Coaching Skills: Creating Rapport with Clients
Summary
TLDRThis session delves into the art of building rapport with clients, a crucial skill for fostering trust and enhancing professional relationships. It defines rapport as a mutual sense of connection and understanding, often created unconsciously. The speaker outlines various types of rapport, including circumstantial, topic-related, relationship, verbal, and postural gestural rapport. They then introduce eight fundamentals for consciously creating rapport, such as prioritizing it, asking open questions, showing genuine interest, and matching body language. The goal is to help professionals connect more effectively with clients, leading to better outcomes and stronger, long-term relationships.
Takeaways
- 😀 Rapport is a sense of connection and trust that arises when people share values or priorities.
- 🔗 Rapport is usually created unconsciously but can be consciously utilized to build stronger client relationships.
- 🗣️ There are different types of rapport, including circumstantial, topic-related, relationship, verbal, and postural/gestural rapport.
- 🤝 Building rapport involves being genuinely interested in clients, asking open-ended questions, and actively listening.
- 📝 Taking notes during conversations helps remember important details about clients, which can be used to build rapport.
- 👀 Paying attention to commonalities between you and the client can create a sense of shared understanding and connection.
- 🏃♂️ Being on the same 'step' as the client, whether it's focusing on details or big-picture thinking, helps in rapport building.
- 💬 Matching the client's language, including adjectives and modalities, can create verbal rapport and make them feel understood.
- 🧍♂️ Mirroring body language, such as posture and gestures, can create postural rapport and make the client feel more comfortable.
- 👍 Offering positive feedback and acknowledging what the client is doing well can foster trust and strengthen the relationship.
Q & A
What is the definition of Rapport according to the transcript?
-Rapport is described as a sense of connection that occurs when you meet someone you like and trust, whose point of view you understand. It's also defined as a friendly and harmonious relationship where people or groups understand each other's feelings or ideas and communicate well.
Why is creating Rapport with clients important?
-Creating Rapport with clients is important because it helps them feel known, trusted, and safe around you, which encourages them to open up more. This openness allows for better assistance in their journey and can lead to long-term relationships and referrals.
What are the different types of Rapport mentioned in the transcript?
-The transcript mentions four types of Rapport: circumstantial or topic-related Rapport, relationship Rapport, verbal Rapport, and postural and gestural Rapport.
Can you give an example of circumstantial Rapport from the transcript?
-An example of circumstantial Rapport given in the transcript is when two people both have young families or aging parents, creating a shared experience that facilitates connection.
How is relationship Rapport defined in the transcript?
-Relationship Rapport is about truly knowing and understanding your client to create a meaningful connection. It involves showing interest in what's important to them, like their hobbies or family, and demonstrating that you care about their business and them as a person.
What is verbal Rapport and how can it be achieved?
-Verbal Rapport is created by using similar language to your client, which doesn't mean repeating their words exactly but adapting your speech to match their style and the language they use. This can include using the same type of descriptive words or adopting a similar tone.
How does postural and gestural Rapport work?
-Postural and gestural Rapport involves matching the body language and gestures of your client to create a sense of understanding and similarity. This can mean adopting a similar posture, using hand gestures in a way that mirrors the client, or adjusting your own movements to align with theirs.
What are the eight fundamentals of building Rapport as outlined in the transcript?
-The eight fundamentals of building Rapport are: 1) Make Rapport building a priority, 2) Ask lots of open questions, 3) Be interested and show you're listening, 4) Pay attention to what you have in common, 5) Be on the same step with your client, 6) Listen to their language and use similar descriptives, 7) Match and mirror body language, and 8) Offer positive feedback on what's going well.
Why is it beneficial to ask open questions when building Rapport?
-Asking open questions invites more than a yes or no answer, which helps you get to know your client better and provides more opportunities for connection. It also shows that you are genuinely interested in their responses and willing to engage in a deeper conversation.
How can taking notes help in building Rapport?
-Taking notes during conversations helps you remember important details about your client's personal life or business, which you can refer back to in future interactions. This demonstrates that you were listening and value what they shared, thus enhancing Rapport.
What is the significance of being on the same step with your client?
-Being on the same step with your client means recognizing and respecting their current focus, whether it's on details or the big picture. This aligns you with their thought process and helps them feel understood and valued, which is crucial for building Rapport.
Outlines
🤝 Introduction to Rapport Building
The speaker begins by introducing the topic of rapport, emphasizing its importance in client relationships. Rapport is defined as a sense of connection and trust that arises from shared values or priorities. It is usually formed unconsciously but can be consciously developed to enhance client trust and openness. The session aims to explore types of rapport and provide eight fundamentals for building it consciously. The speaker invites participants to reflect on any rapport-building skills they might already use and encourages them to learn new techniques to enhance their client interactions.
🗣️ Types of Rapport and Verbal Communication
This section delves into different types of rapport, including circumstantial or topic-related rapport, which is based on shared life circumstances or interests, and relationship rapport, which involves understanding and caring about the client's personal interests. The speaker also discusses verbal rapport, which is about using similar language and communication styles to the client's. This could involve matching the client's use of visual, auditory, or kinesthetic language and adjusting one's speech pace and style to match the client's for better connection and understanding.
💡 Fundamentals of Rapport Building
The speaker outlines eight fundamentals for building rapport. These include making rapport building a priority, asking open-ended questions, showing genuine interest in the client, paying attention to commonalities, being on the same 'step' as the client in terms of focus on details or big picture, using similar language and descriptives, and matching and mirroring body language. The fundamentals aim to help professionals create a stronger connection with clients, leading to more effective communication and better outcomes in professional relationships.
🔄 Adjusting Communication to Build Rapport
This part of the script focuses on the importance of adjusting one's communication style to match the client's preferences for details or big-picture discussions. It suggests joining the client in their preferred discussion level and then guiding the conversation to the necessary level of detail or broader vision as needed. The speaker emphasizes the importance of listening to the client's language use and mirroring it to establish rapport. The section also touches on the value of positive feedback, highlighting clients' achievements and efforts to foster a sense of being seen and understood.
🌟 Conclusion and Invitation to Practice
In the concluding remarks, the speaker summarizes the key points of the session and encourages listeners to apply the rapport-building techniques discussed. The emphasis is on the natural and authentic use of these techniques to enhance client relationships and interactions. The speaker expresses hope that the session's content has been helpful and invites participants to integrate these learnings into their professional practice.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Rapport
💡Connection
💡Unconscious
💡Circumstantial Rapport
💡Topic-Related Rapport
💡Relationship Rapport
💡Verbal Rapport
💡Postural and Gestural Rapport
💡Open Questions
💡Positive Feedback
Highlights
Rapport is a sense of connection that forms when you meet someone you like and trust.
Rapport is often created unconsciously and is a feeling of 'click' with someone.
Circumstantial Rapport is based on shared circumstances or topics.
Relationship Rapport involves truly knowing and understanding your client.
Verbal Rapport is created through the use of similar language to your client.
Postural and gestural Rapport involves matching a client's body language.
Making Rapport building a priority leads to better results and client relationships.
Asking open questions invites more than a yes or no answer, fostering Rapport.
Being genuinely interested in your client and taking notes on details helps build Rapport.
Noting and highlighting commonalities with your client strengthens Rapport.
Being on the same step as your client in terms of focus on details or big picture.
Matching and mirroring your client's body language can create a sense of understanding.
Offering positive feedback on what's going well helps clients feel seen and heard.
Rapport building is not about being a clone of your client but finding common ground.
Fundamentals of building Rapport include making it a priority and being genuinely interested.
Using similar language and body language to your client can help establish Rapport.
Rapport is about being naturally you and creating beautiful client relationships.
Transcripts
hello in this session we're going to be
talking about Rapport and specifically
how to create rapport with your clients
so first things first let's talk about
what is Rapport so in looking at your
standard definitions we come up with
things like
um
Rapport is a sense of connection that
you get when you meet someone that you
like and Trust whose point of view you
understand reports the bond that forms
when you discover that you share one
another's values or priorities
um another definition is
um that Rapport is a friendly and
harmonious relationship in which people
or groups understand each other's
feelings or ideas and communicate well
so you can get the overall sense from
those definitions but in reality Rapport
is really a feeling and most people have
had that experience of just that click
that you get with someone that feeling
of I like them I trust them have that
feeling that I know them and Rapport is
usually created unconsciously what we're
going to be talking about in this
session is how you can utilize the ways
that we feel Rapport unconsciously but
bring it into
part of your conscious way of helping
clients feel like you know them that
they can trust you they can feel safe
around you and and open up because the
reality is the more someone shares with
you the more you can help them along
their Journey with being a prophet first
um receiver of profit first professional
wisdom
so what I wanted to do in this session
is a couple of things the first is to
break down
types of Rapport and then I'm going to
run through with you eight fundamentals
in building Rapport consciously
before we get started I want to ask you
one question
and that is do you have any Rapport
building skills or tools that you
already
consciously intentionally use with your
clients
often the answer to this is no and then
sometimes when we go through what will
be
um learning in today's session you might
find that you actually do do some of
these things because as I said a lot of
it's unconscious
so do you have anything that you use
already
um and if the answer is yes break tune
into this session and see if there's
anything that you'd like to add you know
change or tweak and if you don't then I
hope this session gives you some ideas
of how to begin to just have more of
that click with more of your clients
which means that you can help more and
it will also help you in the discovery
call
um potentially the discovery call
process and how you build you know
long-term relationships with clients
over time if that's what you want to do
so let's break down the types of the
types of rapport
firstly there's what I call
circumstantial or topic related Rapport
so this is circumstantial maybe you've
both got young families you've both got
aging parents you've both got
um parents that live in overseas or
something like that so this particular
circumstances that you share or topic
related Rapport so we see this I live in
Melbourne
um Australia so it's a quite a lot of
people are into football so you see
Rapport created between people that are
into football and aren't and then
there's an even deeper kind of
connection that can happen with
following particular teams
um we also see topic related rapport
with television shows so there's quite
television shows that create this um
this following and you see it on social
media people talking about this the
episodes and there's assumed knowledge
because everyone's watching it
um as it comes out so that's just a
couple of
um a couple of ideas for you so
circumstantial or topic related rapport
the second type of Rapport
um in this breakdown is relationship
reports this is about really knowing and
understanding your client and creating a
connection that's meaningful so you
um yourself might not let's let's say
your clients has horses and you yourself
don't have horses so you don't have that
circumstantial topic related Rapport but
you know that they do and they really
care about it so you always you know you
ask them about it when you when you
catch up because you know it's
meaningful to them so it's like they've
paid attention that your client feels
like you know them you know what's
important to them you care about their
business and them as a person
um and that's just one example you can
um create that kind of relationship
Rapport by you know really getting to
know your client as a person
um there is also verbal Rapport so
verbal
Rapport is created when you have the
behavioral flexibility to use similar
language to your client now this doesn't
mean that you need to power it exactly
back what they're saying to you but it's
having that you know if they're
constantly talking about what they're
seeing in their business you might also
talk about what you're seeing in their
business so you're both talking about
what you're seeing if they're talking
about how they're feeling in their
business you might
um be able to ask them questions or
offer them a solution and say how does
that feel so it's like you're just using
the same type of language as they are
doesn't have to be over the top but it's
just paying attention to the language
that people are using
and sometimes we can
use types of language like acronyms or
ways of speaking that make sense to us
in our industry and sometimes we can
forget to
make that more common language when
you're talking to someone that you know
doesn't have that shared information so
this is another way that we either
um kind of interfere with creating
Rapport because we're speaking in this
way that doesn't really make a whole lot
of sense
um or we create verbal Rapport by just
speaking in a way that's similar to you
know similar style to how your client is
is communicating and you just meet them
where they are it's kind of Rapport is
this type of Rapport is kind of like
dancing with someone if you're wondering
if someone's wanting to do a a waltz in
someone else is cha-charing well there's
no Rapport so this is what I mean in
terms of verbal Rapport I can get quite
animated and speak really fast but if
I'm speaking with someone who's slow and
methodical and considering each step my
way of creating rapport with them is
just to be willing to slow right down
and that just helps them feel like I'm
not pushing them out of where they are
and as I said this is unconscious it's
just the person leaves the session
feeling like they actually got to be
themselves so it's a wonderful thing to
explore and try out
another type of Rapport is postural and
gestural Rapport so if someone's using
their hands a lot when they speak I do
this
um
and you're sitting opposite someone
that's got their hands clasped and they
never move you might as a person that
gestures a lot just kind of slow that
down or maybe only you know just baby
hold your hands a little bit more still
or if someone if you are someone that's
quite still and someone's really
animated if you can join them just a
little bit in the important bits in a
little bit of Animation or gestures
they'll just get that unconscious sense
that you understand them you're like
them because that feeling that you get
that we all talk about in terms of you
know marketing and referrals people want
to have that experience of a liking
knowing and trusting you and this is
just little ways that you can join them
a little bit and just help them to feel
like you're on the same page as them
postural is more about you know if
they're sitting in a really open way so
they're really relaxed they're kind of
sitting back
um and you've got very closed down body
language that it will just they will
notice it unconsciously whether it's
conscious or not they'll just think oh
they're you're uptight or if they're
really closed and upright and I want to
say sensible but if they're all
um quite stiff in their body language in
your life this well they'll also feel
you know potentially like you're not as
connected if there's a little bit of
similarity
so that's that's how I wanted to just
break down the Rapport so circumstantial
and topic related relationship Rapport
verbal reports are using that similar
language and posture and you know basic
gesturing so that's kind of four
different ways that you can consciously
bring into your client conversations to
create that rapport
before we move on to some fundamentals I
just want to be really clear that you do
not have to do all of this because I
think it would be it would it would make
you not focused on the content of your
conversation if you're trying to do all
of it
but the reason that I'm giving you lots
of options and running through the
fundamentals is to help you when you
first meet a client you might just hear
one of that one of those breakdowns of
Rapport and think okay I can do that and
I can bring a little bit of
Consciousness to that one type of
Rapport into my sessions and you know
just watch what happens in terms of when
you're meeting with people
the other way this is useful is if
you're in a conversation with a client
and the conversation seems to have
derailed so it's like all of a sudden
you're just really aware they're in a
different place to you and they're
they're kind of wanting to back away or
that you can tell they're not feeling
understood
being aware of these types of Rapport
are a way to just get the conversation
back from derailed and you know back to
you and then you understanding them them
understanding you
so let's move on to some fundamentals of
building Rapport I've just got eight
steps here just to give you
um some ideas and like I said you don't
have to be doing all of it these are
just about having some things in your
tool box that you can pull out when
you're wanting to have a conversation
um go well or if things have derailed so
I have a sip of water
okay number one
my invitation to you is to make Rapport
building a priority so like I said this
experience of people liking you knowing
you and trusting you is
a fundamental way of getting the best
results for them and also creating
referrals and creating that relationship
that allows people to you know open up
and the more they open up the more you
can achieve together so if you can just
make Rapport building just in there in
your Consciousness as something that you
do that's going to help you along the
way on your journey of being a profit
first professional and whatever else you
do in your business as well
number two ask lots of open questions
that invite more than a yes or no answer
so that's what an open question is this
helps you get to know your client and it
gives you more to connect with even what
did you get up to on the weekend it's an
open question can't answer yes or no to
it and have it be it would have it be a
reasonable answer to a question like
that and it just helps you to get to
know them so a lot of people do this
consciously but are you paying attention
to the information that you actually get
back from your open questions
which leads me into number three which
is be interested
so listening to your clients and really
showing that you're listening so some
people will ask to borrow that you know
how was your weekend question but they
they're kind of hearing and setting up
for the meeting or something like that
are they really listening so I take
notes when I work with work with clients
being a coach but I take note of the
details of the things that really matter
so be interested show that you're
listening and also take notes if you're
a note taker or if you've got an
excellent memory file in a way of the
details that seem to really matter
so you might be working with a client in
their you know youngest child or their
grandchild is about to start school when
you catch up with them next month or
next order you can ask them about it and
it's going to make them feel special and
like you were really listening when they
spoke about their life outside of their
business so know some details about
their life and you can refer back to
this
um and people will give you in general
conversation they might say oh my
partner's about to turn 50 or
um you know my parents are going to
France or whatever it is these are
details that people are telling you and
you can utilize them to create this
rapport
uh number four pay attention to what you
have in common
and make note of this
so it might be like I was saying before
it might be a football team it might be
you you both love the the same time of
year the best some people love summer
some people love spring some people love
winter you know what I mean just pay
attention to what you have in common and
just make this something that you take
note of and this is going to give your
client this we're on the same page
feeling you don't need to be a clone of
them but you can just have this one
thing that you both love speaking about
or that you check in with each other
about and that's going to create rapport
number five and this may take some
pattern breaking or or not but it takes
some Consciousness so number five is be
on the same step with your client
so have you ever been in a conversation
with someone where they're wanting to
move on to talking about this part of
whatever you're talking about and you're
you're back here you're still here it's
like oh I need to know this before we
can
get to that part so some of us are very
we need a lot of understanding of the
detail before we can step into bigger
picture type things
some people are so much more interested
and happy and enjoy being in the big
picture conversations
and they're not really a huge fan of the
details so that's just one example we
can also map this this way so it's let's
imagine we're talking about profit first
implementation and the person's on like
how many bank accounts and you're going
this will change your life in
two years time or something like that
and you want to talk about the results
over here and they're like yeah but but
I need to I need to know this before I
can join you here
so just paying attention to your client
and where they are will help you to be
on the same step as them and this will
also help the person not feel like
they've walked into your office or
they've walked into the zoo they've
opened up the zoom meeting and they're
on a conveyor belt but they've got no
choice on because I'm sure you've I've
had that in the sales
type environment where it's all of a
sudden I've had a conversation and I
just can feel they're like
this step this step this step this step
and I might still be here wanting to you
know understand this part and it's not
it doesn't make you feel valued as a as
a person
and it can give you that sense of I'm
just a number rather than
you know I really matter so be on the
same step with them now if coming back
to this idea of details and big picture
if someone's a big picture thinker join
them in the big picture
and then say
I've just need to pop into the details
for a moment because we're going to need
to do this and this in order to achieve
that
kind of thing so it's like you're
joining them where you are where they
are creating Rapport popping into the
details because they matter in order to
create results or you can do it the
other way the person's in the specifics
and you can join them in the step that
they're in you can join them where they
are and you can say
I'm hearing the details with you and
we'll definitely be doing this and this
and this and this I just want to for a
moment talk to you about a few things
that are possible when we get this right
and then you can offer the big picture
so it's just join people where where
they are and this is the same with this
kind of movement so it's like just talk
to them here and I just want to let you
know when we get this right we can
create this so join them where they are
so you can move on with them
number six listen to their language and
use similar descriptives or similar
modalities so this is that language
matching that I was talking about the
verbal Rapport using similar language
you can do this with
um descriptors like
if they're talking about seeing you can
join them in seeing it they're talking
about
um you know what things feel like you
can do it like that you can also just
use similar adjectives like I use the
words amazing and fabulous a lot that's
just part of my nature so if someone was
creating rapport with me they'd be able
to go isn't that fabulous and I'd be
like oh they're so my kind of person so
you can use some similar words again
you're not becoming a robot because that
would just be weird but just pick up a
couple of words they use and use it back
and you'll have that sense of we're on
the same page they understand me
number seven is matching and mirroring
body language so this is what we were
talking about before in terms of
postural and gestural support just
picking some Basics if that's what sits
with you you do not have to do all of
these these are just ideas
now number eight which is a step that
maybe you're already doing or maybe you
want to add into the mix number eight in
the fundamentals of building Rapport is
offer positive feedback on what you're
noticing and what's going well
so it's very easy when we're solving
problems to be focused on the the
problem and focused on solving you know
focus on okay that's done now next
problem next problem next problem
especially initially when we're working
with people
but I'm really know how good it feels
when someone is able to say to you
basically I see what you're doing I see
how much effort you've put in you've
created that isn't that wonderful or be
me isn't that fabulous or isn't that
like it's amazing what you've done in
such a short amount of time or it's
really admirable how much effort you're
putting in it's you're basically saying
I see you
so if you notice people doing things
well even if there's a whole lot of
things they haven't done if they've
opened that one bank account or they've
done that one thing offering positive
feedback about what's going well helps
people feel seeing heard and understood
which leads to them liking knowing and
trusting you but it's just so much more
fun to hear
you know positive feedback on what's
going well rather than problem problem
so they're my eight fundamentals in
building Rapport I hope some of that is
really useful and some of it you can add
into the way that you speak with clients
so that it feels natural and Rapport is
all about being naturally you
in your own way and creating clients
relationships that feel really beautiful
to show up for so thank you for
listening I hope that's been helpful
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