全職做視頻三年了，收入高但我很痛苦，為什麼放棄比堅持更難？┃洛奇漫談

Summary

In this personal and heartfelt video, the YouTuber opens up about the challenges of being a content creator while managing mental health struggles, family responsibilities, and financial pressures. Despite high income, the stress of constant content production, social anxiety, and the overwhelming demands of raising three young children have taken a toll. The speaker reflects on the impact of their job on their well-being, the desire to balance work and family life, and the struggle to reconcile their dreams with the realities of their situation. This raw reflection offers valuable insights for anyone considering a career in digital content creation.

Takeaways

• 😀 The speaker has been facing significant anxiety and stress, which has affected their physical and emotional well-being.
• 😀 A major source of anxiety comes from the pressure of maintaining high viewership, as it directly impacts the speaker's income and family livelihood.
• 😀 The speaker's content mainly involves interviews, which requires emotional connection with the interviewees. However, anxiety and social fear have hindered their ability to interact effectively.
• 😀 Family pressure also contributes to the speaker's struggles, as they are managing the care of three young children while balancing work.
• 😀 The speaker's social anxiety and depressive emotions have led to a decline in the quality and quantity of their content, further impacting viewership and income.
• 😀 Despite the challenges, the speaker acknowledges that their income as a YouTuber, although not extraordinary, is enough to support their family in Los Angeles, a high-cost area.
• 😀 The speaker reflects on the misleading notion of 'easy success' often associated with online fame and income, especially for new immigrants facing barriers like language and limited job opportunities.
• 😀 The speaker shares the struggle of balancing family life with the demands of being a full-time content creator, which has led to burnout and loss of personal fulfillment.
• 😀 Despite the difficulties, the speaker feels a sense of gratitude for their job as a content creator, as it provides them with flexible time to care for their children, which a traditional 9-to-5 job would not allow.
• 😀 The speaker is grappling with the decision to either continue their full-time YouTuber career or pursue a more traditional job, seeking a balance between family, mental health, and financial stability.

Q & A

What are the main reasons for the creator's anxiety and emotional struggles?

The creator's anxiety is primarily caused by the pressure of maintaining consistent video views, which directly impacts their income. This anxiety is exacerbated by the challenges of balancing family life, including caring for three young children, and managing the emotional stress that comes with social phobia (social anxiety). The creator's emotional struggles are compounded by the pressure to perform well on camera and the demands of producing high-quality content.

How does the creator's social anxiety affect their work as a content creator?

The creator's social anxiety impacts their ability to conduct interviews effectively. It reduces their desire to engage with people, and during interviews, they sometimes experience brain fog or blank moments. This lack of connection leads to subpar interaction with guests, which directly affects the quality of the content they produce, including the overall engagement and interaction with their audience.

What is the impact of family life on the creator's career?

The creator's family life, particularly the responsibility of raising three young children, creates a significant emotional and time burden. The constant demands from the children, including their crying and need for attention, amplify the creator's social anxiety. This reduces the creator's capacity to focus on work and leads to interruptions during video recording, negatively affecting both productivity and content quality.

How has the creator's income as a content creator compared to their previous job?

Initially, the creator earned a similar income from their YouTube channel as they did when working as a truck driver. After two years of content creation, their income surpassed their truck driving earnings. However, the creator notes that this income fluctuates significantly depending on the consistency of content uploads, with periods of inactivity leading to a decline in earnings.

What challenges does the creator face in managing their finances in a high-cost area like Los Angeles?

Although the creator's income is above average compared to the general U.S. population, living in high-cost areas like Los Angeles means that after taxes and expenses, there is only a modest surplus. The creator feels that, despite earning a relatively high income for a content creator, they still struggle with financial security, including the inability to afford a house and long-term savings.

Why does the creator feel conflicted about being a content creator despite the income?

Despite the financial benefits, the creator feels a deep sense of emotional and psychological strain from their work as a content creator. The pressure to maintain viewership, create quality content, and manage family responsibilities leads to ongoing anxiety and feelings of depression, which diminish the enjoyment of their work.

What is the creator’s perspective on the so-called 'freedom' of being a freelancer or content creator?

The creator acknowledges that while being a freelancer or content creator offers flexibility, it is not the carefree 'freedom' many perceive. It requires a high level of self-discipline, continuous work, and the risk of unstable income, which can lead to significant stress and survival anxiety. The creator suggests that those considering this career path should be cautious if their current job already provides good benefits.

What does the creator mean by saying that the internet does not make everyone equal?

The creator critiques the notion that the internet offers equal access and opportunities for everyone. They point out that internet censorship in places like China limits access to global platforms. Additionally, issues like regional pricing differences and digital security risks can create disparities in online experiences, affecting users' ability to access content or services freely.

What is the creator's relationship with their audience, and how does it affect their work?

The creator feels deeply grateful for the support of their audience, recognizing that the viewers are a major source of motivation to continue creating content. Despite their personal struggles, the creator expresses that the encouragement and connection with viewers are vital in helping them persist in their career. However, they also feel guilty for not being able to deliver the content at their usual quality due to their emotional state.

What are the two paths the creator is considering in terms of their career and personal life?

The creator is contemplating two options: one is to give up being a full-time content creator and find a traditional job that provides a more stable work-life balance, although this would complicate their financial situation. The second path involves continuing to be a content creator while attempting to manage their anxiety and depression, adjusting their mindset, and exploring opportunities for change in the future. The creator leans towards seeking a healthier balance, but is uncertain about the best course of action.