Dan Bilzerian on Psychololgy of Hot Girls & best Advcie for Success

Summary

In this video transcript, the speaker discusses his experiences with addiction and the pressures of maintaining a brand image. He shares insights on dating and relationships, highlighting common mistakes men make, such as over-communicating interest and lacking confidence. The conversation delves into the importance of indirect approaches, the role of pre-selection in attraction, and the impact of societal conditioning on men's dating strategies. The speaker emphasizes the need for men to learn from their mistakes, build genuine connections, and maintain a sense of self-worth in the dating market.

Takeaways

• 🐒 The speaker used to feel like a 'sign spinning monkey', indicating a sense of being trapped in a repetitive and unrewarding cycle.
• 🔄 The transition to working with Ignite brought a 'higher level' of work, suggesting a significant positive change in the quality of work.
• 💔 The speaker openly discussed a past 'sex addiction', hinting at personal struggles and a desire for deep and honest conversation.
• 🚀 The launch of the Sigma society program indicates a proactive approach to help men improve their dating and social skills.
• 🙅‍♂️ A key mistake men make is 'overcommunicating interest', which can be off-putting and put them in a less appealing position.
• 🎯 The speaker emphasizes the importance of approaching interactions indirectly to avoid setting oneself up for rejection.
• 📚 Women are often more 'socially calibrated' due to societal expectations and the advice from books and peers, giving them an edge in dating.
• 🤔 The speaker suggests that men often underestimate the value of learning and applying effective strategies in dating, unlike other skills.
• 💪 The concept of 'pre-selection' is introduced as a powerful tool in dating, where being desired by others makes one more attractive.
• 🚫 The script warns against the mainstream narrative that being overly 'nice' is the key to success in dating, arguing it can be counterproductive.
• 🔄 The discussion highlights the importance of not just effort, but the right kind of effort, in achieving success in dating and relationships.

Q & A

What did the speaker feel like during his sign spinning monkey days?

The speaker felt like a rat on a treadmill, feeling obligated to keep doing things for the brand but eventually got over it.

What is the speaker's perspective on the role of dopamine in pleasure seeking?

The speaker believes that dopamine spikes from pleasure seeking are addictive, often stemming from a perceived lack in one's younger days.

What is the Sigma Society program launched by the speaker?

Sigma Society is a program that provides men with a blueprint on how to be attractive and successful in dating.

What are some of the biggest mistakes men make when approaching women, according to the speaker?

Men often massively overcommunicate interest in initial interactions, which can lead to them being perceived as less appealing due to the power dynamics it creates.

Why does the speaker advocate for an indirect approach when men interact with women?

An indirect approach avoids setting oneself up for rejection and allows the interaction to unfold without the immediate pressure of a binary acceptance or rejection.

How does the speaker compare the dating market to poker?

The speaker compares dating to poker, emphasizing the importance of not revealing one's hand too early, much like not showing all your cards in poker.

What does the speaker suggest is the reason behind women reading books on dating strategies?

Women are more socially calibrated due to constant interaction with men, and reading books allows them to refine their strategies, similar to how one would improve at poker knowing everyone's cards.

What is the speaker's view on the effectiveness of traditional dating advice?

The speaker believes much of the traditional dating advice is dead wrong and counterproductive, especially when it comes to the dynamics of attraction and maintaining power in relationships.

Why does the speaker think that masculinity is important in the dating market?

The speaker argues that masculinity is important because it's a trait that women are often attracted to, and the current culture's push for equality and against traditional masculinity is misleading men in the dating market.

What is the speaker's advice for men in relationships where they feel they are making too many sacrifices?

The speaker advises that men should not settle for making too many sacrifices in a relationship, as it can lead to a loss of respect and appreciation from their partner.

Outlines

00:00

🐒 Overcoming Personal Struggles and Addiction

The speaker begins by discussing his past as a 'sign spinning monkey' and feeling trapped in a monotonous routine. He describes his journey with Ignite, which helped him elevate his life to a higher level. He candidly shares his struggle with sex addiction, attributing it to a dopamine spike from pleasure-seeking and a perceived lack of female attention in his youth. The conversation shifts to his book, where he delves into the development of his addiction and his path to recovery.

05:01

🚀 Sigma Society: A Blueprint for Attraction

The speaker talks about his program, Sigma Society, which aims to provide men with strategies to become more attractive and successful in dating. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the current dating landscape and avoiding common mistakes. He identifies two main areas where men falter: during initial interactions and within relationships. He criticizes the tendency of men to overcommunicate interest, which can lead to a loss of power in relationships, and discusses the influence of media and societal expectations on men's approaches to dating.

10:02

🤔 The Psychology Behind Attraction and Dating

In this section, the speaker explores the psychological aspects of attraction and dating. He discusses the concept of pre-selection and jealousy as tools to increase a man's attractiveness. He argues that women are often more socially calibrated due to their experiences and the advice they receive from media and peers. The speaker also addresses the importance of indirect approaches to reduce anxiety and the impact of societal conditioning on men's dating strategies.

15:03

💪 Challenging Societal Norms and Stereotypes

The speaker criticizes societal norms that promote equality between men and women in dating, arguing that these norms are often misguided and counterproductive. He discusses the impact of mainstream media on men's understanding of attraction and the importance of embracing traditional masculine qualities. The conversation touches on the polarization in the dating market, where a small percentage of men are perceived as more successful, leading to unrealistic expectations among women.

20:03

🔥 The Impact of Sacrifice and Investment in Relationships

The speaker discusses the dynamics of power and investment in relationships. He warns against making too many sacrifices for a partner, as this can lead to a loss of respect and appreciation. He emphasizes the importance of balance and the need for both parties to invest in the relationship. The conversation also covers the reasons behind women cheating, with boredom and a lack of perceived value in the relationship being highlighted as key factors.

Keywords

💡Pleasure seeking

Pleasure seeking refers to the pursuit of activities or experiences that provide enjoyment or gratification. In the context of the video, it is associated with dopamine spikes, which are neurochemical responses in the brain that create feelings of pleasure. The speaker suggests that an addiction to seeking pleasure, such as in the case of sex addiction, can stem from a perceived lack in one's younger years, leading to an overcompensation later in life.

💡Sex addiction

Sex addiction is a term used to describe a compulsive sexual behavior that interferes with one's normal life. The video discusses the speaker's personal experience with sex addiction, highlighting how it can become a coping mechanism for perceived deficiencies in one's early life. The script touches on the challenges of overcoming such an addiction and the impact it can have on one's personal and social life.

💡Sigma society

Sigma society is a program mentioned in the script that aims to provide men with guidance on improving their attractiveness and success in dating. The term 'Sigma' often refers to a person who is confident, self-sufficient, and does not need the validation of others. In the video, it is presented as a resource to help men understand and navigate the complexities of modern dating dynamics.

💡Overcommunication of interest

Overcommunication of interest is a behavior where an individual expresses too much interest too soon in an interaction, often leading to a loss of attraction or power in the interaction. The video script uses this term to describe a common mistake men make when approaching women, which can result in the woman feeling less attracted because the man appears too eager or desperate.

💡Anxiety and fear of rejection

Anxiety and fear of rejection are emotions that can hinder individuals from approaching or engaging with others, particularly in romantic contexts. The script discusses how these feelings can be barriers for men when interacting with women, and suggests strategies for overcoming them, such as taking an indirect approach to avoid setting oneself up for rejection.

💡Indirect approach

An indirect approach in the context of the video refers to a strategy of not explicitly communicating one's interest or intentions in the early stages of interaction. This approach is recommended to avoid overcommunication of interest and to reduce the risk of immediate rejection, allowing the interaction to develop more naturally.

💡Pre-selection

Pre-selection is a social proof strategy where an individual displays that they are already desired by others, which can make them more attractive to potential partners. In the video, the speaker talks about using pre-selection as a way to increase one's desirability in the eyes of others, by demonstrating that they have other options and are not solely focused on one person.

💡Tunnel vision

Tunnel vision, in the context of the video, describes a state of mind where an individual is so focused on a singular goal, such as pursuing a romantic interest, that they fail to see the bigger picture or consider alternative strategies. The speaker warns against this mindset, as it can lead to making poor decisions and not recognizing one's own mistakes in social interactions.

💡Masculinity

Masculinity, as discussed in the video, refers to traditional male characteristics, roles, and behaviors. The script touches on the idea that societal messages and cultural shifts have led to a devaluation of masculinity, which the speaker believes is detrimental to men's ability to navigate the dating landscape effectively.

💡Power dynamics

Power dynamics in relationships refer to the balance of influence and control between two individuals. The video discusses how men often give up power in relationships by over-investing and not requiring investment in return, which can lead to a loss of respect and attraction from their partners. The speaker emphasizes the importance of maintaining a balance of power for a healthy and mutually satisfying relationship.

Highlights

The speaker feels compelled to perform for the brand, leading to a sense of being overworked.

Ignite's return to action is described as a significant improvement in performance.

A struggle with sex addiction is acknowledged, with a candid discussion about its impact.

The link between pleasure seeking, dopamine spikes, and addiction is explored.

The speaker discusses launching the Sigma society, a program aimed at helping men improve their dating success.

Common mistakes men make in initial interactions and relationships are highlighted.

The dangers of overcommunicating interest and the impact on attraction are explained.

Anxiety and fear of rejection are identified as major issues for men when approaching women.

The importance of an indirect approach to reduce the risk of rejection is emphasized.

Women's awareness and strategies in dating, influenced by books and social learning, are discussed.

The speaker argues that men often neglect to apply strategic thinking in dating as they would in other areas of life.

The concept of pre-selection and its role in attraction is introduced.

The speaker shares insights on how to elicit jealousy and create social proof to appear more attractive.

The challenges faced by men in the dating market are compared to the dynamics of poker playing.

The speaker reflects on the process of compiling data and developing the Sigma society program.

The importance of avoiding common dating mistakes to improve success rates is stressed.

The negative effects of putting in too much effort early in a relationship are discussed.

The speaker addresses the issue of tunnel vision in dating and its detrimental effects on men's approach.

The role of masculinity in dating success and the impact of societal messages on men's dating strategies are examined.

The speaker shares a personal story of helping a friend improve his dating life, highlighting the potential for change with guidance.

The necessity of the Sigma society program due to the lack of accurate dating advice for men is explained.

Transcripts

I was a [ __ ] sign spinning monkey you

know I was like a rat on a [ __ ]

treadmill and I kind of felt like I had

to keep doing this stuff for the brand

and whatever but I was kind of over like

I just done everything and with Ignite

we kind of like came back and did

everything like on a [ __ ] way higher

level MH and that was cool but I just

like I said man I got over it you know I

was like just doing the same [ __ ] all

the time and um can only [ __ ] I mean I

had a bad sex addiction you know it's

just [ __ ] girls three four times a

day every day it's like can you tell us

about like because you know you've

talked about that in your book um can

you tell us like how that came to be and

then how you got over it the sex

addiction

yeah I

think I don't know it's just like a I

mean pleasure seeking is like dopamine

spikes right dopamine's addictive so you

want to feel good it makes you feel good

it's kind of something that I think gets

ingrained from a perceived lack and I

think when I was younger I had a

perceived lack of girls and

so yeah just [ __ ] went way the other

direction yeah now you've been doing it

for a while and actually you just

launched a program Sigma society and you

kind of give guys like the blueprint on

you know how to be attractive how to get

girls and we've had discussions on this

as well um but I think this is something

that's definitely needed especially in

today's like dating Marketplace what

would you say is like some of the

biggest mistakes that guys make when it

comes to like getting girls and

maintaining that

attraction well it's there's it's

twofold there's like what mistakes they

they do going into interactions and then

there's the mistakes that they make in

the relationships and I think both

things were frustrating for me I was

watching my friends in these

relationships where they had just lost

all their power and they're just getting

bitched around or like kissing ass to a

girl that's way [ __ ] beneath them and

then I see a lot of guys getting blown

out in the initial interaction because

they go in and they just massively

overcommunication interest and I think

that's probably the biggest mistake that

guys make and that's kind of what

they're told that's what Hollywood tells

them that's like kind of the accepted

thing is to go up to a girl give her a

bunch of compliments and the problem

with that is it puts her in a position

of like okay I know I can have this guy

do I want him and when you're looking at

something through that lens all the

flaws magnify and it just makes a thing

less appealing and I think guys they

just make that mistake and they don't

know any better yeah and I was able to

look at like some of your stuff which

thank you for the you know access to

some of it um and you're real big on

like telling guys like hey to overcome

the anxiety you want to kind of approach

it from an indirect perspective would

you say anxiety and fear of rejection is

like most guys biggest issue when it

comes to talking to women yeah I think

it's a big problem and I think when you

go in and you know take more of an

indirect approach where you're not

overcommunication interests you don't

set yourself up for rejection right like

if you go in tell a girl how beautiful

she is or you ask her out on a date or

you ask for a number it's kind of like a

binary response she either has to accept

or reject and usually women's default

setting is to reject so I think that you

know even if they like you yeah I mean

it's just they're just used to it and

then they expect the guy to Chase and

then eventually they'll you know

whatever ever but they keep the guy

chasing chasing chasing and that's what

these books like the rules and all these

you know books that these women have it

teaches them to do is to keep the guy

chasing and that just puts them in a

massive position of power because their

flaws disappear and that guy's flaws

magnify and I just don't want to see

guys in that position because it's

unnecessary like you can go in you can

open the interaction you can start

talking to a girl without letting her

know like it's like playing poker these

guys just like want to [ __ ] flip

their cards over it's like a lot harder

to [ __ ] win in poker when everybody

can see your [ __ ] cards you mentioned

something that is very interesting about

the rules and girls reading books I

think this is something that needs to be

talked about more like guys don't

understand that like women actually like

read books and practice this crap like

they don't like like a lot of guys go in

clueless but like girls number one they

already deal with men all the time and

then number two a lot of them talk to

each other about this very thing and

there's books on it like can you talk

about that a little bit like how

educated women really are when it comes

to like finessing men dating them

extracting value without necessarily

giving value back yeah I mean you know

to give the poker analogy again it's

like you know women are playing poker

and they're just seeing cards well you

get better at poker if you knew

everybody's [ __ ] card and you saw

every time somebody's blow you know what

I mean you just learn faster and I feel

like that's what happens to women like

from the time they're like 13 14 years

old like all these guys are hitting on

them communicating interest letting them

know like hey I want to sleep with you

and when they do that then it's like

okay they correlate all these things the

guys do with a guy wanting to sleep with

them so they're just more socially

calibrated and the way I would you know

explain it for a guy is it's like the

guy just goes in the gym sees a heavy

bag and starts hitting the heavy bag

well if you hit a heavy bag for 10,000

hours you're not going to be a [ __ ]

great boxer but if you get some [ __ ]

coaching and some training and you spend

[ __ ] 100 hours you're going to be

better than that guy that spent 10,000

hours just Drilling in all the [ __ ]

bad techniques and all the wrong [ __ ] I

think that's what guys do is like and

it's good to have volume like it's good

to just get out there and [ __ ] do

this stuff but if you don't do it

correctly you're just you know your

chances of success are going to [ __ ]

go down dramatically and that's true of

anything [ __ ] golf I just don't

understand why guys will take [ __ ]

Direction with golf and [ __ ] bad or

pingpong or whatever the [ __ ] ever chess

they get for everything other than the

most important thing they're [ __ ]

doing which is you know choosing their

[ __ ] lifelong partner or the girl

that they're dating or whoever you're

spending the most time with and that's

going to be your girlfriend your wife

whatever or somebody you have kids with

and now you're stuck with them whether

you like it or not for the next 18

[ __ ] years that's like a pretty

important thing and I feel like guys

just assume like oh like I got this or I

know what the [ __ ] to do and they just

don't yeah they don't and and it's even

worse because like you mentioned all

those hours like if you mention like

practice all these hours with bad

technique it's gonna like set in and

it's way harder to to unlearn a bad

habit than to learn a new one yeah like

taking a guy that's never done any

[ __ ] boxing and just teaching him the

proper technique from the start is

easier than like having them unlearn all

the mistakes that they've been making so

you know while I think a guy that goes

out and just you know has a bunch of

experience is going to be better off

than a guy that doesn't do anything I'm

just saying like there's a version where

you can learn the right thing to do and

then put in [ __ ] time and get there a

lot faster I'm all about like doing the

least amount of effort and getting the

most amount of volume in the the

shortest period of time possible and

it's like I want them to have as many

positive interactions as possible

because that's going to give them more

confidence more confidence deals better

results it's kind of like a snowball

that can go in One Direction or can go

the [ __ ] other yeah and most guys it

goes the [ __ ] wrong direction and

then they just you know convince

themselves I'm not good-look you know

enough for women or women don't like me

or whatever and they're right but the

difference is like they can do something

about that and I think that's one thing

that guys don't understand is like women

can't really make themselves that much

better looking like they can do a little

bit of stuff they're born ugly they're

kind of [ __ ] but guy's born ugly he's

still like we can make up another way

elon's not goodl looking like you know

[ __ ] you know Seth Rogan's [ __ ]

ugly like there's plenty of ugly guys

that get a ton of [ __ ] yep and you know

there's just like there's 12 different

attraction triggers that you can [ __ ]

Implement and like you know

pre-selection is one that a lot of guys

don't understand and that's one that I

use like you know one of the best you're

you're one of the best guys when it

comes to pre-selection by far buddy I

could go into a club with two or three

girls that really wanted to [ __ ] me that

I had been [ __ ] that were all over me

and just literally like point at other

girls they didn't even know who the [ __ ]

I was but because hot girls were

interested in me obviously that's not

like a you know easily transferable one

to other guys but there's different

versions of that like you know I mean

you can elicit jealousy pretty [ __ ]

easily just on your story just making

girls think about you like let's say

you're out of a [ __ ] bar and you take

a picture of a martini glass and your

beer you know she's you know girls going

to wonder like oh who is he with you

know what I mean like and that's a

pretty easy thing to do so you don't

have to have three girls lining up to

[ __ ] you to implement pre- selection and

jealousy and a lot of things that are

like really powerful for getting a girl

to want to sleep with you you know and

it's interesting because not many people

talk about this you know I mean

obviously guys like yourself me we talk

about this but like you know

conventional dating coaches are like

just be a nice guy take her out blah

blah blah and I think nowadays if you're

not like willing to talk about these

uncomfortable realities when it comes to

female nature like you're just not going

to get ahead and pre-selection is I

would argue one of the best and

strongest triggers and it's social proof

you can't fake that yeah it's super

powerful and you got a lot of these like

you know male dating coaches or guys

giving advice that are like super

good-looking guys have never had any

[ __ ] problems that you know like

stuff that works for them is not going

to work for the average guy and then you

have women teaching this stuff and it's

like the women are the worst comical man

yeah cuz they they can't even tell you

what they want like if you ask most

women like what they want in a guy and

then you look at the last five or 10

guys they [ __ ] they have like almost

none of these things so like they don't

even know what they want it's not really

about what they say that they want it's

what they respond to that I focused on

and so look I had a big sample size of

girls that wanted to [ __ ] that I screwed

it up with and a big sample size of

girls that wanted to fight me that I

also [ __ ] and until you have that

control group which most guys don't have

until you have that volume you can't

really run an experiment and figure out

like what works and what doesn't work

and I look at you know dating kind of

like poker in the beginning like you

know everybody had Theory and a lot of

guys thought this was the right thing

and you know there's a lot of guys that

agreed like you know after like 10 years

like all the best players agreed this

this and this was right and they had the

supercomputers and the quants that just

like figured the [ __ ] out and then we

realized like how wrong we were about

certain things that we were sure of and

I think dating is similar like I think

there's a lot of like really bad

accepted advice out there that's just

dead wrong that a lot of people think is

right yeah and you you know you spent

quite a bit of time well obviously from

like dealing with women throughout your

lifetime but you also spend a lot of

time like compiling data for this

specific program remember me and you

talking about it almost like two years

ago like we've been working on this for

a while it was harder than I thought you

know take us through that well just cuz

a guy can box doesn't mean he can teach

somebody how to [ __ ] box right and so

like I had to actually like break down

like what would work for other guys why

things work for me why things didn't

work for me the big thing was figuring

out the mistakes like we just need to

start there like if guys just wouldn't

make 10 of the most common mistakes like

they would have 99% better [ __ ]

results so like you know stop making the

mistakes and and also like small tweaks

will have a massive Downstream impact on

like your success or your failure and so

a lot of this isn't necessary in fact

you know it's not necessarily like

putting in more effort in fact a lot of

times it's putting in less effort to get

a better result because a lot of guys

correlate this with like business where

it's like I put in a bunch of effort I

get a promotion I show up at [ __ ]

3:00 a.m. and change my Bud's Tire I

have his back in a fight like he's going

to be a better friend like all this

stuff which is true but all that effort

that you put into a girl before you

[ __ ] her actually cut Cuts against you

I agree with them bro I've always told

guys this like putting a bunch of Sweat

Equity and time into a girl a lot of the

times is actually one of the few

endeavors where it's counterproductive

it's 100% counterproductive like almost

unequivocally I mean this is not like in

a long-term relationship right like this

is before you [ __ ] the girl the more

effort that you put in absolutely will

cut against you yeah and people just

like don't value what they can have very

easily and if you're [ __ ] chasing

after a girl if you're putting in a ton

of effort you are in that category of

somebody that she can [ __ ] have she

knows that she can have you with very

little effort because you're the one

putting in the effort two people can't

[ __ ] chase only one person can chase

and so in the relationship some is

always

pursuing and you know I I don't I just

[ __ ] don't want the guy chasing after

the girl so hard that she can never

chase after him you mentioned something

really interesting in one of your videos

when I was watching where when guys are

chasing they're almost like in tunnel

vision and when they're in this tunnel

vision they're not necessarily looking

at like their mistakes they're so

focused on pursuing the girl and like

getting laid that they're not even

looking at the behaviors they're

demonstrating to chase after the girl

can you talk about that a little in a

little bit more detail why that tunnel

vision is so bad

it puts them in a bad frame it and and

this is the frame that most guys go into

it from is like this girl's hot how do I

get her and what that frame is is this

girl's looks are enough I'm going to do

whatever I can get whatever I can do to

get this girl just based on the fact

that she's hot and most girls do not

value the things that they didn't have

to work for she didn't have to work for

the fact that she's hot right so hot

girl sees a guy pursuing her and

automatically like anybody pursuing you

anybody that's working hard to get your

you know attention or respect or

whatever is by default beneath you like

you're not trying to [ __ ] impress the

janitor yeah you know you're not trying

to impress somebody that you don't feel

like is better than you so just by

Framing the interaction like that and

especially early in the interaction when

these guys go up and overc communicate

interest before the girl has earned it

in any way shape or form based on like

who she is and it's just based on her

looks automatically she's going to look

at this guy as like okay he's not very

Discerning he doesn't have a lot of

options like me being cute is enough I

can have him do I want him and that's

not the [ __ ] spot that I want these

guys going in especially with hot girls

because like the hotter the girl the

more [ __ ] that are pursuing her

when you've got 10 options and they're

ruthless too yeah when you got you can't

make as many mistakes with a hot chick

as you could with like a mid or an ugly

girl like like you make one stupid

mistake with a hot girl and you're done

yeah because like think of a dating show

if you have [ __ ] 10 20 options like

you're not going to go for the first

[ __ ] one you're going to sit back be

like okay I know I can have all 20 of

these which one do I want and that's

usually the position that a hot girl's

in yeah and what I want the guy to do is

get the girl in a position of like oh

maybe I might lose this guy this guy has

other options other women want him I

want to compete you know just think

about like an auction you know like your

mentality in an auction is very

different than when a traveling salesman

shows up at your [ __ ] doorstep and

tries to sell you know whatever the [ __ ]

he wants to sell when somebody tries to

sell you you're looking at what's wrong

with the [ __ ] thing you know let's

say a business deal you know all your

buddies are getting into a business deal

and there's like you know the [ __ ]

thing is closing and like you just want

to get in like how do I get in and

that's the way you want to a woman

looking at you is like I don't want to

lose this guy he's got other women

pursuing him not like you know and

another thing that guys do is they overc

communicate you know their availability

they tell the girl they over assure the

girl like you're the only girl that I'm

talking to yeah you they do that all the

time you know it's like yeah just

because like that's what they want to

hear but that's not what's going to be

affected with the girl so a lot of these

guys like think like okay if this is

what I would want to hear that's what

the girl would want to hear and you're

not in the same [ __ ] position as a

hot girl unless you're like a super

[ __ ] famous even then your mindset is

different because the girl wants to like

date a guy the guy wants to [ __ ] the

girl like don't try and think like oh

just because if for me it'll be true for

her that's just [ __ ] wrong that's

such a great Point like you like you

sitting there and saying like you're the

only girl I'm talking to is like not the

same as her saying that to you like it's

her job to not be a [ __ ] it's your job

to be attractive and if you're a [ __ ] by

by definition whatever who cares right

as a guy well it's just it's just a very

different thing it's like the whole lock

and key analogy right like the [ __ ]

key that opens a bunch of locks is a

good key the [ __ ] locked because open

all the keys a shitty lock right so like

because women have the choice it's a

very different thing like you know if a

girl's you know been [ __ ] by 100 guys

it [ __ ] massively lowers her value if

a guy's had sex with 100 girls it means

that he's desirable he's confident he's

probably decent in bed like it says a

lot right it says a lot of good things

right and so I think it's one of those

things where you just have to understand

the difference in Psychology between a

woman and a man and like this whole

culture is pushed like everything is

equal men and women are the same it's

just like and that [ __ ] up guys

mentality like they kill masculinity

they're like doing all these things

which I think is another reason why men

are having such a [ __ ] bad time in

the dating Market is because they're

being programmed with all the [ __ ]

that's like counter to the [ __ ] truth

which is like masculinity is bad you

know like women want the super nice guy

equal Partners it's just all [ __ ]

it's just all [ __ ] that's why like

the [ __ ] girl is not always dating

the [ __ ] nice guy there's like a line

full of them at every [ __ ] Walmart

that are invisible to women like they

don't want what they say that they want

they want the guy that's like you know

interesting that they might not be able

to get the guy that's you know going to

be exciting like that's the things that

girls go after like and you see it in

some movies you see it in like the

[ __ ] romcoms where they just like

you know put the gay guy in there and

like shows up with the flowers and the

[ __ ] chocolates and gets the girl

which is just like absolute nonsense but

then sometimes there's more accurate

depictions where like the girl ends up

falling for the bad boy and if you look

at like the qualities that the bad boy

has that's something that's attractive

to most women so that's like one thing

that Hollywood got right but like most

guys don't ever try and like you know

take on those qualities they take on the

qualities of like the main character the

[ __ ] super nice guy that ends up with

the girl but that's just like that's not

how the real world works yeah no it's

it's yeah it it's crazy how popular

media you know movies television Etc

like they're just basically telling guys

yeah be cucks and you'll get girls and

it's like no dude that's not how it

works it's it's crazy me how

counterproductive um mainstream media is

with like telling guys how to actually

be attractive cuz what it takes to be

actually be attractive shows like on

flat in realities about women that

people don't want to hear yeah I mean

and you see it in the dating market

right like back 50 years ago like the

average guy got an average girl and

everything was decent and like it's like

you know the same thing with wealth like

all these things have just been so

polarized now it's like 5% of guys get

all the girls and the rest of guys have

like [ __ ] no shot yeah and that's why

I felt like I should do this because I

felt like there are so many guys just

like quitting yeah that's what I was

going to ask you next like what made you

like want to do this you know there's a

guy I was like playing video games with

kind of [ __ ] nerdy dude didn't get a

lot of [ __ ] like didn't work out like

this [ __ ] and I just kind of like took

him under my wing and like got him on

HRT got him in the [ __ ] gym like got

him to stop smoking weed and now he's

you know got a girlfriend and she's

[ __ ] pregnant is he stopped smoking

weed he's working out all the time like

his entire life [ __ ] changed off you

just giving him some tips yeah I didn't

have to do that much you know just to

like kind of like Point him in the right

direction like stop him from doing the

same [ __ ] mistakes that all these

other guys made I know you mentioned

this guy last time we spoke yeah cool so

you guys are still talking yeah yeah I

mean like I said he just got he just got

a girl pregnant he's like he's happy

yeah it's it's crazy so and you were

like you know what I need to scale this

out and help more guys well I just felt

like nobody was giving them the right

information yeah there was just so much

bad information there L you know it's

like you [ __ ] get a bad M cuz they

censor you when you give this good

information out they they'll say you're

mogist they'll ban you off Tik Tok me

and you were talking about Tik Tok

earlier yeah I mean that's a part of it

but I also feel like there's not a lot

of guys that have figured this out like

you really have to like go out there and

just like you know figure out what works

and what doesn't work and the only way

to do that is to have a big sample size

and I feel like a lot of these like male

dating coaches like they have a lot of

theory and like stuff sounds good but

like these guys don't get a lot of [ __ ]

facts you they outside they're not like

you know you have to [ __ ] like hundreds

or thousands of girls to figure this

[ __ ] out you know it's kind of like one

of these things where since there is no

[ __ ] road map there is no like

established like right directions and

wrong directions everybody kind of like

starts from [ __ ] zero well actually

now they don't start from zero back in

our day we started from [ __ ] zero

like now they start [ __ ] you know

from like a negative 5050 because like

they've been programmed with all this

bad [ __ ] so they have to like unlearn

all the bad [ __ ] and then only then are

they starting off at [ __ ] Baseline

coupled with the fact that women expect

way more now like they have these crazy

[ __ ] delusions of what they deserve

or what's like you know like you know

what's an average guy like just like

what they think is normal or average is

so [ __ ] skewed when I ask girls how

much money do you think an average guy

makes on her show almost every time

$100,000 a year [ __ ] crazy bro like

the average guy is only making like 30

to 50K depending on where they live but

like the average girl thinks the average

guy is making $100,000 per year which

lets you know like these a lot of these

chicks like expect a lot off rip yeah

and the problem is they go out there and

they [ __ ] all these 5% guys and then

they end up just like settling for some

rich guy that's going to take care of

them and the rich guy thinks like he got

this great girl and the girl's like just

with him so he'll pay her [ __ ] bills

because she feels like she can't get one

of these 5% guys to actually date her so

it's like automatically that interaction

sucks and one of the things I tell guys

like you want to make a girl want to

[ __ ] you there's like there's girls that

want to [ __ ] guys there's girls that

want to date guys and there's a

combination right and I want guys in the

bucket of like the girl wants to date me

and she also wants to [ __ ] me or just

that she wants to [ __ ] me and then you

can make her want to date you but like

the category that you absolutely don't

want to be in is the category of like

she wants to date me but she doesn't

want to [ __ ] me yeah because those are

the guys that get taken advantage of

absolutely and that's guys this is

important [ __ ] man um and and I'm

important that it's I'm glad that we're

like rehashing this cuz you have to like

drill this in a guy's head like so many

times cuz right now there's somebody

watching that probably doesn't get sex

from his girlfriend or his wife or his

fiance like she stopped [ __ ] him and

he's just saying her like I'm still

going to marry her it's like no dude

like you're literally setting yourself

up for failure yeah I mean that's like

the biggest manipulation tactic ever if

a girl's ever just like you know using

her [ __ ] or [ __ ] or something as

like a tool to get what she wants like

you're already in a [ __ ] horrendous

position and I and I think a lot of guys

don't realize like how they get in this

position it's like small little battles

lost you know it's like there's there's

this [ __ ] War for power going on and

small victories and small [ __ ]

defeats add up and these guys you know

they'll just cave or they'll be like oh

you know happy wife happy life like let

me just appease the wife and it's like

they appease them appease them appease

them into the point where like the girl

loses respect for the guy and then

cheats on him the guy just gets

blindsided has no idea where it came

from and I see that a lot where these

women they just like subconsciously like

lose you know respect for the guys over

time and then the guy is just so

surprised when she cheats on him he's

like but I was such a good boyfriend and

I never cheated on her I always told the

truth and I was there for and I did this

and I did that and it's just like you

know when you when you make too many

sacrifices for a woman they become

expected and not appreciated and a lot

of guys end up in this category where

they're just making more and more

sacrifices trying to win the girl's

approval and that's just actually

subconsciously driving her away because

she's never having to invest in the guy

she's never having to like do anything

for the guy so it just puts her in a

constant state of like okay I know I can

have this guy do I want him and then

she's looking for other options versus

like when she's wondering what's this

guy doing you know like you know how do

I get him to stop talking to this other

girl like you know I want to make him

you know mine like I don't want him

talking to other girls like all this

stuff that makes her want to work for

the guy and the more you work for

something the more you value it and I

think a lot of guys are in these

relationships with the woman isn't

working for the guy at all and when

you're in that spot like like I said you

don't really value things you don't work

for would you say that's the number one

reason why women cheat because obviously

a lot of girls have like cheat on their

boyfriends with you and you found out

after the fact like would you say that's

like one of the top reasons why girls

cheat I mean it always starts with he

was so nice but so I would say so I

would say [ __ ] terrible I would say

being bored I think a lot of women get

bored in a relationship a lot of women

like know that the guy's never going

anywhere that he doesn't really have any

other options like he's completely

invested not that that's like a bad

thing is that you know to be dedicated

to a woman but be dedicated to a woman

because you like her not because you

don't have other options yeah you know

you're choosing her versus you're just

get settling what you can settling yeah

exactly for the low hanging fruit and I

think a lot of guys end up in that spot

and if you're not willing to [ __ ]

walk you're never going to have power

and I think a lot of these guys are not

willing to walk yeah that's very true um

so you've been compiling