What getting TATTOOED taught me about women

Coach Kyle RAW

27 Sept 202414:59

Summary

TLDRIn this video, the speaker shares his 15-year experience with tattoos, discussing their impact on self-confidence, attraction, and mental toughness. He reflects on how tattoos once brought him attention, but emphasizes that confidence, not ink, is key to attraction. He touches on the pain, cost, and personal significance of long tattoo sessions, noting that tattoos should reflect personal aesthetic preferences, not be used to seek validation from others. The speaker highlights how enduring painful, week-long tattoo sessions has helped build his mental resilience.

Takeaways

💉 Tattoos can attract attention, especially when they are fresh, but their impact fades over time unless accompanied by other factors like confidence and appearance.
👀 Women are not solely attracted to tattoos; it's more about the confidence and energy a man exudes rather than just his tattoos.
💪 Confidence and physical fitness play a bigger role in attraction than just having tattoos or muscles alone.
🎯 Getting more tattoos may polarize your appeal, attracting some people while disqualifying you from others, especially as more visible tattoos are added.
🧠 The process of getting tattoos, especially in long sessions, can be mentally tough and serve as a way to build resilience and mental fortitude.
🤑 Tattoos are expensive, and some people travel to other countries to get quality work at lower rates, but it's important to invest in a look that suits you.
🔄 Getting tattooed has changed the speaker's self-perception, especially when younger, giving him more permission to act in line with his desired identity.
💡 It’s important to choose tattoos that have personal meaning, but it's also okay to select tattoos based on aesthetic preferences.
❌ Don’t get tattoos to impress others or attract women; get them because you are personally drawn to the aesthetic or meaning behind them.
🏋️‍♂️ Tattoos, combined with confidence, physical fitness, and mental toughness, contribute to creating a specific archetype of masculinity, but tattoos alone won’t define who you are.

Q & A

What was the speaker's first tattoo, and what was its significance?
-The speaker's first tattoo was an arm piece that commemorated his father, who had passed away. It included his father's birth and death dates and was significant because it was a tribute to his father.
How did getting his first tattoo affect the speaker's confidence and attention from others?
-After getting his first tattoo, the speaker felt cool and received a lot of attention. He got compliments from people, especially when the tattoo was fresh, and this boosted his confidence. However, this attention faded after the tattoo was no longer new.
Does the speaker believe tattoos alone make men more attractive to women?
-No, the speaker does not believe that tattoos alone make men more attractive to women. He explains that a man's confidence and overall energy are more important factors in attraction. Tattoos can accentuate an already confident man but are not enough to attract women on their own.
How does the speaker view the relationship between tattoos and personal identity?
-The speaker views tattoos as part of shaping one's identity. He mentions that getting his first tattoo in his early 20s gave him permission to act like the person he saw himself becoming. Over time, his tattoos became part of his identity, but now he chooses tattoos more for their aesthetic value rather than for a change in self-perception.
What mental challenges does the speaker associate with long tattoo sessions?
-The speaker describes long tattoo sessions as a mental battle. He compares enduring the pain of multiple days of tattooing to being tortured, but he uses these experiences as opportunities to develop mental toughness. He emphasizes the importance of accepting the pain and staying calm throughout the process.
What does the speaker say about the cost of tattoos?
-The speaker acknowledges that tattoos can be very expensive. He mentions that some people choose to get work done in countries like Colombia for cheaper rates, but he prefers to have his artist come to him. He believes the investment is worth it because he values the look that tattoos give him.
How does the speaker feel about getting tattoos for others' approval?
-The speaker strongly advises against getting tattoos to impress others, including women. He emphasizes that tattoos should be chosen for personal reasons and because the individual is drawn to the aesthetic, not for external validation.
What does the speaker say about how visible tattoos might affect one's appeal to different women?
-The speaker notes that more visible tattoos, such as on the neck or hands, might make a man more polarizing. Some women may be turned off by excessive tattoos, while others might be specifically drawn to them. As a result, having a lot of visible tattoos might limit one's appeal to a more niche audience.
How does the speaker approach the idea of choosing tattoos with meaning versus aesthetics?
-The speaker believes it's important to choose tattoos that are meaningful, especially for one's first few pieces. However, he also values aesthetics and doesn't think every tattoo needs deep meaning. He focuses on how the tattoo fits his overall look and character.
How does the speaker use uncomfortable situations, like tattoo sessions, as opportunities for growth?
-The speaker uses uncomfortable situations, such as long and painful tattoo sessions, as opportunities to develop mental toughness. He encourages embracing the discomfort, staying calm, and viewing it as a challenge to improve self-discipline and resilience.

Outlines

00:00

💉 Tattoos and Women's Attraction

The speaker reflects on his experience with tattoos and their impact on women's attraction. He shares that while tattoos initially drew attention when fresh, they didn’t make a significant difference in romantic pursuits. Compliments on tattoos came later in interactions, often when confidence and energy were evident, suggesting that confidence and presence are more attractive than tattoos themselves. He emphasizes that tattoos alone do not drastically alter a man's appeal; instead, they complement an already confident personality.

05:02

🖼️ Tattoos as Part of Identity

The speaker delves into his philosophy of tattoos as part of his personal archetype. He stresses that tattoos should reflect personal taste and identity rather than being used to attract women or impress others. While he has considered getting neck tattoos, he remains hesitant due to concerns about professionalism and the permanence of the look. Tattoos, combined with other elements like fitness and confidence, can contribute to a cohesive identity, but should not be relied upon solely for transformation.

10:02

🔥 The Mental Battle of Long Tattoo Sessions

In this section, the speaker discusses the mental and physical challenges of enduring long tattoo sessions. Having undergone multiple week-long stretches of tattooing, he describes the pain and discomfort associated with certain body areas, comparing it to torture. Despite the pain, he views the experience as a test of mental toughness and resilience. The endurance required during extended tattoo sessions has helped him cultivate mental strength, providing opportunities for personal growth by pushing through discomfort.

💸 The Cost of Tattoos and Personal Investment

The speaker touches on the high financial cost of tattoos, noting that while some people may seek cheaper options abroad, he prefers paying for quality work. He views the expense as an investment in himself, reflecting his love for the tattooed aesthetic. He advises others not to get tattoos to impress others, but rather for personal satisfaction and alignment with their identity. He reiterates that tattoos should be something a person is drawn to for themselves, not for external validation.

👤 Identity and Self-Perception with Tattoos

The speaker reflects on how getting his first tattoos impacted his self-perception. As a young man, the tattoos gave him a sense of identity and confidence, allowing him to see himself as 'that guy with tattoos.' Over time, however, his later tattoos had less of an impact on his sense of self, as he had already embraced his identity as a tattooed individual. He advises newcomers to choose meaningful tattoos that reflect something important, though he acknowledges that not every tattoo has to carry deep significance.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Tattoos

Tattoos are the central theme of the video, referring to permanent ink designs on the skin. The speaker shares his long-term experience with tattoos, discussing how they impact self-image, mental toughness, and social interactions, particularly with women. For example, the speaker notes how his first tattoo, dedicated to his late father, changed how he perceived himself and how others responded to him.

💡Confidence

Confidence is a crucial concept in the video. The speaker emphasizes that tattoos alone do not attract women; rather, it's the combination of tattoos with confidence and social flow that enhances attraction. He explains that when he feels confident and is in a good social state, women are more likely to notice and compliment his tattoos, showing that confidence is key to making tattoos impactful.

💡Mental toughness

Mental toughness is discussed in relation to enduring long tattoo sessions. The speaker describes how sitting through the pain of extended tattooing—often 40 to 50 hours over multiple days—can help build resilience and mental strength. He compares the experience to a form of self-imposed torture that forces him to accept discomfort and develop a stronger mindset.

💡Pain

Pain is a recurring theme in the video, especially in relation to the tattooing process. The speaker details how different parts of the body—such as the chest, spine, and behind the knee—are more painful to tattoo, and how enduring this pain for hours at a time requires mental discipline. The speaker sees this pain as an opportunity to develop mental toughness.

💡Women’s attraction

Women’s attraction to men with tattoos is explored throughout the video. The speaker explains that while tattoos may initially grab attention, they are not the sole reason women are attracted to men. Instead, attraction is more tied to confidence, energy, and how a man carries himself. Tattoos can enhance a man’s appearance, but they do not automatically make him more attractive without these other qualities.

💡Aesthetic

Aesthetic refers to the visual appeal of tattoos. The speaker discusses how he chooses tattoos for their aesthetic value, considering how they will look on his body as part of an overall 'character.' He advises viewers to get tattoos based on their personal taste and desired appearance, rather than trying to impress others or attract women.

💡Niche appeal

Niche appeal is used to describe how getting more visible tattoos, such as on the neck or hands, can attract a specific type of audience while potentially turning others off. The speaker notes that the more tattoos one gets, the more polarizing their appearance becomes, appealing to a smaller, more specific group of people.

💡Social flow

Social flow refers to being in a good state of social confidence and ease when interacting with others. The speaker highlights how, when he's in a positive social flow, women are more likely to notice and compliment his tattoos. This suggests that tattoos alone don’t drive attraction, but rather how a person engages socially.

💡Tattoo sessions

Tattoo sessions are the periods during which a person gets inked. The speaker describes his experience with long, grueling tattoo sessions, sometimes lasting 7 hours a day for a week. He emphasizes the mental and physical challenges of these sessions, such as dealing with pain and fatigue, but also the personal growth they foster.

💡Identity

Identity is an important theme in the video. The speaker talks about how his tattoos have shaped his self-identity, particularly when he was younger. After getting his first tattoo, he began to see himself as 'the tattooed guy,' which gave him more confidence and a stronger sense of who he was. However, as he matured, he realized that tattoos alone do not define a person's identity.

Highlights

The speaker has been getting tattooed for 15 years, starting with a piece dedicated to his late father.

Initially, tattoos can attract attention, but over time, they may become less noticeable and lose their initial impact.

Tattoos alone do not attract women. Confidence, personality, and energy play a more significant role in drawing attention.

Tattoos can enhance a confident man’s appearance but will not compensate for a lack of charisma or self-confidence.

As the amount of visible ink increases, the wearer becomes more polarizing, attracting a niche group while potentially disqualifying some women.

The speaker emphasizes not getting tattoos for others, particularly women, but for personal reasons and self-expression.

Getting tattooed for long periods, especially in painful areas, can be mentally challenging and can build mental toughness.

The speaker views long tattoo sessions as an opportunity for personal growth, likening the experience to mental training and endurance.

Tattooing is expensive, but for the speaker, it's a personal investment that aligns with his desired aesthetic.

Tattoos can become part of a person’s identity, particularly for those who are deeply connected to the meaning behind their first pieces.

The speaker advises people to choose their first tattoos wisely, especially if they hold significant meaning, as they contribute to a person’s self-image.

Not all tattoos need to have deep personal meaning—some can be aesthetic choices that enhance the overall look.

The speaker’s tattoos are a part of his overall archetype, shaping his character, style, and identity.

Long tattoo sessions can be painful and exhausting, but the speaker takes pride in enduring the pain without complaint.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of mental strength in handling discomfort and using challenging experiences like tattoo sessions for self-development.