dyeing my hair & LIFE UPDATE: why i moved out, dw i went to the hospital im ok now

Summary

In this emotional video, the creator candidly discusses their struggles with mental health, including suicidal thoughts and attempts, amidst personal and family conflicts. They share their journey of seeking help, coping with a separation from their spouse, and navigating a strained relationship with their mother. The video also touches on their experience with a new medication, Abilify, and the challenges they face in balancing their educational responsibilities with their mental well-being.

Takeaways

• 😔 The speaker is struggling with suicidal thoughts and has attempted suicide multiple times in the past six months.
• 💊 They mention taking a new medication, Abilify, which they find helpful and have started recently.
• 🏠 The speaker has moved to a friend's house, seeking a change of environment due to feeling trapped and unwell at home.
• 👩‍❤️‍👨 They are currently separated from their husband, Michael, due to emotional distress and conflicts in their relationship.
• 🚫 The speaker has a no-contact order with their mother due to harassment and unwanted contact.
• 👩‍🏫 They express frustration with a professor who did not acknowledge their excused absences and threatened them with failing the course.
• 👩‍🦰 The speaker is undergoing a hair treatment process and shares their experience with a L'Oreal product.
• 🤝 They mention making new friends and the importance of surrounding themselves with supportive people.
• 💔 The speaker feels unloved and unsupported by their husband, which contributes to their emotional distress.
• 🏥 They have been admitted to a psychiatric ward and are receiving help from various professionals, including Child Protection Services.
• 📚 The speaker is dealing with academic challenges, including a missed exam and issues with a professor regarding attendance policies.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video script?

The main theme of the video script revolves around the creator's struggles with mental health, suicidal thoughts, and her attempts to cope with personal issues including a strained relationship with her husband and family.

How many times has the creator attempted suicide in the last six months according to the script?

The creator initially exaggerates the number of suicide attempts but then clarifies that it has been around 20 times in the last six months.

What is the significance of the 'casting gloss' mentioned in the script?

The 'casting gloss' is a hair product from L'Oreal that the creator uses in the video. It is made of 90% natural ingredients and is part of her attempt to blend a demarcation line in her hair.

What is the creator's current marital status as described in the script?

The creator is currently separated from her husband, Michael, due to her mental health struggles and the desire for more personal freedom and less control.

What is the 'no contact order' mentioned by the creator?

The 'no contact order' is a request made by the creator to her mother to cease all forms of contact, including messages, calls, and visits, as part of her quest for peace and to stop the harassment she feels she is experiencing.

How does the creator describe her relationship with her mother?

The creator describes her relationship with her mother as abusive, with a history of physical violence during her childhood and ongoing emotional distress due to her mother's controlling behavior.

What is the creator's view on her husband's support for her?

The creator feels that her husband does not support her in the way she needs, often rationalizing his actions and not acknowledging her feelings, which contributes to her feelings of depression and suicidal thoughts.

What is the significance of the 'Dear Diary' reference in the script?

The 'Dear Diary' reference is an allusion to a children's book that the creator cannot fully recall. It seems to symbolize a longing for a simpler time or a different life trajectory.

What is the creator's attitude towards her friends and social life?

The creator values her friends and is making an effort to choose her own friends, rather than those chosen for her or approved by her family. She appreciates the support and understanding they provide.

How does the creator describe her experience with Child Protection Services (CPS)?

The creator acknowledges that CPS is now involved due to her suicidal behavior in front of her children. She sees this as a positive development, as it is providing her with resources and ensuring she gets the help she needs.

What is the creator's current educational situation?

The creator is dealing with academic challenges, including missed exams and issues with a professor regarding absences and grading. She is also dealing with the potential impact of her hospitalization on her studies.

What is the creator's perspective on her self-esteem and self-worth?

The creator recognizes that she has low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth, which has led her to deny her own needs and desires. She is now trying to change this by making decisions for herself and living according to her own values.