Heroin Addiction, Recovery and No Shame | Crystal Oertle | TEDxColumbus
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares their journey from opioid addiction to recovery, detailing the progression from painkillers to heroin and the daily struggle to obtain drugs. They recount the emotional toll on their family and the turning point when their mother's plea for change led them to seek help. The story emphasizes the importance of support and overcoming societal stigma to seek treatment.
Takeaways
- 💊 The speaker's addiction began at 20 with a single Vicadin pill, highlighting how easily addiction can start.
- 🔄 As tolerance grew, so did the need for stronger pain medications like Oxycontin and Dilaudid, illustrating the progression of addiction.
- 🚫 The speaker was reluctant to try heroin due to societal stigma but did so out of desperation, showing the lengths addiction can drive someone.
- 🚗 The daily commute to Columbus for heroin reflects the extreme measures taken to feed an addiction.
- 📞 The detailed process of securing drugs involved phone calls and specific instructions, indicating the organized nature of the drug trade.
- 👨👩👧👦 The speaker's children were often involved in these trips, demonstrating the collateral damage of addiction on family.
- 🚔 An incident where the speaker was pulled over with her child in the car didn't deter her addiction, showing the power of addiction over rational thinking.
- 🏥 The speaker's son was bitten by a dog and taken to the hospital while she was away scoring heroin, a poignant example of the neglect caused by addiction.
- 😡 The son's anger and attempt to intervene by showing the grandmother the drug paraphernalia didn't stop the speaker, underscoring the difficulty of breaking addiction.
- 👵 A serious conversation with the mother was the turning point, emphasizing the role of family in recovery.
- 🙌 The speaker's recovery was supported by her family without judgment, stressing the importance of a supportive environment for addicts.
- 🗣️ Sharing her story publicly aims to reduce the stigma around heroin addiction and encourage others to seek help, showing the power of personal testimony.
Q & A
What was the initial trigger for the speaker's addiction?
-The speaker's addiction began when they were offered a Vicadin at the age of 20 and they liked the effect it had on them.
What was the progression of the speaker's addiction?
-The speaker's addiction progressed from taking Vicadin to seeking stronger pain medications like Oxycoton and Diloted, and eventually to using heroin when they could not find pills.
Why did the speaker initially resist using heroin?
-The speaker was reluctant to use heroin initially because they had a preconceived judgment about what a heroin addict looks and acts like, and they did not identify with that image.
How did the speaker's daily routine revolve around heroin?
-The speaker's daily routine involved traveling to Columbus every day to get heroin, either using it there or waiting until they got back home, and then selling and using the drug as needed.
What was the speaker's method of obtaining heroin?
-The speaker would call ahead to arrange a meeting with their dealer in Columbus, specifying how much money they had, and upon arrival, they would be directed to a specific exit and location to meet.
How did the speaker's family get involved in their addiction?
-The speaker would sometimes bring their young daughter with them to the city to get heroin, believing it was safer than leaving her with a stranger.
What incidents occurred that should have prompted the speaker to quit but didn't?
-The speaker's son was bitten by a dog and taken to the hospital while the speaker was away getting heroin, and another time the son confronted the speaker about their addiction, but these incidents did not make the speaker quit.
What was the turning point for the speaker to decide to stop using heroin?
-The turning point was when the speaker's mother looked at them seriously and told them they had to stop, making the speaker realize the impact of their addiction on their family.
How has the speaker's family supported them through their recovery?
-The speaker's family has been supportive throughout their recovery, never turning their backs on them despite the challenges the speaker caused due to their addiction.
What is the speaker's message about the stigma surrounding heroin addiction?
-The speaker wants to convey that people struggling with heroin addiction should not be ashamed to seek help, as there is support available and the societal stigma can prevent people from getting the help they need.
What does the speaker hope to achieve by sharing their story?
-The speaker hopes that by sharing their story, they can help at least one person realize that they don't have to be ashamed of their addiction and seek the help they need.
Outlines
💉 Struggling with Opioid Addiction
The speaker shares their journey with addiction, starting with an introduction to painkillers like vicadin at the age of 20. They describe the progression from using prescription drugs to seeking out stronger substances like oxycodone and eventually heroin. The narrative details the daily struggle to obtain drugs, traveling to Columbus every day to secure heroin, and the impact on their family life. Despite facing dangerous situations and legal troubles, such as being pulled over with their daughter in the car, they continue down this path. The speaker highlights the physical and emotional pain of withdrawal and the desperate measures taken to avoid it.
🌟 Overcoming Addiction with Family Support
The speaker recounts the pivotal moment when their mother's serious plea for them to stop using drugs finally resonated. They reflect on the realization that their addiction was causing immense suffering not only to themselves but also to their family. The narrative emphasizes the importance of family support in their recovery process, as they felt loved and not judged by their family members. The speaker expresses gratitude for this support and shares their current state of recovery, free from shame about their past. They urge others to seek help without fear of stigma, as there is always someone willing to support them in their journey to recovery.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Addiction
💡Recovery
💡Vicodin
💡Oxycontin
💡Heroin
💡Tolerance
💡Withdrawal
💡Stigma
💡Support
💡Family
💡Sobriety
Highlights
Speaker begins their story of addiction and recovery.
Introduced to vicadin at the age of 20, leading to opiate addiction.
Daily struggle to find pills and the need for stronger medications like oxycoton and diloted.
Transition to heroin due to unavailability of pain pills and physical addiction.
The reluctance to use heroin due to societal judgment.
Description of the painful withdrawal symptoms.
Daily routine of traveling to Columbus for heroin.
The process of contacting dealers and arranging meetups for drug purchases.
The impact of addiction on family life, including bringing a child along on drug runs.
An incident where the speaker's son was bitten by a dog, highlighting the neglect caused by addiction.
The speaker's son's anger and attempt to make the speaker quit.
The pivotal moment when the speaker's mother urged them to stop using drugs.
The realization of the disruption caused by addiction to the speaker's family.
The decision to stop using drugs and the beginning of recovery.
Family support during recovery and the importance of not being ashamed.
The societal stigma around heroin addiction and its impact on seeking help.
The speaker's message of hope and the importance of support in recovery.
The speaker concludes by emphasizing the value of sharing their story to help others.
Transcripts
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
hi so my story is probably pretty
similar to any of the stories that you
could read in the newspapers lately the
only difference is that I have been
fortunate enough to go through the
addiction and come out into
recovery thank
you thank you um when I was about 20
years old somebody offered me a vicadin
and I did it and I liked it and that
started my opiate um Obsession and
addiction right there over the next next
couple of years um it was every day
trying to find a pill anywhere that I
could and as my tolerance grew um so
then did my need for the stronger kinds
of pain medications like oxycoton and
diloted um until and that went on for a
while until one day there there was none
I couldn't find a pill anywhere and
someone told me they could get me heroin
and I was reluctant at first of course
because at that time when I thought
about a heroin addict I had a certain um
judgment in my head about what a heroin
addict looks like what they act like and
that wasn't me so I didn't really want
to do it but I knew um I was physically
addicted to the pain pills so I was
going to be getting sick if I didn't get
something and the withdraw symptoms are
really they're really awful um I've gone
through it a lot of times throughout my
over a decade of addiction and there
were days where I just would rather have
died than feel the pain that that is and
that
sickness um so I did the heroin that
time
and the next time it was offered to me
it was a a little bit easier until then
that was my drug of choice my obsession
every day was getting heroin um so early
on I live a little over an hour from
Columbus um and when I first got
addicted to the heroin I would travel to
Columbus every day because it wasn't
everywhere like it is now um now it's in
my small
town but but back then it wasn't and so
I would come to Columbus every day get
up in the morning um either get my kids
ready for school um my daughter wasn't
old enough to go to school so I would
take her with me or if it was summertime
my son would go to the skate park um and
we would come to Columbus me and um the
significant other that I was with at
that time and it was an everyday um an
everyday thing and
we would we'd have to call ahead of time
and let the person that we were meeting
here in Columbus know um how much money
we had and we'd be there in about an
hour and when we got close then we give
them a call and they would tell us which
exit to um get off of and where to meet
them in the neighborhood here in
Columbus
and we would either um use here or wait
until we got back home and get high
there um sell what we needed to sell
keep what we needed to keep and do it
all again the next day or sometimes
later that same
day um and it was it was
craziness really looking back on it now
it's like wow the things that I did um
to get that
drug my daughter like I said was about
to at the time when I was doing that and
I brought her with in my mind it was
safer for her to be with me than to
leave her with some random person that
was waiting for us to get back with the
drugs um we did get pulled over with her
in the car with us one time um that
wasn't enough to make me quit that
didn't scare me enough to make me quit
um my son was about 13 I think and he
would go to the skate park when I made
these trips and I was about 45 minutes
away my mom calls and says he's at the
hospital he'd been bitten by a dog a
complete stranger drove my son to the
hospital because I was an hour away in
another town scoring heroin that wasn't
enough to make me
quit
um my son got so angry with me one time
that he went in to my
bedroom and found the purse that I cut
my needles and my spoon in and brought
it out and gave it to my mom just you
know like make her stop that wasn't
enough to make me quit just went on for
a really long time and just
recently um my mom wasn't able to be
here with me
today but about 7 months ago she just
looked at me and the the way she looked
at me she wasn't mad um she wasn't
really even sad she just said you've got
to
stop and she was just so serious about
it and I could tell by the look on her
face that I knew I was disrupting my
life I could feel it I could feel the
pain that I felt every day living an
addiction
um but I really that day realized I was
disrupting probably every single person
I came in contact with but really the
rest of my family I was putting them
through
hell and so I decided to stop um and
that's how I'm able to be standing here
today so strong in my recovery um my
family has been so supportive through
this they they never turned their backs
on me I'm sure there were times where
they were pretty mad at me for some of
the stuff that I've done but they never
shut me
out um and I'm so lucky I feel so lucky
and so grateful to have that to have
that support um I can stand here today
and not feel shame I'm not ashamed that
I was a heroin
addict um and my family was never
ashamed to me and I really think that
prevents a lot of people from getting
the help that they need because of the
stigma that our society has on heroin
addicts and so that's really what my
point of coming here and talking today
and sharing my story with everybody if
it helps one person realize that they
don't have to be ashamed go and get that
help there's someone there that's going
to have your back um if that's the one
thing that happens today then all this
nervousness was worth it so thank
[Applause]
you
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