3 rules for better work-life balance | The Way We Work, a TED series

Summary

The video highlights the negative impact of constant work interruptions on personal life and well-being. It explains how small distractions, like checking emails during personal time, can lead to stress, reduced happiness, and lower productivity. The speaker shares research findings on how work-related phone use reduces meaningful experiences and suggests practical strategies for reclaiming personal time, such as treating weekends like vacations, setting boundaries, and negotiating for more time on work deadlines. These steps aim to help individuals balance work and life, fostering a healthier, more fulfilling lifestyle.

Takeaways

• 📱 Small interruptions like checking phones during personal time add up and negatively impact happiness and productivity.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Research shows that parents who used phones during family activities reported feeling lonelier and found the experiences less meaningful.
• 🏞️ Being constantly connected to work reduces the quality of personal memories and experiences, as seen in studies on tourists and employees.
• 💼 Workplace interruptions contribute to employee burnout, stress, and even depression, costing organizations lost productivity.
• 😓 Many people, including the speaker, sacrifice important personal moments for work, which leads to feelings of guilt and dissatisfaction.
• 🔄 There’s a need to reframe rest as valuable, not an obstacle to productivity, to improve well-being.
• 🗓️ Treating weekends like a vacation and setting small, achievable leisure goals can help people enjoy their time off more fully.
• 🚧 Setting clear boundaries for personal time, such as not checking work emails after hours, is essential for protecting well-being.
• 🤝 Teams should set collective goals for personal time and hold each other accountable to prevent work from intruding on life.
• ⏳ Negotiating for more time on work deadlines can reduce stress, and employees who do this are often seen as more professional.

Q & A

What is the main issue the speaker addresses regarding work and personal life balance?

The speaker addresses the issue of constant work interruptions spilling into personal life, causing stress and reducing the quality of personal experiences.

How do small interruptions, like checking emails or texting during personal time, impact us?

These small interruptions add up over time, leading to a loss of meaningful experiences, increased loneliness, and reduced overall happiness.

What was the outcome of the study involving parents visiting a science museum?

Parents who checked their phones more frequently during the visit found the experience less meaningful and felt lonelier compared to those who minimized phone use.

How do constant work interruptions affect organizations?

Organizations suffer productivity losses, with 32 days lost annually due to employee depression, often caused by the stress of an always-on work culture.

What personal experience does the speaker share about prioritizing work over personal life?

The speaker recounts texting a client during their first child’s ultrasound, resulting in a feeling of guilt despite pleasing the client.

What small steps can individuals take to protect their time off from work interruptions?

Individuals can reframe rest by treating weekends like vacations, setting clear boundaries, and creating team goals for personal time, such as not checking emails after certain hours.

How can people negotiate for more time at work to prevent work from creeping into their personal life?

People can ask for extensions on adjustable deadlines, like requesting more time for deliverables, to avoid working during weekends or personal time.

What is the speaker’s advice for reframing rest in a productive way?

The speaker suggests that we should view rest as a valuable opportunity to enjoy the present moment and savor leisure time, rather than seeing it as an unproductive barrier to work.

What are some team-based strategies to support personal time boundaries?

Teams can set and publicly share personal time goals, like not checking emails during specific hours, and hold each other accountable for achieving these goals.

What impact do these small changes in managing time have on employees' well-being and workplace perception?

Employees who ask for more time experience lower stress and burnout, and are perceived as more committed and professional by their colleagues.

Outlines

00:00

📱 The Hidden Cost of Constant Work Interruptions

Leslie Gauthier discusses how small interruptions, like answering work calls or emails during personal time, seem harmless but have significant consequences. These constant work distractions, even on days off, contribute to stress and reduce overall happiness. Gauthier points out that this growing intrusion of work into personal life is a widespread issue, with research suggesting it affects our sense of fulfillment and connection.

05:02

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The Impact on Family Time and Personal Experiences

Gauthier shares research highlighting the effects of work-related phone usage during personal experiences. In one study, parents who checked their phones frequently during a visit to a science museum with their children found the experience less meaningful and reported feeling lonelier. Similarly, tourists using their phones during visits to iconic sites remembered fewer details. Gauthier's own research found that employees prioritizing work interruptions over personal interactions diminished their time spent with loved ones, leading to a greater sense of disconnection.

⚖️ The Organizational and Personal Costs of an 'Always-On' Culture

The video highlights how constant work distractions have tangible consequences for both individuals and organizations. Businesses suffer from lost productivity, with 32 days per year lost due to employee depression, which is often linked to stress and burnout from an 'always-on' work culture. Gauthier shares a personal anecdote about texting a client during her first ultrasound, exemplifying how urgent work matters often overshadow important life moments, leaving people feeling guilty and disconnected.

🧠 Reclaiming Rest and the Value of Disconnecting

Gauthier emphasizes the need to redefine rest, which is often seen as an unproductive activity. She encourages people to view downtime as valuable and necessary for savoring the present moment rather than worrying about work. By treating weekends like vacations and creating simple but enjoyable plans, individuals can experience meaningful leisure without extravagant costs. Gauthier advocates for embracing rest to recharge and maintain a healthier work-life balance.

📅 Setting Boundaries for Personal Time

A key strategy Gauthier suggests is creating clear boundaries between work and personal time. Rather than being always available, individuals should communicate that they will be offline except for urgent matters. Setting personal goals like avoiding email during family dinners or taking breaks for exercise can help uphold these boundaries. Team accountability and goal-setting can support these efforts, helping to ensure everyone respects each other's personal time.

🤝 Negotiating for More Time and Protecting Weekends

In this section, Gauthier advises negotiating for more time on work deadlines to prevent work from infringing on weekends. Asking for reasonable extensions on deadlines not only reduces stress but also improves the quality of work delivered. Contrary to fears of appearing unprofessional, employees who ask for more time are often seen as more committed and productive. By prioritizing time management, individuals can better balance their work and personal lives.

💪 Small Steps to Reclaim and Respect Time

Gauthier wraps up by encouraging individuals to make small but impactful changes to reclaim their time. Simple actions like reframing rest, setting boundaries, and negotiating for more time can profoundly improve quality of life. Once these habits are established, individuals will feel empowered to demand that others respect their personal time, inspiring them to do the same and mend the fractured moments of their lives.

Keywords

💡Interruptions

Interruptions refer to the small, frequent disruptions that people experience during their daily activities, especially in relation to work seeping into personal time. The video emphasizes how these interruptions, like checking emails or responding to messages during leisure activities, can collectively undermine meaningful moments, leading to increased stress and reduced happiness.

💡Always-on culture

The 'always-on culture' describes the modern expectation that people are constantly available for work, even during personal time. This culture leads to a blending of work and leisure, contributing to burnout and stress, as mentioned in the video when discussing the tendency to prioritize work distractions over important life moments.

💡Rest

Rest is portrayed not just as physical downtime but as a crucial mental break from work. The video highlights how people often view rest as unproductive, leading to guilt. It urges viewers to reframe their perception of rest as essential for well-being, encouraging intentional relaxation that restores balance between work and life.

💡Boundaries

Boundaries refer to the clear separations individuals can set between their work and personal lives to protect their time. The video suggests strategies like explicitly stating when one is offline and unavailable for non-urgent work, advocating for a collective team effort to respect personal boundaries and reduce work-related stress.

💡Meaningful experiences

Meaningful experiences are defined as personal moments that enrich life, such as spending time with family or engaging in leisure activities. The video warns that constant phone use during these moments, as shown in studies about parents at a museum or tourists at a church, can diminish their significance and reduce memory retention.

💡Burnout

Burnout is a state of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged stress, particularly from work. The video connects burnout to the constant interruptions and the always-on culture, citing it as a significant factor in decreased productivity and employee well-being, with companies losing many productive days due to related issues.

💡Negotiating for time

Negotiating for time refers to the act of asking for extensions or adjustments to work deadlines to prevent tasks from encroaching on personal time. The video suggests that employees who negotiate for more time are seen as more professional and experience less burnout, showing the importance of advocating for balanced time management.

💡Team accountability

Team accountability involves creating collective goals and publicly sharing progress to support personal boundaries and time management. The video recommends teams set specific goals, such as avoiding emails during certain hours, and hold each other accountable to improve both personal well-being and overall productivity.

💡Productivity loss

Productivity loss refers to the reduction in work output caused by factors like stress, burnout, and mental health issues. The video highlights how companies lose an estimated 32 days of productivity annually due to depression linked to the pressures of constant work demands, underlining the economic cost of poor work-life balance.

💡Reclaiming time

Reclaiming time is the process of taking control over one's schedule by setting boundaries and prioritizing personal moments over work distractions. The video emphasizes the importance of small changes, like treating weekends like vacations or negotiating deadlines, to reclaim lost time and enhance overall happiness and life satisfaction.

Highlights

Small interruptions in daily life can significantly impact our stress and happiness.

Checking phones during personal moments, like a visit to a museum, reduces the meaning and connection we feel in those moments.

Parents who checked their phones during a museum visit reported a less meaningful experience and increased loneliness.

Tourists who used their phones during a visit to an iconic church remembered fewer details a week later.

Employees who are constantly interrupted by work during personal time experience reduced quality interactions with friends and family.

Companies lose 32 days of productivity per year due to employee depression, often caused by the stress of an always-on work culture.

The speaker shared a personal experience of texting a client during an important life moment, which caused guilt and reduced enjoyment.

The cumulative impact of frequent interruptions results in a life less filled with joy, connection, and meaningful experiences.

Reframing rest is crucial for mental health. Time off should be viewed as an opportunity to savor the present, not as unproductive.

Treating weekends like vacations can help individuals recharge. Simple, intentional activities can make time off more fulfilling.

Setting clear boundaries for time off, such as not checking emails or Slack during certain hours, helps protect personal time.

Team collaboration on personal time goals can encourage accountability and promote a healthier work-life balance.

Negotiating for more time on deadlines, rather than sacrificing personal time, reduces stress and burnout.

Proactively asking for more time does not harm reputation. In fact, colleagues often view these employees as more professional.

By reclaiming rest through small, deliberate changes, individuals can regain control over their time and improve their quality of life.

Transcripts

Transcriber: Leslie Gauthier

For so many of us,

myself included,

our days feel filled with a million small interruptions.

And this is true even of our days off.

Maybe you've taken a call at the beach,

texted your boss from the grocery store

or emailed a colleague while on a picnic with your family.

We’ve convinced ourselves that these behaviors are no big deal.

It's just one email.

But there's a real cost to these interruptions,

and there are smart strategies we can all take

to better protect our time.

(Music)

[The Way We Work]

These moments seem so small at the time,

and yet research suggests they add up to a tremendous loss.

The constant creep of work into our personal lives

can increase our stress

and undermine our happiness.

So just what is the cost?

In one study,

researchers recruited parents who were visiting a science museum with their kids.

Some parents were told to check their phone as much as possible;

others were told to check their phone as little as possible.

After the visit,

parents who used their phones reported

that the experience was significantly less meaningful.

They also felt much lonelier.

In another study,

tourists who were asked to have their phones out

while visiting an iconic church

remembered fewer details a week later.

And in my research,

employees who were paid for their performance

spent increasingly less time interacting with friends and family,

and more and more time interacting with colleagues and clients.

These constant interruptions come at a cost to organizations, too.

Companies lose 32 days of productivity each year to employee depression,

which is often caused by the stress and burnout of our always-on culture.

Despite knowing better,

I, too, have found myself focusing on “urgent work distractions”

over important life moments.

Most recently, I found myself texting a client

while in the middle of my first child’s first ultrasound ...

happy client,

guilty mom-to-be.

When you add up all of these moments,

the sum total is a life shortchanged on meaning,

joy,

connection

and even memory.

As we remake our models of work in the wake of the pandemic,

now is our opportunity to create a new culture that respects time.

And the way to make this really big change

is through small steps that we can take right now.

The first step that we need to take is to reframe rest.

Reflect for a moment about what you think about when you hear the word “rest.”

Sounds amazing, right?

But in my mind,

I immediately worry about not being productive enough

or letting down my colleagues.

When we do have time off,

we need to find ways in which we can enjoy the present moment

and savor the leisure time that we have available,

as opposed to seeing it as an unproductive barrier to our work.

One specific strategy we can take

is to treat our upcoming weekend like a vacation.

On Friday afternoon,

jot down how you would act and behave as if you were on a holiday.

Maybe you and your partner will buy a bottle of wine

and watch online clips of the Eiffel Tower.

Maybe you’ll visit a local café

and listen to some live music.

Or maybe you'll go for a long walk in the middle of the day

with no phone and no agenda.

The plan doesn't have to be expensive or extravagant.

Another strategy you can take is to create clear boundaries

for your time off.

Instead of saying, "I'm out of the office.

Feel free to Slack me whenever,”

say, "I'll be offline.

Call me only if it's urgent."

To uphold these personal goals,

work together as a team.

Set team goals for personal time.

Do it publicly,

collect data

and hold each other accountable.

These goals could sound like,

“I will not check email between 6:00 and 8:00pm;”

“I will have dinner with my family four nights a week;”

or "I will go for a jog midday."

Check in on your team’s progress

and see how everyone's doing.

If you or your teammates are unsuccessful,

work together to help accomplish personal goals.

Lastly, you can negotiate for more time

to prevent work from creeping into your personal life.

In business school, I teach students to negotiate for salary

but realize I spoke almost nothing about negotiating for more time.

What does this look like in practice?

You can ask for more time on adjustable deadlines at work.

If your client asks for a deliverable Monday morning,

ask for an extension until Tuesday afternoon

so you don’t find yourself working on your well-deserved weekend.

And don't worry too much about reputation.

Quality truly is the metric that matters most.

In my data,

employees who proactively asked for more time

reported lower levels of stress and burnout,

and were seen as more committed and professional by their colleagues.

These are small but powerful changes to not only reframe rest,

but to reclaim it.

Once you discover the profound impact that these changes can have,

you’ll feel empowered to demand that others respect

and accommodate your approach to time.

Maybe they’ll even feel inspired

to piece together the fractured moments of their lives, too.