time
i mean facetime he asks about school
what tests i have coming up what books
i'm reading and what i'm learning
then he asks about the previous week's
grades
after that we talk about the different
types of ice cream we're going to eat
for dessert that night
whether we're talking about school
dessert or nothing in particular i would
treasure these talks for the rest of my
life
even though my aunt caroline lives in a
different city we try to visit her often
so often i feel like her house is a
second home
and every time we visit her my cousins
make it a point to drive out there and
eat dinner with us
because spending time together is so
important to us we make an effort to
protect that time spent together every
year
every fourth of july and thanksgiving we
take trips to hilton head island and
asheville north carolina
we play bocce ball we play super
competitive football games we chat over
coffee and we take lots of hikes
these annual trips are some of my
favorite days of the year
unfortunately the pandemic put a pause
on that precious family time
for the longest time we weren't sure if
we could gather in groups
and if we could how we would keep our
distance
how we would hug
how we would see each other's smiles
with masks on our faces
how we would share those precious cups
of coffee
during the pandemic i missed my family
and i felt like i was missing a part of
myself
i realized during this time that humans
are tribal people
and our families are our tribes
we need that loyal connection during
times of uncertainty
times of celebration and to share our
family histories
without that meaningful connections and
relationships perish and family
histories are lost
in order for families to remain
connected they can call
write letters or visit each other
frequently
when we couldn't gather due to the
pandemic we resorted to other ways of
staying in touch
families grow closer when they see each
other face to face
but if that's not an option due to time
availability or say a pandemic
then calling becomes that much more
important
i often feel myself grow more connected
with my cousins and family members
through facetime calls
oftentimes i'll facetime one of my
cousins when i'm bored and we end up
talking for hours
families also grow closer when they see
each other face to face
this is the most effective way for my
family to remain connected and close
families also grow closer when they
write letters
over the past few months i put this into
practice
i wrote letters to those who meant the
most to me and i immediately felt my
connections with these people
strengthened
it took more time than just typing out a
text message that takes 15 seconds to
send
it had a purpose and it felt so much
more meaningful
because we couldn't gather in groups due
to the pandemic
families couldn't eat dinner together
family dinners have proven to be
essential for communication and learning
conversation skills
it teaches children how to communicate
with people of all ages
it's also one of the ways that family
histories are passed down to the next
generation
for example my aunts and uncles
frequently talk about their grandmother
and the historic events that shaped her
and my family
in 1917 my great-grandmother's parents
and brother were killed in a train crash
it left her with only her sister and
forced her to lean on the only family
she had left
later in life she passed these lessons
on down to my cousins aunts and uncles
and they've taken the time to instill
those lessons in me conversations like
these have helped me and my cousins to
know the history of our family and be
able to tell our children about it one
day
it's also one of the ways you gain
wisdom and advice
some of the best advice i've gotten came
from sitting around the dining room
table
for example one time i was stressed
about school and various other
activities so i brought it up at the
dinner table
my family was able to help me through
that and redirect my stress
we must instill the importance of family
at a young age
these are the people you will rely on
the people to keep your family histories
and stories
the people who will support you when
everything seems to be going the wrong
way
through people learning how to connect
with their extended family it will lead
to deeper relationships with others down
the road
so if you only take one thing from this
talk
i hope is to just connect
don't just send a text message
don't just friend your cousins aunts and
uncles on facebook
reach out and make meaningful deep
connections and watch how fast a
relationship develops
and as uncle bob would say you're good
people because you come from good people
thank you
[Applause]
you
Voir Plus de Vidéos Connexes
2nd Voice of the Youth National Oratorical Competition (Champion)
ENGLISH SPEECH | KYLE MARTIN: The 16th Second (English Subtitles)
The Importance of Family Dinners | Nicole Sanders | TEDxPascoCountySchools
The importance of family traditions | Federica Zavi | TEDx Youth International School of Luxembourg
My experience at an American Christian school⛪️🇺🇸/تجربتي في مدرسة مسيحية للبنات فقط؟
Meet as Strangers Leave as Friends | John DiJulius | TEDxAkron
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)