The most important leadership quality is patience | Gabe de Jong | TEDxGroningen

TEDx Talks

6 Feb 201504:52

Summary

TLDRThe speaker shares a personal anecdote about playing hide and seek, leading to a discussion on the value of patience. They argue that our fast-paced, impatient lives hinder us from truly living and experiencing life fully. The speaker suggests that by slowing down and counting to ten, we can disengage from autopilot, reflect, and make better decisions. This practice can enhance creativity, strengthen relationships, and improve personal leadership.

Takeaways

😅 The speaker humorously recounts their first experience playing hide and seek, where they were told to count to 100 facing a tree, which took them nearly three minutes.
🤔 They discovered a trick to count to 100 quickly by counting 'one to ten' ten times, using their fingers as a mnemonic device.
🏃‍♂️ The speaker draws an analogy between the desire for speed in counting and the modern rush to get things done quickly, which can detract from the quality of life.
🚫 The script suggests that impatience can negatively impact various aspects of life, including personal growth, creativity, and relationships.
🧠 It emphasizes the importance of patience in allowing for reflection, better decision-making, and the cultivation of innovative ideas.
💡 The speaker argues that patience is a critical quality for personal leadership and can lead to a more fulfilling life.
🕒 A counterintuitive suggestion is made: to develop patience, one should practice counting to 10 slowly, which can help disengage from autopilot mode.
🤝 The script highlights how taking the time to listen patiently can strengthen relationships and allow for deeper emotional connections.
🛑 The speaker encourages the practice of counting to 10 slowly in various situations, such as making decisions or engaging in difficult conversations, to enhance clarity and empathy.
🔁 The script concludes with a call to action, inviting the audience to practice counting to 10 slowly together as a means to embody the lesson of patience.

Q & A

What trick does the speaker mention for counting to 100 quickly?
-The speaker suggests counting 'one to ten' ten times, using your ten fingers to keep track, which is a faster way to reach one hundred.
How does the speaker relate the trick of counting quickly to modern life?
-The speaker relates the quick counting trick to the impatience in modern life, where people want everything fast and are unable to wait, which can ruin the 'game of life'.
Why does the speaker believe impatience can be detrimental to our lives?
-Impatience can lead to living life on autopilot, focusing on short-term success, and not reflecting on the state of our lives, which can result in a repetitive and unfulfilling life.
When do we tend to get our best ideas according to the speaker?
-The speaker suggests that we get our best ideas when our minds are in an easy mode, such as during a shower or a walk, rather than in an autopilot or fight mode.
How does impatience affect relationships according to the script?
-Impatience can kill relationships by not allowing us to truly listen and understand others, leading to a breakdown in communication and connection.
What is the most important quality for personal leadership that the speaker emphasizes?
-The speaker emphasizes that patience is the most important quality for personal leadership.
What alternative to counting quickly does the speaker propose to improve patience?
-The speaker proposes counting to 10 slowly as a way to improve patience, which helps to disengage autopilot mode and encourages reflection and better decision-making.
How can counting to 10 slowly help in decision-making?
-Counting to 10 slowly can help in decision-making by allowing time to reflect and consider options more thoroughly, leading to better choices.
What benefits does the speaker attribute to counting to 10 slowly in terms of creativity?
-Counting to 10 slowly can help in creativity by allowing the mind to relax and potentially generate new ideas without immediately dismissing them.
How does the speaker suggest counting to 10 slowly can improve communication in relationships?
-Counting to 10 slowly can improve communication by encouraging active listening and giving others the space to express themselves, which can strengthen relationships.

Outlines

00:00

🌳 The Lesson of Patience in Life

The speaker recounts a childhood memory of playing hide and seek where they were instructed to count to 100 before starting the search. They discovered a trick to count quickly by using their fingers to count 'one to ten' repeatedly, which led to a realization about the desire for speed in modern life. This impatience, they argue, can ruin the 'game' of life, as it prevents us from living deliberately and reflecting on our actions. The speaker suggests that patience is a crucial quality for personal leadership and that practicing patience, such as counting to 10 slowly, can lead to better decision-making, creativity, and stronger relationships.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Patience

Patience is the ability to remain calm, steadfast, and tolerant despite difficulties or delays. In the context of the video, patience is presented as a critical quality for personal leadership and for living a fulfilling life. The speaker emphasizes that impatience can lead to rushing through life on 'autopilot,' missing out on the hidden opportunities and the beauty of the present moment. The video suggests that by practicing patience, one can make better decisions, foster creativity, and build stronger relationships.

💡Autopilot

The term 'autopilot' refers to a state of mind where one operates mechanically or habitually without conscious thought or attention. In the video, it is used metaphorically to describe a mode of living where individuals go through the motions of life without truly engaging or reflecting on their actions. The speaker suggests that this mode can prevent personal growth and the achievement of one's potential, as it leads to a lack of mindfulness and a failure to appreciate the present.

💡Impatience

Impatience is the state of being unable to wait calmly or being overly eager for something to happen. The video script highlights impatience as a hindrance to living a meaningful life. It is portrayed as a force that disrupts relationships, stifles creativity, and leads to a repetitive, unfulfilling existence. The speaker contrasts impatience with the benefits of taking time to reflect and engage deeply with life's experiences.

💡Counting to 100

In the video, 'counting to 100' is used as a metaphor for the speaker's initial approach to the game of hide and seek, which was to count to 100 before starting to search. This action symbolizes the speaker's initial lack of strategy and patience. Later, the speaker discovers a trick to count quickly, which serves as a metaphor for the fast-paced, impatient lifestyle that many people lead. The video contrasts this with the idea of counting to 10 slowly, which represents a more mindful and patient approach to life.

💡Counting to 10 slowly

The concept of 'counting to 10 slowly' is introduced as a technique to practice patience and mindfulness. It is suggested as a method to disengage from the autopilot mode of living and to engage more deeply with one's thoughts, decisions, and interactions with others. The video implies that by taking the time to count slowly, one can reveal hidden insights, foster creativity, and improve relationships by truly listening to others.

💡Mindfulness

Mindfulness refers to the practice of being fully present and engaged in the moment, rather than being distracted by thoughts of the past or future. The video advocates for mindfulness as a way to counteract the negative effects of impatience and autopilot living. By being mindful, one can make more conscious decisions, appreciate the present, and enhance the quality of personal relationships.

💡Relationships

Relationships are the connections and interactions between individuals. In the video, the speaker discusses how impatience can be detrimental to these connections, leading to a breakdown in communication and understanding. The video suggests that by practicing patience and truly listening to others, one can strengthen and nurture these relationships, allowing for deeper emotional connections and support.

💡Creativity

Creativity is the use of imagination or original ideas to create something; it is often associated with the generation of new ideas or solutions. The video script implies that creativity is stifled by impatience and the autopilot mode of living. The speaker suggests that by slowing down and counting to 10, one can enter a more relaxed state of mind where creativity can flourish, leading to the generation of innovative ideas.

💡Decision-making

Decision-making is the process of making choices by considering available information and possible consequences. The video emphasizes the importance of patience in decision-making, suggesting that rushing through this process can lead to poor choices and missed opportunities. By taking the time to count to 10 slowly, individuals can reflect on their options more thoroughly, leading to better and more informed decisions.

💡Personal Leadership

Personal leadership refers to the ability to guide oneself effectively towards achieving personal goals and living a meaningful life. The video positions patience as a key quality of personal leadership, arguing that it enables individuals to navigate life more effectively, make better decisions, and achieve a higher quality of life. The speaker suggests that cultivating patience can lead to a more intentional and fulfilling life.

Highlights

The speaker shares a personal anecdote about playing hide and seek, highlighting the importance of patience.

A trick for counting to a hundred quickly is introduced, emphasizing the desire for speed in our lives.

The analogy between counting quickly and the impatience prevalent in modern life is drawn.

Impatience is identified as a factor that can ruin the 'game' of life.

The concept of living life on autopilot due to impatience is discussed.

The importance of reflecting on the state of our lives is emphasized.

The idea that creativity is stifled by impatience and autopilot mode is presented.

The speaker suggests that the best ideas come when the mind is relaxed, not in fight mode.

Impatience is described as detrimental to relationships, advocating for active listening.

The need for patience in personal leadership is highlighted as a key quality.

An easy method to cultivate patience is proposed: counting to 10 slowly.

Counting to 10 slowly can help disengage autopilot and encourage reflection.

The practice of counting to 10 slowly can lead to better decision-making.

Counting to 10 slowly can enhance creativity by allowing ideas to form without immediate dismissal.

The act of counting to 10 slowly can improve communication and understanding in relationships.

A call to action is made to practice counting to 10 slowly to enhance decision-making, creativity, and relationships.

The speaker leads a practice session of counting to 10 slowly to demonstrate its effectiveness.