Table Manners 101: Basic Dining Etiquette

Summary

In this video, Kyle from The Distilled Man offers practical tips on table manners and etiquette for dining out. He emphasizes that table manners are about being considerate and respectful, not just following rigid rules. The video covers essential aspects such as proper posture, the right way to use utensils, understanding place settings, and knowing when to begin eating. Kyle also explains the two main styles of eating with a knife and fork, offers advice on finger foods, and reminds viewers of the importance of chewing before speaking. These simple guidelines will help you navigate formal meals with ease and confidence.

Takeaways

• 😀 Table manners are about being considerate and respectful to others, not just about following arbitrary rules.
• 😀 Good table manners can reveal a lot about your upbringing, refinement, and awareness of those around you.
• 😀 Always silence your phone and put it away before sitting down at the table.
• 😀 Wait for everyone to be seated before you sit down yourself, and follow the host or hostess's cues.
• 😀 Place your napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down, and use it throughout the meal to blot your mouth and keep clean.
• 😀 Maintain an upright posture while sitting, avoid slouching, and keep your elbows off the table while eating.
• 😀 You can rest your elbows on the table during conversations or between courses, but not while eating.
• 😀 Use the 'b' for bread and 'd' for drink trick to easily identify your bread plate and water glass in a place setting.
• 😀 Start with the utensils placed on the outside and work your way in, using the correct utensil for each course.
• 😀 Wait until everyone is served before starting your meal, and follow the host's lead in formal settings.
• 😀 There are two main ways to hold a fork and knife: American (switching hands) and Continental (keeping fork in the non-dominant hand). Both are acceptable.
• 😀 Don’t reach across the table; instead, politely ask someone to pass items like salt or pepper.
• 😀 It's fine to eat certain foods with your fingers (e.g., pizza, chicken wings), but use judgment and consider using utensils if it might get messy.
• 😀 Never talk with your mouth full of food, and always be mindful of the impression you're making while eating.

Q & A

What are table manners really about?

Table manners are about being considerate and respectful to those around you. They reflect your overall refinement, upbringing, and self-awareness, especially in social settings where you’re dining with others.

Why are table manners particularly important during meals?

Table manners are important during meals because there are many ways to inadvertently gross someone out while eating—like slurping, chomping, or burping. In contrast, being polite during a meal helps foster a more pleasant dining experience.

What should you do before sitting down at a dining table?

Before sitting down, you should silence your phone to avoid distractions and wait for everyone to gather around the table. Additionally, it’s polite to wait for the host or hostess's cue before sitting, if applicable.

What is the proper way to use a napkin during a meal?

When you sit down, place the napkin on your lap immediately. It’s your friend during the meal—use it to blot your mouth and keep it clean. In very formal settings, you may wait for the host to indicate when to place it on your lap.

Is it okay to place elbows on the table during a meal?

While eating, you should avoid placing your elbows on the table. However, it’s acceptable to put your elbows on the table during conversation between courses or after the meal, when you’re not actively eating.

How can you remember which utensil to use during a formal meal?

To navigate a formal place setting, start with the utensils furthest from your plate and work your way in. This is because utensils are laid out in the order of courses, so you’ll use the outermost utensils first.

What’s the ‘b’ for bread and ‘d’ for drink trick in formal dining?

The ‘b’ for bread and ‘d’ for drink rule is a simple trick to remember which side of the plate your bread and drink should be on. Bread goes on the left side, and the drink goes on the right side.

What are the two main styles of using a fork and knife during a meal?

There are two primary ways to use a fork and knife: the American Style, where you switch hands with the fork and knife, and the Continental Style, where you keep the fork in your non-dominant hand and cut with your dominant hand. Both styles are acceptable.

How should you behave if you need to reach for something across the table?

You should never reach across someone else’s plate. Instead, politely ask the person to pass the item to you. This helps avoid awkwardness and keeps the dining experience smooth.

When is it appropriate to eat with your fingers at a formal dinner?

It’s acceptable to eat certain foods with your fingers, such as pizza, tacos, or ribs. However, if the food could get messy, it’s better to use a fork to avoid making a mess.

What is the general rule about talking with food in your mouth?

It’s considered impolite to talk with food in your mouth. Chewing and talking at the same time can make the conversation unpleasant, so it’s best to wait until you’ve swallowed before speaking.