Stop Trying to Get It And You'll Have It | The Backwards Law

Summary

The video delves into the 'backwards law,' which asserts that the more we strive for happiness and fulfillment, the more they elude us. Using the metaphor of a 'pink elephant,' it illustrates how trying to suppress unwanted thoughts only intensifies them. Philosophers like Alan Watts and Arthur Schopenhauer argue that genuine contentment comes from accepting our current state and letting go of desires, rather than relentlessly pursuing external goals. The video ultimately suggests that true happiness is found in the acceptance of imperfection and the present moment, rather than through continual striving.

Takeaways

• 😀 The pink elephant metaphor illustrates the difficulty of suppressing intrusive thoughts and dissatisfaction.
• 😔 The more we strive for happiness or contentment, the more dissatisfied we may become.
• 🔄 The 'backwards law' suggests that pursuing something often leads to its opposite, reinforcing feelings of lack.
• 💡 True desires, like happiness, are often obscured by our relentless search for external validation and achievements.
• 📉 Setting high goals can amplify feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness rather than lead to fulfillment.
• 🌀 Schopenhauer's concept of the 'will' explains our incessant striving and its role in our suffering.
• 🧘‍♂️ Acceptance of imperfection and the present moment can lead to genuine contentment and happiness.
• 🌊 The analogy of a cloudy pond illustrates that clarity and contentment arise when we stop stirring up our desires.
• 🚫 Letting go of the need to chase happiness can paradoxically lead to its attainment.
• ✨ Life's mystery is best experienced rather than solved; embracing the journey rather than fixating on outcomes leads to deeper fulfillment.

Q & A

What is the 'pink elephant' metaphor meant to illustrate?

The 'pink elephant' represents intrusive thoughts and general dissatisfaction with life, showing how attempts to suppress these thoughts often make them more persistent.

What does the 'backwards law' propose?

The 'backwards law' suggests that the more we pursue something, the more likely we are to achieve the opposite of what we want, leading to greater disappointment.

How can letting go of the desire to achieve something lead to better outcomes?

By relinquishing the struggle and desire to achieve a specific outcome, we allow things to happen naturally, which can lead to the fulfillment we seek.

What does Alan Watts mean by stating that life is a reality to be experienced?

Watts emphasizes that life should be lived and experienced fully, rather than treated as a problem to be solved or a series of goals to achieve.

How does the transcript suggest we handle dissatisfaction?

The transcript suggests that instead of fighting dissatisfaction, we should accept our current state and let go of the need for constant striving.

What are the implications of Schopenhauer's view on the 'will'?

Schopenhauer argues that the 'will' drives us to incessantly strive for more, leading to suffering, and that true contentment comes from negating this 'will.'

What is the significance of the pond metaphor in the context of desire?

The pond metaphor illustrates that clarity and contentment can only be achieved by doing nothing and allowing our desires and dissatisfaction to settle, similar to how stirring muddy water keeps it cloudy.

Why might setting high goals lead to increased feelings of inadequacy?

Setting high goals can lead to a constant awareness of how far we are from achieving them, which can reinforce feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness in the present.

What does the concept of 'accepting imperfection' entail?

Accepting imperfection means recognizing and embracing our flaws and current circumstances, leading to a sense of completeness rather than striving for an unattainable ideal.

How does the 'backwards law' relate to the pursuit of happiness?

The 'backwards law' suggests that actively pursuing happiness can often lead to unhappiness, whereas embracing the present and letting go of desires can facilitate a more authentic experience of joy.