Dating out of your league is easy actually

Summary

The video challenges the common belief that attractive women are 'out of your league' and encourages viewers to rethink their self-worth. The speaker shares a personal experience of feeling inadequate and explains how societal norms create arbitrary standards of 'league' that negatively impact confidence. He introduces a technique involving selective attention and approval to create attraction, emphasizing the importance of not putting women on a pedestal and treating oneself with respect. Ultimately, the message is about shifting perspective and embracing self-confidence, encouraging men to engage women in a playful, balanced manner.

Takeaways

• 😀 There is no such thing as 'leagues' when it comes to attraction—this concept is a false belief that harms self-confidence.
• 😀 Feeling 'not good enough' stems from societal pressures and unrealistic standards; it's not a reflection of your true worth.
• 😀 Attraction is more about how you perceive and value yourself, not about external factors like appearance, wealth, or status.
• 😀 The majority of people live on autopilot and follow societal norms without critically thinking, which often leads to poor life outcomes.
• 😀 If you treat someone as 'out of your league,' you put them on a pedestal, which lowers your self-esteem and creates an unbalanced dynamic.
• 😀 Instead of trying to over-impress, maintain your self-respect by not putting others above you or seeking constant approval.
• 😀 The law of effort justification suggests that people value things more when they have to work for them—use this in your interactions.
• 😀 The key to creating attraction is by selectively giving and withdrawing attention and approval at key moments in a conversation.
• 😀 A playful 'takeaway' technique—pulling away at the right moment—can create intrigue and make someone chase after your attention.
• 😀 A mindset of scarcity (fear of losing one person or opportunity) limits confidence, while an abundance mindset empowers you to pursue multiple options.
• 😀 Women are attracted to men who are confident, playful, and a bit mysterious—not those who are overly nice or always available.

Q & A

What is the core belief challenged in the video?

The video challenges the belief that certain people, especially attractive women, are 'out of your league.' It argues that this idea is a self-limiting social construct that prevents people from forming meaningful relationships.

How does the speaker suggest overcoming insecurity around attractive women?

The speaker suggests that instead of viewing yourself as 'not good enough,' you should stop seeing attractiveness as the main determinant of value. The idea is to appreciate beauty without putting anyone above yourself, and to stop placing people on pedestals.

What does the speaker mean by 'there is no league' in relationships?

The phrase 'there is no league' means that the concept of leagues in dating is arbitrary. There is no inherent hierarchy that determines who can be with whom. The speaker emphasizes that you shouldn't limit yourself by societal standards or comparisons.

What does the speaker say about the majority's mindset in life?

The speaker argues that the majority of people live on autopilot, accepting societal norms without critically analyzing them. They often experience dissatisfaction in key areas like happiness, health, money, and relationships. The speaker encourages stepping away from this majority mindset to live a more fulfilling life.

Why does the speaker advise against putting women on pedestals?

When you put a woman on a pedestal, you subconsciously view yourself as inferior. This dynamic can lead to a lack of confidence and a power imbalance. Instead, the speaker advises meeting a woman's energy and maintaining your own self-worth.

What psychological principle does the speaker reference to explain attraction dynamics?

The speaker refers to the principle of 'effort justification,' which states that the more effort we invest in something, the more we value it. In the context of attraction, if a woman has to work for a man’s attention or approval, she will value it more.

How can the 'takeaway' technique be applied in a conversation?

The 'takeaway' technique involves giving attention and approval at first, but then pulling it away at key moments to create intrigue. This makes the person work for your attention, which increases their interest and attraction.

What are some examples of playful lines used in the takeaway technique?

Examples include teasing lines like 'Uh-oh, you're losing me,' 'You're too young for me,' or 'I can't talk to you, we're just going to fight all the time.' These lines add humor and lightness, making the dynamic more playful and less serious.

What role does confidence play in applying the takeaway technique?

Confidence is crucial because if you hesitate or are too afraid of losing someone's attention, the takeaway won't be effective. The technique relies on the belief that you have plenty of options and that one person’s interest doesn’t define your worth.

How does the speaker encourage viewers to shift their mindset regarding scarcity?

The speaker encourages viewers to adopt an abundance mindset, where they see the possibility of many relationships rather than focusing on one. The fear of losing one person’s attention is framed as irrational, similar to a millionaire worrying over losing a single dollar.