30 life changing pieces of advice

Summary

In this video, Sarah shares transformative life advice from her mother, Jan, who imparts wisdom on topics like time management, the value of small efforts, and the importance of paying favors forward. Sarah emphasizes the significance of choosing whose advice to follow, learning from experiences, and the power of self-compassion. She discusses the liberating idea of not needing everyone's approval and the freedom in letting others make their own decisions. Jan's advice extends to maintaining a clean home, embracing individuality, and the metaphor of 'making your own cake' for self-reliance. The video is a heartfelt collection of insights aimed at personal growth and well-being.

Takeaways

• 🕒 **Time Management**: Saying 'I have time' can help reduce stress and make you feel less overwhelmed.
• ⏱️ **Small Steps**: Even 5 minutes dedicated to a task can be beneficial and prevent perfectionism from halting progress.
• 🚶‍♀️ **Paying It Forward**: Receiving help? Remember to offer the same to others; it fosters a positive cycle.
• 🤔 **Mindful Listening**: Be cautious of the advice you take in; consider the source and their position before accepting it.
• 💪 **Pick Your Battles**: Conserve energy by focusing on important issues rather than getting drained in trivial conflicts.
• 📋 **Prefixing Tasks**: Viewing tasks with 'all I have to do is' makes them seem less daunting and more manageable.
• 🌟 **Learning from Experience**: Every experience, even tough ones, offers valuable lessons and contributes to personal growth.
• 🌞 **Wear SPF**: A simple yet crucial reminder for skin health.
• 🧠 **Mind Over Matter**: People often aren't as focused on you as you think, which can be a comforting thought.
• 🚫 **Avoid Offense**: You can't control what others say, but you can control how you react to it.
• 📚 **Quit Bad Books**: Life's too short to finish books that aren't engaging or valuable.
• 🗣️ **Speak Confidently**: Reduce filler words and speak with certainty to project confidence.
• 🕰️ **Trust Timing**: The right information will come at the right time; don't stress about finding it all at once.
• 😤 **Stop Complaining**: Complaining often leads to inaction and negativity; focus on solutions instead.
• 👿 **Accept the 'Bad Guy' Role**: Sometimes, it's okay to be the 'bad guy' in someone else's story to stay true to yourself.
• 🤷‍♀️ **Acceptance**: People will do what they want; it's liberating to accept that you can't control others.
• 🏡 **Clean Spaces**: Keeping your kitchen and bathroom clean ensures you're always ready for unexpected guests.
• 🎂 **Make Your Own Cake**: Take initiative for your own happiness; don't wait for others to provide it.
• 🌐 **Diversify Skills**: You're capable of many things, but choose to pursue what brings you joy and fulfillment.
• 🌱 **Embrace Quirks**: Your unique traits are your strengths; embrace them to connect more authentically with others.
• 📅 **Buffer Time**: Give yourself extra time before and after vacations to fully enjoy and recharge.
• 👩‍⚕️ **Pursue Passion**: Despite the challenges, pursue what you truly want to do in life.
• 💖 **Self-Kindness**: Treat yourself with kindness and avoid regretting past decisions; learn and improve.
• 🍽️ **Positive Eating**: View food as a source of enjoyment and nutrition, not as 'good' or 'bad'.
• 😨 **Face Fear**: It's okay to feel scared when starting something new; use that fear as motivation to proceed.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video?

The main theme of the video is sharing 30 pieces of advice that have positively impacted the creator's life and introducing her mother as a source of wisdom and advice.

What is the significance of the number 30 in the video?

The number 30 signifies the series that the video is a part of, where the creator shares 30 things that have made an impact on her life.

What role does the creator's mother play in the video?

The creator's mother, Jan, plays a significant role as she is the source of much of the advice shared in the video. She introduces herself and her interests, and her advice is interspersed throughout the video.

What is the advice about time management mentioned in the video?

The advice about time management is to remember the phrase 'I have time' when feeling overwhelmed, which helps reduce stress and to recognize that even 5 minutes dedicated to a task is better than nothing.

How does the video suggest paying favors forward?

The video suggests paying favors forward by doing good deeds for others without expecting anything in return, as the creator learned from a nurse who gave her a lift home after work.

What advice does the video give about taking advice from others?

The video advises being mindful of who you take advice from, considering whether they are in a position you want to be in, and if they are someone you respect and admire.

What is the importance of 'picking your battles' as mentioned in the video?

The importance of 'picking your battles' is highlighted as a way to conserve energy and avoid getting drained by unnecessary conflicts, focusing instead on what truly matters.

How does the video suggest approaching a to-do list to reduce stress?

The video suggests prefixing your to-do list with 'all I have to do is' to make it feel less stressful and more manageable.

What is the advice about experiences and growth shared in the video?

The advice is that no experience is wasted, as even difficult times like breakups or job losses can lead to significant personal growth when viewed retrospectively.

Why does the video emphasize wearing SPF?

The video emphasizes wearing SPF as a simple yet crucial step in skincare to protect the skin from harmful UV rays.

What is the advice regarding complaining given in the video?

The advice is to stop complaining so much, as it often serves as an easy way out rather than taking action and can lower the energy and enjoyment of conversations.

What does the video suggest about controlling others' opinions of you?

The video suggests that it's not worth trying to control everyone else's opinion of you and that it's healthier to focus on living your life authentically and making decisions based on your own preferences.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Life-Changing Advice from Mom 🌟

The video begins with the host sharing 30 life-changing pieces of advice that have positively impacted her life, many of which were imparted by her mother. The host introduces her mother, Jan, who shares her love for dogs, knitting, and gardening. Jan emphasizes the importance of self-assurance by saying 'I have time' to combat stress and advocates for taking small steps towards tasks to maintain momentum. She also stresses the value of paying favors forward, as she taught her daughter by example during her time as a healthcare assistant. The host encourages viewers to be selective with the advice they receive, considering the source's credibility and whether they respect and admire that person.

05:02

💡 Embracing Imperfections and Mindful Living 💡

The host discusses the importance of embracing imperfections, stating that no experience is wasted, even if it seems challenging at the time. She shares personal anecdotes about how she learned to be mindful of the battles she chooses to fight and the advice she takes. The host also mentions the advice from life coach Jamie Holiday about managing to-do lists and the value of realizing that every experience, no matter how difficult, contributes to personal growth. She encourages viewers to wear sunscreen, remember that others are not as focused on them as they might think, and to not take offense easily, as imparted by her partner Vince.

10:03

📚 Selective Reading and Trusting Timing 📚

In this section, the host encourages viewers to read selectively, giving permission to abandon bad books and seek out masterpieces instead. She shares a personal lesson about the importance of speaking with confidence and certainty, learned from the audiobook 'The Ultimate Guy's Guide.' The host also advises trusting that the right information will come at the right time, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the abundance of resources available. She reflects on her own experience of stopping complaints for 30 days, which led to a more positive outlook, and emphasizes the importance of not complaining as a way to maintain personal power and engaging conversations.

15:05

💔 Being the 'Bad Guy' and Self-Acceptance 💔

The host shares advice from her mother about accepting that one may be seen as the 'bad guy' in someone else's story, especially during a breakup. She discusses the freedom that comes from not worrying about others' opinions and focusing on oneself. The host also touches on the idea that people will ultimately do what they want, regardless of advice, and the importance of not trying to control others' actions or opinions. She shares wisdom from her mother-in-law about maintaining a clean kitchen and bathroom to always be ready for guests and reflects on the freedom that comes from choosing not to do everything one is capable of, but rather focusing on what brings joy.

20:07

🎂 Making Your Own Cake and Embracing the Future You 🎂

The host tells a story about her mother's advice to 'make your own cake,' which symbolizes self-reliance and taking initiative in life. She encourages viewers to act like the ideal future version of themselves, especially on days with low motivation. The host also discusses the importance of not placing all expectations on one person, such as a partner, but instead relying on a network of people to fulfill different needs. She shares her stepdad's advice to ask everyone about their day as a way to show kindness and interest, and speaks about the benefits of investing in quality skincare, as she has experienced significant improvements with prescription-strength products.

🌲 Embracing Quirks and Buffer Time 🌲

The host shares advice from life coach Susan Hayatt about embracing one's quirks as superpowers, encouraging viewers to show their true selves rather than hiding behind a facade of perfection. She also discusses the benefits of adding buffer time before and after vacations to reduce stress and increase enjoyment. The host reflects on the advice she received about pursuing her dream of becoming a doctor despite her age concerns, highlighting the importance of not letting the passage of time deter one from pursuing their goals. She ends with a Maya Angelou quote about doing the best one can until they know better, and then doing better when they do know better.

🍽 Adding to Life's Flavors and Overcoming Anxiety 🍽

The host advises viewers to approach food by adding more flavor, nutrients, and enjoyment rather than restricting or counting calories. She shares her mother's advice about continuing to show up to work despite feeling anxious or unprepared, which helped her overcome her own anxiety as a new doctor. The host encourages viewers to be kind to themselves and not regret past decisions, but instead learn and improve. She also quotes Oprah Winfrey about believing people when they show their true selves and the importance of setting boundaries accordingly. The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to share which piece of advice has changed their lives and a heartfelt thank you to her mother for her contributions to the video.

Keywords

💡Advice

Advice refers to recommendations or suggestions that are intended to guide or encourage someone to take a particular action or follow a certain course. In the video's context, advice is the central theme as the speaker shares transformative life advice from her mother and personal experiences. For instance, the phrase 'I have time' is presented as advice that helps in reducing stress.

💡Stress

Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. The video discusses how certain pieces of advice can help in alleviating stress, such as by reminding oneself 'I have time' or by doing a minimal amount of a task when feeling overwhelmed.

💡Consistency

Consistency refers to the act of behaving or performing in the same way over time, especially so as to be fair or accurate. The video emphasizes the importance of consistency in habits, suggesting that doing a small part of a task is better than not doing it at all to maintain momentum.

💡Paying it forward

Paying it forward means performing a good deed without expecting anything in return, with the hope that the recipient will do the same for others. The video shares a personal story where the speaker was given a lift home by a nurse, who advised her to 'pay the favor forward' instead of trying to repay her directly.

💡Mindful

Mindful refers to being fully aware of and attentive to what is taking place in the present. The video encourages being mindful of the source of advice, questioning whether the advice giver is someone whose position or character you respect and admire.

💡Battles

Battles in the video symbolize conflicts or arguments. The advice is to 'pick your battles', meaning to choose which conflicts are worth engaging in, as fighting the wrong battles can drain your energy and resources.

💡To-do list

A to-do list is a record of tasks that need to be done. The video suggests a mindset hack for managing to-do lists by prefixing it with 'all I have to do is', which can make the list feel less daunting and more manageable.

💡Experience

Experience refers to the knowledge or skill acquired by a period of practical experience of something. The video conveys that every experience, even difficult ones like breakups or job loss, is valuable and contributes to personal growth.

💡SPF

SPF stands for Sun Protection Factor, which is a measure of the effectiveness of a sunscreen product against UVB rays. The video includes a simple yet crucial piece of advice to 'wear your SPF', highlighting the importance of sun protection in daily skincare.

💡Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and the ability to recognize and understand one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires. The video points out that no one is thinking about you as much as you think about yourself, which is a comforting thought that promotes self-awareness and reduces the pressure of perceived judgment.

💡Complaining

Complaining is the act of expressing dissatisfaction or annoyance. The video advises to limit complaining as it often serves as an outlet without leading to action and can negatively impact one's mood and conversations with others.

💡Quirks

Quirks are peculiar aspects of someone's character or behavior. The video encourages embracing one's quirks as they are what make a person unique and can be considered superpowers, leading to deeper connections with others.

Highlights

Introduction to the video series '30 things' and the guest appearance of Sarah's mom, Jan.

Jan shares her hobbies and introduces her dog, Rosie.

Advice on combating stress by reminding oneself 'I have time'.

The value of doing even just 5 minutes of a task when feeling overwhelmed.

The importance of paying favors forward.

Being mindful of the source of advice and whether it aligns with your goals.

Advice on managing conflicts and choosing your battles wisely.

Transforming your to-do list into a manageable 'all I have to do is' list.

Learning from difficult experiences and seeing them as opportunities for growth.

The reminder to wear SPF for skin protection.

Understanding that people are less concerned about you than you might think.

Vince's advice on not taking offense when none is intended.

Permission to stop reading a bad book and find a better one.

The impact of filler words on confidence in speech.

Trusting that the right information will come at the right time.

The realization that complaining can be a waste of energy and a power drain.

Accepting that you can be the 'bad guy' in someone else's story without it defining you.

Learning to let go of controlling others' opinions of you.

Angela's advice on maintaining a clean kitchen and bathroom for unexpected guests.

Jan's philosophy on choosing to do only what brings joy and fulfillment.

The metaphor of 'making your own cake' for self-reliance and initiative.

The strategy of envisioning what your ideal future self would do to motivate current actions.

The importance of a social support network beyond a single person.

John's lesson of asking others about their day to foster kindness and connection.

The benefits of investing in quality skincare for personal well-being.

Embracing personal quirks as superpowers for deeper connections.

Adding buffer time before and after vacations to enhance relaxation.

Deciding to pursue a career path despite age concerns.

Maya Angelo's quote on doing the best you can until you know better, then do better.

Oprah Winfrey's advice to believe people when they show you their true selves.

Approaching food as a source of enjoyment and nutrition rather than restriction.

Advice to face challenges and work despite feeling scared or anxious.

Invitation to share personal advice that has changed lives in the comments.

Transcripts

[Music]

in this video I'm sharing 30 pieces of

advice that have changed my life for the

better and hopefully you'll find them

helpful as well I was talking with my

mom recently and I realized how much

knowledge and wisdom and amazing advice

she's shared with me over the years so

in this video I'm also introducing you

to her and a lot of the pieces of advice

in this video have come directly from

her so you can thank her in the comments

section this video is part of my 30

things Series so if you enjoy it you can

go check out the rest of the playlist

after watching

this is my lovely Mom Mom do you want to

introduce yourself hello everyone I'm

I'm Jan I'm Sarah's mom I live in the

middle of nowhere and I love my dog and

knitting and Patchwork and gardening

come on rosie come and say hello to

everyone this is Rosie good girl you're

so gorgeous thanks Mom well I wanted to

put you in this video because you're

always giving me the best advice so

thank you for all the years of wisdom

and

advice tell yourself I have time those

three little words help me so much when

I'm feeling overwhelmed even if I really

feel like I don't have the time to fit

in everything that I want or need to do

just saying to myself I have time is

incredibly helpful in making me feel

less stressed 5 minutes is better than

nothing 5 minutes of journaling 5

minutes of exercise 5 minutes of

responding to emails 5 minutes of

cleaning and organizing I don't know

about you but I have this tendency to

build things up in my head and feel like

if I can't go the whole hog and do

something perfect ly then it's not worth

doing and that means that quite often I

end up not doing that thing for quite a

long time and I become inconsistent and

then I lose momentum and it's harder for

me to get started when I actually do

need to what I do nowadays is just try

to do a little chunk just give a minimal

amount of effort if I really don't have

much energy rather than not doing that

thing at all be the person who pays the

favor forward this is a lesson that I

learned most acutely when I was working

as a healthcare assistant I worked at a

hospital that was miles away from where

I lived I had to get a bus I had to then

get a train and then I had a 40-minute

walk to the hospital from the train

station so it was a long slog to get to

work and my shifts were 13 hours long so

it always felt like such a trek it would

take me like 2 hours to get to and from

work each way anyway there was this

nurse that I sometimes worked with and

she lived not that far away from me and

when she was on shift she would give me

a lift home after sh after my shift and

I was so grateful to her every single

time that she did this and I remember

saying to her once like how can I repay

you this was so nice of you to give me a

lift and she said don't think about that

pay the favor forward when somebody else

is in this position or there's a favor

that you can do for somebody else pay it

forward and that always stuck with me so

I just wanted to share that because I

love that piece of advice mindful who

you take advice from is so easy for

anybody and everybody to dish out advice

but ask yourself are they in the

position that you actually want to be in

are they somebody that you respect and

admire are they somebody who you

actually want advice from you can listen

to their advice but it doesn't mean you

have to actually take it on board or do

what they say just be mindful this one

is valid for whether you're

communicating with your partner or your

friends or maybe arguing with strangers

on the internet pick your battles you

only have so much energy and fighting

the wrong battles will drain you piece

of advice that I learned from Jamie

holiday the women's mindset coach is

that when you're thinking about your

to-do list prefix it with all I have to

do is it makes it feel so much less

stressful and so much more manageable

absolute Game Changer say hi Tilly you

want to say hi to everyone you want to

say hi to everyone nothing is a wasted

experience sometimes it's only in

hindsight that we can realize the value

in something that we've been through

like going through a breakup or going

through a job loss or something really

difficult or feeling like you're stuck

or you're in a stagnant period of your

life it can feel really frustrating and

you can feel like

I just can't wait to get through this or

this is setting me back in life but in

reality when you look back on any of

these kinds of experiences you've had

you realize how much growth happened

during that time think back to a time

when you were going through something

really difficult and now realize how

many lessons you've learned from that

nothing is a wasted experience even if

you can't see it when you're in the

moment wear your SPF it is as simple as

that remember that no one and I mean no

one is thinking about you as much as

you're thinking about yourself and I

find this such a comforting thought

because we go about our teens and our

20s assuming that everyone is judging us

and everyone is thinking about us and

you know maybe they are but honestly no

one is thinking about you as much as you

think about yourself I want you to think

about your best friend or one of your

favorite people in the world maybe it's

a family member maybe it's your partner

maybe it's one of your friends how often

have you thought about them today okay

maybe you've thought about them once

maybe you've thought about them twice

maybe thought about them a few times I'm

willing to bet that you haven't spent

more than five or 10 minutes thinking

about them today and this is the person

in the world that you love the

most nobody is thinking about you that

much so this is a piece of advice that

Vince has given me and you say this all

the time you can't give offense you can

only take offense don't you you say that

I do and I

think that's very useful information

you are genuinely someone that never

gets offended by things yeah I give it

back I make them cry make me cry and as

someone who used to be very sensitive

this is just quite refreshing life is

too short to waste time on Bad Books

there are so many people out there who

have written masterpieces they've

downloaded the information from their

brain onto paper for you to read and if

you're reading a bad book you have my

full permission to stop halfway and

forget about finishing it Life's Too

Short your time's precious and go and

read a better book speaking confidently

and being sure of yourself we often add

in words like kind of I think maybe and

we use ums and rs when actually we

really do know what we're talking about

we use those words to soften what we're

trying to say and it makes you seem like

you're not sure of yourself it makes you

seem not as confident I learned this

from the audio book the ultimate gy rone

collection I've talked about this loads

on this channel I absolutely love that

audio book so if you haven't listened to

it it's a very long one but I would

highly recommend it there is just so

much good life advice in there trust

that the right information will reach

you when it's supposed to at the right

time we live in a world full of

information books podcasts courses

YouTube videos all full of wonderful

information and stories while this is

absolutely amazing we can fall into a

trap of thinking that if we just find

the right book or we just find the

perfect course then our problems will be

solved while it is helpful to have these

resources available to us I want you to

remember that you take a different piece

of information each time you consume

something you take the thing that is

relevant to you at that time I don't

know if you've ever read a book twice or

listened to a podcast episode twice or

watched a YouTube video twice and you

found that you take something slightly

different from it and that's because at

that time you needed to hear a

particular thing from it so trust that

the right information will come to you

at the right time you do not need to

find the next big thing it's all there

waiting for you and you'll take what you

need at the right time stop complaining

so much I actually made a video about

that which I'll link up here where I did

30 days of no complaining and I learned

a lot in that 30 days and I felt really

positive afterwards now complaining can

be helpful in some instances you know

you notice a problem you complain about

it you make a change but what I realized

doing this challenge was that most of

the time I'd say 99% of the time

complaining was robbing me of my power I

was choosing to complain as an easy way

out because it felt like some sort of

cathartic release to be able to vent

about the problem but actually I'm not

doing anything about it I'm choosing to

complain rather than take some action

and not only that but it's kind of a

boring topic of conversation for the

other person it brings the energy down

and it's just not really a nice way to

have a conversation there are so many

more interesting things to talk about

than complaining about things it's okay

to be the bad guy in somebody else's

story this piece of advice came from my

mom at a much needed time when I was

going through a breakup maybe in my late

teens early 20s and I remember breaking

up with this guy and I thought that we'd

probably end up staying friends and

everything would be amicable and it

would all be okay well things didn't

work out like that he started spreading

all these rumors about me and it was

really nasty and it was all untr true

and it really upset me and I remember

ringing up my mom and saying to her how

can I stop him from doing this and also

how can I make him like me again or I

thought we were going to be friends

after breaking up which was very naive

of me and my mom just said to me Sarah

it's okay to be the bad guy in somebody

else's story focus on yourself stop

worrying about what he thinks of you

about what he's doing and if he's

spreading all these rumors about you the

people that care about you will

understand that it's not true or even if

they think is true they won't care that

was such an important piece of advice

for me and I wanted to pass that on to

you and especially for those of you who

are people Pleasers because we are so

desperate to be liked we're programmed

to want to make everybody like us and to

make sure that everybody thinks that

we're a wonderful person and it kills a

little bit of our soul if we think that

people are annoyed at us or don't like

us but actually if you want to grow as a

human being and you want to improve

yourself you've got to let that go

you've got to allow yourself to be the

bad guy in somebody else's Story You've

got to not worry if people hate you or

if people don't like you it's not your

problem your problem is whether you like

them your problem is making up your mind

about what you want to do what you want

to focus on stop trying to control

everybody else's opinion of you just

carry on living your life because none

of it matters remember that people will

ultimately do whatever they want to do I

remember having this conversation with

my mom where there was a situation with

one of my friends and this friend was

making a decision that I felt was unwise

and I was a bit worried about it and I

spoke to my mom and my mom said to me

that phrase people will ultimately do

whatever they want to do my friend

probably knew that the situation was

unwise but she chose that and it was

really freeing hearing those words from

my mom it's a bit like that let them

thing from Mel Robbins you know people

are annoyed at you let them be people

are doing things you don't want them to

let them it's so freeing to remember

that it's not your responsibility first

of all you know you can't control what

other people are doing and nor should

you try to but also realizing that

ultimately some part of them wants that

and some part and they they have the

decision-making capabilities and the

knowledge that they need to make their

own decisions about their life so let

them people will ultimately do whatever

they want to do some advice from my

incredible mother-in-law who is an

absolute Domestic Goddess Angela is that

if you've got a clean kitchen and a

clean bathroom then you're always ready

for guests and she said that she was

told that by her own mom and something

that I found that makes cleaning the

bathroom so much easier is having a

bathroom spray just in the cupboard in

the bathroom using that with a bit of

toilet tissue just to give it a quick

once over now this isn't like your

normal weekly deep clean of the bathroom

but it's enough just to make the

bathroom smell a bit fresher to make the

shs the make the Taps shiny and make it

smell and look fresh more words of

wisdom from my mom just because you can

do something and even if you can do that

thing well it doesn't mean you have to

and it doesn't mean you should and I

love this because it's so freeing I feel

like we live in a world that is is so

beautiful we have so many options and

opportunities around us and that is a

wonderful thing but it also means that

if you're someone like me who's always

got loads of ideas and thoughts about

what to do and loves to hear opinions

from other people and advice from other

people can mean that you end up feeling

pressured and like you have too many

things on your plate and too much to do

so for example I had a message from

somebody the other day saying that I

would make a good psychiatrist and like

that's really flattering and that's

really lovely and Psychiatry is a career

that I had considered and perhaps I'd be

really good at it but it doesn't mean I

have to do it and it doesn't mean I

should necessarily do it same with

becoming a GP or going into my A&E

training I could do it and I probably

could do it pretty well doesn't mean I

have to I could also probably be a very

good Baker or painter you know life is

full of options and opportunities and I

think this is really wonderful piece of

advice to remind us that we should be

led by what feels joyful and fun and

right for us and nobody else can decide

that other than you so even though you

can do something and you can potentially

do it very well choose the things that

bring you the most joy and your life

life will feel the most fulfilling your

life will have the most meaning and it

will be the best possible life for you

another very important lesson from my

mom make your own cake all right so when

I was in medical school I went on this

placement which was really far away it

was like 2 and a half hours away from

where I was living and I didn't know

anyone there and in my first week it

happened to be my birthday and I

remember complaining to my mom and being

like Oh it's my birthday I'm not going

to do anything I'm not going to see

anyone

not going to have any celebrations I

probably won't have a birthday cake and

I was expecting my mom to give me some

sympathy because she is such a sweet

person and she normally does but she

gave me some real tough love and it was

exactly what I needed at the time and

she said Sarah make your own cake make

bake yourself a cake invite your

colleagues around invite the rest of the

people from your group over tell them

it's your birthday no one can read your

mind don't expect them to and don't

expect other people to go out of their

way to make a cake or buy you a cake and

celebrate with you it's up to you and

this is just such a good metaphor for so

many things in life taking self-

responsibility and using direct

communication being the person to invite

others to have fun so this is a key life

lesson make your own damn cake learning

to ask yourself what the ideal future

version of you would do is so helpful

when you're having like a low energy low

motivation day so for example this

morning I woke up and I was like oh I

feel a bit low definitely don't have a

lot of motivation and I was so tempted

to start my day with scrolling and

eating a rubbish breakfast and skipping

my workout and then I asked myself the

question which is what I often do what

would the ideal future version of me

do and when you have this clear image in

your head of this ideal future version

of you you can think about the actions

that they would take the habits that

they would have and it all becomes clear

like obviously the ideal future version

of me would get myself up and do the

workout even if it's not perfect she

would eat a good breakfast she wouldn't

start her day with scrolling um so this

morning I did a bit of reading when I

first woke up I took myself to the gym I

did my workout it wasn't the best

workout in the world but did I feel

better after it yes of course I did so

getting into the habit of asking myself

this has

made such a difference for me and I hope

it does for you too one of the most

important takeaways from The Book Men

Are from Mars Women Are from Venus

although is a little bit of a

problematic book and it hasn't dated all

that well in some areas but when I read

it many many years ago the most

important thing that I took away from it

is that we're a social species we

shouldn't place all of our expectations

and hopes on one person yes our partners

are there and they're amazing and they

enhance our lives and we enhance theirs

but it's up to us to figure out what we

need and to rely on a network of people

to fulfill those roles to have friends

and lean on them for certain things and

lean on your partner for other things

not to place all of your expectations on

one person because that person can't

necessarily fulfill everything that you

need and that is totally okay and

totally normal be the kind of person who

asks everyone how their day is going now

this is one that I learned from my

stepdad John and it's almost exactly a

year ago since he passed away so I've

been thinking about him a lot

recently and he was the kind of person

who made everyone feel important he

would ask everyone what how their day

was going he would use people's names he

was so kind and friendly and I just

think that we need more of that in the

world we need more people lifting each

other up and just making people feel

like a human asking how their days going

asking how their shifts going thanking

people it's just common courtesy and I

try to do this as much as I possibly can

when I'm out and about but also you know

obviously at work as well talking to

patients just being a friendly kind

human being invest in good quality

skincare now I used to spend a fortune

on skincare and get very average results

I have very oily spot prone skin and

since I've switched over to prescription

strength skincare my skin has never

looked better and I am so thrilled with

the result so I'll leave what I use down

below as an affiliate link if you want

to try it there's a discount code for me

investing in good quality skincare is a

really good use of my money and also my

time because I'm not doing trial and

error with all these different products

thought I'd show you some before and

after so you can see for yourself so on

the left side my skin is not that bad

but on the right side there is a marked

improvement after 3 months I'll leave

the discount Link in the description box

below would it really be one of these 30

things videos if I wasn't out in the

woods wearing this gigantic rain rain

jacket it's not even mine it's Vince's

but it's just so cozy and so comfy the

next piece of advice is from one of my

favorite life coaches on this planet in

fact one of my favorite people on this

planet Susan hayatt and she says that we

should embrace our quirks because they

are our superpowers and I love this so

much and it's taken me such a long time

to get to the point where I'm happy

embracing my quirks embracing my weird

side embracing the things about me that

are different or strange or unusual

because when we hide those parts of us

when we try to be someone we're not or

we try to cover those parts of us up

we're connecting with people in a false

way we're not really showing them our

true selves when you Embrace The

Stranger parts of you the parts of you

that perhaps you got bullied for when

you were younger or things that you felt

ashamed about when you Embrace those

parts of

you you connect with people on a deeper

level you find your people and life just

gets exponentially better and better and

I think that's one of the things that's

been so great about having a YouTube

channel is that it has made me more

confident because it's forced me to find

those parts of me and to you know when

you making YouTube videos you're

deciding what am I going to show do I

present this like polished Perfect Image

and I made a decision very early on with

this channel that that's not what I

wanted I wanted to show the fact I've

got piles and piles of laundry around

that I haven't had time to do I want to

show the fact that I haven't got my life

completely together and that that things

get messy things get disorganized when

we're trying to hide behind Perfection

all the time is so much pressure and

it's just this false reality so yeah

embrace your quirks because they are

your superpowers something I've learned

through experience is to add buffer time

either side of a holiday or vacation so

what I used to do is try and jam-pack my

time away so if I had 7 days off work I

would be away for those entire 7 days

but what I found is that the start of

the holiday would actually be quite

stressful getting packed and ready to go

away and then at the end of the holiday

all I'd be thinking about is the fact

that I'm coming home and going straight

back to work so I find that if I give

myself an extra couple of days either

side of the holiday I actually enjoy

myself more and I get more rest and

recharging from the time

away the time will pass anyway you may

as well spend it doing what you actually

want to do this was a piece of advice

that was given to me by one of my

colleagues before I started medical

school I was working as a healthcare

assistant I'd finished my undergraduate

degree in biomedical sciences and I was

trying to decide what to do with my

future deep down I knew I wanted to be a

doctor but I was giving myself all these

excuses and reasons why I shouldn't do

it like I didn't have enough money to go

to medical school and the training was

too long and maybe I should just go and

work in a grad scheme and do something

quicker and easier but really I knew I

wanted to be a doctor and one of the

things that I said to him was I'm going

to be 27 by the time I graduate that

feels like it's way too old to be

starting my career and he said to me the

time's going to pass anyway you're going

to be 27 no matter what you may as well

be 27 and a doctor than 27 and doing

something you don't really want to do

and that was a real pivotal moment for

me it helped me in making my decision to

apply to medical school and to just

throw myself into life and go after what

I really wanted I love this one as a

reminder to be kind to yourself and

gentle with yourself and not to regret

your past decisions so it's a Maya

Angelo quote that I just keep coming

back to again and again which is do the

best you can until you know better then

when you know better do better this is

one from Oprah Winfrey I listened to her

podcast and she shares so much wisdom on

there so 100% recommend listening to

that if you don't already one of the

things that Oprah says is when somebody

shows you who they really are believe

them the first time sometimes it's only

in hindsight that we can start to notice

patterns in people's behaviors and we

might allow it at the first time and

think you know oh that wasn't really

them or or make excuses for them and

justify why they've behaved in a certain

way but over time if that habit becomes

a pattern then really it's on us to

decide what boundaries we need to set

between them and us when it comes to

food think about how you can add rather

than subtract how can you add more

flavor how can you add more nutrients

how can you add more enjoyment to your

day through food I feel like we've been

sold this myth through diet culture that

we should be viewing food as either good

or bad and that we should be restricting

and counting calories and this is just

such a harmful way to be thinking when

we start to view food as this beautiful

delicious thing that adds to our lives

then we become free of that harmful

message that diet culture is trying to

push on

us do it scared this is some more advice

from my amazing mom this was when I was

starting work as a doctor I remember

feeling really anxious a lot of dread

about going into work worrying that I

wasn't good enough worrying I didn't

live up to the standards that were set

for me and that I was setting for myself

and I remember speaking to my mom about

it a lot and she's somebody who has

struggled with anxiety as well so she

really understands it on a deep level

and she told me that when she started

work as a teacher for her first year she

felt really anxious about going into

work and sometimes she would get so

stressed about it that she would even be

sick and hearing her say that she felt

like that but she still showed up to

work gave me the courage to just feel

that anxiety and still turn up to work

put a smile on my face bring my best

self and go in if you've enjoyed this

video leave a thumbs up and let me know

in the comments down below which piece

of advice has changed your life I would

love to hear it and I'm sure everyone

reading the comments would also love to

hear it so let's make a thread of really

amazing advice big shout out to my mom

for this video thank you Mom love you

this video is part of my 30 things video

so I'll leave that linked on the screen

for you here thanks for watching bye