you left jesus. what do you believe now?

Summary

The speaker reflects on their journey away from Christianity, embracing ambiguity and uncertainty in their beliefs. They express admiration for those with unwavering faith but find value in evolution and questioning. Identifying as a skeptic with a naturalistic inclination, they acknowledge a lingering desire to believe despite not actively pursuing it. The speaker likens their spiritual exploration to being 'spiritually single,' open to experiences without forcing belief, and finds comfort in the idea of letting insights come naturally rather than desperately seeking them.

Takeaways

• 🌏 The speaker expresses a fondness for anaerobic beings and coffee beans from the East African region, particularly Kenyan and Ethiopian beans.
• 📜 The script acknowledges that Ethiopia is known for being the birthplace of coffee, which is a point of pride for the country.
• 🤔 The speaker grapples with the question of belief, especially after leaving Christianity, and emphasizes the importance of personal journey and evolution in beliefs.
• 🛑 The speaker rejects the idea of rigidity in belief systems and suggests that change and adaptation are natural parts of personal growth.
• 🏠 Drawing a parallel to an 'Army brat', the speaker describes feeling transient and unsettled in their current beliefs, much like someone who frequently moves.
• 🚫 The speaker clearly states they no longer believe in Christianity as they once did, specifically rejecting the faith's doctrines and teachings.
• 🧐 The speaker identifies as a natural skeptic, particularly towards supernatural claims and experiences that cannot be verified.
• 🌱 Despite leaning towards naturalism and atheism, the speaker does not label themselves as an atheist, acknowledging a lingering desire to believe.
• 💭 The speaker finds it tiresome to not believe in certain spiritual concepts and expresses a longing for a more open-minded and exploratory mindset.
• 🔍 The speaker compares actively seeking belief to searching for lost keys, suggesting that sometimes ceasing the search allows for unexpected insights and realizations.
• 🕊️ The speaker is currently in a 'single season' spiritually, embracing the uncertainty and openness of not having a defined belief system.

Q & A

What is the speaker's favorite type of coffee and why?

The speaker's favorite type of coffee is from the East African region, specifically Kenyan and Ethiopian beans, which they describe as 'stupendous'.

Why is Ethiopia significant in the context of coffee?

Ethiopia is significant because it is credited with being the birthplace of coffee, where the first coffee beans were discovered.

What does the speaker imply about their language regarding their process out of faith?

The speaker implies that their language may be ambiguous and could annoy or frustrate some Christians, as it does not provide clear-cut answers about their beliefs post-Christianity.

What does the speaker mean by 'my journey is not over' in the context of their beliefs?

The speaker means that their personal journey of belief and understanding is ongoing, and they have not reached a final conclusion or destination in their beliefs.

How does the speaker view the virtue of unwavering belief in a specific doctrine?

The speaker does not view unwavering belief in a specific doctrine as a virtue, suggesting that evolution and change in beliefs are natural and not necessarily negative.

What is the speaker's view on the stability of beliefs compared to their own transient state?

The speaker admires those with stable beliefs but also acknowledges their own transient state, feeling somewhat unsettled without a clear 'home' in terms of beliefs.

What is the speaker's current stance on Christianity?

The speaker no longer believes in Christianity as the way, the truth, and the life, and does not believe in Jesus as previously understood within the Christian faith.

What is the speaker's natural inclination towards claims of the supernatural?

The speaker is a natural skeptic and tends to view claims of the supernatural, mysticism, or unverifiable spiritual experiences with skepticism.

Why does the speaker hesitate to label themselves as an atheist?

The speaker hesitates to label themselves as an atheist because they do not actively pursue unbelief in God, and there is a part of them that still wants to believe.

How does the speaker feel about the idea of being 'spiritually single'?

The speaker is okay with being 'spiritually single,' comparing it to being in a single season of life, and is open to whatever might come in the future.

What analogy does the speaker use to describe their current approach to spirituality?

The speaker uses the analogy of lucid dreaming and the behavior of their niece to describe their approach to spirituality, suggesting that by not actively seeking it, they may attract it more naturally.

Outlines

00:00

☕ Ethiopian Coffee and Personal Beliefs

The speaker begins by expressing admiration for East African coffee beans, particularly from Kenya and Ethiopia, and shares an interesting fact about the origin of coffee in Ethiopia. The discussion then transitions to the speaker's journey of leaving Christianity, addressing questions about their current beliefs. They emphasize the ongoing nature of their spiritual journey and the importance of being open to change and growth.

05:01

🕊️ Skepticism and Belief in Spirituality

The speaker elaborates on their skepticism towards mysticism, spirituality, and supernatural claims, noting a tendency towards naturalism. They discuss the difficulty of labeling themselves as an atheist due to an underlying desire to believe in something. The speaker shares a conversation with a friend about past lives, expressing frustration with their predisposition to disbelief but also acknowledging a weariness of this skepticism.

10:03

🔍 The Search for Meaning and Acceptance of Uncertainty

The speaker reflects on the concept of searching for meaning and how sometimes giving up the search can lead to unexpected discoveries. They compare this to losing and finding keys, suggesting that stopping the active search can allow things to appear naturally. The speaker relates this to their spiritual journey, noting that becoming too aware can disrupt the natural flow of experiences. They conclude by accepting the current uncertainty in their beliefs and the importance of embracing a 'single' season in their spiritual life.

Keywords

💡Anaerobic beings

This term refers to organisms that can thrive in environments without oxygen. In the context of the video, it's used metaphorically to express the speaker's fondness for a particular type of coffee, which is a surprising and unexpected preference, much like the admiration for anaerobic life forms.

💡East African region of beans

This phrase specifies a geographical region known for its coffee beans. The speaker uses this term to highlight their preference for coffee beans from Kenya and Ethiopia, which are part of the East African region, and to emphasize the quality of coffee from this area.

💡Ethiopia

Ethiopia is mentioned as the birthplace of coffee. The speaker uses this historical fact to establish a connection between the origins of coffee and the quality of Ethiopian coffee beans, reinforcing the theme of appreciation for coffee from specific regions.

💡Christianity

Christianity is a central theme in the video, as the speaker discusses their departure from the faith. The term is used to explore the speaker's past beliefs and the process of questioning and ultimately leaving those beliefs behind.

💡Faith

Faith is discussed in terms of certainty and commitment to a set of beliefs. The speaker contrasts the traditional Christian view of unwavering faith with their own evolving beliefs and the ambiguity of their current spiritual state.

💡Ambiguity

Ambiguity is used to describe the speaker's current spiritual and philosophical stance. It reflects the uncertainty and openness of their beliefs, as well as the difficulty in defining their exact position on spirituality and religion.

💡Skepticism

Skepticism is a key aspect of the speaker's approach to spirituality and belief. They mention being a 'natural-born skeptic' and their tendency to question supernatural claims, which is central to their journey away from Christianity.

💡Atheism

Atheism is mentioned as a tendency the speaker has but does not fully embrace. The speaker explains that while they lean towards naturalism and skepticism, they do not actively pursue disbelief in God, indicating a nuanced position on spirituality.

💡Spirituality

Spirituality is a broad concept discussed in the video, referring to the speaker's search for meaning beyond traditional religious beliefs. It is used to describe the speaker's current state of exploration and openness to experiences that may not fit within the framework of organized religion.

💡Belief

Belief is a recurring theme in the video, with the speaker reflecting on what they currently believe and do not believe. The term is used to explore the fluidity of belief systems and the speaker's personal journey through doubt and uncertainty.

💡Single season

The term 'single season' is used metaphorically to describe the speaker's current spiritual state of being 'spiritually single,' indicating a period of exploration and self-discovery without being tied to a specific belief system or religious identity.

Highlights

The speaker expresses a deep appreciation for anaerobic beings and East African coffee beans, particularly Kenyan and Ethiopian beans.

Ethiopia is credited with the origination of coffee beans, which is a point of pride for the speaker.

The speaker acknowledges the ambiguity in their language regarding their process out of faith and the potential annoyance it causes to some Christians.

A reiteration of the importance of not knowing one's destination in life, as it allows for personal growth and change.

The speaker reflects on the virtue of unwavering belief in a specific doctrine within Christianity and their evolving perspective on it.

A comparison of the speaker's current state of belief to the transient lifestyle of 'Army brats', highlighting the unsettling nature of uncertainty.

The speaker admires those who have found a stable belief system but also values the journey of personal evolution.

A critique of the expectation to hold a firm belief system and the speaker's departure from Christianity.

The speaker's skepticism towards mysticism, spirituality, and the supernatural, and their naturalist tendencies.

An admission of the speaker's struggle with disbelief and the desire to believe in something beyond the natural world.

A discussion on the human tendency to personify and attribute agency to inanimate things or events, particularly within the black community.

The speaker's observation that non-belief is still seen as unusual and often met with curiosity or suspicion by others.

An analogy comparing the search for spiritual belief to looking for lost keys, suggesting that sometimes surrendering the search can lead to unexpected insights.

The speaker's current stance of being 'spiritually single', embracing the uncertainty and open-endedness of their belief system.

A reflection on the idea that spirituality and wisdom may come when one is not actively seeking them, similar to finding lost items.

The speaker's comparison of their spiritual journey to lucid dreaming, where awareness and surrender can lead to profound experiences.

A conclusion that it's okay to be in a 'single season' of spirituality, allowing for personal growth and preparation for what may come.

Transcripts

foreign

it is amazing anaerobic beings are like

one of my favorite if not my favorite

and East African region of beans are my

favorite as well Kenyan and Ethiopian

beans are ugh stupendous shout out to

East Africa specifically today shout out

to Ethiopia did you know the first

coffee beans the first coffee should I

say was founded was made in Ethiopia it

is no surprise should I say that

Ethiopia has some of the best coffee

well if my videos

prior to this have not already

frustrated Christians enough uh annoyed

some Christians I know this one is

probably going to do worse I think some

people

are a bit annoyed with the ambiguity of

my language that I use regarding you

know my process out of Faith but in any

case I will try to answer this question

what do you believe now that's one of

the questions that have been very common

since I've left Christianity and I want

to start this off by saying or

reiterating a point that I made in one

of my earlier videos that you don't have

to know where you're going to know that

you should not stay so there's going to

be a lot of ambiguity there's going to

be a lot of vagueness in my answer I'll

try to be as concrete as possible out of

respect for those who really are

interested but I also have no shame in

knowing that the my journey is not over

my journey is not completed I have not

landed fully where I will be for the

rest of my life I think that in

Christian Christianity when I was in the

faith you know I saw it as a virtue many

people see it as a virtue to find

something that you believe in and not

just something but a very particular

brand of something say you've been

reformed or say you've been Pentecostal

or say you've believed in this

particular

set of doctrines for 10 20 plus years

and you've stuck by that with with very

little variation that was seen as a

virtue that was lauded that you could do

that I don't see it as of so much as a

virtue I don't necessarily see it as a

vice but it's also not necessarily a

virtue like or should I say it's not

necessarily a vice that you change it's

not necessarily a con that you evolve as

a person as you consider things more

deeply and you continue through life

things change I do in still some ways

admire people who have stuck by what

they believe that they've found a

resting place and they're just kind of

moved in that space and they know

they're going to move in that space for

the rest of their life that sounds so

stable you know I grew up in a military

base around a military base at least

Fort Hood Texas one of the largest if

not the largest army base in the world

it was not uncommon to have friends who

bounced around all the time they were

what we call Army brats they grew up in

15 different places in their life you

know I was fortunate enough that I

didn't have that issue my dad got out of

the army fairly early and we just kind

of stayed in the area but I was

acquainted with so many people who would

land somewhere with this sort of notion

in the background knowing that they're

going to be somewhere else or that

there's a possibility they'll be

somewhere else in the next two or three

years and that thought was pretty

unsettling kids don't like having to

make new friends and get adjusted and

finally feel like they like some people

and some people like them and then have

to go somewhere else that's a tough

thing for a kid they get used to it but

they also develop some sort of

Tendencies and mechanisms within

themselves to sort of prepare themselves

to be disconnected from people that they

really enjoy I feel that way I feel

somewhat like the Army brat these days

I'm not quite sure where I'll be in the

next two years and I sort of in some way

if I could say it this way I'm a bit

envious of people who are where they're

going to be and they've they've got

their home there and they're going to

just be there for the next 20 30 years

until they die but people like me can be

very transient it feels honest for me to

be transient but I can't say that I

fully enjoy it I do fully enjoy the idea

there's parts of me that enjoys the idea

of knowing that I'm being honest with

myself and I'm evolving and that there

is a better more rounded person of me on

the other side coming along and I am

sort of interested in the adventure and

the journey of learning and and truly

being more open-minded than I was before

and what that type of mindset will give

me the opportunity to experience I'm

excited about that but I must be honest

in saying that um it's also a little

unsettling

you know

to feel like you don't quite have a home

yet

in this series of talks I I will I'll be

honest in my critique of religion and

Christianity specifically and

specifically my own experiences within

religion but I also try to be honest

about my critiques outside of this

honest about my frustrations with this

side of it as well you know everyone's

life has uncertainty what do I believe

now Joe come on get to the topic she's

bro my goodness

by the way you know you got a good cup

of coffee if it can be not hot and still

be flavorful and good I think maybe one

approach to defining what I believe now

I might be easier to Define what I don't

believe and maybe I'll try to you know

herd what I actually believe and kind of

corner it somewhere obviously one I

don't believe in I don't believe in

Christianity and maybe I'll make a

separate video about what are what do I

believe now about Christian how do I

make sense of Jesus and certain

teachings of the Bible um but just in

general I don't believe that the faith

of belief in Jesus as the way the truth

in the life I I no longer believe that

as of now right I can tell you what my

Tendencies are as well in that what I

don't normally believe I know that I'm

just a natural-born skeptic and I'm just

every hint now especially of mysticism

or spirituality or Supernatural I know

that I have a pre presupposition all of

us do I'm very aware of my

presuppositions or at least I try to be

I try to be honest about them and I'm

aware that I tend to look at things with

a side eye when someone claims a

prophecy or a supernatural experience

that they had that wasn't verifiable I

tend to be a naturalist at heart I think

that I know I'm aware that much of what

I tend to lean to begins to sound like

atheism begins to sound like someone who

doesn't believe that there is not just a

God but just it's spiritual and

Supernatural forces at play in general

I know that's my tendency but the reason

why I won't label myself particularly an

atheist is because I want I don't have

an active like it's not like I'm

pursuing an unbelief in God or pursuing

the persuasion of others to have

disbelief in God but also it's because

not much has changed in me in the sense

that I still I know there's something in

me that wants to believe you know I

remember uh just recently A friend of

mine I think we were talking about oh I

think she was bringing up this idea of

um you know meeting someone in another

life you know you know do you think you

have could have met someone in another

life and they believed in that and asked

me if I believed in that and I said well

you know me I I tend not to believe in

stuff like that I don't know how much

good it does for me to believe in that

but then what I said after that was

quite interesting was the first time I

had said it was the first time I really

had thought it I think or at least

organized the words to think it

organized the thoughts and it was this

is what I said I said but but I am tired

of not believing in stuff

I think those were my exact words it can

be

a bit annoying to have that kind of

disposition where whether it be

astrology or Incarnation or I mean

reincarnation or even Incarnation for

that matter right the the Incarnation of

God in Christ and I know that it is a

sort of it is a very normal thing for

Christians or for people should I say

for humans to want to attribute agency

personification of inanimate things or

events in their lives I know that that

would make me in step with the Heritage

before me of humans and particularly

black humans right I think black people

across the world are some of the most

spiritual people there are it becomes

kind of an it's frustrating because even

you know even in La like I live in LA

now and everyone's spiritual but not

religious right and I remember what God

was telling me like where I was at how I

left Christianity and all that he still

asked me but you still believe in in God

though right like he was cool with all

everything else I was saying but people

want to know that you still believe in

so you so still even non-belief is still

very much the minority people still kind

of look at you weird that you just you

can believe in astrology and what's it

called Reiki and you know energy healers

and all that stuff all that stuff's out

here people are always okay with that

but not okay with you being just like oh

but you don't believe anything and again

it's not an active disbelief it's just

that I know my Tendencies you know but I

will say this side of things it is at

least a little easier to be okay with

the open-endedness of the disbelief

rather than trying to force myself into

belief so meaning that I think now I

tweeted the other day you know the Bible

says seeking you shall find and people

keep telling me that about God telling

me seeking you shall find you haven't

really looked for him I think I'm in a

space right now which I have been for a

while but I think I'm more decisively in

this space where I have stopped really

like looking and I think that's such an

interesting comparison to some of y'all

even saw the video I did when the First

videos I did on this channel where I

actually lost my key these could not

find them have you ever noticed that

when you lose something you look so hard

for it I mean you turn the place up

pillows off the freaking couch sheets on

the floor drawers open with clothes

falling out of them man it's like bro I

just had my keys an hour ago how are

they this lost yet and you get so

frustrated and you stop looking for it

and then all of a sudden as you stop

looking for you look over and the keys

are like sitting there in plain sight

next to you when you kind of pause and

it's ironic that it seems to be someone

obviously I think the more you look for

something the more you will I think

that's the tendency you know don't go

looking for something that you don't

want to find because chances are you may

find something you ain't yourself you

don't want to find nothing just don't go

through his phone so that is a tendency

too but there's also a tendency it seems

that at least in my life I've also

noticed when I stopped looking for

something it tends to just pop up and I

think that's in the space that I'm in my

life right now where I've kind of given

up on the search and in that when I've

sort of truly surrendered to that idea

some good thoughts and wisdom and

spirituality even is has been kind of

coming out of that and I don't want to

become aware of it too much it's kind of

like a dream you know when I was a kid I

can't do it as much as an adult it's

crazy I could lucid dream like all the

freaking time basically I could have a

dream and then within the dream be aware

of it and be like Oh I'm in a dream I

can do whatever the heck I want to do in

this dream and I just do whatever I want

no illegal stuff

I just start stealing candy and stuff

from stores because I know like I can do

this because it's a dream so I might as

well and get over you know I might as

well get it in while I'm here right I

can't do that these days when I become

aware that I'm Dreaming now I try to let

go of that thought because I know if I

become too aware of it the dream will

just kind of fade away that's kind of

where I'm at with the spirituality in

the sense of like I don't want to become

too aware of my journey

too aware of like what I'm looking for

or that it's coming to me you know that

these Beautiful Moments have been kind

of showing up at my door I don't want to

become too aware of it because then like

that's when I'll start trying to make it

come to me and then that's when it goes

away one of my nieces I was like a niece

like my God needs to me she's like she

does not like when people are all up in

her face if you are trying to get

attention from her she will give you

less attention like that's her Mo but

for the people who are just kind of

nonchalant with her like kind of show up

and just be and just like hey yo if you

want to hang out with me you can if not

I understand too those are the people

that she's drawn to the people who are

just like you know that might be I don't

know that might be what spirituality

might be like for me where maybe I'll

attract it if I don't go like begging

for its attention and just kind of

letting things come so

um that's one long answer for saying I'm

not quite sure what I believe right now

I'm not quite sure and I'm okay with

that I just left the relationship with

Christianity it's okay to be single for

a while all right let's just be

spiritually single well I'm in my single

season right now single it's okay to

kind of be in your single single season

as you prepare for

whatever might be ahead

so