Andrew Tate #1 - (Narcissism) - Therapist Reacts

Summary

Therapist Dr. Kirk Honda reacts to Andrew Tate's views on money, relationships, and gender roles. Tate asserts money's insignificance and the ownership of wealth by external entities. He humorously discusses his dating life and love for reality. Tate's traditional stance on gender roles, suggesting women should obey men, is criticized by Dr. Honda, who highlights the absurdity of such oppressive beliefs. The conversation delves into Tate's narcissistic tendencies, his need for control, and potential insecurities, offering insights into his controversial persona.

Takeaways

• 🎙️ The speaker, Dr. Kirk Honda, a therapist and professor, reacts to Andrew Tate's views on money, relationships, and gender roles.
• 💵 Andrew Tate suggests that money becomes less meaningful as one accumulates more of it, and at a certain point, individuals may not even know or control what they have.
• 💬 Tate's communication style is described as charismatic, assertive, and enigmatic, which might appeal to some but is also confusing to Dr. Honda.
• 🚶‍♂️ Tate expresses a shift in his perception of dating dynamics, from men selling themselves to women to women trying to sell themselves to accomplished men.
• 🤔 Dr. Honda finds Tate's statements about relationships and gender roles problematic, highlighting the importance of equality and mutual respect in relationships.
• 🏡 Tate emphasizes the beauty of traditional family structures but controversially asserts that women should obey men, which Dr. Honda criticizes as regressive and oppressive.
• 🧐 Dr. Honda speculates that Tate's behavior might stem from insecurity, past trauma, or a desire for control, possibly influenced by witnessing abusive dynamics in his family of origin.
• 💬 The conversation reveals a power struggle between Tate and his date, with Tate frequently employing tactics to undermine or correct his date's statements.
• 🤝 Despite the tension, the date attempts to maintain a cordial atmosphere, with his date trying to find common ground and understanding.
• 🔄 The script showcases a cycle of interaction where Tate asserts dominance or superiority, while Dr. Honda provides psychological insights into such behavior.

Q & A

What is Dr. Kirk Honda's profession?

Dr. Kirk Honda is a therapist and professor.

What does Andrew Tate claim about money?

Andrew Tate claims that money isn't real and once you reach a certain level of wealth, you don't even know what you have, and outside entities may own what you have.

How does Dr. Kirk describe Andrew Tate's communication style?

Dr. Kirk describes Andrew Tate's communication style as charismatic, assertive, and poetic, often speaking in riddles.

What does Andrew Tate say about love and relationships?

Andrew Tate believes that love and relationships are beautiful as long as they are done correctly and a woman obeys like she's supposed to.

What does Dr. Kirk think about Andrew Tate's views on gender roles?

Dr. Kirk finds Andrew Tate's views on gender roles to be oppressive, illogical, and unscientific, suggesting that they are remnants of traditional and sexist ideologies.

What does Dr. Kirk suggest about Andrew Tate's personality?

Dr. Kirk suggests that Andrew Tate might suffer from narcissistic personality traits or is adopting a persona for media attention.

What does Andrew Tate say about his own confidence?

Andrew Tate claims that his confidence comes from adversity, stating that everything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

What does Dr. Kirk think about the way Andrew Tate discusses his job on the date?

Dr. Kirk finds it strange and potentially a sign of insecurity that Andrew Tate is reluctant to discuss his job and accuses the date of possibly working for the government.

What does Andrew Tate imply about the woman he is dating when he asks if her family is 'crazy'?

Andrew Tate implies that the woman might be 'crazy' due to her Caribbean heritage, which Dr. Kirk interprets as a derogatory and unfounded assumption.

What does Dr. Kirk think about Andrew Tate's comments on faith and religion?

Dr. Kirk views Andrew Tate's comments on faith and religion as an attempt to put the woman on the defensive and questions his right to label others as 'lazy' for their personal spiritual practices.

What does Andrew Tate mean when he says he is a 'man of god'?

Andrew Tate claims to be a 'man of god' but also exhibits controlling and traditional views on gender roles, which Dr. Kirk finds contradictory to the teachings of most religions.

Outlines

00:00

💸 Money and Material Possessions

Dr. Kirk Honda, a therapist and professor, reacts to Andrew Tate's views on money and possessions. Tate suggests that money is not real and that once a person has a lot of it, they don't know what they have and don't truly own it. Instead, outside entities may own it. Tate appears charismatic and assertive, but Dr. Honda finds his statements confusing, speculating that Tate might be saying he doesn't have a lot of money but has connections or know-how to get what he wants. Dr. Honda also touches on Tate's views on love and relationships, noting that Tate seems to enjoy speaking in poetic riddles, which might appeal to some but is off-putting to others.

05:00

🚹🚺 Gender Roles and Relationships

Dr. Honda criticizes Andrew Tate's traditional views on gender roles and relationships. Tate believes in a 'natural order' where women should obey men and criticizes non-traditional relationships. Dr. Honda refutes these ideas as oppressive and unscientific, emphasizing the freedom of individuals to choose their relationships and lifestyles. He suggests that Tate's views might appeal to those with a traditional mindset but are rooted in outdated and harmful beliefs about women's subservience.

10:02

🧐 Narcissism and Coping Mechanisms

Dr. Honda explores the possible psychological reasons behind Andrew Tate's behavior and statements. He suggests that Tate's narcissistic tendencies could stem from emotional neglect in childhood, leading to a coping mechanism of self-validation and a belief in his own superiority. This behavior is characterized by a constant need to assert dominance and control, possibly as a reaction to feelings of insecurity and a lack of emotional support. Dr. Honda explains how this dynamic can lead to significant distress for the individual, who may struggle with maintaining a positive self-image without external validation.

15:02

🌍 Establishing Superiority and Identity

In this section, Dr. Honda discusses Andrew Tate's need to establish himself as superior or special, as evidenced by Tate's introduction of himself as coming from a prestigious area and his mixed heritage. He notes that Tate's conversation style might be an attempt to assert power or control in the interaction, possibly as a result of insecurities or a desire to manage how others perceive him. Dr. Honda also considers the possibility that Tate's behavior could be a learned technique from the 'pickup artist' community, which often involves negging or putting the other person down to establish dominance.

20:03

🙊 Lies, Truth, and Insecurity

Dr. Honda observes Andrew Tate's reluctance to open up or share personal information, suggesting a possible insecurity or a desire for control over the narrative. Tate's insistence on lying about his profession and his suspicion of the interviewer hint at deeper issues with trust and vulnerability. Dr. Honda speculates that this behavior could be a defense mechanism or a reflection of Tate's need to maintain an image of power and control, even in a context as seemingly casual as a first date.

25:05

🏆 Defining Success and Spirituality

In this part, Dr. Honda reflects on Andrew Tate's tendency to define and judge others, particularly in terms of their spiritual practices and commitment. Tate criticizes the interviewer for being a 'lazy Christian,' despite her expression of faith. Dr. Honda questions the motivation behind Tate's need to categorize and judge, suggesting it might stem from a desire to assert his own beliefs and values as superior. He also points out the irony in Tate's self-identification as a kickboxer despite not training, highlighting a potential double standard in how he views himself versus others.

Keywords

💡Money

Money, in the video, is discussed as not being 'real' in the sense that once a person reaches a certain level of wealth, the actual amount becomes less significant. Andrew Tate suggests that at this level, one's wealth is more about potential and influence rather than a tangible figure. It's used to illustrate the idea that beyond a certain point, money becomes more about what it can do for you rather than what you physically possess.

💡Charismatic

Charisma, in the context of the video, refers to Andrew Tate's assertive and confident manner of speaking. Dr. Kirk points out that Tate's charismatic approach might appeal to some people who perceive him as knowledgeable or insightful. Charisma here is used to describe a leadership quality that can influence others.

💡Riddles

Riddles in the script refer to the way Andrew Tate speaks in a cryptic or enigmatic manner. Dr. Kirk mentions that Tate's use of riddles might be a way to appear wise or to engage an audience, but it can also be frustrating for those who prefer straightforward communication.

💡Insecurity

Insecurity is highlighted as a potential reason behind Andrew Tate's behavior and statements. Dr. Kirk suggests that the need to assert dominance or make oneself appear superior could stem from deep-seated insecurities. This keyword is used to analyze Tate's motives and to discuss how personal issues can influence public personas.

💡Traditional Gender Roles

Traditional gender roles are mentioned when Andrew Tate states that women should 'obey'. Dr. Kirk counters this by discussing the absurdity of such roles and the importance of personal freedom in choosing one's lifestyle. This keyword is central to the critique of Tate's views on relationships and societal norms.

💡Narcissism

Narcissism is used to describe a personality trait where individuals have an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for admiration. Dr. Kirk analyzes Andrew Tate's behavior through the lens of narcissism to explain his need for control and his distorted views on relationships.

💡Pickup Artist

The term 'pickup artist' is alluded to when discussing manipulative tactics used in dating. Dr. Kirk suggests that Tate might be employing such tactics, which are designed to attract potential partners through deception and psychological manipulation.

💡Power Dynamics

Power dynamics refer to the way power is distributed and exercised between individuals. In the video, Dr. Kirk discusses how Andrew Tate's statements about women obeying men reflect an unhealthy power dynamic that seeks to control and suppress.

💡Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is discussed in the context of how individuals perceive their own worth. Dr. Kirk explores the idea that a lack of self-esteem might lead someone to adopt a narcissistic persona to compensate for feelings of inadequacy.

💡Emotional Neglect

Emotional neglect is mentioned as a potential cause for the development of certain personality disorders. Dr. Kirk explains that a lack of emotional support during childhood can lead to the adoption of coping mechanisms such as narcissism to protect oneself from emotional pain.

💡Manipulation

Manipulation is discussed in terms of how Andrew Tate might be using language and behavior to control the narrative and the perceptions of others. Dr. Kirk points out instances where Tate's statements seem designed to put others in a position of having to defend themselves or conform to his expectations.

Highlights

Andrew Tate's perspective on money being unreal and the concept of ownership questioned.

Dr. Kirk Honda's introduction as a therapist and professor reacting to Andrew Tate's views.

Andrew Tate's charismatic and assertive communication style discussed.

The idea that with enough money, one doesn't know or own what they have.

Dr. Kirk's interpretation of Tate's statement about money and possessions.

Andrew Tate's claim of being in love with reality and his defiance towards haters.

Tate's poetic and riddle-like speech style, which may appeal to some or be off-putting to others.

Dr. Kirk's observation that Tate's media persona is self-confident and potentially wise, yet enigmatic.

Andrew Tate's controversial statements about gender roles and traditional relationships.

Dr. Kirk's critique of Tate's views on women obeying men and traditional gender roles.

Tate's assertion that society functions best with traditional gender roles.

Dr. Kirk's explanation of how traditional gender roles can be harmful and outdated.

Andrew Tate's analogy comparing relationships to selling oneself.

Dr. Kirk's analysis of Tate's need for control and power in relationships.

Tate's claim of being a 'street dog' with a mixed-up accent and background.

Dr. Kirk's commentary on Tate's defensive and evasive answers during the dating show.

Andrew Tate's joke about being a shoe salesman as a potential cover-up for his real profession.

Dr. Kirk's insight into Tate's use of 'negging' and power dynamics during the date.

Tate's questioning of the woman's faith and his definition of 'lazy Christianity'.

Dr. Kirk's critique of Tate's judgmental attitude towards others' religious practices.

Andrew Tate's demand for the woman to promise honesty and his subsequent lies.

Dr. Kirk's analysis of Tate's behavior as a possible coping mechanism for past neglect or abuse.

Tate's narcissistic tendencies and their impact on his interactions.

Dr. Kirk's closing thoughts on the importance of self-care and the impact of the conversation.

Transcripts

hey dessert listeners a lot of you have

been asking me to react to andrew tate

so let's get to it my name is dr kirk

honda i'm a therapist under professor

let's see what he says money isn't real

if you know what you have you don't have

much and once you reach a certain level

of money you don't even know what you

have and you certainly don't own what

you have

outside entities which you may have a

stake in own what you have people who

have a lot of money understand okay so

right off the bat

he

seems to be charismatic in his approach

and his look in his speech style he's

assertive

i don't even unders let's rewind this

what did he say money isn't real

if you know what you have you don't have

much

money isn't real

if you know what you have you don't have

much is he saying we should all go back

to a simple life or is it the opposite

what is he saying a level of money you

don't even know what you have and you

certainly don't own what you have

outside entities which you may have a

stake in own what you have people who

have a lot of money understand it's very

difficult for me to even say how much

money i have but i can have anything i

want anytime i want i really literally

have no idea what he's saying if i was

to take a guess he's saying that he

doesn't have a lot of money but he can

have anything he wants because he has

connections or know-how or something i

think that's what he's saying and i've

had some bad dates how do you think

you've done on the date i don't really

give a [ __ ] wait so this is this is the

video that people were saying have been

sending me for several weeks now and

it's a dating show i'm roger tate the

third

i'm here because uh i was invited is

that a good answer

yeah i was invited so i thought i'd come

along why not there's already love in

the universe i've already found love i

found love with reality my friend i'm

already in love i'm in love with waking

up every day you know there's people who

are trying to stop me breathing and

they've yet to succeed i'm already in

love love so i will observe that he is

one of those

media individuals

who or just a person i suppose you could

run into him at a party and still make

the same observation that he likes to

talk in a poetic riddle sort of way

it's

self-confident i will say it might

appeal to a certain group of people who

might say oh he seems to know things and

maybe he does maybe he's very wise i'll

reserve judgment i really i've seen a

little bit of

people have been talking about him in

the news like he's been canceled or

something he's no longer platformed

because of his problematic ideas i'm a

little curious but anyway but i will

observe that if i met him at a party i

wouldn't want to hang out with him very

long if he talked in riddles or i would

ask him like what are you trying to say

to me and if he would level with me

because i i don't know i like playing

speak just speak to me plainly so we can

have exchange of ideas instead of me

always wondering what you're saying

life's great i used to think that it was

the man

and i was actually accurate thinking

that it was the man who was selling

himself to the woman but once you reach

a certain

level of achievement as a man it's the

woman who's trying to sell herself to

you

okay so he's laughing so maybe he's just

making a joke but

why does anyone have to sell in any i

mean i suppose when you're going out on

a date you're presumably on average both

trying to sell yourself to someone plus

we don't want to be heteronormative but

to generalize to three and a half or

four billion people on the planet

every heterosexual relationship is this

way every man is this way every woman is

this way every dating relationship is

this way

is let's just say not borne out in the

data i've handled a bunch of of

difficult situations in my life i'm i'm

not intimidated let's leave it at that

we'll see how it goes i would say i'm

pretty confident yeah overall yeah i

think uh confidence is born from

adversity right everything that doesn't

kill you makes you stronger oh i see so

he was reacting to

going on a show where he is being

scrutinized he's being vetted by someone

who was looking for a dude to date and

so he's saying i used to think that

it was the man's job to sell himself to

a woman but now tables are turned

because i'm an awesome dude and so i'm

above it it just reminds me of kids in

the in middle school all of us really

like

yeah i you know i could take it or leave

it whatever and you just know that

they're pretty desperate for acceptance

and love can cheyenne ask you whatever

she likes anything she likes find the

most difficult question on the planet

tell her to throw a question card away

write a new one i'm ready

very good i better struggle which is

obviously impossible so she should at

least try to make me struggle i spent my

life fighting in the cage i'm not scared

of her i think relationships are a

beautiful thing i think that the synergy

between men and women are a beautiful

thing if they are correctly collaborated

i think that that's what makes society

function i think that's what makes the

world function i think that men men and

women falling in love and having

children and having families are very

very beautiful things as long as it's

done correctly as long as a woman obeys

like she's supposed to i was wondering

where that was headed because it sounded

along those lines but then he just flat

out says that women are supposed to obey

men he was using

phraseology from conservatives and

traditionalists and sexists who will say

that

the

nature the natural order of things is

when men and women have children you

shouldn't have gay relationships you

shouldn't have women who aren't

with a man who don't have children these

are absurd illogical unscientific

oppressive notions that are just

ridiculous on his face i mean if i'm

sure i don't have to explain why that's

ridiculous to any anyone everyone has

the freedom to choose what they want to

do and if someone wants to have kids

they can have kids if they want to have

a traditional relationship and they have

the freedom to make a choice otherwise

then they can make that people can have

whatever relationship they want the path

to happiness and goodness and you notice

that he says that a well-functioning

society is when

we

have that and i will say that according

to whom so if you're a man and you are

interested in power and you're insecure

which is why you're interested in power

and you want things to be predictable

and you come from a traditional mindset

then yeah you want things to be

conservatively traditional you want

things to be the way that they were in

the 50s when women had to obey or else

they would be all sorts of consequences

that i won't get into that i imagine you

can imagine women who were being abused

couldn't go to the police they couldn't

go to their family they couldn't go to

society sometimes they didn't even have

access to these things so there were all

sorts of uh

you know things in place to keep women

in place to keep women as subservient

and so as a man just being born a man

you were just given this power given

this privilege you could pretty much do

whatever you wanted to to women and get

away with it we're emerging out of that

of course and the only reason why you

would want that privilege is if you were

insecure or you're a psychopath or a

statist you want to harm other people

you want to control other people because

for myself i don't want that privilege

you could you could hand that to me and

say look you could press this button and

i will make your wife subservient to you

you could do whatever you want to to her

and everyone will support you i would

say i don't want that why don't i want

that well it's because i don't need it

and i don't have a desire to harm anyone

plus i want a partner who's equal who is

on my level and when she loves me it

feels like a choice instead of being

forced into it so that's what i would

want when i ask my wife you know what do

you want to have for dinner i don't want

her to go like well what do you want for

dinner i want her to think about what

she wants for dinner and we can please

each other and find a common ground and

that's what any rational human wants and

you would only want otherwise if you are

insecure attachment insecure traumatized

indoctrinated worried on some level so

then he just flat out says that he wants

women to obey let's ruin that function i

think that's what makes the world

function i think that men men and women

falling in love and having children and

having families are very very beautiful

things as long as it's done correctly as

long as a woman obeys like she's

supposed to and uh i think the world can

be a beautiful place as long as gender

roles are not misconstrued or

misunderstood so if sean doesn't

understand that i'll correct her quickly

and we'll fix the world and we can move

on and then tying it into traditional

gender roles which are fine if people

choose them

if people want them which many people do

but if you don't want them then you

don't do it

very nice to meet you

hello hi you're really nice thank you

let's do two kisses one

two nice to meet you very nice to meet

you andrew tate what's your name andrew

nice to meet you um cheyenne

or shawn reynolds if you're doing

something cheyenne reynolds we're gonna

do official yeah okay nice to meet you

cheers

[Music]

i think she's uh attractive woman she's

good looking

friendly demeanor um

i can tell she thinks she knows things

so i look forward to correcting her

my god

the amount of insecurity dripping off

this human being

now might he suffer from a personality

disorder that actually makes him believe

this right so there are two paths to

this distorted way of thinking one is is

that you actually believe it

consciously and the other one is that

you're consciously making a choice to

adjust for something that you feel like

you have to going back to middle school

you're in seventh grade and you feel

ugly and unacceptable and unpopular and

you know it and someone comes up to you

and says you your outfit looks stupid

and you actually believe your outfit

looks stupid and so

you resort by to saying something that

you know isn't true even to you and you

say well actually this is popular in

europe now it's trending in europe or

something you know you're lying you know

that you don't believe it but you're

just hoping that it will fly that people

will think you're actually cool so

that's one path another path is where

you

actually consciously believe that you're

better than other people and this is a

coping mechanism that is available to

humans when we're suffering from

generally speaking neglect emotional

neglect growing up where we're one year

two years old three years old and we

want attention we want attunement we

want people to love us and to accept us

and to be there for us and when they're

not we only have a certain set of coping

styles a certain group of personality

traits that are available to us to

protect us from the terribleness of

being neglected and being alone because

it's very scary to be a child in and of

itself but it's particularly scary when

you have no one to run to that will

reassure us and hold us and hold our

hand or hug us

one of the available coping mechanisms

is what we call narcissistic personality

which is a choice that children will

make and most of this is subconscious of

of course but over time the child

decides you know what i'm going to pull

away from people i'm going to push away

from people and i'm going to depend on

the self because i obviously can't

depend on it on anyone else which is a

big bummer even though on the inside i

still desperately long for someone to

love me and accept me and hold me but

i'm gonna back away because every time i

reach out emotionally and behaviorally i

get rejected or most of the time i get

rejected so it's just better to turn

away so i'm going to kind of force

myself to do that and in order to do

that i have to suppress my emotions i

have to not even really notice them and

over time when you don't pay attention

to your body which is where your

emotions are coming from it's actually

hard to even notice your emotions you at

the age of 35 after developing this way

neurologically when you're young you

might be asked what are you feeling and

the person will say nothing i don't feel

anything even though on the inside they

actually are feeling a lot of emotions

but they just neurologically aren't used

to paying attention to it so anyway so

they turn away but they still need some

source of self-esteem and no one is

praising them no one is paying attention

to them no no one was is validating

their existence so they turn to the self

they validate themself they say i'm

awesome i'm the best well two-year-olds

three-year-olds four-year-olds they

don't have a very gray nuanced point of

view of the world in themselves they

have a very black and white view so they

resort to a exaggerates you and you know

it's okay to have self-esteem to be like

you know i'm an okay person well when

you're three you don't have that nuance

you say i'm the best and you'll see kids

do this all the time you know i'm the

best drawer or i'm the best runner

because they're black and white thinkers

and they're they're trying on an

identity they're trying on self-esteem

but when you need

to resort to this source of self-esteem

and you're the only person that is

validating you then you adopt this black

and white thinking you retain it into

adulthood where you are the best you

consciously believe you are the best you

are amazing you're better than everyone

and if you're not better than everyone

because you're a black and white thinker

you are worse than everyone you're

either superior or inferior there's a

constant battle and vacillation between

these two states for the narcissistic

individual in order to remain in the

superior spot they have to convince

themselves and convince everyone around

them that they are superior because as

long as they're establishing themselves

as superior and they believe other

people see them as superior then they

can kind of relax they're very

distressed individuals though because

even when they are in that superior spot

even if they sustain that for a while

there's this underlying notion that no

one loves them and no one cares about

them and there's the added perhaps more

important stress of their needs are

never being addressed their needs for

affection their needs for love their

needs for emotional crying emotional

dependency and they've never had those

needs met sufficiently throughout their

entire life since the day they were born

so they're just a massive ball of

distress and lack of getting their needs

back always running on the treadmill

trying to stay superior in other

people's eyes and in their own eyes

because it distracts them from from

everything else and it reassures them

and as soon as that narcissistic supply

dries up they immediately fall into the

the black and white snare they

immediately fall into the i'm all bad

and they fall apart and i've seen people

when they make that transition and it is

not pretty they

completely decompensate they don't know

who they are they're untethered from

reality they're not schizophrenic but

they're very distraught very much in

distress and so there's good reasons why

they are frequently establishing

themselves as superior it can be

annoying to be around those people but

to these individuals it's very

distressing now there is a spectrum from

people that are very narcissistic

and moderately or mild now i want to be

clear not diagnosing anyone of course

because when i do diagnose people with

an artistic personality disorder i

assess them for weeks if not months and

they voluntarily come to my office and

tell me what i believe to be truthful

responses to questions and have

conversations i experience them in their

relationship and through that assessment

i can confidently conceptualize

individuals with this disorder the other

thing i'll say is that some public

figures will adopt a narcissistic

persona because it sells that's usually

how life works

finally see a man that makes an effort

how are you i'm good thank you yeah okay

where are you from i'm american but i

lived in england for a long time i lived

in a very prestigious part of the uk i

don't know if you've ever heard of luton

very prestigious yeah yeah number one

luton okay

was not expecting that no idea what

luton is but

he is right out the gate establishing

himself being from a very prestigious

area so we will

note that in his opening introduction

trying to establish himself as special

in some way perhaps superior so i was in

luton for a while and now i live in

europe so i've just come in yeah okay

because your accent it's like really

different than that it's pretty mixed up

i'm like a street dog my dear i've been

here i've been there half american half

english half luton half everything else

a bit of a mix never mix that's cool how

did you get here today

i flew in i flew in this morning flew in

it's different it's like different yeah

yeah yeah jump on the jet

who flew in on a jet

who is this guy

what about you you have a mix no yeah my

family were caribbean and english so the

caribbean side's the crazy side or the

english or the english side's the crazy

side um i'd say the caribbean's the fun

side they're a bit surprised so you're

fun and crazy not crazy

it's the beginning of the day you can't

lie now it's a date so

people are going to have small talk in

their particular way

but

i'll note that right out of the gate

prior to the date he's talking about

women being

under control

and that they need to obey men

and

you could argue that he either

consciously or unconsciously knows that

by

negging her if you study the pickup

artist community like i have because i

had clients who would come to me and

then i've had a lot of people

right into the podcast from the pickup

artist community talking about their

experience and it's varied but not great

overall in terms of the indoctrination

in terms of certain ideas anyway point

the manusphere but anyway so for

him he is establishing like well which

side of your family is the crazy side

meaning that you must be crazy which is

another

notion i don't know if this is where

he's coming from

the echo chamber and the brainwashing

within that echo chamber that if you

have a beautiful woman then she must be

crazy that is a ridiculous notion on his

face which i don't have to deconstruct

but

i don't know if that's who's come from

or and or he's coming from a place of

putting her on her heels that she has to

she's now in a position where she has to

establish herself

as not crazy she is guilty before proven

innocent right she and it might be also

another technique that he uses and who

knows maybe again it's just him making

small talk but

he could also be using this as a as a

foundation to say if later on she is

bothersome to him he could say oh that's

your caribbean side coming out and then

again she's in a position of having to

defend herself i don't know let's just i

guess do i look like i'd lie to you

yes

i'm not lying actually you're not a liar

everything you tell me for the rest of

this episode is gonna be a complete

truth yeah promise me yeah say i promise

i promise i really promise

you'll see honest faults and opinions

all right we'll see yeah again

there's a unidirectional demand there

she says you know i'll tell you the

truth and he is very pointed about that

i'm guessing he's been down a road like

this before and knows he's going to get

into some conflict we see him looking

away a lot lack of eye contact she's

looking at his eyes he has

sunglasses on when he's inside maybe he

has an eye condition i don't know but

we'll see where that heads it's a again

it's a there's a there's a power issue

here she's not exhibiting any

power issue any power language he he is

it's

people who do that usually feel

powerless um so what do you do let me

think of a lie give me a second no you

can't learn

you have to tell the truth i don't just

tell the truth why this we already

agreed you're telling the truth there's

only one of us can tell the truth one of

us can lie that's not good stuff i'm a

shoe salesman i sell shoes socks shoe

accessories polish etc etc yeah i sell

shoes okay so i don't know if he's lying

right now or not but i will say that's a

very strange way to have a conversation

on a first date unless he thinks this is

funny i don't think she sees it if i

would just imagine this would be

confusing yeah um so what do you do let

me think of a lie give me a second no

you can't learn

the other possibility is that he's

insecure about his job and so he doesn't

want to talk about that i don't know you

have to tell the truth i don't just tell

the truth why this we already agreed

you're telling the truth there's only

one of us can tell the truth one of us

can lie that's not good i'm a shoe

salesman i sell shoes socks shoe

accessories polish etcetera etcetera

yeah i sell shoes yeah

i'm doing all right yeah surviving sold

two pairs of shoes yesterday life's good

okay that's good

he's a liar

so tell me a bit about you andrew i'm

not comfortable opening up too much i

really yeah because you know you might

work for

john law and the government no

i have to be careful what i say oh so

it's not commitment issues right off the

bat just regular he agreed to do this he

flew in from out of town to be on the

show to date this woman right off the

bat just regular questions

icebreakers if you will and he's saying

he's suspicious and he has to be careful

to talk about things which i don't know

what that means is he actually

suspicious of that question or

is he covering something up is he is

this a power play is it a weird idea of

a joke is he trying to have some banter

with her

i i don't know but

it's notable i'm curious where this is

going it's not that's not commitment

issues or just like legality issues oh

okay i like to go to church i'm a man of

god play scrabble do you have faith

okay this is good this is an interesting

conversation that we can have on on

camera which is which is as i'd say my

personal journey with god is between me

and god so i'm not one of those people

that like it's like yes i go to church

or yes i do this

don't you think that's a bit like lazy

christianity no not really because for

me i believe in again putting her on her

heels he accuses her of something

basically saying you're a lazy christian

which she didn't mention being christian

at all

but

she said she has faith and she doesn't

go to church i guess maybe the word

church would maybe tip off christianity

i don't know but it's a technique or a

tendency or something he could have

learned that maybe this is just his way

i don't know but we will note if i were

her i would say okay so you've accused

me

uh you've you've lied to me or at least

you've implicated you've implied you've

lied you've now called me a lazy

christian knowing nothing about me

i've told you one sentence about my

spirituality are you okay

does this

do you want to talk about do you not

like me is there something you want to

talk with me about

love and i believe in faith and i don't

think it's just one

religion that you need to follow you

know i've got friends that are muslim i

agree i've got friends that are

christian you know i've got friends that

are spiritual so i don't

put myself in one category i understand

and i respect that completely but don't

you think out of respect for god himself

whether you're in dubai and you go to

the mosque or you're in england you go

to the church you should get up early on

a sunday despite all the booze and get

up and take an hour out of your life and

just show some respect so i'm guessing

this either has to do with him

projecting himself on god and because

he's saying don't you think you should

be respecting god since he said earlier

he's a traditionalist which has to do

probably with wanting to have power over

women because he's insecure and he's had

a bad track record with relationships i

don't know

or well another path to this actually

and i've seen this before i've treated

people many people like him honestly i

mean not exactly of course but similar

similar seeming anyway and one of the

paths to this is actually witnessing a

lot of strife in one's parents there's a

lot of different pathways but one one

pathway is that you have a

father who is abusive to the mother and

the father is also abusive to you as a

child and

you have a lot of mixed feelings about

what's happening on one hand you hate

your dad for abusing you of course but

over time you start to hate your mom for

not standing up for you in fact you

might be closer to your mom emotionally

because

she's more approachable and so you feel

like your dad is the enemy and he's he's

distant but you really long for

closeness with your mom and you feel

more able to be angry at her because she

won't abuse you you can't be angry at

your dad because he's going to overpower

you you can be angry at your mom so you

might consciously be angry at your mom

but unconsciously actually really want

to be angry you're dead so you displace

it to your mom and you start to hate

your mom even though she doesn't deserve

it and you're also adopting the

attitudes of the abuser you're actually

taking on the mindset of the abuser

because it's a pathway to power and to

acceptance so you end up maybe even

abusing your mom emotionally and maybe

physically and then over time you grow

up and you just have this intense need

to establish power over women because as

a child you had this fantasy that if you

could overpower your mom you could tell

her to stand up for you or leave your

dad and thus you would be safe because

so really you're just running away from

the abuse but your conscious thought is

i want to control women you see so

there's a there's a pathway to that and

it can be really quite desperate for the

adult individual it's not felt they

don't know that's where it's coming from

but they just have a felt sense of

anxiety when they're not in control or

when they see situations where there

isn't that control over women because

they're transferring their past on to

what's happening now no because

everyone's journey is with god is

personal you can be a lazy spiritualist

a lazy christian you can be a lazy

kickboxer right i'm a kickboxer i don't

train okay bro

again

why would you want to define other

people's lives

and what gives you the right so someone

that considers himself a christian or

whatever and doesn't go to church

you andrew tate define that person as

lazy that implies that they want to go

to church but they lack the energy or

the commitment or something maybe it's

something different or even getting to

kickboxing

is he a ki he's mentioned being in the

ring is he is he a kickboxer you could

define yourself as a kickboxer and not

work out very often you're just you're

just like yeah you know what i like to

do it occasionally it's more of a side

hobby than anything else and that's what

i like it and to be in in my life and

according to him you're not a real

kickboxer you're a lazy kickboxer and

what's it to you and that's really what

you have to just ask yourself like if

you experience someone like this like

what is it to you why is it so important

to you what is

personally at stake for you that someone

else doesn't go to the gym all the time

or that someone doesn't go to church

what is it to you there must be

something in this for you that is making

you upset that is causing you to have

illogical statements like this i

understand you're lazy it's okay i'm not

lazy do you have time for god absolutely

that's good do you get up early on a

sunday completely that's good every

single sunday of course that's amazing

and i think that being religious is a

beautiful thing and i think that a lot

of people try and say they're spiritual

or they're religious in a way copping

out on the one hour a week it just feels

a bit lazy to me i think you can always

find an hour yeah no you definitely

could so maybe god sent me here to make

you go to church maybe maybe you're here

to enlighten me maybe so she's trying to

make the best of it which i'll applaud

her

i mean he's called her all sorts of

names he's called her crazy essentially

and lazy

and not a real christian

the posturing and the sunglasses and

she's trying to play along she's trying

to be nice so there's that but

yikes that's why yeah yeah and what kind

of man are you what's the spectrum i

need you to quantify it for me who's at

the bottom and who's at the top

why is there a bottom at the top

she said what kind of man are you yeah

if someone asked me that on a date i'd

be like can you give me a little bit

more detail on that question top and

bottom of course there's there's a

hierarchy to men he's at the top i'm

going to take a wild guess all right

well let's end it there and pick up next

time where we left off because i've been

yammering and yammering so

this video is getting a lot so tune in

next time when i continue watching this

video and everyone out there please take

care of yourself because you deserve it

you really really do