Feeling Invisible? It's Not Them, It’s You | Macy Baxi | TEDxCherryCreekHS

Summary

The speaker reflects on losing the uninhibited confidence of childhood and shares their journey to regain visibility and confidence in communication. They outline a transformative process that begins with introspection—asking where they are, where they want to be, and how to get there. Through consistent practice, engaging conversations, and active listening, they develop stronger communication skills. The speaker recommends having 100 meaningful conversations in 100 days, using space repetition and reflection to build rapport and become an influential communicator. This process emphasizes self-awareness, repetition, and personal growth to inspire others.

Takeaways

• 🎉 The speaker reminisces about a carefree 13th birthday party, where they felt unashamed by others' opinions.
• 😔 Growing up led to a loss of that carefree nature, replaced by anxiety and fear of judgment in social situations.
• 🧐 The speaker began to notice their own invisibility, feeling ignored and anxious in social settings.
• ❓ They realized that visibility might not depend on how others see us, but on how we see ourselves.
• 🧠 The speaker started by asking three key questions: Where am I? Where do I want to be? How do I get there?
• 💬 They wanted to become a master communicator, capable of engaging in meaningful conversations and influencing others.
• 🚀 The process of change involved learning to assert themselves, actively listen, and bring value to conversations.
• 🎙️ Recording conversations for a podcast helped the speaker improve their communication skills through repetition.
• 🔄 Space repetition is emphasized as a tool for retaining learned communication skills and avoiding memory loss.
• 📅 The speaker recommends having 100 intentional conversations over 100 days to practice and improve communication skills, leading to stronger relationships and personal growth.

Q & A

What is the speaker's initial reflection about their 13th birthday party?

The speaker reflects on the freedom they felt as a child, dancing and singing without worrying about the opinions of others, contrasting this with the self-consciousness they experience as an adult.

What does the speaker identify as the biggest change in themselves as they grew up?

The speaker identifies the loss of their ability to remain unaffected by others' opinions as the biggest change since growing up.

How does the speaker describe their anxiety in social situations as an adult?

The speaker describes feeling anxious, with warmth rushing to their cheeks and numbness in their fingers, while standing in a corner hoping someone will introduce themselves.

What realization does the speaker come to regarding visibility and social anxiety?

The speaker realizes that visibility might be more about how they see themselves rather than how others perceive them, sparking introspection about their social behavior.

What are the three pivotal questions the speaker asks themselves for self-reflection?

The three pivotal questions are: 1) Where am I? 2) Where do I want to be? 3) How do I get there?

What goal does the speaker set for themselves in terms of communication?

The speaker sets the goal of becoming a 'master communicator,' someone who can confidently engage in conversations at networking events, influence others, and inspire through communication.

What strategy does the speaker employ to improve their communication skills?

The speaker begins by asserting their presence in conversations, engaging more deeply, practicing active listening, and bringing value to each interaction. They also start recording conversations for a podcast to improve their skills through repetition.

How does the speaker use the 'Ebbinghaus forgetting curve' in their communication practice?

The speaker refers to the 'Ebbinghaus forgetting curve,' which shows how quickly new information is forgotten, to emphasize the importance of spaced repetition. They use this principle to retain conversational skills by having consistent conversations.

What actionable advice does the speaker give for improving communication?

The speaker advises setting clear goals for each conversation, creating a consistent schedule of conversations over 100 days, engaging with a variety of people, preparing topics in advance, and practicing active listening.

What is the ultimate outcome the speaker envisions from intentional conversations?

The speaker believes that by mastering conversations through intentional practice, individuals can improve their relationships and even change the world.