Navigating life as a third culture kid | Vicky Schdeva | TEDxYouth@ISPrague

TEDx Talks

5 May 201713:10

Summary

TLDRThe transcript explores the experiences of third culture kids—individuals raised in multiple cultural environments. It discusses the challenges of answering the seemingly simple question 'Where are you from?' due to their complex identities, shaped by diverse cultures. The narrator highlights benefits like adaptability, open-mindedness, and intercultural skills, but also addresses challenges such as feeling misunderstood, cultural confusion, and the need to adapt or 'lie' to fit in. The transcript calls for greater understanding and empathy toward third culture kids, recognizing both their strengths and the isolation they sometimes face.

Takeaways

🌍 The question 'Where are you from?' can be simple for some, but complex for others, especially third culture kids.
👫 Third culture kids (TCKs) are individuals who have been raised in multiple cultures and struggle to identify with just one.
🔍 TCKs develop unique intercultural and interpersonal skills due to their exposure to various cultures, making them adaptable and open-minded.
💬 Despite the benefits of being a TCK, they often face the challenge of being misunderstood and people simplifying their identity to just one culture.
🤔 TCKs grapple with identity confusion when asked which culture they identify with most, as their deep cultural identity is a blend of multiple influences.
🏞 The concept of the 'cultural iceberg' highlights that surface culture (language, customs) is easy to spot, but deep culture (values, beliefs) shapes a person's personality significantly.
🎭 Many TCKs adopt a 'chameleon' strategy, adjusting their identity and appearance to fit different situations, sometimes resorting to lies to simplify interactions.
📊 The experience of being a TCK shapes behavior, making it challenging to navigate family expectations, authority, and friendships.
💔 While TCKs may seem to easily adapt and make friends, they often experience deep attachment and loss due to the transient nature of their relationships.
🔄 TCKs often feel isolated despite their many benefits, and society needs to understand and accommodate their complex identities.

Q & A

What is a third culture kid (TCK)?
-A third culture kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of their developmental years in a culture different from their parents' culture, leading them to build relationships with multiple cultures. This concept was coined by American sociologists Pollock and Van Reken.
What are some common examples of third culture kids?
-Common examples of third culture kids include children of expatriates, missionaries, diplomats, immigrants, and those born into cross-cultural marriages.
What are the advantages of being a third culture kid?
-The advantages of being a third culture kid include being adaptive, easily crossing and changing cultures, developing excellent interpersonal and intercultural skills, being open-minded, and living in the moment.
What is the 'culture iceberg' concept, and how does it relate to TCKs?
-The 'culture iceberg' concept, created by Dr. Robert Kohls, illustrates that culture is more than just visible customs and traditions; it deeply influences beliefs and values. For TCKs, their deep cultural experiences shape their personalities and worldview, making it difficult for others to understand their full identity based on surface-level cultural traits.
What challenges do third culture kids face in their daily lives?
-Third culture kids often face challenges such as being misunderstood by others, having their multicultural identity reduced to a single culture, difficulty answering questions like 'Where are you from?', and struggling with cultural identity.
How do third culture kids typically respond to questions about their cultural identity?
-Third culture kids often feel confused or uncertain when asked about their cultural identity. They may adapt their answers based on the situation, sometimes oversimplifying or even lying to fit others' expectations and avoid lengthy explanations.
What is the concept of a 'cultural chameleon' in the context of TCKs?
-A 'cultural chameleon' refers to a TCK's ability to switch languages, behaviors, and appearances to blend into different cultural environments. While this skill helps them adapt, it can also lead to identity struggles and a sense of not fully belonging to any culture.
How does being a TCK affect relationships and friendships?
-TCKs may develop unique approaches to relationships, such as easily making friends due to their adaptability but also becoming deeply attached, leading to difficulties when friendships end. Their multicultural background can influence how they interact with friends and authority figures.
What are some examples of famous people who were third culture kids?
-Famous examples of third culture kids include Barack Obama (half Kenyan, half American), Uma Thurman (born in Mexico to a German father and Swedish mother), and Freddie Mercury (born in Tanzania, grew up in India and the UK).
How does society typically interact with third culture kids, and what could be improved?
-Society often struggles to understand the complex identities of TCKs, leading to oversimplified views of their cultural backgrounds. To improve interaction, society could focus on recognizing and appreciating the full depth of TCKs' multicultural experiences and identities.

Outlines

00:00

🌍 The Concept of Third Culture Kids

The paragraph introduces the concept of third culture kids (TCKs) and explains the complexity of answering the question 'Where are you from?' for individuals with multicultural backgrounds. It mentions the definition coined by sociologists Poock and Van Reen in the 1990s, which describes TCKs as individuals who build relationships across various cultures. The benefits of being a TCK, such as adaptability, cultural crossover, openness, and living in the moment, are highlighted. Examples of famous TCKs include Barack Obama, Uma Thurman, and Freddie Mercury. The author also shares their personal story of being half Russian, half Indian, and living in the Czech Republic, emphasizing the challenges of explaining their cultural identity.

05:00

🧠 Cognitive Misers and Cultural Complexity

This paragraph discusses the difficulty people have in accepting complex, multi-faceted answers about cultural identity. It introduces the concept of 'cognitive misers,' who prefer simple answers to save mental effort. The author uses their own experiences to illustrate how people often try to fit them into a single cultural category, despite their multifaceted identity. The cultural iceberg model by Dr. Robert Call is introduced to explain how surface culture is visible, but deep culture significantly shapes beliefs and values. The author shares personal examples of how their Russian and Indian cultures influence their behavior and interactions, particularly in forming friendships and dealing with authority.

10:01

🦎 The Chameleon Strategy

The paragraph explores the adaptive behavior of TCKs, who often lie or change their identity to fit in with different environments. The author admits to frequently lying about their cultural background to avoid lengthy explanations and to feel safer. This adaptive behavior is compared to a chameleon changing its skin. The author acknowledges that this might lead to a lack of cohesion in their multicultural identity, as they prioritize fitting in over maintaining a consistent self-identity. The paragraph concludes by highlighting this as a significant disadvantage of being a TCK, despite the previously mentioned benefits.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Third Culture Kid (TCK)

A 'Third Culture Kid' is a person raised in a culture different from their parents' culture, or who has lived in multiple cultures growing up. The term was coined by sociologists Poock and Van Reen in the 1990s. In the script, the speaker identifies as a TCK because of their Indian and Russian heritage and their experience growing up in the Czech Republic. The concept is central to the video as it explores the identity challenges and benefits TCKs face.

💡Multicultural Identity

Multicultural identity refers to the complex identity formed by individuals who are exposed to multiple cultures. In the video, the speaker explains how their identity is shaped by Russian, Indian, and Czech cultures, and how this creates confusion when asked where they are 'from.' This concept highlights the difficulty in choosing a single cultural identity when one's experiences span multiple cultures.

💡Cognitive Miser

The term 'Cognitive Miser' describes the human tendency to simplify thinking in order to conserve mental energy. The speaker mentions that many people, like Maria, try to simplify the complexity of their multicultural identity by reducing it to a single culture, reflecting the idea that people often avoid deep thinking about complicated matters like identity.

💡Cultural Iceberg

The 'Cultural Iceberg' model, created by Dr. Robert Call, illustrates the layers of culture, with surface culture being visible aspects (like language and customs) and deep culture representing hidden values, beliefs, and attitudes. The speaker uses this model to explain how their deep culture—shaped by multiple influences—impacts their personality, making it hard for others to fully understand their identity.

💡Adaptability

Adaptability is the ability to adjust to different cultures and environments. The speaker highlights this as a key benefit of being a TCK, as they can easily fit into different cultural contexts. This adaptability stems from their exposure to multiple cultures and helps them develop strong interpersonal and intercultural skills.

💡Chameleon Strategy

The 'Chameleon Strategy' refers to TCKs' ability to change their behavior and identity depending on the situation, much like a chameleon changes color. The speaker admits to using this strategy to fit into different social contexts, sometimes even lying about their cultural identity to make interactions easier. This adaptability, while useful, can also prevent TCKs from fully integrating their multiple identities.

💡Open-mindedness

Open-mindedness refers to the willingness to accept different perspectives and ideas. The speaker mentions that TCKs are often open-minded due to their exposure to diverse values, attitudes, and behaviors. This trait allows them to develop a broad worldview, which is one of the main benefits of growing up in multiple cultures.

💡Living in the Moment

'Living in the Moment' is a mindset where individuals focus on the present rather than the future. TCKs often develop this mindset because they frequently experience changes and transitions, leading them to savor the current moment. The speaker emphasizes that this sense of urgency and impermanence is another key feature of the TCK experience.

💡Cultural Misunderstanding

Cultural misunderstanding occurs when people fail to fully comprehend the complexities of someone else's cultural background. The speaker experiences this frequently when people try to categorize them into a single culture, failing to grasp their multicultural identity. This misunderstanding leads to frustration and isolation for TCKs, who feel that others do not understand their full cultural experience.

💡Intercultural Skills

Intercultural skills are the abilities to effectively communicate and interact with people from different cultures. The speaker mentions that TCKs develop these skills naturally due to their exposure to multiple cultural environments. These skills allow them to navigate different social settings with ease, making them successful in multicultural contexts.

Highlights

Third culture kids often face the challenge of answering the simple question 'Where are you from?' due to their diverse cultural backgrounds.

A third culture kid builds relationships with multiple cultures and develops a unique identity shaped by all the cultures they’ve lived in.

Third culture kids are highly adaptive, able to fit into different cultural settings and accept a wide range of values and behaviors.

They tend to develop excellent interpersonal and intercultural skills, allowing them to navigate cross-cultural interactions with ease.

Third culture kids often live in the moment, realizing that their circumstances may frequently change due to global mobility.

Famous examples of third culture kids include Barack Obama, Uma Thurman, and Freddie Mercury, each of whom had multicultural upbringings.

The cultural iceberg model highlights that surface culture (visible aspects) only scratches the surface of one’s deep cultural identity (beliefs, values).

Third culture kids may struggle to communicate effectively with family members from different cultural backgrounds, creating internal conflicts about how to act.

Cognitive misers, or people who prefer simple conclusions, may try to reduce a third culture kid’s identity to just one culture, which oversimplifies their multicultural experiences.

Third culture kids often lie or adjust their identity in social situations to fit in, becoming cultural chameleons as a result of external pressures.

This chameleon-like behavior may lead to difficulties in fully embracing all aspects of their multicultural identities.

Third culture kids may experience isolation, as people around them fail to understand their multicultural complexities.

Despite facing challenges, third culture kids benefit from their experiences by being open-minded, adaptable, and more global in their worldview.

Cultural adaptability is a double-edged sword: it allows third culture kids to navigate multiple worlds, but it may also prevent them from feeling fully grounded in any single culture.

Society should take into account the uniqueness of third culture kids and work toward better understanding and supporting their multifaceted identities.