FIRST MESSAGE FORMULA: Steal My Lines! (Tinder, Hinge, Bumble)

Summary

This video script offers a guide on crafting effective first messages in online dating to increase the chances of securing a date. The speaker emphasizes the importance of a good opener, suggesting strategies like commenting on unique aspects of a match's profile or using personalized prompts. Tips include keeping messages short, light, and relevant to the dating context, while also conveying a positive image of oneself as the 'prize'. The script shares examples of successful messages and the thought process behind them, aiming to help viewers initiate engaging conversations and stand out from the crowd.

Takeaways

• 😀 The first message in online dating is crucial as it can make or break the potential for a date.
• 🔍 When initiating a conversation, review the match's profile to find unique points to comment on or tease.
• 📝 If no unique points are found, use a 'stock' message that has worked with similar profiles before.
• 📩 Shorter messages are generally better; conciseness is key in online communication.
• 🌟 Commenting on a prompt rather than a photo can come off as more genuine and less superficial.
• 🤷‍♂️ Use personal prompts effectively to show similarity and create a relatable connection.
• 😜 Adopt a slightly irreverent and humorous tone to stand out from typical messages.
• 🔄 Copy and paste successful messages for similar prompts, but be ready to adapt them for personalization.
• 📈 Tailor messages to the type of person you're messaging, such as sporty, outgoing, or first-generation immigrants.
• 📱 The conversation should lead to exchanging numbers and making tentative plans for a date.
• 📉 Avoid being overly serious or romantic; keep the tone light, witty, and relevant to the dating context.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video script?

The main topic of the video script is about how to write effective first messages in online dating to increase the chances of getting more dates.

Why is the first message in online dating considered so important?

The first message is important because it can make or break the potential for a connection; it can lead to either no response or a successful date.

What is the speaker's general messaging strategy when matching with a girl for the first time?

The speaker's strategy involves scrolling through the girl's profile to find something unusual to comment on or tease, and if not, using a stock message that has worked before for a similar type of girl.

What are the two final tips the speaker gives regarding the first message?

The two final tips are to keep the message short and to comment on a prompt rather than a photo, as it seems more genuine and less superficial.

What does the speaker mean by 'stock message'?

A 'stock message' refers to a message that the speaker has used before and found to be effective in certain contexts or with certain types of girls.

How does the speaker suggest responding to a girl's prompt about having her own businesses?

The speaker suggests responding with a light-hearted and slightly irreverent message, such as mentioning being an entrepreneur without a boss and being bad at taking orders, to show relatability and a bit of humor.

What is the 'cheat code' for online dating that the speaker introduces?

The 'cheat code' refers to the idea of using prompts from the girl and the speaker's own prompts to create messages that can be copied and pasted for similar situations, making the messaging process easier.

Why does the speaker recommend responding to prompts with a message that is light, short, and a bit funny?

The speaker recommends this approach because it keeps the conversation light and engaging, avoiding seriousness and small talk, and focuses on the compatibility between the two individuals.

How does the speaker use the girl's profile and prompt choices to personalize the first message?

The speaker tailors the message to the girl's profile by acknowledging something specific she posted or a prompt she liked, making the message relevant and personal to her.

What common threads should be present in the first messages according to the speaker?

The common threads should include being light, short, funny, relevant to the man-to-woman context, personal to the girl, and conveying the speaker in a positive frame as the prize and selector.

Where can viewers find the full text conversations and breakdowns of the messages mentioned in the script?

Viewers can find the full text conversations and breakdowns in the speaker's course called Online Dating Academy.

Outlines

00:00

📩 Crafting the Perfect First Message on Dating Apps

This paragraph discusses the importance of the first message in online dating and introduces a strategy for writing effective openers. The speaker emphasizes the common mistakes made by men and hints at a future video discussing these errors. The focus is on a simple method for creating good first messages that consistently work well. The speaker shares personal first messages as examples, highlighting the importance of tailoring messages to the recipient's profile and using prompts rather than photos for a more genuine interaction. Tips are given on the brevity and relevance of messages, with a preference for shorter, more specific comments that relate to the type of girl being messaged.

05:01

💡 Leveraging Prompts and Personalization for Successful Online Dating

The speaker elaborates on the technique of using prompts from both the user's and the match's profiles to craft messages that lead to successful interactions. He demonstrates how to analyze a profile for unique traits or interests to create a personalized message, and how to use one's own prompts to streamline responses to common interests. The paragraph includes examples of messages that led to positive outcomes, showing how to maintain a light and engaging tone while also being concise and relevant. The speaker also introduces the concept of 'cheat codes' for online dating, where prepared responses to common prompts can be reused effectively.

10:02

📈 The Art of Messaging: From Prompts to Personal Connection

This paragraph continues the discussion on messaging strategies, focusing on the importance of creating a connection through prompts and personal interests. The speaker provides examples of how to interpret and respond to prompts that indicate the match's personality traits, such as a preference for adventure or integrity. The examples show how to maintain a playful and genuine tone while also subtly showcasing one's own positive attributes. The speaker also touches on the idea of using stock lines and the importance of being responsive to create momentum in the conversation.

🎯 The Impact of Message Quality: From Good to Great

The final paragraph contrasts the effectiveness of good versus great messages, using examples to illustrate the difference. The speaker explains how to identify unique elements in a profile that can be used to craft a more compelling and personalized message. The examples demonstrate how to create a narrative around the match's interests and how to use humor and wit to stand out. The paragraph concludes with a summary of the common elements found in successful messages, such as being light, short, relevant, personal, and conveying a positive self-image.

Keywords

💡Online Dating

Online dating refers to the use of internet services to find potential romantic partners. It is the central theme of the video, which discusses crafting the first message in this context. The script mentions online dating as a platform where initial impressions can make or break a potential match.

💡First Message

The first message in online dating is the initial communication sent to a match, setting the tone for further interaction. The video emphasizes the importance of this message in attracting a response and potentially leading to a date, as it can significantly influence the match's interest.

💡Profile

A profile in the context of online dating is the personal page that displays information about an individual to potential matches. The script suggests reviewing a match's profile for unique details to use in crafting a personalized first message.

💡Irreverent

Irreverent refers to a style of communication that is playful and not overly respectful, often used to convey humor or a relaxed attitude. The video advises using an irreverent tone in first messages to stand out and appear more engaging.

💡Entrepreneurial

Entrepreneurial describes someone who creates and runs their own businesses, often indicating ambition and independence. The script uses this term to identify a match's possible traits and to find common ground for conversation.

💡Prompt

In online dating, a prompt is a question or statement provided by the platform for users to answer or react to in their profile. The video script illustrates using prompts from both the user's and the match's profiles to create engaging and personalized messages.

💡Relevance

Relevance in the context of messaging refers to the pertinence of the message to the recipient and the situation. The video stresses the importance of making messages relevant to both the man-to-woman dynamic and the specific details of the match's profile.

💡Personalization

Personalization is the process of tailoring messages to the individual recipient, making them feel noticed and special. The script describes how to use specific details from a match's profile or their interaction with prompts to create personalized messages.

💡Copy and Paste

Copy and paste is a method of reusing text that has worked well in previous interactions. The video mentions this as a strategy for efficient messaging, especially when a certain type of message elicits positive responses from a particular demographic.

💡Compliment

A compliment in this context is a positive statement about the match's attributes or choices. The video suggests using compliments to build rapport and show appreciation for the match's profile content or prompt interactions.

💡Selector

A selector is a person who has the power to choose or decide, often used in dating to imply that one party is in a position of higher demand or has more options. The script implies positioning oneself as the selector to convey desirability and create interest.

Highlights

The importance of the first message in online dating and its impact on the potential for dates.

A simple method for crafting effective first messages that consistently work well.

The strategy of reviewing a match's profile to find unique points for personalized messages.

Using stock messages that have proven successful with certain demographics.

The preference for shorter messages that convey the intended message concisely.

Commenting on prompts rather than photos for a more genuine interaction.

An example of a successful message that leverages shared entrepreneurial spirit.

The concept of 'cheat codes' in online dating, using prompts to streamline responses.

The effectiveness of responding to prompts with messages that have been tested and refined.

An example illustrating how to compliment and qualify a match based on their profile choices.

The use of humor and light-heartedness to establish rapport and stand out in messaging.

The strategy of conveying oneself as the prize and selector in the dating process.

An example of personalizing a message by referencing a unique profile picture.

The power of a good message to elicit a positive response and initiate a conversation.

The importance of relevance in messaging, ensuring the message pertains to both parties on the dating site.

The common threads in successful messages: being light, short, funny, and personal.

A final example demonstrating the difference between a good and a great message based on profile uniqueness.

Encouragement to apply these lessons to improve online dating messaging results.

Transcripts

ah the first text in online dating where

dreams are made or broken where that hot

girl that matched with you is either

going to never text you again or

suddenly be propelled dramatically

forward towards going on a date with you

yes it really is that important and in

this video I'm going to teach you

exactly how to write good first messages

that are going to get you tons more

dates most guys royally screw up their

first messages and online dating and

that's because it's a very easy thing to

screw up and in fact maybe I should do a

video about that at some point points

but this is not that video in this video

I'm going to show you a very simple

method to always come up with pretty

damn good first messages that going to

work incredibly well on a consistent

basis and beyond that I'm going to show

you my own first messages following this

format so let's look at that right now

so very quickly before I get into the

specific messaging examples I want to

give you an overview of my general

messaging strategy when I first match

with a girl and I want to message her

the first thing I do is I scroll through

her profile and I'm looking for anything

unusual that I can comments on and

especially tease on if I can find that

that's what I'll use if not I'll use

something stock I.E something I've

written before and this may be a pure

copy and paste but more often it's

something that is related to the type of

girl she is or related to the category

of girl that I've seen work before so I

may have one type of message for sporty

athletic girls and another one for girls

who seem like kind of outgoing

socializes who go out to clubs often I

may have another one for girls who seem

like they're first generation immigrants

from South America right it can get very

specific but you don't have to reinvent

the will every time once you have a

particular message that works with that

demographic you can keep sending it to

that demographic two final quick tips

generally shorter is better if you can

say what you're saying in fewer words

it's better than saying it in many words

and also generally when you're going to

comment on something it's better to

comment on a prompt than it is to

comment on a photo because it seems more

genuine and less superficial it's a

general rule there are exceptions but in

general prompts are better to comment on

than photos so now let's look at a few

messages I sent that led to successful

interactions so in this first first case

I'm commenting on her prompt and her

prompt says fact about me that surprises

people that I've always had my own

businesses now from this I can tell a

little bit about her blueprint I can

probably tell she's entrepreneurial

ambitious probably fairly successful

that kind of stuff she didn't say say

business she said businesses Etc right

so she probably wants an ambitious guy

as well so I'm going to convey that also

I happen to be an entrepreneur myself so

I have that similarity what I don't want

to do though is act like I'm like oh my

God I'm so much like you we have such a

connection I want to be a little

irreverent I want to be a little bit

cocky a little bit funny in my response

so what I messaged was

this same I also have never had a boss

and I'm bad at taking orders winky face

so I couch me being successful in

business and running my own business I

say we're relatable in that way but I'm

actually saying the negative Parts I've

never had a boss and I'm bad at taking

orders I.E I'm a little bit unruly a

little bit undisciplined which also it

sounds like a negative in terms of

dating me as in like I'm not a well

behaved boyfriends but actually girls in

terms of Attraction don't want a well-

behaved boyfriend so I'm I'm framing a

thing that's actually attractive about

me as a negative to try and be sort of

like fake humble about it so she

responds hi the name I was using on this

profile a nice although not good at

taking orders we have two bosses here

she has some emojis and then I like your

profile too what business do you do X so

clearly a very positive response that

gets things off to the right start and

if you scroll down in the conversation

you see it ended with Saturday sounds

good what's your number or Whatsapp that

might be an easier way to figure out

details and she says Hey Okay Fab and

sends her number so things are going

very very nicely for the next two

examples I'm going to show I want to

introduce another little cheat code for

online dating which is this not only

does the girl have prompts but you have

prompts also and you know what your

prompts are that means that when the

girl messages you first you're going to

get certain responses over and over

again or you're going to get certain

prompts liked in fact a lot of times the

girls don't even write messages to you

they just like a particular prompt which

means that every single girl who's

liking that prompt is sending you

essentially the same message over and

over and over again therefore once

you've responded to it once you can copy

and paste that same message over and

over again so for each prompt you should

be prepared with a good message for when

they like that prompt now at first when

you create a profile you may not have

that yet but once you've seen that a

couple times and you've written

something that worked a few times you

now know it works you can copy and paste

and repeat that same basic answer to

each and every girl and it makes things

very very easy so the prompt she liked

in this case was you should not go out

with me if you're looking for a nice

safe accountant your parents would

approve of so when she likes this prompt

she's not only saying something about me

she's saying something about herself she

chose to like a guy who's not safe and

not boring so from this I can imply

she's maybe those same traits and this

leads the conversation in a lot of good

ways I can compliment her on that I can

qualify her on that and I can lead the

conversation towards one where we're

about being fun adventurous and taking

risks and you know one very fun risk

going on a date with a stranger so it's

a great direction to push the

conversation so with all that in mind my

response was if I can take that as an

indicator that you're also not boring

then I think there's a decent chance we

might get along fingers crossed and as

you can see she harded that and then she

responded I want to hear more about the

cash pick which is another picture of my

profile so she continued the

conversation and so then if we Zoom to

the bottom of the conversation say

definitely so her name what's your view

on drinks and Woody banter between

attractive new friends she says always

into that I say sounds good my number is

this what's yours and she sends her

number so again we have the number we

have tentative plans things are moving

in a really positive direction for the

next example again we have a girl who's

liked one of my prompts and again when

girls like this prompt they get a

similar response because they're

indicating something about themselves in

this case The Prompt she liked was

something that's non-negotiable for me

is integrity I can't be true to someone

who isn't true to her own values so if

she likes that she's saying maybe she's

someone with a little more depth someone

with a little more Integrity herself

someone who wants a little more

connection so I can be a little bit more

genuine but I still want to keep it

light I still want to keep it fun and

funny so here's what I wrote thanks her

name you don't seem so bad yourself and

by the way this is a great thing when a

girl gives you a compliment or even even

likes one of your prompts thanks you're

not so bad yourself great way to start

one of these and say if you have

character and also are a bit of a

character I think we might just get

along fingers crossed love the fingers

crossed emoji and also as a quick note

this having character and being a

character thing that's not even

originally me I stole that from a TV

show or a movie that I watched years and

years and years ago and it's fine to

take lines from other people anyway this

is a great stock line and in response to

this message she liked it she goes o Hal

la la which is like I guess a laughing

sound allinone let's hopefully I am not

too much of both all right so that's a

good response and then if we Zoom

forward to the end of the conversation

and if we Zoom down to the end of the

conversation we can see I say I'm in

City this weekend back in other City

soon perhaps we should meet for a drink

and some Woody banter when I return she

goes that's lovely enjoy that City and

bring some nonchalant from there yes

let's do it I say sounds good my numbers

as what's yours and she responds with

her number so again we have the idea of

plans we have a number things are moving

very well for the fourth and final

example I want to show you the

difference between a good message and a

great message cuz again this girl liked

one of my prompts and it's the same one

a different girl that I've already

broken down the text from in this video

also liked however in this case there

was also something unique in the girl's

profile that was even better so instead

of using my stock response I used a

better one here's what we have so she

liked you should not go out with me if

you're looking for a nice safe account

your parents would approve of and she

actually added to the like safe is

boring which is an even bigger

compliment so I could have definitely

responded to this however in her profile

she had a picture where there was a fire

and she had a gas can it literally

looked like you know if you try and

misinterpret it it looked like she was

maybe pouring gas on the fire so I

thought that's much more interesting so

can I use that and I actually used that

and related it to the prompt answer so

my first message was says the girl

pictured pouring gasoline on a fire

winky face she really liked this message

she responded back touche wasn't really

pouring it it was just perfect camera

timing what makes you not nice and safe

which is great by the way a girl asking

what makes you not nice and safe she's

basically saying like tell me the

attractive things about you I've given

you full permission to brag and it won't

be try hard which is awesome if

we Zoom to the end of this conversation

we have a situation where I didn't even

actually ask for her number and she just

offers it up unsolicited so I said no I

find you surprisingly charming and

eccentric so far I thought you were

implying you were awkward and

apologizing for your cheesy joke LOL she

goes surprisingly what were you

anticipating she sends her number and

says number if you text more often then

you hinge because I hadn't been super

consistent with getting into her

messages quickly so she just offered up

her number and said let's continue this

forward without me even having to ask so

obviously again a very good result so

obviously all these messages worked but

they're four very different messages and

at the start again I did give him my

overall strategy my my step byep for

coming up with them but what do these

messages all have in common in terms of

the content well number one they're all

light they're not super serious they're

not super romantic they're also very

short so they're light short maybe a

little bit funny like maybe witty

sarcastic funny not like hilarious funny

but they're witty sarcastic that's

number one number two they are all

relevant to man to Woman They are all

about are you and I going to like each

other they acknowledge sort of tacitly

that we're on a dating site we're trying

to meet they're not beating around the

bush they're not small talk they're not

hey how was your day that kind of a

thing thirdly they are all about either

the girl's profile I.E some she put out

there or about her choice of my prompt

so they are all not just relevant to a

man- tooman context but they are

personal to the girl they are not

General even if they are copy and paste

they're copy and paste about something

the girl personally did so every time

the girl thinks this is actually about

me this is personal to me and finally in

all four cases they convey me in a

positive frame they convey me as the

prize they convey me as the person being

complimented me as the person being the

selector and deciding whether I like her

these are common threads in all of these

messages that you should have in your

messages as well so I hope you enjoyed

those messages and the lessons from them

by the way I do want to mention if you

enjoy that and you want to see the full

text conversations I did just add all

these full texts with breakdowns of why

I sent each individual text inside my

course online dating Academy so you can

check it out there as well with that

said take these lessons use them get

better results and I'll see you on the

next video take care