This Is Why So Many Women Are Single
Summary
TLDRIn this video, Courtney Ryan discusses a refreshing perspective on dating dynamics, challenging the common excuse that men are 'intimidated' by successful women. She argues that it's more about attitude and compatibility than financial success or status. Courtney emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, personal growth, and taking accountability for one's role in failed relationships, rather than blaming external factors. She also touches on societal expectations and the reality that men and women often seek different qualities in a partner.
Takeaways
- 🌟 Courtney Ryan introduces a video she found on Tick Tock that challenges the common narrative that men are intimidated by successful women.
- 🙅♀️ The video emphasizes that men typically end relationships or ghost not because they're intimidated, but because of other reasons, such as compatibility issues.
- 💼 Courtney reflects on her own past, where she was once told that men were intimidated by her success and independence, which she now recognizes as a misconception.
- 🤔 The speaker in the video suggests that men might not prefer argumentative or highly opinionated women, or those who prioritize work and independence over partnership.
- 💡 It's posited that the only times men might be intimidated are if there's a significant disparity in success or attractiveness, which is not the norm in most dating scenarios.
- 👏 Courtney praises the Tick Tock video creator for her self-awareness and accountability, which contrasts with the usual narrative found on social media.
- 🚫 The video criticizes the tendency for women to label men's disinterest as intimidation, which Courtney views as an excuse to avoid personal responsibility for relationship failures.
- 🤝 Courtney discusses 'hypergamy', the tendency for women to seek men of equal or greater financial success, and how this affects relationship dynamics and satisfaction.
- 💰 She argues that men generally do not prioritize a woman's financial success in the same way women might prioritize a man's, and that attitude and compatibility are more important.
- 👫 Courtney highlights the importance of friends being honest with each other about relationship issues, rather than perpetuating myths or making excuses.
- 🔍 The video encourages self-reflection and personal growth, suggesting that taking accountability for one's part in relationship failures is crucial for improvement.
- 📉 Courtney mentions a statistic about an increasing number of women projected to be single and childless by 2030, which she links to a lack of personal accountability and unrealistic expectations in dating.
Q & A
What is the main topic discussed in Courtney Ryan's video?
-The main topic discussed in the video is the misconception that men end or ghost relationships because they are intimidated by the woman's success or personality traits.
What does Courtney Ryan believe is a common excuse given by women when relationships don't work out?
-Courtney Ryan believes that a common excuse given by women when relationships don't work out is that the man is intimidated by the woman's success or strong personality.
What does Courtney Ryan suggest is the real reason men might end a relationship with a successful woman?
-Courtney suggests that the real reason men might end a relationship is not intimidation, but rather the woman's attitude, behavior, or personality traits that are not appealing to the man.
What is Courtney Ryan's view on the importance of self-awareness and accountability in personal growth and relationships?
-Courtney Ryan emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and accountability for personal growth and relationships, stating that acknowledging one's own flaws and taking responsibility for them is key to becoming a better person and partner.
Why does Courtney Ryan think women often blame men for being intimidated when relationships fail?
-Courtney Ryan thinks women often blame men for being intimidated as a way to protect their own ego and avoid taking responsibility for the failure of the relationship.
What does Courtney Ryan argue is a myth about men's preferences in relationships?
-Courtney Ryan argues that the idea that men are intimidated by successful women is a myth, and that men are more likely to be put off by a woman's bad attitude or lack of likability.
What is the term 'hypergamy' as mentioned in the video, and how does it relate to women's dating preferences?
-Hypergamy refers to the tendency of women to seek partners who are at their level or above them in terms of financial or social status. Courtney Ryan discusses this as a common dating preference among women.
According to Courtney Ryan, what is the typical reaction of women when they are told they might be the problem in a relationship?
-Courtney Ryan states that women often react defensively or with denial when told they might be the problem in a relationship, which can hinder their personal growth and understanding of the relationship dynamics.
What does Courtney Ryan suggest is a healthier approach to understanding relationship failures?
-Courtney Ryan suggests a healthier approach is to take accountability for one's actions and attitudes in a relationship, and to look for ways to improve oneself rather than blaming the other person.
How does Courtney Ryan describe the role of friends in reinforcing the 'intimidation' excuse?
-Courtney Ryan describes friends as often enabling the 'intimidation' excuse by agreeing with it and not challenging the woman to consider her own role in the relationship's failure.
What is Courtney Ryan's advice for women who are struggling with dating and finding the right partner?
-Courtney Ryan advises women to reflect on their own attitudes and behaviors, to have realistic expectations, and to understand that men and women often value different things in a relationship.
Outlines
😀 Challenging the 'Intimidation' Excuse
Courtney Ryan introduces a video that challenges the common belief that men end or ghost relationships because they are intimidated by successful women. She reflects on her own past experiences and the realization that men are not intimidated by strong women, but rather, they may not be compatible due to personality traits or life priorities. Courtney emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and personal growth, rather than blaming men for relationship failures.
🤔 The Myth of Hypergamy and Accountability
This paragraph delves into the concept of hypergamy, where women tend to seek men of equal or greater financial and success levels. Courtney discusses the negative impact on relationship satisfaction when women out-earn their partners and argues that men are not deterred by a woman's success. She stresses that women often lack accountability for their actions and attitudes in relationships, which can hinder personal growth and the development of healthier relationships. Courtney calls for honesty and self-reflection among women to break the cycle of self-deception and victim mentality.
👍 Embracing Personal Growth and Realistic Expectations
Courtney concludes by advocating for personal accountability and the acknowledgment of one's role in relationship dynamics. She emphasizes the importance of understanding that both men and women have different priorities and desires in relationships. Courtney also touches on the potential societal implications of singlehood and the importance of setting realistic expectations in dating. She encourages viewers to be self-aware and to grow from their experiences, rather than perpetuating the myth that men are intimidated by successful women.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Intimidation
💡Accountability
💡Success
💡Hypergamy
💡Personality
💡Independence
💡Femininity
💡Relationship Dynamics
💡Unlikability
💡Self-Awareness
💡Friendship and Support
Highlights
Courtney Ryan introduces a refreshing perspective on the common excuse that men are 'intimidated' by successful women.
The video challenges the misconception that men end relationships or ghost women due to intimidation by their success.
Courtney shares her own past experiences and the realization that men leave not because of intimidation, but due to other factors such as attitude.
The video emphasizes that successful men are not intimidated by successful women, but rather may be put off by negative personality traits.
Courtney argues that the idea of men being intimidated is a common but misguided belief that prevents women from taking personal accountability.
The video discusses the concept of hypergamy and how women often seek men who are at their level or above in terms of success.
It is statistically noted that only 22% of women out-earn their husbands, and this dynamic can affect relationship satisfaction.
Courtney points out that men value qualities like peace and a good attitude over financial success in a partner.
The video addresses the issue of women not holding each other accountable and the role of friends in reinforcing the intimidation excuse.
Courtney encourages women to take responsibility for their part in relationship failures instead of blaming external factors.
The importance of self-awareness and personal growth is highlighted as key to improving one's dating life and relationships.
The video touches on the unrealistic expectations some women have for their partners, which may contribute to relationship struggles.
Courtney discusses the rarity of finding a partner who meets certain financial or success criteria and the need for realistic standards.
The video concludes by emphasizing the value of taking accountability for one's actions and attitudes in dating and relationships.
Courtney invites viewers to subscribe and follow her on social media for more content on personal growth and relationship advice.
Transcripts
hi everyone welcome back to my channel
if you're new here I'm Courtney Ryan and
I stumbled upon this Gem of a video over
on Tick Tock and when I saw it I was one
of the first people to see it it didn't
have a ton of likes or views or comments
or anything like that but I just thought
it was so refreshing as a woman to hear
another woman saying this and I'm sure
that as mostly men watching you will
find this refreshing too so I'm going to
show you guys just so that we're all on
the same page and then we're going to
talk about it we need to have a chat and
don't get mad at me think of me like
your older sister in there it says he's
not intimidated by you on the top of the
video
that I've already experienced this
learned the lesson myself so now I just
want to teach you the lesson so that you
can be honest with yourself
um
a man did not end things with you or
ghost you because he's too intimidated
by you stop convincing yourself of that
stop letting your friends convince you
of that people used to say that to me so
I used to say it all the time when
things didn't work out with a guy I've
been pretty successful from from a
pretty young age and one of the things
about me at that time was that like I
made it my whole personality trait like
didn't need anybody for anything work
like came first
um I just I was a little more on the
like argumentative like highly
opinionated which I am a highly
opinionated person but like it was just
a different way and people used to say
that to me oh well they're just so
intimidated by you and I ate that [ __ ]
up until finally it came to my senses
and matured and I was like well I'm not
dating insecure men
so I don't think that the man I date who
are like successful have their [ __ ]
together you know pretty confident are
ending it with me because they're like
they're they're intimidated I think I'm
too good for that I just don't think
that that's necessarily true what I've
learned and realized is that
they just don't like it like if you are
argumentative why would they spend their
time with you when there's someone else
who's not or if your whole life is about
not meeting anybody and just like oh I
can do this I can do that because I'm
like so successful and work is
everything to me and I'm like why would
they want that in a partner when they're
someone who's more like open to being
like a team rather than so like
independent
um the only time it'd probably be true
if a man was
intimidated by you would be if he had
significantly less going for him than
you do like successful you make a ton of
money you travel you live in a nice
place whatever and he's like between
jobs and lives with his parents like
doesn't have a steady income or if
you're like 10 out of 10 like stunning
model most beautiful girl he's ever seen
and he's like
unhealthy
unattractive like
never been with someone that looks like
you so he like gets intimidated and
unfortunately like psyches himself out
maybe in that case but chances are
that's not what your dating Dynamic is
and it's just that your personality
isn't for him
like it but he's not intimidated by you
love this girl wish that I could give
her a hug because I have never heard
another woman say this especially on
Tick Tock normally it's the strong
independent boss babes that don't need
no man and if you say something like
this you are ridiculed and attacked and
called to pick me or misogynist in the
comment section which very well could be
happening I don't know because I haven't
gone to check the current status of the
video because as I mentioned I saw this
when it was first posted
um but it's just insane she's 100
correct the accountability that she's
taking here talking about her past and
the way that she's you know matured and
realized this is just so self-aware and
again just so refreshing to hear and
she's someone who has a female following
which is even better to see I cannot
tell you how many times I have heard
women say well guys just don't like me
because they're too intimidated by me or
I'm intimidating or things didn't work
out because he was you know intimidated
by my success and I made too much money
for him and blah blah blah men don't
care how much money you're making that's
a woman thing that women care about in
men so then when we're dating we think
that men care about the same things that
we do when in reality not even close and
they just don't like you probably
because if you're approaching dating
with this I'm too intimidating mindset
or you are an independent boss baby that
don't need no man he doesn't like that
about you and you have a bad attitude
and you're just not very likable I did a
video reacting over on Tick Tock to a
woman saying
um why have you wondered why men are
choosing Wonder Bread women basically
saying do you wonder why men choose
average women over you when you are a
Divine French croissant basically high
maintenance and all of this stuff and it
has nothing to do with the fact that
these women are not as good as you it's
just that they don't like you and by
saying that a man doesn't like you
because they're too intimidated by you
or you're too good for them or you're
too high maintenance it's just honestly
a cop-out for bad behavior
it's a way to take no accountability for
yourself and the fact that you might
just not be very likable and in the
Wonder Bread croissant case I think if
you have to put another woman down to
feel better about yourself and why
things aren't working out for you that
tells you all you need to know about
yourself and the growth that you need to
be taking but in this case I think it's
great that you know she was able to say
men are not intimidated by me
they just maybe didn't like me because I
had a bad attitude if you are a boss
babe with a bad attitude you've got
princess mentality and want people to
treat you like you're up on a pedestal
all the time or you're independent and
don't need no man those are probably the
reasons why the men don't like you not
because they're intimidated by you the
first thing I want to talk about here is
that women tend to go for men who are
either at their level financially or
success wise or above them this is
hypergamy it's real it's true it's not
some myth made up by you know people on
the internet this is a real thing that
we do biologically
statistically it's safe for me to say
this only 22 percent of women out earn
their husbands and as women out earn
their husbands their relationship
satisfaction tends to decrease for
themselves and also the man that they're
with why because women typically want to
be with someone who is at their level or
above as I mentioned now this is not the
case for every single woman on the
planet there are women out there dating
men who make less or are less successful
it's just the way that it is right so
again statistically here it's safe for
me to say that them being intimidated by
you is not the reason because you're not
dating men who are less successful than
you or who make less money than you and
as I touched on earlier in the video the
reality is that men don't care how much
money a woman is making that's not
something that's on their list of things
that they're looking for men want
someone who is going to bring peace into
their life instead of constant chaos or
a bad attitude or a princess mentality
you can be a very successful woman and
men will like you if you have a good
attitude and you're not a brat if you're
a woman who is well off you know
financially maybe you're very successful
and you're dating men who are at your
level or above well then those men that
you're dating also have more options in
women why would a man choose to be with
a woman who has a bad attitude and acts
like she doesn't need him in the first
place or even want him a lot of the time
I'm not saying that women should not be
successful or financially stable
themselves I think it's a wonderful
thing but I think it's important to also
know why things are not working out for
you instead of just you know making it a
cop-out and saying oh well they're too
intimidated by me because that's
absolutely
99.9 of the time not the reason why it's
because you're going after men who are
at your level or above which if you're
you know doing well off financially and
you're successful that's probably pretty
high up so right off the bat you're
limiting your pool of men to choose from
so if you can't find someone that could
be a reason why and then secondly here
when you're dating men of that caliber
they have more women to choose from so
they're not going to choose the one with
the bad attitude who sucks because
there's plenty of financially
independent women who do well and are
successful that have a great attitude
whom I embrace their femininity who take
care of themselves physically mentally
emotionally who you know are supportive
and encouraging and bring peace instead
of chaos and a good attitude and another
thing I want to talk about here is that
women don't really hold each other
accountable and she mentioned in the
video that when she would tell her
friends that she you know got broken up
with or things didn't work out they
would say oh well he's just intimidated
by you or oh you're too good for him and
then you tell yourself that to feel
better about why things didn't work out
for you and then you don't end up
growing or evolving or becoming a better
person because you're just never taking
accountability or responsibility for the
fact that you might be the problem and I
think that women really do their friends
such a disservice by lying about this
and obviously some of them truly believe
it like they don't think that they're
the issue this is a common thing that we
see but a lot of them just are lying we
coddle feelings and we hype our friends
up when things aren't working out
instead of just being really honest and
blunt with them and that's because women
don't really respond well when you tell
them maybe you're the problem and I know
this from personal experience having
women friends I was always the friend
and sometimes this didn't land well to
be honest with you a lot of times people
would be scared to tell me things
because I was very honest and blunt and
to the point I was never mean about it
but I was just always very honest I
would not sugarcoat it because I don't
think that helps but then after the fact
they would be like wow I'm so glad that
I listened to you I'm so glad that I
came to you with this and asked for your
opinion because I didn't see things that
way before and I do this because I would
hope that my friends would do that for
me you know if I was in a situation
where I was dating around and I was
having no success and things maybe
weren't working out for me and I told my
friends about it and they said to me oh
well all those men suck or men are trash
and you're too good for them they're
just intimidated by you they would be
lying because if everything's not
working out with everyone
I'm the common denominator in that and
clearly I am playing a role in doing
something wrong so as a friend it's
helpful to just be honest so that your
friends can grow you know what happens
when you're honest with your friends
they grow they evolve they become better
because they aren't constantly stuck in
a cycle of playing the victim and being
woe is me and pointing their finger at
everyone instead of taking
accountability for themselves and their
actions and understanding that they are
the common denominator in every
relationship they have and they might in
fact be a part of the problem it's okay
to acknowledge that we are not perfect
and we have room to improve and there
are things that are maybe a little bit
unlikable about ourselves there's no
shame in admitting that we're human at
taking accountability and responsibility
is how we become a better version of
ourselves for ourselves obviously but
also for the people around us it's how
you become a better daughter a better
son a better sister a better brother a
better partner romantically so by never
owning up to being part of the problem
or by pointing your finger at every man
in the world and saying all of you say
duck and I'm not the issue you're doing
yourself a huge disservice and as a
woman who makes content for mostly men I
can say this from my own personal
experience making this kind of content
and interacting with people you know
just because you disagree with a woman
doesn't mean that you're misogynistic or
like a patriarchy problem Sometimes
women are wrong
sorry I love women I really do but if
you're wrong I'm gonna tell you that
you're wrong I'm not going to sugarcoat
it because that doesn't help you or any
of the other women who are all lying to
themselves and long term it's really so
much more beneficial to see the areas
where you can improve as a person as a
partner whether that be with a
friendship romantically
so that you can end up in a better
situation and relationship and I think
it's super helpful when you're dating to
understand that men and women are often
looking for different things of course
there might be some overlap here and
there but
men don't care how much money you're
making women care how much money men
make and they're probably not
intimidated by you because you aren't
even dating men who would feel the need
to be intimidated by you I think the
statistic is like 45 percent of women
are projected to be single and childless
by the year 2030 and to be honest I'm
not totally surprised by that I think so
many people are single and will remain
single because they never take
accountability or acknowledge that
they're part of the problem and it's
always everyone else's fault but theirs
and that's not going to land you into a
healthy relationship I've also noticed
from bringing a lot of other women on my
channel and doing interviews and talking
to all different kinds of people that
women a lot of the times don't know how
rare it is what they're asking for and
I'll ask them like how much money do you
want your partner to make and they say
three hundred thousand dollars at 29
years old and not even realizing or
understanding how rare it is what
they're asking for and it's literally
like a one percent man I think a lot of
people have incredibly unrealistic
expectations and standards for what they
want their part partner to be like and
then hold themselves to very low
standards or in this case think that
just because they make a lot of money
that they are automatically very
desirable to men and the truth is that
men could not care any less about that
most of the time a lot of men and women
just value different things and that's
okay there's nothing wrong with that and
again I think it's really helpful to
know that if you're someone who is
single or struggling with dating or
wondering why things aren't working out
for you there's a ton of reasons why
people are single and I'm not going to
go super into it in this video because
I've covered it extensively in the past
I can make more videos about this in the
future but really I wanted this video to
be about the fact that it was so
refreshing to see someone share their
own experience and growth and
acknowledge the fact that sometimes
people just don't like you maybe it's
because you have a bad attitude or
you've got things that you need to work
on but by saying that you know it's the
other person's problem or you're never
the problem really just does yourself
such a disservice so I hope you guys
like this video and found it helpful if
you did be sure to give it a thumbs up
and subscribe to my channel to be in the
loop for when I release new content if
you haven't already be sure to follow me
over on Instagram at Courtney Christine
Ryan I love connecting with all of you
guys over on there as well as always
thank you all so much for watching and I
will see you all next time
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