5 Real Differences Between Toxic Positivity Vs Real Empathy

Summary

This video highlights the dangers of toxic positivity, which often masks real emotions and disregards reality. It differentiates toxic positivity from genuine empathy, showing how the former can be unrealistic, dismissive, and harmful. The video outlines five key signs to watch for: positivity that lacks realism, empathy, or is built on negativity, positivity that interferes with progress, and the kind that is not kind or shames others for their feelings. The video emphasizes how toxic positivity can worsen mental health, urging viewers to listen and support others rather than offering empty, unrealistic advice.

Takeaways

• 😀 Toxic positivity occurs when positivity ignores the realities of difficult situations, offering unrealistic solutions.
• 😀 Real empathy involves understanding the struggles people face and responding with compassion, not just positivity.
• 😀 Telling someone to ‘just get over it’ is an example of toxic positivity, as it dismisses the need for emotional processing.
• 😀 Toxic positivity can make people feel worse by comparing their struggles to others’ and creating unnecessary guilt or shame.
• 😀 Depression, for example, cannot be solved by just telling someone to ‘go out and have fun’—it requires deeper support and understanding.
• 😀 Healthy positivity supports individuals by acknowledging their emotional states and offering appropriate assistance.
• 😀 Toxic positivity can harm mental health by downplaying serious issues, like ignoring anxiety or pretending to ‘fake it until you make it.’
• 😀 It’s important to avoid oversimplifying others’ problems with statements like ‘being broke is a choice,’ as it overlooks systemic challenges.
• 😀 True empathy involves listening to someone’s pain without trying to rush them through their emotions or push them into action too quickly.
• 😀 Encouraging people to ignore their emotions or ‘cheer up’ can invalidate their feelings and is a form of toxic positivity, not kindness.
• 😀 Toxic positivity is often well-meaning but can cause long-term harm by preventing genuine emotional healing and understanding.

Q & A

What is the main difference between toxic positivity and real empathy?

Toxic positivity involves showing an overly optimistic or unrealistic view without understanding the person's reality, while real empathy is about understanding someone's struggles and offering compassion.

Why can positivity be considered toxic?

Positivity becomes toxic when it disregards the realities of a situation, tries to force unrealistic optimism, or fails to consider the emotional needs of a person.

What is an example of positivity that lacks realism?

An example of toxic positivity that lacks realism is telling someone who is struggling financially, 'Being broke is a choice, you just have to manage your money better.' This ignores the reality of economic hardship.

How does toxic positivity differ from real empathy in dealing with someone's distress?

Toxic positivity might dismiss someone's feelings with statements like 'You should get over it,' whereas real empathy listens and allows the person to express their emotions without judgment.

Why is comparing personal struggles to others' situations considered toxic positivity?

Comparing personal struggles to others' situations, like saying 'I can't run to my father, so you shouldn't either,' invalidates the support others may have and creates unnecessary guilt or shame for those who rely on help.

How can toxic positivity interfere with someone's life?

Toxic positivity can interfere by offering unhelpful advice, such as suggesting someone with depression should just go out and have fun, which fails to address the underlying mental health issues.

What is the danger of telling someone to 'just get over it' during a traumatic event?

Telling someone to 'just get over it' minimizes their grief and emotional pain, preventing them from processing their feelings in a healthy way. It can also shame them for experiencing emotions.

Why is toxic positivity not considered kind?

Toxic positivity removes the focus from the root of the problem by telling individuals to ignore their feelings, which can invalidate their emotional experience and hinder healing.

How does toxic positivity worsen mental health problems like depression or anxiety?

Toxic positivity, such as telling someone to fake it until they make it, can delay addressing the real mental health issues and prevent individuals from seeking proper support or treatment.

What should you do instead of offering toxic positivity to someone in distress?

Instead of offering toxic positivity, listen to the person, acknowledge their feelings, and offer support by validating their emotions and letting them know they are not alone.