I Wanted to Save My Mother | Terry Crews | Goalcast
Summary
TLDRThe transcript shares a deeply emotional and personal account of growing up in an abusive environment. The speaker recounts the fear and trauma experienced as a child, witnessing their father’s violence toward their mother. Despite the overwhelming sense of hopelessness, the speaker's determination to protect their mother emerges. They also reflect on how the trauma influenced their own behavior later in life, especially as a father. The speaker emphasizes the importance of speaking up, seeking help, and the need for support systems to heal from abuse. Ultimately, the message is one of hope, change, and the possibility of breaking the cycle.
Takeaways
- 😀 The speaker's earliest memory is witnessing domestic violence, with their father hitting their mother.
- 😀 The speaker felt a strong desire to protect their mother and struggled with fear, not knowing what would happen next in their abusive household.
- 😀 The trauma caused the speaker to wet the bed until the age of 14 due to the constant fear of violence.
- 😀 The speaker recalls moments when their mother would plan to leave, but would always feel unable to escape the situation.
- 😀 The speaker emphasizes how hopeless and trapped people in abusive situations often feel.
- 😀 Despite vowing never to repeat the abusive behavior they witnessed, the speaker later found themselves repeating damaging patterns, particularly with their daughter.
- 😀 The speaker often apologized to their daughter, Azriel, realizing they had been emotionally harming her.
- 😀 Success in life, according to the speaker, is often used as a mask or a hiding place, but it doesn't change the underlying trauma.
- 😀 The speaker stresses that no one—regardless of their background—should endure abuse or be treated as less than human.
- 😀 The speaker criticizes societal systems that make it difficult for victims to seek help, including fears of losing jobs or not being able to afford legal support.
- 😀 The speaker believes that to heal and confront abuse, one needs emotional, financial, and physical distance from the situation.
- 😀 The speaker praises organizations like Saving Horizon that offer support, emphasizing the importance of creating a safe space for victims of abuse to seek help.
Q & A
What is the speaker's earliest memory?
-The speaker's earliest memory is of their father hitting their mother in the face, followed by the fear of what would happen next and the desire to protect their mother.
How did the speaker feel about their father during this time?
-The speaker felt fear and confusion. They viewed their father as a giant of a man and couldn't understand how someone who claimed to love their mother could treat her this way.
What was the speaker's main focus during the traumatic experiences?
-The speaker's main focus was on protecting their mother and finding strength to do so.
How did the speaker cope with the instability at home?
-The speaker coped by feeling terrified of what might happen next. They experienced deep fear, which led them to wet the bed until they were 14 years old.
What was the situation like when the speaker's mother tried to leave?
-The speaker's mother would often pack their belongings in garbage bags and prepare to leave, but then she would return and say they couldn't leave due to uncertainty about where to go.
What was the emotional state of the speaker and their family during this time?
-The emotional state was one of hopelessness. The speaker and their family felt powerless and trapped in their situation.
How did the speaker's trauma influence their behavior as an adult?
-The speaker adopted some damaging behaviors from their trauma, including a tendency to dominate and yell, especially towards their daughter Azriel, treating her as if she were an adult.
What changed the speaker's perspective on their behavior?
-The speaker's realization came when they apologized to their children repeatedly, acknowledging their mistakes and becoming aware of the impact of their behavior. This was a catalyst for change.
How does the speaker define success in relation to their past experiences?
-The speaker describes success as a 'warmest place to hide,' emphasizing that success does not shield someone from personal struggles and that anyone, regardless of status, can be victimized.
What does the speaker believe is necessary for victims of abuse to come forward?
-The speaker believes that victims need emotional, financial, and physical distance from their situation in order to come forward and share their experiences.
What role does Saving Horizon play according to the speaker?
-Saving Horizon provides a safe haven for victims of abuse, offering essential services and support for those looking to escape and recover from their situations.
Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of speaking up?
-The speaker stresses the importance of speaking up because it can bring change, raise awareness, and provide opportunities for healing, stressing that such issues are fixable and need to be addressed.
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