This Is The Secret To INSANE Success!
Summary
TLDRIn this inspiring talk, David shares how embracing imperfections can lead to personal growth and success. He recounts his journey from addiction, highlighting the impact of Reverend T. Jakes' advice to 'throw your scars, not your stars.' David emphasizes the importance of authenticity, vulnerability, and letting go of the need for perfection to attract prosperity, heal, and discover one's purpose. He encourages listeners to be real, share their struggles, and step into the unknown to unlock their potential and live a fulfilling life.
Takeaways
- 🌟 Embrace imperfection as a superpower; it's our flaws that often become our greatest strengths.
- 🗣️ Reverend T. Jakes' advice to 'throw your scars, not your stars' emphasizes the value of authenticity over a facade of perfection.
- 🔑 Being true to oneself is central to healing, prosperity, and discovering one's purpose in the world.
- 💡 The pressure to maintain a perfect image is exhausting and counterproductive to personal growth and business success.
- 🤔 Fear of judgment and rejection often silences our true thoughts and ideas, hindering both personal and professional development.
- 👥 Letting go of toxic or non-supportive relationships is crucial for personal evolution and attracting more beneficial connections.
- 🚫 Avoiding vulnerability and pretending to be perfect can lead to a lonely and unfulfilling life, both emotionally and spiritually.
- 💭 Vulnerability allows for the expression of genuine feelings and thoughts, fostering deeper connections and a stronger support network.
- 🌱 Happiness and wholeness are internal states that come from being authentic and embracing one's imperfections.
- 🌐 Authenticity and vulnerability are magnetic qualities that attract like-minded individuals and create a community of support and growth.
Q & A
Who is Reverend T. Jakes and what impact did he have on the speaker's life?
-Reverend T. Jakes is a powerful motivational speaker who played a significant role in the speaker's life during a dark period of struggle with addiction. His voice provided the light needed for the speaker's recovery, personal growth, and spiritual development.
What advice did Reverend T. Jakes give during his speech that resonated with the speaker?
-Reverend T. Jakes advised to 'throw your scars, not your stars,' emphasizing the importance of embracing one's imperfections and being authentic rather than presenting a perfect image.
Why is it exhausting to maintain a perfect image according to the speaker?
-The speaker suggests that the pursuit of perfection is exhausting because it requires constant effort to pretend to be someone you're not, which includes suppressing one's true thoughts, feelings, and ideas to avoid criticism or judgment.
How does being authentic help in personal growth and business success?
-Authenticity allows for personal growth by enabling vulnerability and the expression of true thoughts and feelings, which in turn can lead to deeper connections and more meaningful relationships. In business, it fosters trust and can attract like-minded individuals, potentially leading to greater success and impact.
What is the 'small gap' mentioned by the speaker, and why can it feel lonely?
-The 'small gap' refers to the period of transition when one lets go of old habits, relationships, or ways of thinking that no longer serve their growth. It can feel lonely because it involves stepping into the unknown and potentially leaving behind familiar comfort zones.
Why is vulnerability important for healing and happiness according to the speaker?
-Vulnerability is crucial for healing and happiness because it allows individuals to express their true feelings, connect authentically with others, and release the emotional burden of maintaining a facade. It fosters real connections and a sense of belonging, which are essential for emotional well-being.
What does the speaker suggest is the fastest way to one's destiny?
-The speaker believes that being true to oneself, or 'just being you,' is the fastest and most effective way to reach one's destiny because it involves living authentically and embracing one's imperfections, which can lead to personal growth and fulfillment.
How does the speaker describe the process of letting go of the old self?
-The speaker describes letting go of the old self as a necessary, though scary, step towards personal growth and happiness. It involves facing the fear of rejection, being alone, and the discomfort of change, but ultimately leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
What is the significance of the phrase 'throw your scars, not your stars' in the context of the speaker's message?
-The phrase 'throw your scars, not your stars' signifies the importance of embracing and sharing one's struggles and imperfections rather than boasting about achievements. It encourages authenticity and vulnerability, which can lead to deeper connections and personal growth.
Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of being real and authentic in relationships and business?
-The speaker emphasizes authenticity in relationships and business because it builds trust, allows for genuine connections, and can lead to more meaningful and successful outcomes. Authenticity also reduces the stress and effort of maintaining a false image, leading to a more relaxed and fulfilling life.
Outlines
🌟 Embracing Imperfection as a Superpower
The speaker begins by discussing how our imperfections and flaws are actually our greatest strengths. He shares a personal story of meeting Reverend T. Jakes, a motivational speaker who helped him during a period of struggle with addiction. The speaker emphasizes the importance of being authentic and vulnerable, suggesting that trying to be perfect is exhausting and hinders personal growth. He encourages the audience to embrace their true selves as a path to healing, prosperity, and discovering one's purpose.
🔄 The Burden of Perfection and the Journey to Authenticity
In this paragraph, the speaker delves deeper into the concept of letting go of the need for perfection. He reflects on his own past, where he was driven by the fear of making mistakes and the pursuit of success, which led to a facade of perfection. He contrasts this with his current approach, which involves sharing his imperfections and building genuine relationships. The speaker highlights the energy and effort it takes to maintain a false image and how embracing vulnerability can lead to happiness and a more fulfilling life.
📚 Book Introduction and the Power of Vulnerability
The speaker introduces his book, 'A Changed Mind,' which outlines frameworks and tools for personal transformation. He discusses the importance of being real and authentic, suggesting that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength that allows for deeper connections and personal growth. He also touches on the community's feedback, which values his authenticity and vulnerability, and encourages listeners to embrace their wholeness and let go of the need for perfection.
🌈 Living Authentically and the Flow of Life
Here, the speaker talks about the benefits of living authentically and the impact it has on one's life. He explains that when we accept ourselves and stop trying to be perfect, we open up to new possibilities and experiences. The speaker suggests that authenticity and vulnerability are magnetic qualities that can lead to better health, clearer purpose, and a more aligned life. He also mentions a community survey that highlighted the value of his authenticity and vulnerability, reinforcing the message that being true to oneself is key to personal growth and happiness.
💌 Encouragement to Be Yourself and Community Engagement
In the final paragraph, the speaker encourages the audience to continue on their journey of self-discovery and authenticity. He acknowledges that the process can be scary but assures listeners that they are not alone. The speaker invites audience members to share the episode with others who might benefit from the message and to engage with the community for further support and growth. He also provides a call to action for subscribing to his newsletter and watching more videos for additional insights.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Imperfection
💡Vulnerability
💡Authenticity
💡Addiction
💡Recovery
💡Scar
💡Personal Growth
💡Purpose
💡Happiness
💡Transformation
Highlights
Embracing imperfection as a superpower can lead to personal growth and recovery.
Meeting Reverend T. Jakes provided a turning point in overcoming addictions.
The importance of having a voice, like Reverend T. Jakes', during dark times.
Reverend T. Jakes' advice to 'throw your scars, not your stars' is a powerful message.
The societal pressure to be perfect is exhausting and unnecessary.
Authenticity in being oneself is crucial for healing and prosperity.
The energy spent on pretending to be someone else is better used in being true to oneself.
Fear of sharing ideas and the voice of self-doubt can hinder personal growth.
The need to let go of old friendships that no longer align with personal growth.
Vulnerability is key to building strong relationships and communities.
The concept of 'scars' as a strength rather than a weakness in personal development.
The struggle with the facade of perfection and the liberation of being authentic.
The impact of vulnerability on mental health and the journey to recovery.
How letting go of the need to be perfect can lead to happiness and fulfillment.
The transformational power of being real and authentic in personal and professional life.
The community's appreciation for authenticity and vulnerability in leadership.
The invitation to subscribe and join the community for further growth and support.
Transcripts
today I want to talk to you about a
superpower that you have which is
actually your imperfection that your
flaws are your greatest strength I had
an opportunity several years ago to meet
a mentor of mine a guy who I looked to
during a very dark period of my life
when I was struggling with drug and
alcoholism and pornography addiction my
thinking was so toxic that I had to put
someone else's voice in my ears and it
was this gentleman he's a very powerful
motivational speaker a guy by the name
of Reverend T Jakes and we were both
speaking at an event and I had an
opportunity to meet him backstage and I
said Reverend Jake I just want to let
you know you were there for me whether
you know it or not during the darkest
time of my life your voice was the light
that I needed in order to carry me
forward into my recovery into my
personal growth into my Spiritual
Development and I just want to thank you
because your words have helped shape the
person that I've become today we had a
wonderful conversation and then he went
out he was the big keynote speaker at
this event and he got on stage and he
said hey before I get started I just
want to let you all know that you're
going to hear from someone pretty extra
ordinary guy by the name of David bear I
had an opportunity to meet him backstage
and he did something very very different
than what most people do I read his bio
before I came out here he's done some
amazing things he's created a very
successful transformational company he's
helped a lot of people he's got a lot of
things that he could brag about but he
didn't mention any of it and he did one
thing that I think the rest of you could
do more of and that is throw your scars
not your stars and that really stuck
with me and I've learned over time what
a incredible truth that is and there's
so much out out there today that's
convincing you that you need to be
perfect but it's exhausting isn't it I
don't know about you but I just got
tired of it and so what I want to talk
to you about today is the importance of
you being you you being you is actually
how you heal you being you is about how
you become more prosperous and abundant
you being you is the pathway for you to
discover your purpose in the world you
being you is how you're actually going
to grow your business to the next level
of success and impact or transform any
aspect of your life
because it takes so much energy to
pretend to be someone you're not you
know not speaking your truth is one way
that we pretend to be somebody that
we're not at least that's what I did you
know I was afraid to share my ideas at
work with my co-workers or my management
I'd have ideas I think there were things
that might improve what we were doing
but there was this voice in my head that
said ah Dave you know you may not know
what you're talking about or people
might criticize you or make fun of you
so I kept those ideas to myself I wasn't
being me I was trying to be
perfect or I was spending time with a
lot of people who frankly I didn't need
to be spending time with anymore you may
have people in your life right now who
you're still hanging out with even
though you're listening to episodes like
this you're focusing on your personal
growth you're looking to create
betterment in your life and the lives of
other people but you're still hanging
out with friends that you should
probably let go of because that's who
you used to be but it's not who you are
anymore but because we're afraid to live
in that small Gap
which can feel very very lonely as our
old friends transition out the people
who we're comfortable with into this
alone time to create space for the
universe which it will every single time
Bring You Next Level people and
friendships and extraordinary
relationships you're hanging on to
something that it didn't yours to hang
on to anymore there are a lot of
different ways that we kind of keep the
status quo or that we try to stay
perfect you know it's easy to hang out
with people who are not up to anything
meaningful in their lives if you're
actually up to something and it can feel
comforting it can make you feel good
you're sort of at the top of your uh
local friends uh totem pole but
ultimately what happens is you have to
step into the
unknown and when we step into the
unknown a big part of that is starting
to become more vulnerable you know not
being vulnerable not talking about our
problems not sharing our problems and
I'm not talking about complaining but
not having the courage to be imperfect
to be able to say to the right friends
and the right people around you who are
on the same Journey with you you know
hey I'm scared about this thing or hey
I'm worried about this can I talk
through this with you for a moment so I
don't have to bottle all this
up there are a lot of different ways
that we try to feel good about ourselves
based on who we surround ourselves with
keeping our ideas to ourselves avoiding
criticism not wanting to bother anyone
or even hustling grinding and pursuing
success so that we can live some sort of
fake material lifestyle that we can post
on social media while deep down inside
we're comparing ourselves to other
people we're feeling like we're not
enough and it's this bottling up not
being able to be vulnerable not being
able to be authentic not sharing or
throwing as TD Jake said your
scars that's making us sick it's what
keeps us poor it's what keeps us
spiritually disconnected because it
requires so much energy to hold that
false sense of perfection or the old
self together are you with me like it's
a lot of work it's a it's a lot of work
to walk around trying to not make a
mistake it's a it's a lot of work when
the next level of your life or your
business or your purpose is calling you
forward but you keep hanging on to the
old friends and the old ways that you've
been it's a lot of work and energy and
effort and it breaks us down over time
and it prevents the new from flowing
into our lives and what I found over the
course of my own Journey which is
absolutely imperfect
is that it's about sharing my
imperfection that has allowed me to
build the most amazing relationships to
create an extraordinary Community to
discover what I meant to do in the world
to create Financial abundance to attract
the woman of my dreams to have the
material things because there's nothing
wrong with wanting to have the material
things but they come as a byproduct of
you being
you you know my life before was about
needing to be perfect I was terrified to
make mistakes
I needed to make a lot of money I I
pursued success I pushed academically I
was very entrepreneurial and
ambitious but deep down inside I was in
a lot of pain because I was afraid to
share who I really was for fear of
rejection I thought I needed to be
perfect and it took a lot of energy to
hold that facade together you know I
thought that there was something wrong
with me if I wasn't in a relationship so
I bounced from girlfriend to girlfriend
to girlfriend women that I probably
never should have been dating because I
was too scared to be alone and what it
would look like if I
was and I needed to be seing as
successful you know successful in
everything that I did not really being
present or appreciating anybody else not
listening to what other people had to
say not sharing what was going on with
me in my life and how I felt and the
challenges that I was having a lot of
energy to hold that fake David in place
and fortunately for me that ention that
overbearing weight led to my addiction
because in recovery I found
vulnerability it was the only way that I
could get clean and sober it was the
only way that I could stop drinking stop
smoking marijuana stop looking at
pornography stop trying to sex because I
was using all of those tools to cope
with the discomfort of trying to hold it
all together and not be real about who I
was and what was going on in my
life and in recovery I found
vulnerability and I found other
vulnerable people and I'm not talking
about walking around complaining all day
long and living inside of your problems
but I'm talking about feeling safe to
express your feelings because you've
surrounded Yourself by other people who
feel safe doing that with you and I
discovered it was the only way that I
could heal and be
happy and it's amazing today because I I
look at where I was before going out
partying going to nightclubs spending
every Sunday watching sports games with
other people that I thought were my
friends who seemed like they were maybe
achieving some things you know
successful lawyers or investors or
professionals or whatever it was it's
it's not like they weren't doing
anything but they they were paying more
attention to the stats of their favorite
football player than they were to the
stats of their own life and I started
waking up and realizing I don't want to
do that I don't want to wear somebody
else's name on the back of my shirt I I
want to wear my own name on the back of
my
shirt and in order to do that it was
very scary cuz I had to let go of the
old but what I discovered was when I did
that I let go of the old and I started
being real with myself and with other
people I was able to heal and I was able
to start being happy because happiness
is a thing that's inside of you right
now happiness is not
something that is out there or that
you'll experience once you solve some
problem in your life or you achieve some
level of
success most of us have this false idea
that like if I can can just blank then
I'll be happy and so we spend years and
years decades and decades pursuing
whatever that blank is a perfect
relationship overcoming our chronic
Health Challenge making a certain amount
of money you know getting some level of
Accolade being a New York Times
best-selling author or one of the top
thought leaders in our category or super
successful business then the terrifying
thing is when you actually achieve that
and you realize you're still not happy
happiness is a habit and you can develop
it right
now and the irony is is that when you
choose to be happy would you can only
become when you're being yourself which
requires you to be real and authentic
and vulnerable and being willing not to
try to one up everybody else around you
so you can feel good about yourself but
actually connecting with people by being
real and sharing the types of things
that they're going through that they're
not willing to share by being
vulnerable that's the way that you can
be happy and when you do that then all
the other stuff starts to fill in hey
it's David just a quick ruption to your
regularly scheduled Episode by your
favorite sponsor I want to tell you
about my book it is available on Amazon
right here right now a changed mind go
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everything that you want to achieve this
is the way to achieve it and Amazon has
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and pick up your copy or better yet pick
up a copy for a friend too there's
nothing better than giving the gift of
transformation right now hop on over to
Amazon there's a link in the show notes
and if you love the book as much as I
loved writing it for you do me a favor
let me know that and leave a review and
now back to your regularly scheduled
episode you know I don't share my scars
as a marketing tool I do it because it's
who I have to be if I'm going to
continue to move through this journey of
realizing my
wholeness the happiness is already there
the wholeness is already there it's just
a matter of reconnecting to what I came
into this world with to what you came
into this world with but at such an
early age we become programmed to live
in this distorted reality of pretending
to be somebody that we're not for fear
that other people won't accept us and
what we have to do is unlearn that
behavior
so I am whole already and you're whole
too and you know what whole isn't
perfect we wear these masks pretending
to be someone we're not and the crazy
thing is so is everybody else and so
there's this weird theater of make
believe that is our day-to-day
lives and maybe you've started to feel
like it's confusing or maybe it's been
confusing for a long time
the reason why it feels so confusing is
because nobody's being real we're all so
terrified of being ourselves because
we're comparing ourselves to other
people who aren't being themselves and
that's why being yourself is such a
novelty that's why being yourself is is
really like being a diamond right within
the coal mine because everybody else is
preventing their light from shining
through when you start being yourself
you
relax just feel through it for a second
if you knew that you didn't need to be
perfect if you knew that you didn't need
to make other people happy if if you
knew that there was nothing wrong with
you that you were already whole that
happiness was inside of you then you
relax there's there's no gap between
where you are and where you want to
be and you can just be yourself when you
relax you start to let the emotions out
you have a good
cry you allow the to kind of work its
way through you you
metabolize all of this psychological and
emotional
constipation that is being held in the
tension that we're living in on a
day-to-day basis being somebody other
than who we really
are and so when you start being yourself
and when you start to relax and you
start to allow yourself to be real with
others and to be true to your emotions
and how you're thinking and feeling you
stop holding on so tight to needing to
be something that you're not and when
you do that
you create a space inside of you you
literally start to open up there's
literally a cellular expansion the
tissues of your body start to relax
there's a neurophysiological reaction
you can actually feel it but we could
measure it as well you start to open up
literally space inside of
you and when you open up that space it's
space for your chronic health condition
to heal rather than all of the tension
that's perpetuating it you think about
it from a health standpoint what is it
95% of major chronic diseases right now
are stress related a lot of that stress
comes from us not being ourselves as
soon as you're willing to just allow
yourself to be seen for who you are
without any judgment or feeling ashamed
about the fact that you know you're
you're experiencing challenges that
you've had tough times in your life that
you you're still carrying some of that
with you and you're working on letting
it go you relax you open up space and in
that you find
Healing it's a space for new ideas to
merge around your purpose because when
you're living in a consistent state of
fight or flight as a result of being
afraid that someone's going to discover
something about you that isn't a thing
you need to hide in the first place and
you're not relaxed you don't have new
ideas you don't have Clarity around how
to achieve the things you want to
achieve in your life it creates a space
to relax into your business instead of
hustling and
grinding that relaxation also opens up a
space for higher power or God or the
universe or whatever you want to call it
to to start working in your life and
everything starts to reorganize to align
to make
sense and now you get to start living in
the flow of Life all because you've
started accepting
yourself all because you're no longer
playing the game that everybody else is
playing of trying to be perfect so that
you can get somebody else's
approval and then you get to have it all
you get to have authenticity you get to
be
vulnerable and those things are
magnetic there's a
a polarizing energy to being vulnerable
and authentic don't you just love
someone who's real like it's not even
about what they say it's about how they
feel and how you feel in their presence
or when you're watching them or hearing
them it's vibrational and can't you just
feel when someone isn't being real too
there's a lot of that going on in the
world right now and so that's okay right
we sense that there's something not
right that that people aren't being real
because all the fakeness just helps us
tune in hone in lock in to the realness
even more so all of it serves a great
purpose of guiding us back to ourselves
and into the life that we're meant to
live we surveyed our community a couple
of months ago and I look at all the
comments on these episodes on YouTube
and some of the reviews on the podcast
platforms and it's amazing to see the
consistency of the feedback but we we
sent a survey out via email because
we've been growing so fast and I wanted
to create some new trainings and
programs for you and and and for you and
I and the community to go deeper
together into this work and so we said
hey what is it that you resonate with in
terms of all these teachings that David
has been delivering and you know what
was amazing the number one thing that
people said was I love how authentic
David is I love how vulnerable he is
he's
real it wasn't about what I say it
wasn't about what I teach it wasn't
about what I've achieved
it's about the vulnerability of who I'm
being so you throw your
scars not your
stars I don't know what your destiny has
in store for you and you might not know
either but I know one thing for
sure you just being you is going to be
the fastest easiest and best way of
getting
there and it's probably going to feel
really scary at first you know it it was
scary for me to start being vulnerable
and by the way I'm not suggesting that
you go out and start telling everybody
you're addicted to
pornography that's my journey right I
share it in front of thousands of people
from stage because it's part of my story
and it's an appropriate part of my story
to
share and so as a result of that I've
had hundreds of men come up to me and
say hey like i' I've been holding on to
this and not willing to tell anybody
that I have a problem because I was
afraid that there was something wrong
with me and you sharing that has made me
realize that like that's the only way
that I'm going to get better and that's
fantastic right so I'm not suggesting
that when we start becoming vulnerable
and authentic and sharing our scars that
we go you know trauma vomit all over
everyone but you start being real and
when you do that you may lose some
friends and you know what that's a good
thing you may have some people at first
that aren't ready for it that's okay too
because you know what that realness is
so powerful that it'll push whoever you
need to push out of your orbit and
before you know it you'll have a whole
new reality around you that appreciates
you and loves and rewards you for being
you so just be
you just be you you're doing a great
job on this journey just be a little bit
more of you the beautiful thing is
that's not about finding something
external to you it's just about letting
go of just what's not you and that you
don't need to be holding on to
anymore and you don't have to do it
alone this this is this personal growth
thing this you know next evolution of
where we're all going together it's not
a do-it-yourself project it's a do- it
with others
so I'm glad you're here we're glad
you're here just keep being here you
know we love you
um you're on the right path and we're on
it with you so if if there's somebody in
your life who's in the process of
learning how to be themselves again do
me a favor if you love this episode
share this episode with them leave me a
comment below question uh subscribe to
the channel hit the Bell icon if you're
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notifications Give me a review if you're
listening on the podcast platforms
that's how we get this workout to even
more people and we'll keep on keeping on
together I love you very much and I'll
see you in the next episode hey David
hop on over to David bear.com click
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[Music]
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