Breaking the Silence about Childhood Trauma | Dani Bostick | TEDxGreenville
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares a personal journey of trauma and PTSD, challenging the common misconception that it only affects military veterans. They recount childhood sexual abuse and its long-term effects, emphasizing that 1 in 8 children suffer trauma severe enough to impact their mental and physical health into adulthood. The talk highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing trauma in children, suggesting community education, sharing personal stories, and being supportive allies as key steps towards creating safer environments for them.
Takeaways
- đą PTSD is not exclusive to military veterans; it can affect anyone, including children who have experienced trauma.
- đââïž The speaker's personal trauma began at a young age with sexual abuse from a swim coach, highlighting that trauma can occur in unexpected places.
- đ¶ 1 in 8 children suffer from trauma severe enough to have lasting negative effects on their mental and physical health.
- đą The impact of childhood trauma can be profound, potentially shortening a person's lifespan by up to 20 years compared to their peers.
- đ« Trauma is not limited to one type; it can result from various experiences such as accidents, illnesses, violence, or living in poverty.
- đ§ Trauma can alter the developing brain's architecture, emphasizing the importance of early intervention and support.
- đ€ The speaker's lack of awareness about PTSD and trauma during their teaching career underscores the need for better education and understanding among educators.
- đ Learning about PTSD through personal experience and clinical study helped the speaker realize the prevalence and impact of trauma.
- đ Trauma is pervasive, affecting all aspects of life, much like gravity, and is often taken for granted or misunderstood.
- đ©âđ« Schools and communities need to be more trauma-informed, providing a safe and supportive environment for children.
- đ€ Becoming allies to children who have experienced trauma involves listening, understanding, and providing a sense of safety and importance.
Q & A
What is the common misconception about PTSD mentioned in the script?
-The common misconception is that PTSD only affects veterans, particularly those from the military, and that it's something that happens far away and only to very strong people.
What personal experience does the speaker share regarding trauma?
-The speaker shares a personal experience of being sexually abused by a swim coach from the age of seven to 12, which led to their own trauma and PTSD.
How does the speaker compare trauma to gravity?
-The speaker compares trauma to gravity because, like gravity, it is a pervasive force that affects every aspect of a person's life, but is often taken for granted or goes unnoticed.
What are the potential long-term effects of childhood trauma on a person's lifespan?
-Children who suffer from trauma can expect to experience a lifespan that is 20 years shorter than their peers due to the long-lasting negative effects on both mental and physical health.
Why did the speaker not recognize their own PTSD until they were in counseling school?
-The speaker did not recognize their own PTSD until they were in counseling school because they, like many others, associated PTSD with veterans and far-away events, and did not realize it could apply to their own childhood experiences.
What is the significance of the speaker's mention of Seneca and his quote?
-The speaker mentions Seneca and his quote 'sometimes just living is an act of bravery' to emphasize the daily struggle and courage required by children and others suffering from trauma.
What are some ways that children might cope with trauma as mentioned in the script?
-Children might cope with trauma through dissociation, where they mentally leave their body to escape the reality of their situation, and by experiencing symptoms like intrusive thoughts, avoidance, nightmares, and hyper arousal.
Why is it important for schools and communities to be aware of childhood trauma?
-It is important for schools and communities to be aware of childhood trauma because it can significantly impact a child's ability to learn, form relationships, and their overall well-being, and awareness can lead to better support and understanding.
What steps does the speaker suggest to help children affected by trauma?
-The speaker suggests disseminating information about childhood trauma, sharing personal stories to raise awareness, and being an ally to children by providing support, understanding, and a safe environment.
How does the speaker's experience with reporting their childhood abuse influence their perspective on trauma?
-The speaker's experience with reporting their childhood abuse, including the response from the police, influenced their perspective on trauma by highlighting the need for understanding and support systems, as well as the importance of acknowledging and addressing past trauma.
Outlines
đ Understanding PTSD Beyond the Military
The speaker begins by challenging the common perception that PTSD is exclusive to military personnel, highlighting that it can affect anyone, including children. They share a personal story of childhood sexual abuse by a swim coach, emphasizing that trauma can happen to anyone, anywhere. The paragraph discusses the prevalence of trauma in children, noting that one in eight children experiences significant trauma leading to lifelong negative effects on mental and physical health. The speaker points out that trauma's impact is not limited to combat or abuse, but can also stem from various life events such as accidents, illness, or poverty. The paragraph concludes with the speaker questioning why they were unaware of PTSD and its symptoms despite being a teacher for a decade, suggesting a broader societal lack of awareness and education on the subject.
đ The Ubiquity of Trauma and Its Impact on Children
In this paragraph, the speaker likens trauma to gravity, a force that is omnipresent yet often goes unnoticed. They discuss how trauma affects every aspect of a person's life, including relationships and sense of time. The focus is on children, who are portrayed as a vulnerable and often overlooked group when it comes to trauma. The speaker uses the example of a child re-experiencing trauma in a school setting, where the child's fear and dissociation can lead to misunderstandings and mislabeling by educators. The paragraph also touches on the long-term consequences of childhood trauma, such as increased risks of suicidality, eating disorders, obesity, and addiction. The speaker calls for increased awareness and action, suggesting that while we cannot control all sources of trauma, we can work to make schools and communities safer and more supportive for children.
đ€ Taking Action: Spreading Awareness and Supporting Children
The final paragraph emphasizes the need for action to support children affected by trauma. The speaker suggests three key steps: disseminating information about childhood trauma to ensure it's understood and not stigmatized, sharing personal stories to create connections and reduce isolation, and being an ally to children by providing support and a safe environment. The speaker shares a personal experience of having a teacher ally at the sentencing of their abuser, highlighting the importance of such support. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for everyone to contribute to creating a better future for children with trauma, ensuring they have the chance to lead fulfilling lives.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄPost-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
đĄTrauma
đĄServicemembers
đĄPredator
đĄDissociation
đĄHyper arousal
đĄInvasive thoughts
đĄAvoidance
đĄAlly
đĄDisseminate information
đĄSuicidality
Highlights
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is commonly associated with military servicemembers, but it can affect anyone who experiences trauma.
Trauma can occur far away or close to home, and it's often discussed in a way that distances us from the reality of the experience.
The speaker shares a personal story of childhood sexual abuse by a swim coach, highlighting that PTSD can affect children too.
One in eight children suffers from trauma severe enough to have long-lasting negative effects on their mental and physical health.
Children who experience trauma can expect a lifespan that is 20 years shorter than their peers.
Trauma is not limited to combat or child sexual abuse; it can result from various experiences like accidents, illnesses, or violence.
Trauma can alter the developing brain's architecture, which is why it's crucial to address it in children.
The speaker was unaware of their own PTSD until they were in counseling school, emphasizing the lack of awareness and education about trauma.
Symptoms of PTSD include intrusive thoughts, avoidance, nightmares, and hyper arousal, which can be misunderstood or overlooked.
The speaker reports their childhood abuser to the police, illustrating the process of confronting and reporting trauma.
Trauma is likened to gravity, an ever-present force that affects every aspect of a person's life.
Children are a disenfranchised group, often misunderstood, and their experiences of trauma can be dismissed or ignored.
Dissociation is a common coping mechanism for children experiencing trauma, which can interfere with their learning and behavior in school.
The speaker calls for a national conversation about PTSD that includes children and recognizes the various forms trauma can take.
Information dissemination is crucial to understanding and addressing childhood trauma effectively.
Sharing personal stories of trauma can help others feel less alone and more understood.
Being an ally to children who have experienced trauma involves supporting them, making them feel seen and heard.
The speaker advocates for a society where all children with trauma have the chance to lead a good life.
Transcripts
[Music]
[Applause]
what do you think about when you hear
post-traumatic stress disorder military
exactly and there's a reason for that
there's a lot of servicemembers who have
PTSD and there's also another reason for
that the injury that troops suffer
happens very very far away and that
injury is happening to people we
consider heroes so that's a very very
safe way for us to talk about PTSD it's
a safe way for us to talk about trauma
because it happens far away and it's
happening to very strong people PTSD
doesn't just affect veterans however
that's me I was enrolled in gymnastics
that's right around the time I
discovered I wasn't very good at
gymnastics
because Dominique Dawes signed up for my
class
and in hindsight maybe I could have been
ok ish at gymnastics but at that time I
was like you know what this just isn't
for me so I started taking swim lessons
and I joined a swim team and that's when
my trauma began because my swim coach
was a predator and he sexually abused me
for five years from the age of seven to
around 12 so lots of people think that
PTSD is just for veterans but it can
affect children too just like it
affected me and I'm not alone in my
experience at all one in 8 children
suffers enough trauma to have long
lasting negative effects in terms of
both mental health and physical health
well into adulthood and these 1 in 8
children can expect to experience a
lifespan that is 20 years shorter than
their peers and the fact is that combat
is not the only type of trauma child
sexual abuse is not the only type of
trauma because another way we try to
make trauma okay in addition to making a
very very far away is to make it a
little less farther away but still far
away oh that happens to other people
that happens to people in different
neighborhoods well it can happen to
anyone and I'm willing to bet there's
people here who've experienced something
similar to what I've experienced and I'm
also willing to bet that there's people
here who've experienced other kinds of
trauma it could be a car accident a
serious illness witnessing a death some
type of other kind of violence living in
poverty can be a type of trauma the
stakes are extremely high for children
because trauma can change the
architecture of the developing brain and
since stakes are so high
I've always wondered why didn't I know
about this before you see I didn't know
I experienced PTSD or even trauma until
I was a student in counseling school I
had been a teacher for 10 years and had
probably seen over a thousand students I
had never learned about the symptoms of
PTSD I always thought it was for other
people far far away I never thought it
was done
thing that I had experienced and I never
thought it was something that was
affecting me every single day and I
remember sitting in that class and I'm
taking notes and I'm writing down the
symptoms intrusive thoughts mm-hmm
avoidance and I'd always called
avoidance I don't know if you can tell
I'm from the mid-atlantic region so
avoidance for me it was strength nothing
bothered me but really I was avoiding my
own reality
I also learned about nightmares I
learned about hyper arousal overreacting
emotionally to certain situations so I'm
sitting there taking notes class goes
out on a break we're all looking at each
other several of us figured out in that
class that we had PTSD and I thought why
haven't I learned about this before why
don't we talk about trauma and children
why don't we talk about trauma in other
populations so in addition to reading
the book and seeing it in a very
clinical way which is also a very safe
way to deal with trauma I learned about
PTSD by experiencing it you see around
that time I reported my childhood
perpetrator I called the police and said
this harm happened to me I know
something happened they said well what
happened I said I don't know and they
said when did it happen and I said 30
years ago and I was fully expecting to
click and the detective said next time
you're in Maryland come on and we'll
take a statement so as I process my
trauma and I processed it partially
through reporting I learned a lot and
here's what you need to know about
trauma and here's what you need to know
to help millions of children like the
child I was first of all the way I'd
like to think about trauma is like
gravity and I don't know about you but
I've never turned to somebody and said
man this gravity's amazing today check
it out this is amazing we're not
floating away my shoes are on my shirt
staying down we take gravity for granted
just like I took trauma for granted and
just like millions and millions of
people who've experienced trauma take
their post-traumatic stress for granted
it's not as them
well as having a bad memory of something
disturbing it's not as simple as having
a nightmare it pervades every aspect of
your life from relationships to your
sense of time you when you re experience
the trauma you think in what year is it
we're partying like it's 1999 again and
it's 2018 so trauma is a lot like
gravity insofar as it pervades every
aspect of a person's life and if you
think about children they're the most
disenfranchised group in our country and
in the world we like to think children
are okay we want to look at them and say
if they look okay
they must be okay but sometimes children
aren't Seneca the ancient Roman
philosopher whom I've loved I've always
loved him I'm a Latin teacher now I had
a stint as a mental health counselor and
now I teach Latin but Seneca was
suffering from a really really severe
illness and he wrote sometimes just
living is an act of bravery and that's
the case for children and anybody
suffering from trauma but if you imagine
that child in the context of school and
that child is reappear Ian Singh a
trauma and that child is literally
afraid for his or her life because
that's what it's like when you re
experienced it's well beyond a memory in
fact I don't have any memories of my
trauma I just have feelings so you're
sitting in class you thinking oh my gosh
it feels like I'm about to die and your
teacher writes up on the board here take
these notes our math back is important
when you think your survival is at stake
I'm guessing not other ways kids cope
with trauma my favorite one is
dissociation we all do it to some extent
maybe you space out you daydream in a
more extreme sense when you dissociate
because of trauma you can actually leave
your body your body's there but nobody's
home so if you imagine that in the
context of school where kids spend most
of their time what do teachers say to
kids I say it all the time
pay attention no command to pay attend
can bring a kid back out of dissociation
and then not only are they missing out
on schoolwork but then they're the kid
that never pays attention so there's
lots of symptoms to PTSD that you might
read about in a clinical way like I did
when I was in school taking notes I did
have a sinking feeling like this is
sounding very familiar but when you're
actually living it it's just like Seneca
said just living is an act of bravery so
what are some things we can do about
this I mean it's a it's affecting a lot
of people it affects a lot of children
our national conversation about PTSD
generally focuses on veterans to the
point where we know on the 4th of July
we might want to be careful with our
fireworks what do we know about a child
who's experiencing PTSD probably not
very much and that's dangerous because
these children will grow up hurting and
these children will experience higher
rates of suicidality higher rates of
eating disorder higher rates of obesity
dysfunctional relationships higher rates
of addiction so what can we do we
obviously can't control the weather if
it's a natural disaster that's a source
of the trauma we can't stop all crime
but there are some things that we can do
to make our communities and our schools
and the places where our children spend
the most time friendlier and safer for
them the first is simply to disseminate
information so when I had my children I
have four I had the furred my first
child I knew when I brought her home she
was going to cry all the time I knew she
wasn't going to smile and talk right
away there's lots of things I knew when
I get a runny nose I don't think my
brain is coming out I understand what
that's all about when we have flu
epidemics we get sheets of information
as teachers we find out how to prevent
the flu what to do if you have the flu
in
Meishan helps it helps people make sense
of the world and it helps people
understand how to react to certain
situations so we need to make sure that
information about childhood trauma isn't
relegated to universities and certainly
that's not relegated to some gimmick of
the month that's going to be popular
before the next acronym comes out we
need a sustained commitment to spreading
accurate information about childhood
trauma and that can happen in our
schools and that can also happen in our
communities doctors offices other places
children go that way people have the
information they need to understand and
experience that most people with trauma
cannot put a name to the second thing we
can do is to share our stories I share
my story so that others will share
theirs and since I've started sharing
I've met a lot of people who've
experienced the same thing as me and I
wish I had that as a child I did not
know anybody who was like me as a child
in fact I didn't know anybody like me
until I named myself as victim a in the
case against my perpetrator the third
thing we can do is to be an ally this is
my seventh grade social studies teacher
she came to the sentencing of my
perpetrator in 2014 and she was there
not just to support me as an adult but
to support that 11 year old girl who sat
in her class and she supported me then
she supported me by making me feel
important she supported me by telling me
my work was good and she supported me by
caring and providing a safe secure
environment and she did that for me at
my perpetrator sentencing so the third
thing we can do is be real allies to
children not be afraid of them not other
them not keep them at arm's length but
make them feel heard and seen and
understood I've had a good life and all
children with trauma deserve that chance
and together we can make that happen
thank you
you
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