How to get people to DO WHAT YOU WANT

Summary

The speaker, a seasoned negotiator, shares five principles for successful negotiation, drawing from personal experience. These include understanding your opponent, acknowledging their points, avoiding questions that lead to easy 'no' responses, using silence strategically, and maintaining positivity. The key to effective negotiation lies in building trust, understanding both sides, and working toward mutually beneficial outcomes. The speaker emphasizes the importance of empathy, patience, and emotional control, and encourages viewers to practice these techniques to become better closers. The video concludes with an invitation to a negotiation course for further skill development.

Takeaways

• 📞 Successful negotiation starts with thoroughly understanding your opponent, including researching their background, body language, and previous actions.
• 🤝 Building trust with your opposition, especially inexperienced individuals, can help you reach a common goal by communicating collaboratively rather than adversarially.
• 📝 Acknowledge the other side's points to make them feel heard and comfortable, which can lead to a smoother negotiation process.
• ❓ Avoid questions that lead to a simple 'no.' Instead, offer specific alternatives to keep the conversation progressing toward a solution.
• 🙅‍♂️ Don't push for a 'yes'—aim for a 'no' instead. Reframing questions to get a 'no' can lead to finding compromises that satisfy both sides.
• 🤫 Silence is a powerful tool in negotiation. By staying quiet, you allow the other side to feel in control and come up with solutions themselves.
• 😊 Keep negotiations positive at all times. A positive atmosphere encourages smoother deal-making, while negativity can quickly kill a deal.
• 🛑 Losing control of your emotions during a negotiation can be disastrous. Staying calm and collected is essential for closing the deal successfully.
• 💡 Negotiation is a skill that can be practiced and refined, whether you are a natural or not. Continuous learning and applying these principles will lead to better outcomes.
• 💼 Selling is not just about pushing a product; it’s about building relationships, understanding the other party's needs, and working towards mutually beneficial solutions.

Q & A

What is the speaker's first principle of negotiation?

The speaker's first principle of negotiation is understanding your opponent. This involves researching the person you're negotiating with, such as checking their past sales, websites, social media, and observing their body language and tone during interactions.

How does the speaker suggest dealing with someone who has a big ego in negotiations?

The speaker suggests feeding the ego of someone who wants to feel like they are winning. By agreeing with them and asking for their expertise, you can make them feel in control, which makes it easier to reach an agreement.

What approach does the speaker recommend when dealing with an inexperienced opponent?

When dealing with an inexperienced opponent, the speaker recommends offering them guidance in a friendly, non-patronizing way. Use phrases like 'we’re in this together' and 'let’s work together' to build trust and establish a cooperative relationship.

Why is it important to acknowledge the other party’s points during negotiations?

Acknowledging the other party's points makes them feel heard and understood, which builds trust. This approach helps create a discussion rather than a confrontation, making it easier to find a mutual solution.

Why does the speaker advise against pushing for a 'yes' in negotiations?

The speaker advises against pushing for a 'yes' because it’s often easier for people to say 'no.' Instead, he suggests asking questions that lead to thoughtful responses, which creates a more collaborative environment and moves the negotiation forward.

How can silence be used effectively in negotiations?

Silence can be effective because it forces the other party to break the silence by offering a solution. It also gives the other party a sense of control, which can work in your favor as they try to come up with a proposal.

What does the speaker mean by 'keeping it positive' during negotiations?

'Keeping it positive' means maintaining a calm and constructive attitude, even if the deal isn’t going as planned. The speaker emphasizes that staying positive leads to better results because negative emotions can cause the negotiation to break down.

How does the speaker suggest handling opposition from a seasoned negotiator?

When dealing with a seasoned negotiator, the speaker advises understanding their motivations and treating the negotiation as a partnership. This means asking questions to understand their interests and finding ways to work together toward a common goal.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of asking 'no-oriented' questions?

The speaker emphasizes 'no-oriented' questions because they often yield more honest answers. A 'no' can create an opportunity for further discussion, allowing both parties to find a solution, rather than pushing for a 'yes' that might not be genuine.

What does the speaker mean by 'selling is a muscle'?

The speaker means that selling and negotiation skills can be developed over time through practice and experience. While some people may have a natural talent for selling, others can improve by consistently working at it.