Handsome Men's Game - You Will Be Lonely

Summary

In this video, the speaker addresses the paradox of loneliness faced by handsome men despite their attractiveness. He explains that being above average in looks can lead to both admiration and isolation due to perceived unattainability and jealousy. The speaker emphasizes the importance of resilience and developing a discerning social circle to navigate the complexities of dating and relationships, suggesting that understanding and relating to others with similar experiences can be key to overcoming these challenges.

Takeaways

• 😎 Attractive men are often perceived as rare and stand out, which can lead to both positive and negative attention from others.
• 🤔 Women may feel intimidated or think they have no chance with an attractive man, leading to them avoiding interaction due to perceived competition or fear of boosting the man's ego.
• 🚷 Some men may resent attractive men because they represent an ideal they wish to achieve, leading to feelings of frustration and sometimes hostility.
• 🧐 Attractive men can internalize the negative experiences and start questioning their self-worth, despite receiving positive feedback about their looks.
• 🔄 The contradiction between being attractive and experiencing rejection or isolation can create confusion and a tendency to withdraw from social situations.
• 🏰 The speaker suggests that attractive men may feel a sense of disconnect, receiving superficial compliments while being ignored or dismissed by others.
• 🤷‍♂️ Isolation can become a default response for attractive men who don't know how to navigate the complexities of dating and social interactions.
• 💪 Developing resilience is key for attractive men to overcome the challenges they face, including learning to filter out negative influences and maintaining determination.
• 🔄 Attractive individuals may need to find a balance between being comfortable alone and actively engaging in social and dating life.
• 🤝 It's important for attractive men to keep their social circles tight to avoid the envy and potential backstabbing from others, focusing on building trust with a few close friends.
• 👫 Attractive men are more likely to connect with women who are also attractive and have faced similar challenges, as they can better understand each other's experiences.

Q & A

Why might a handsome man feel lonely or excluded?

A handsome man might feel lonely or excluded because his attractiveness can lead to others perceiving him as unattainable or intimidating, causing both men and women to avoid him or feel insecure around him.

What is the foundational idea of being an attractive guy in the context of this script?

The foundational idea is that being an attractive guy makes one rare and can separate him from the majority of the population, leading to both positive and negative attention.

How does being above average in looks affect a man's social interactions?

Being above average in looks can make a man stand out, attracting attention but also potentially causing others to feel intimidated or insecure, which can affect social interactions negatively.

What kind of mindset can a handsome man develop as a result of feeling lonely or excluded?

A handsome man might develop a mindset of isolation, becoming used to being alone or ignored, which can lead to a sense of disconnect and overthinking about what might be wrong with him.

Why might a successful and handsome man feel the need to 'dumb himself down' to fit in?

A successful and handsome man might feel the need to 'dumb himself down' because he may feel ignored or dismissed by others due to his success and looks, leading him to wonder if he needs to appear less threatening or impressive to be more accepted.

What is the psychological impact of being attractive but facing rejections or negative experiences?

The psychological impact can be confusing and frustrating, as it contradicts the positive feedback one receives about their looks, leading to a sense of isolation and a struggle to understand the mixed signals.

Why is it important for an attractive man to develop resilience according to the script?

It's important to develop resilience because an attractive man will face confusing treatment and needs to maintain determination and a thick skin to continue pursuing his goals without being discouraged.

What does the script suggest about the types of women who might understand the struggles of an attractive man?

The script suggests that women who are also attractive and have faced similar challenges might understand the struggles of an attractive man, particularly if they are confident and secure in themselves.

Why might an attractive man have difficulty discussing his dating experiences with other men?

An attractive man might have difficulty discussing his dating experiences with other men because they may not be able to relate to or understand the unique problems and challenges he faces due to his attractiveness.

What advice does the script give regarding the social circle of an attractive man?

The script advises that an attractive man should keep his social circle tight, filtering out those who might be envious or untrustworthy, and focusing on building connections with people of a higher caliber who can relate to him.

What is the potential danger of hanging out with men who are not good with women, according to the script?

The potential danger is that these men might project their insecurities onto the attractive man, give bad advice that doesn't apply to his situation, or try to live vicariously through him, which can be detrimental to his own dating and relationship goals.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 The Paradox of Handsome Men's Loneliness

This paragraph delves into the unexpected loneliness that handsome men may experience despite their attractiveness. It discusses how being above average in looks can lead to isolation due to others' perceptions and reactions. Women might feel intimidated or believe they have no chance with such men, while men may feel threatened or resentful. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding this dynamic and not internalizing it as a personal flaw. It sets the stage for exploring the complexities of dating and social interactions for attractive men.

05:01

🧐 The Confusion and Isolation of Attractive Men

The second paragraph expands on the theme of isolation, highlighting the confusing signals attractive men receive in social and dating scenarios. It points out that while these men might receive compliments, they also face rejection and dismissal, leading to a sense of disconnect. The speaker suggests that the paradox of being attractive yet alone can be mentally challenging, especially for those with a logical, problem-solving mindset. It touches on the idea that isolation might be a default response to the frustration of not understanding this paradox, but emphasizes that humans have an inherent need for connection that cannot be ignored.

10:01

🤝 The Importance of Resilience and Selective Social Circles

This paragraph focuses on the necessity of resilience for attractive men navigating the complexities of social interactions. It discusses the importance of developing a thick skin and determination to overcome the negative experiences that can come with being attractive. The speaker also advises maintaining a tight social circle to avoid the envy and superficiality that can come from broader social interactions. The paragraph underscores the need for filtering out the wrong types of people and seeking those who understand and relate to the unique challenges faced by attractive individuals.

💑 Finding Understanding Partners and Navigating Social Dynamics

The final paragraph addresses the challenge of finding romantic partners who can understand the unique position of attractive men. It suggests that attractive women, who face similar challenges, might be more likely to empathize, but also notes that confidence and internal security play a significant role. The speaker warns against the pitfalls of seeking advice from those who do not share the same social experiences and emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with people of high caliber. The paragraph concludes with a call to resilience and effort in the pursuit of meaningful connections, without compromising one's own excellence.

Keywords

💡Handsome Men's Game

The term 'Handsome Men's Game' refers to the unique set of challenges and experiences that attractive men face in social and dating scenarios. It is central to the video's theme, which explores the paradoxical loneliness that handsome men may experience despite their attractiveness. The script discusses how being above average in looks can lead to both positive and negative perceptions, affecting how these men are approached and interacted with by others.

💡Loneliness

Loneliness is a key theme in the video, highlighting the isolation that handsome men might feel due to the misconceptions and reactions of others. It is defined as the state of being alone, without company or companionship. The script illustrates this through examples of handsome men feeling excluded or ignored, despite societal beliefs that attractiveness would naturally lead to social acceptance and dating success.

💡Attraction

Attraction in this context refers to physical appeal, which is a focal point in the video's discussion on how it affects social dynamics. The script notes that being attractive can be a net positive, but it also brings its own set of problems, especially in the era of modern dating. It is used to contrast the expectations of attractiveness with the reality of the social challenges faced by handsome men.

💡Exclusion

Exclusion is the act of deliberately leaving someone out or not including them in a group or activity. In the script, it is related to how handsome men might be excluded from social interactions due to others' perceptions or insecurities. It is a significant aspect of the video's theme, showing that attractiveness does not guarantee inclusion or acceptance.

💡Resentment

Resentment is a feeling of bitterness or indignation at perceived unfairness or being treated unfairly. The video script uses this term to describe how some men may feel towards handsome men, viewing them as symbols of what they wish to be, leading to frustration and sometimes negative behavior, such as leaving angry comments or avoiding interaction.

💡Intimidation

Intimidation is the act of making someone feel afraid or insecure through displays of power or aggression. In the context of the video, it is used to explain how handsome men can make others, particularly other men, feel insecure or inadequate, leading them to avoid interaction or feel threatened.

💡Isolation

Isolation refers to the state of being alone or separated from others. The script discusses how handsome men may resort to isolation as a coping mechanism for the negative experiences they encounter in social settings. It is a recurring theme that ties into the broader message of the video about the unexpected social challenges of attractiveness.

💡Insecurity

Insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty or anxiety about oneself, often stemming from a lack of confidence. The video script mentions how the insecurities of others can affect interactions with handsome men, as well as how handsome men themselves might internalize feelings of insecurity due to the confusing social responses they receive.

💡Resilience

Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties or to withstand hardships. The script emphasizes the importance of resilience for handsome men to navigate the complex social landscape they face. It is defined as the ability to 'spring back into shape,' and the video encourages handsome men to develop this trait to overcome social and dating challenges.

💡Envy

Envy is the feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, or possessions. In the video, envy is discussed as a common reaction that handsome men may provoke in others, which can lead to negative treatment or avoidance. It is a key concept that helps explain the social dynamics at play for attractive individuals.

💡Dumbing Down

Dumbing Down refers to the act of simplifying or reducing one's intellectual or social presentation to fit in with others or to avoid standing out. The script mentions this concept when discussing whether handsome men should alter their behavior or intelligence to be more accepted by others, a notion the video ultimately discourages.

💡Social Circle

A social circle refers to the group of people one interacts with regularly. The video emphasizes the importance for handsome men to maintain a tight social circle, as it can help filter out superficial or envious relationships. It suggests that while handsome men may have many acquaintances, true connections are fewer and require careful selection.

Highlights

Handsome men can feel lonely, excluded, or ignored despite societal advantages of attractiveness.

Attractive men are considered rare and stand out, which can lead to both positive and negative perceptions.

Women may feel intimidated or believe they have no chance with attractive men, avoiding competition.

Some men may resent attractive men, feeling frustrated by what they wish to be.

Attractive men can internalize feelings of rejection, leading to overthinking and self-doubt.

The contradiction between being attractive and experiencing rejection can be confusing.

Attractive men may settle into a 'Lone Wolf' mentality due to the confusing social dynamics.

Isolation can be a default response for attractive men facing dating challenges.

Humans are biologically wired to desire connection, making isolation an unsustainable solution.

Attractive men should develop resilience to navigate the complexities of social and dating life.

Developing a thick skin and determination is crucial for attractive men facing negative perceptions.

Attractive men should seek out women with similar challenges and high self-confidence.

Attractive women also face unwanted attention and envy, making them potential understanding partners.

It's important for attractive men to maintain a tight circle of trusted friends to avoid superficial connections.

Attractive men should not dumb themselves down to fit in but seek higher caliber individuals.

The video suggests that attractive men should watch a follow-up video on understanding women's signals.

Transcripts

all right handsome men's game you will

be lonely in this video I want to talk

about why you as a handsome guy can run

into the problem of feeling lonely

excluded or ignored a lot of the time

this topic was inspired by some coaching

sessions I've had with guys lately that

are struggling with this exact thing and

in fact I just got off a call a few

minutes ago with another guy that could

relate to this problem wholeheartedly

and this whole thing can be confusing on

the surface because being attractive is

considered to be a net positive overall

but that doesn't mean that it doesn't

come without its own set of problems

especially in this current ERA of dating

and let's start here with the foundation

of what can go wrong and expand out from

there so stay with me throughout this

video because I'm going to build on each

point so the foundational idea of being

an attractive guy is basically that

you're rare because most people by

definition are average the average

person is average shocking right so by

being above average in the looks

Department you are automatically

separated from the vast majority of the

population and you stand out in both

good and bad ways the good ways are

obvious you're nice to look at so

women's rule over you in their mind and

guys want to look like you or be like

you but because of the way the human

brain works you're also placed into a

category in the minds of both men and

women before you even say a word I've

talked about this a bit more in my other

handsome men's game videos so I won't go

on too much about this part but the idea

is that because your looks are above

average women can sometimes feel like

they don't have a shot getting you or

that you're surrounded by hot women all

the time already and they don't want to

deal with that competition they may also

avoid talking to you because they don't

want to inflate your ego anymore at

least in their mind some guys will also

resent you at times because you're what

they wish they could be and it's

frustrating to them these are the types

of guys that leave angry black pill

comments on YouTube about how looks are

the only thing that matters when you

know for a fact that isn't the entire

story it's a great piece of the puzzle

to have but it doesn't complete the

puzzle but guys will sometimes feel

intimidated by you and not want to be

around you or they definitely won't want

their women around you and women will

feel like you're just out of their

league or a player or a narcissist or

all of the above my ultimate point is

that a portion of the time you will get

placed into a category that is viewed

negatively because you inspire jealousy

or an aura of being unattainable so

women will think why even bother trying

to talk to you in the first place now on

your side of things this can get in your

head like there's something wrong with

you if if you're not careful you can

start to internalize this and really

overthink things in the sense that

you'll start to wonder what is wrong

with you and why guys don't seem to want

to talk to you or women don't throw any

signals your way and they almost seem

turned off by you if anything if you

pair this with the positive feedback

that you're used to getting throughout

your life about your looks it becomes

really confusing because on one hand you

have people telling you that you're

really attractive but then in practice

it seems like you get more rejections or

have more negative experiences than than

anything it's an equation that doesn't

make sense on the surface how can you be

attractive but barely anyone talks to

you or women act like you don't exist

it's contradictory and it can create

this Habit to where you're used to being

alone or having people ignore you or

treat you in a weird way so you just

settle into that you start to get used

to being the Lone Wolf because it's

better than dealing with the weird Vibes

that you get from men and women and

that's where the lonely Journey comes

into play if you're an attractive guy

you may feel an overall sense of

Disconnect in different ways as you go

throughout life on one hand you'll get

superficial compliments from some people

but then ignored or easily dismissed by

others this can get even worse if you're

also a successful guy on top of being

good-looking and you'll start to wonder

if you need to dumb yourself down in a

way in order to fit in or be more

accepted by the men and women around you

for example I recently had a one-onone

call with a guy who's very successful

and honestly the guy could be a male

model if he wanted to he's got

everything dialed in on the surface but

he was saying that relationships with

women often fizzle out because their

insecurities start to flare and when

trying to find new women they often

don't give him the time of day and if

you saw this guy on the surface you'd

think he's probably got 20 supermodels

waiting for him at his house but it's

the complete opposite and instead he

feels alone and excluded this can

actually wreak a lot of havoc on an

attractive person's psyche especially if

you have a personality type that likes

to try and figure things out you know

like a very logical problemsolving

engineering type of mind because again

the equation here doesn't make any sense

you would think that the more attractive

you are the better everything becomes as

a result and in some ways that is true I

think it's better to be as attractive as

you can rather than not caring at all

but we are often sold an idea that

everything becomes smooth sailing across

the board if you're a stud and that just

isn't true in fact if I look back on my

own life a lot of the guys that I knew

that I considered to be good-look dudes

were not necessarily the ones getting

all the women in fact a lot of the time

it was the guy that was a few notches

lower in the looks Department because

that type of guy had a more approachable

vibe to him and other men just weren't

as threatened by that guy and because

this type of treatment doesn't make

sense logically it can be easy to fall

back into a mode of isolation because

that's just what we tend to do as humans

when the levels of pain confusion or

frustration are greater than the drive

to want to solve or figure out the

problem or in other words you become

overwhelmed with negativity and you want

to give up and we're seeing it all the

time now in the dating scene in general

too if I had a dime for every time

someone mentioned that they're just

going to focus on themselves I'd have a

mansion in Hawaii at this point and

since a lot of guys don't know how to

solve the dating problem at hand

isolation and focusing on yourself is

the default response now or it becomes

the default response for the guys that

just see dating as too much work that

isn't worth the time but in my opinion

it's the wrong response because we can't

escape our biological programming humans

are never going to stop Desiring

connection with other humans so opting

out of the dating scene is essentially a

CO hope that will eventually build a

powdered keg inside of you that will

just explode another way because we as

humans are essentially trapped inside of

a biological prison of desires you're

wired to procreate and be attracted to

women and that isn't going away no

matter what you consciously decide it's

like if you decided to stop eating food

today you know we'll see how you feel in

a couple of days when the hunger is

overwhelming you can't escape that

hunger because of your wiring as a human

and likewise the urge to become isolated

as a good-looking guy who is facing

these struggles may be tempting but it's

not a solution to the problem and before

I continue I don't want you to think

that I'm discrediting the idea of being

comfortable being alone because being

100% comfortable alone is a skill all

men should develop because it makes you

more secure and complete as a person

overall and that is attractive for quick

reference I helped a guy a couple years

back and when we started working

together he was out of shape physically

and he was in a relationship that he

didn't like at all but he didn't know

how to detach from that relationship

ship and to make a long story short I

helped him get out of that relationship

get in the best shape of his life and

then we worked on his dating life and

his options took off like crazy he was a

very coachable person so he did

everything I said and this dude went on

a dating spree that few others have he

had Endless Options honestly however the

more I worked with him the more I also

realized that he wasn't comfortable

being alone and a lot of the dating was

to cover up that loneliness element so

that became the larger problem to solve

so keep in mind mind that there's a

balance here between working on your

social and dating life but also needing

that Foundation of being comfortable

alone you need both but with all that

said you will have to keep your circle

tight as a handsome guy because the Envy

from other guys can get really annoying

in some cases and the guys out there

that have experienced this know exactly

what I'm talking about I spoke about my

grandfather in a previous video and he

was very well connected to a lot of

people throughout his lifetime and he

was a good-looking guy in his younger

years but he always kept his circle of

friends small he had men trying to

backstab him in his corporate and

personal life and he preferred to keep

his Circle to one to two good friends

than then his family otherwise and this

is the type of thing that you'll most

likely have to do as a guy who is

attractive or successful or both you may

have a larger circle of people that you

know or interact with but a lot of those

interactions will be superficial and

occasional most of the time they won't

be lasting connections with people that

you can trust and you'll notice that

you'll even question the actions or

things that people close to you say

sometimes which can really catch you off

guard like it may feel like they're

taking a stab at you or jealous of you

and this can happen sometimes even with

friends that you've had for years so

total isolation isn't the answer but

trying to be everyone's best friend

isn't the answer either you have to find

the middle ground and this requires a

critical attribute called resilience and

I know you already know what resilience

means but just for the sake of this

discussion I want to reference the

dictionary real quick just to be clear

on the definition resilience is defined

as the capacity to withstand or to

recover quickly from difficulties or the

ability of a substance or object to

spring back into shape and it will take

a surprising amount of resilience to

continue to push on and strive for more

as an attractive guy because of the

confusing treatment that you'll get at

times you're going to have to develop a

thick skin and a layer of determination

to your personality that motivates you

to keep pushing towards your dating and

relationship goals without being

discouraged you will have to get used to

springing back into shape and recovering

quickly and an aspect that connects to

all of this especially when it comes to

women is that you'll have to get good at

filtering out the wrong types of women

and develop a higher standard for the

type of women that will understand you

and that usually means an equally

attractive woman because a lot of

attractive women go through similar

problems beneath the surface attractive

women are showered with attention but a

lot of it is attention that they don't

actually want for example if you had 200

unattractive women hitting on you every

week you just get annoyed after a while

rather than feeling a huge boost in

confidence because you don't even want

the attention from those women in the

first place it's a similar thing with

these attractive women that get hit on

by some 65-year-old dude who's married

with three kids and follows 7,000 models

on Instagram because that's not a

desirable option to them in the first

place and those same women get hate from

other women who Envy them and they find

it hard to make deeper connections with

most people because of that so bringing

this back to you if you're an attractive

guy struggling with these issues the

type of woman who can really understand

where you're coming from is a woman with

similar challenges but there is some

Nuance to this too it's not an exact

science as much as it is an art it's not

like dating a 9 out of 10 girl is going

to guarantee you happiness because you

just both understand each other it has

more to do with the girl's level of

security and confidence in herself a N9

out of 10 who is confident in her looks

and herself will be able to understand

where you're coming from because she has

a similar experience but a woman who is

a 9 out of 10 who is a train wreck

internally isn't going to help anything

but if you do look around in society you

will notice that people tend to date in

their leag in terms of looks so just by

the sake of what's likely to happen you

will likely get along better with a

woman who is at least somewhat around

your level of attractiveness now again

this isn't a hard and fast rule it's

just something to consider because there

also may be a girl out there who isn't a

supermodel in the looks department but

she's solid internally and doesn't

battle the same insecurities that other

women will when they're with you but in

general it's going to be difficult to

find people that understand you or the

specific problems that you encounter you

will likely also find it's hard to talk

to other guys about certain dating

experiences or stories because a lot of

them won't be able to attract the women

you can or understand the different

problems that you have with finding a

quality girl that you're actually

interested in and that's because you're

playing a different game than them

you're not the average guy this is also

one of the dangers of hanging out with

guys that aren't good with women because

they can project their insecurities onto

you or give bad advice that doesn't make

sense for your situation or they'll try

to live through you vicariously if you

compare this to business it it' be like

a local small business owner trying to

tell Jeff Bezos how to run Amazon or

give Tim Cook advice on how to run Apple

the advice could be good but it's

probably not because they're playing

completely different games in the realm

of business and this goes back to having

a tight Circle and filtering men out

just like how you have to filter women

out if they aren't a good fit for your

life because a lot of them won't want to

see you win it's just that classic crabs

in a bucket mentality and if you've made

it this far in the video and you've

exper some of this type of treatment I

want you to leave a comment down below

and speak on it and as an attractive guy

you will just have to learn how to be

resilient while still putting in the

effort to get to where you want to go in

a lot of ways it will continue to be a

lonely Journey for you but it's

important to never dumb yourself down or

to try to appeal to a lower common

denominator just to fit in you shouldn't

snuff out the flame of Your Excellence

just to appease others instead you want

to seek out people that are of a higher

caliber and that understand and relate

to you because they're out there both

men and women and look when it comes to

women things can feel confusing and

frustrating especially with the women

that seem like they aren't paying any

attention to you at all which is why you

should watch this video next where I

talk about why women won't always throw

signals and signs your way as a handsome

man and how to go about solving the

problem in order to get the girl