9 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Parent

Summary

As her daughter nears three, the creator reflects honestly on the unexpected realities of parenthood—its relentless demands, constant phases, and the bittersweet ache of watching a child grow. She shares candid insights about mom guilt, mixed emotions, and how parenting exposes personal challenges and forces a reassessment of priorities. She admits she romanticized parenthood, emphasizes that every family’s experience differs, and encourages preparing for postpartum (not just birth). Warm, humble, and reassuring, the video offers comfort to new and expecting parents by normalizing struggles, celebrating small wins, and reminding viewers that this intense chapter changes—but it also teaches and reshapes life.

Takeaways

• 😀 Parenthood is much more demanding than expected, requiring constant mental, emotional, and physical energy.
• 😀 Everything is a phase, and it can be comforting to know that tough times, like sleep deprivation or difficult behavior, will eventually pass.
• 😀 The emotional highs and lows of parenting are intense, from feeling a deep sadness as children grow to wishing for some peace and quiet at the same time.
• 😀 Parenting forces you to confront your own personal flaws and unresolved emotions, especially when it comes to emotional regulation and managing anger.
• 😀 The idealized version of parenting many have before becoming a parent often doesn't align with the reality, which is humbling.
• 😀 Postpartum care and preparation for the challenges of new parenthood (like sleep deprivation and baby blues) are just as important as preparing for birth.
• 😀 Mom guilt is a constant, ranging from feeling guilty about things that are out of your control to feeling inadequate even when you're doing your best.
• 😀 Parenting forces you to slow down and reassess what's truly important in life, often leading to a shift in priorities and personal growth.
• 😀 As children grow, they change constantly, and this can feel both rewarding and heartbreaking as you realize the little versions of them won’t last forever.
• 😀 Not all aspects of parenting will appeal to every parent. Different stages (like toddlerhood vs. school-age) come with different challenges and rewards, and each parent finds joy in different parts of the journey.

Q & A

What is the main purpose of the video?

The creator reflects on her first three years of motherhood and shares what she wishes she had known before becoming a parent.

What does the speaker say was the hardest part of becoming a parent?

She explains that the hardest part was the relentless, 24/7 demand of parenting, which was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting.

Why does she find comfort in the idea that 'everything is a phase'?

Knowing that challenges are temporary helps her get through difficult phases, as she now understands that things improve and change with time.

How does the speaker describe the emotional changes that come with parenting?

She notes that parenting involves experiencing opposite emotions at the same time—feeling deep sadness about children growing up while also wanting relief from difficult moments.

What realization did she have about personal preferences in parenting?

She discovered that she likes and dislikes certain aspects of parenting more than she expected, and that it's normal for parents to have different preferences and strengths.

In what ways does becoming a parent force self-reflection?

Parenting highlights personal habits, emotional reactions, and unresolved issues, because children observe and learn from their parents’ behavior.

How did motherhood change the speaker’s perception of what matters in life?

It caused her to slow down and re-evaluate her values, letting go of less important things and focusing more on what truly matters to her and her family.

What does she say about ‘mom guilt’?

She describes mom guilt as a near-daily experience, often triggered by small or uncontrollable things, and amplified by external expectations and internal pressure.

Why does she say postpartum preparation was more important than she realized?

She felt she put too much focus on preparing for birth instead of the postpartum period, which she found to be far more overwhelming and difficult.

What is an example of something she wishes she had done differently after giving birth?

She wishes she had learned more about postpartum realities, gotten better prepared for support, and used tools like a proper baby carrier for easier daily life.

What does she say about judging parents before having kids?

Before becoming a mother, she thought she knew how she would parent and judged other parents, but motherhood humbled her and changed her views.

What overall message does she give to new or future parents?

She reassures them that although parenting is hard and full of learning curves, you figure things out over time and adjust.