How to Stop Being Awkward Around Girls
Summary
TLDRThe video script offers practical advice for men on how to avoid awkwardness when interacting with women. It covers seven key points, including the importance of being present, maintaining calm energy, dressing well, avoiding signs of fear, using strategic first impressions, taking up space confidently, and the necessity of practice to improve social skills. The speaker emphasizes the need to observe and appreciate the person you're talking to, slow down the pace of conversation, and be mindful of body language and appearance to create a comfortable and engaging interaction.
Takeaways
- 😣 Overthinking can lead to awkwardness in social interactions; being present and observing the other person can help overcome this.
- 😌 Maintaining a calm demeanor and relaxed energy is crucial for avoiding awkwardness and creating a comfortable atmosphere.
- 👕 The way you dress can influence first impressions; it's important to dress in a way that reflects confidence and style.
- 😨 Physical cues of nervousness, like lip biting or darting eyes, can make others feel uncomfortable; awareness and conscious effort can help manage these behaviors.
- 😊 Holding eye contact and having a slight smirk can communicate confidence and interest, which are key to successful flirting.
- 🤝 First impressions are vital and can be influenced by factors like clothing, posture, and handshakes; it's important to make a strong initial impact.
- 🕒 Strategically managing the first 60 seconds of an interaction can set the tone for the rest of the conversation, even if you're naturally introverted.
- 🛋️ Taking up space confidently through body language can project comfort and ease, which is attractive in social situations.
- 🤔 Regular practice and reflection on social interactions can improve social skills over time, much like any other skill.
- 👥 Being part of a community or tribe that shares similar goals can provide support, accountability, and opportunities for growth.
Q & A
What is the main issue the video aims to address?
-The video aims to address the issue of awkwardness when interacting with women and provides advice on how to overcome it.
What is the first piece of advice given to avoid awkwardness around women?
-The first piece of advice is to stop getting stuck in one's head and instead observe the woman visually, which helps to be present and express oneself naturally.
What does the video suggest as a method to prevent overthinking while talking to women?
-The video suggests observing something about the woman, either visually or based on her behavior, as a method to prevent overthinking.
What is the significance of the 'elevator picture' in the context of the video?
-The 'elevator picture' is an example of an awkward interaction that the video uses to illustrate the importance of calm and relaxed energy during conversations.
How does the video define 'smooth' in the context of interacting with women?
-In the context of the video, 'smooth' is defined as having calm, lower, and relaxed energy while conversing with women, which helps to avoid awkwardness.
What role does clothing play according to the video?
-According to the video, clothing plays a significant role in non-verbal communication and can signal certain traits about a person to others before any interaction takes place.
What is the video's stance on the importance of first impressions?
-The video emphasizes the importance of first impressions, stating that they can significantly influence how others perceive you and can persist despite later positive interactions.
What is the 'space game' mentioned in the video and why is it important?
-The 'space game' refers to the amount of physical space one takes up during an interaction, which is important because it can convey confidence and comfort.
How does the video suggest one should approach the initial moments of meeting someone new?
-The video suggests that one should bring their 'A-game' for the first 60 seconds of meeting someone new to make a strong, positive first impression.
What is the final advice given in the video for improving social skills around women?
-The final advice is to treat social skills as something that can be improved through deliberate practice, similar to developing any other skill.
What is Beast Nation and how does it relate to the video's content?
-Beast Nation is a community for men to work together on self-improvement, including a dating module and live calls for feedback, which relates to the video's focus on improving interactions with women.
Outlines
😅 Overcoming Awkwardness in Social Interactions
The speaker discusses the awkward moments he's experienced while interacting with women and introduces the topic of the video: seven behaviors to stop when around women to avoid awkwardness. He emphasizes the importance of being present and not getting stuck in one's head while conversing. The speaker shares a trick to observe women visually to prevent overthinking and to express oneself naturally, using a personal anecdote from Miami to illustrate the point.
👕 The Impact of Wardrobe on First Impressions
This paragraph focuses on how one's attire can influence the way others perceive them, especially in social settings involving women. The speaker suggests that clothing can signal personality traits and should be chosen carefully, like leveling up a character in a video game. He promotes his own clothing line, Edge Lifestyle, offering a discount to viewers and highlighting the importance of stylish yet masculine clothing to avoid being labeled as awkward or unattractive before even speaking.
😟 Addressing Fear and Anxiety in Conversations
The speaker addresses the fear and anxiety that can arise when talking to someone attractive or intimidating, which can lead to subconscious behaviors that signal discomfort. He advises being aware of these cues, such as lip-biting or darting eyes, and consciously deciding to stop them. The speaker also recommends adopting a relaxed demeanor, maintaining eye contact, and using a slight smirk as a flirting technique to convey confidence and interest.
🤝 The Power of First Impressions and Body Language
The paragraph delves into the significance of first impressions and how they are formed within seconds of meeting someone. The speaker discusses various studies that highlight factors influencing first impressions, such as clothing style and posture. He then shares his strategy as an introvert to make a strong first impression by being overly confident and composed for the first minute of a conversation. Additionally, he touches on the importance of taking up space with proper body language to appear and feel more comfortable.
💪 The Importance of Practice in Social Skills
The speaker emphasizes that social skills, like any other skill, require deliberate practice to improve. He dispels the myth that confidence is a prerequisite for social skills and instead encourages viewing social interactions as opportunities for growth. The speaker suggests reflecting on each interaction to identify strengths and areas for improvement, comparing it to the process of building physical strength or improving skills like video editing.
🔗 Building a Supportive Community for Growth
In the final paragraph, the speaker introduces Beast Nation, a community designed to help men improve various aspects of their lives, including dating skills. He outlines the benefits of joining the community, such as access to a dating module, weekly live calls for feedback, and a network of like-minded individuals for support and accountability. The speaker invites viewers to learn more and join the community to take their social skills to the next level.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡awkward encounters
💡self-doubt
💡non-verbal communication
💡eye contact
💡confidence
💡first impressions
💡strategic manipulation
💡practice
💡body language
💡social skills
Highlights
The importance of being present and not getting stuck in one's head while talking to women to avoid awkwardness.
A trick to overcome overthinking by observing something about the woman to stay present in the conversation.
The significance of calm and relaxed energy in conversations to prevent awkwardness and create a chill vibe.
How to use pauses and slower speech to project confidence and reduce nervous energy.
The impact of wardrobe on first impressions and the importance of dressing to signal confidence.
The psychological aspect of first impressions and how they can shape future interactions.
Strategic manipulation of initial interactions to create a positive first impression.
The concept of 'space game' and how taking up space can convey confidence and comfort.
The idea that social skills, like any other, require deliberate practice and continuous improvement.
The role of body language in conveying confidence, including maintaining eye contact and a slight smirk.
How to avoid subconscious signs of nervousness like lip biting and fidgeting during conversations.
The importance of observing and learning from each social interaction to improve future encounters.
The transformative power of treating social skills as a skill set that can be built over time.
The introduction of 'Beast Nation' as a community for men to improve their social and dating skills.
The benefits of having a support system and accountability in personal development, as offered by Beast Nation.
The concept that no one cares about you as much as you think, which can be liberating and empowering.
The realization that social interactions are not chaotic but can be controlled and improved with practice.
Transcripts
I've had some extremely awkward moments
with the women you from Boston are you
uh I mean I've been living here for a
year but you haven't learned the the
streets yet no not yet
okay one final question I promise one
final question what's your phone
number there you go that was painful to
watch I know but if you're watching this
video then I imagine you've also had
your fair share of awkward encounters
with women that not only feel awkward in
that moment but they kind of make us
question ourselves and make us feel like
we're never going to be able to get a a
top tier girl because we just make them
feel uncomfortable so what we're going
to do in this video is take a look at
seven things that you need to stop doing
immediately around women I can pretty
much guarantee you're doing at least
three or four of these things and once
you remove all of them which is actually
pretty easy once you're aware of it no
longer are you going to have that
awkward Energy number one cut off the
head so from my experience hardest part
about talking to women is that I'd
always get stuck in my head I'd be
second guessing the thing that I was
about to say because maybe she would
think I look like a loser if I say that
or maybe she's not going to find it
funny or maybe it's the wrong time to to
tell her I think she's cute and ask her
out and then you got all these thoughts
comp posibly eating up your brain and
you're unable to actually be present
with the women and just like naturally
express yourself so here's the little
trick I learned that allowed me to
finally get out of my head and and stay
the [ __ ] out yeah yeah yeah I saw your
like cheetah skirt thingy uh-huh I was
like oh this girl is cute oh okay so
that clip was from 2 weeks ago back when
I was in Miami approaching some women on
the street with Coach Kyle and before I
tell you do you know what it is he did
there he used the trick and the trick is
simply to observe the girl because when
you're observing the girl visually and
you pick out something about her like
the cheetah skirt thingy she was wearing
no longer can you get stuck in your head
you can't be in your head and observing
someone at the same time What do you do
tonight I'm just going at my friend's
house right now it's your night she
lives yeah she lives she Saturday past
the party stage P the party stage
honestly I can appreciate that I can
appreciate now this is the second way
that this can be done this was another
approach from that day in Miami and I
observed something about her but it
wasn't something visual I observed that
based on the fact on a Saturday night
she was going to hang out at her
friend's place ah it seems like this is
a chill girl who's passed the party
stage and again it prevented me from
getting stuck in my head and it came
across as this really intuitive flirting
when you're talking to girls stop
worrying about what you're going to say
next and just let yourself observe them
number two smooth is calm let's roll
another approach clip this one is is a
bit older I have to like I I have to
have like elevator picture did you have
for Halloween last night no no
no what now when I watch that it makes
me cringe a little bit and I'm not
saying that it was a complete failure
and I didn't do anything right at all
but it seemed awkward it probably seemed
awkward to you also and for sure that
means it seemed awkward to the girl
right it is frustrating because I
actually do think I did a lot of things
right there but I did this one critical
thing wrong let's compare it to another
conversation so you can see what I'm
talking about would you ever live
anywhere else New York really I don't
love New York I love New York you like
you're layback but you kind of like like
the hustle and bustle and you see with
that one and look I'm not saying I'm the
smoothest operator in the world I'm far
from it but that one felt just a lot
more confident I looked like a much
cooler guy there can you spot the one
critical thing that I did differently
ready here it is in the first clip the
awkward one I had relatively higher
energy levels I was speaking a bit
faster a bit louder even in the second
one the cooler one I had much more calm
lower relaxed energy and I know you
might be thinking no no [ __ ] Bro of
course you got to be relaxed when you're
talking to girls you can't be freaking
out but a lot of times we also think we
have to bring a high energy level and
what I'm saying what I've realized that
was the biggest game Cher for me is by
trying to be almost overly relaxed and
overly calm like you can't overdo it it
creates this really this really chill
Vibe when talking with the girl so I
like to slow my words down kind of like
this when she answers me I'm going to
let there be a pause for a second while
I'm just nodding along and then I'm
going to reply it's like instead of
jumping to the next thing to say I'm
fighting against that impulse even if I
feel a bit nervous inside and forcing
myself to slow down and low down that
energy level as much as possible bro
when you're operating like this it's
impossible for the girl to feel awkward
people only feel that awkward cringy
energy when you have too much energy
number three Mark Zuckerberg so if you
see this guy who happens to be Mark
Zuckerberg walking down the street and
you notice he's about to approach a girl
he's starting to talk to a girl what do
you think how do you think it's going to
go I can tell you for sure this version
of Mark
Zuckerberg it's going to be awkward bro
he's not going to be able to pull it off
like he's not a cool guy forget about
the billions he has for this example by
the way obviously that can help but if I
see this Mark Zuckerberg step steing
onto the street and walking up to a girl
my head's turning I'm thinking bro this
guy's about to drop some game and that
is because the outfit that you're
wearing signals certain things about who
you are to the world around you so if
you roll up looking like awkward Mark
doesn't matter how confident you are or
what you say she's already labeled you
as as kind of an awkward guy he he ain't
got it and that's why I would challenge
you to start looking at your wardrobe
the same way you look at leveling up
your character in a video game the same
way you want him to be wearing the dope
AR the looks cool it looks badass think
about your your style the same way
because the clothes you're wearing they
tell the story of who you are before
someone meets you you cannot be wearing
these clothes to make you look like an
older dude or or or a nerdy dude or or
the game's over before it's begun and
that is why I created Edge lifestyle so
guys could have a place to get simple
stylish Basics to give you that
masculine Edge without going too far and
looking like this fashion NOA tryhard
because you're watching the video I'll
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don't sleep on it number four looking
scared so um one one
second
uh uh yeah number four uh number four
when we're in a situation that's scary
to us like talking to a girl that
shouldn't be scary right because
logically we know the worst thing that
happened is rejection but we're in that
situation our base instincts take over
and we start expressing that discomfort
through Visual or physical cues like
biting our lips our eye contact darting
around moving quickly picking at your
fingernails and these things will make a
girl or a guy if you're talking to a guy
it will make them feel uncomfortable and
they'll make them think that you're very
awkward person and I know it's a lot
easier said than done it's difficult to
cut these things out because they're
subconscious like I would always kind of
pick up my lips that that was my thing
so first of all be aware you probably
already know and recognize which of
these Tendencies you have whenever you
catch yourself doing it make a conscious
decision to stop is also going to help
to have that overly relaxed Vibe even if
you're forcing it because when you're
talking more slowly and moving more
slowly it's naturally going to prevent
you from doing some of this [ __ ] and
third make it your intentional Focus to
do the following two things with your
body language when you're talking to a
girl number one is eye contact when
she's talking to you you should hold eye
contact the entire time and politely be
nodding along this shows her that you're
listening and eye contact also is a a
very subtle cue of confidence because
when we're not confident when we're
scared we struggle to hold that eye
contact and second while you're doing
this holding that eye contact and
nodding along also add a slight smirk to
your face not a big cheesy smile like
this that's awkward man but a slight
smirk like this this is the single
biggest flirting trick that I've ever
used cuz when I'm talking to a girl and
I'm doing that it immediately
communicates that I'm into you it
doesn't matter what I'm saying and it
also communicates that I'm comfortable
and I'm confident around you I'm not
scared seriously try this out the next
time you're talking to a girl if there's
one thing you take from this video make
it be this and then watch as the whole
vibe of the conversation changes number
five strategic manipulation you know
it's funny to me that I've been able to
meet these guys like a Wes Watson or a
Jay Waller and be able to sit down with
them like calmly like we're friends guys
like that would have intimidated me in
the past big time and this is how I pull
it off the same way that I'd pull off
talking to a 10 out of 10 girl like it's
nothing so I would never tell you to
manipulate
someone but this maybe qualifies a
little bit as manipulating someone so
look from psychology we know that first
impressions are literally everything
2009 study found that factors ranging
from clothing style to posture play a
significant role into how people make
their Impressions about you 2011 stud
found that a limp handshake can make you
appear overly passive the study's done
that show it takes about 7 seconds for
people to make their minds up about you
and the wild thing is another study
founds that first impressions will
prevail and persist no matter how many
new positive experiences someone has
with you later on so with all this in
mind I've made this strategic decision
in my life because I'm an introvert and
a lot of times people watch the videos
and they're like you're not a [ __ ]
introvert bro well when I make a YouTube
video of course I have to be talking the
whole time or there' be 12 minutes of
silence
that'd be real awkward but I am an
introvert and I do not enjoy meeting new
people and that is why I make the
Strategic move for that first minute
those first 60 seconds of the
conversation to bring my [ __ ] aame
because look if I was to meet you on the
street right now and you came up all
nervous and scared biting your nails and
looking at the ground it doesn't matter
if you got comfortable 5 or 10 minutes
later or I saw you next week and you
were super confident and strong I'm
still going to see you as like the
insecure weak guy which is kind of
depressing but it means that the reverse
is also true that if you were chit in
your pants but but you composed yourself
came up to me made strong eye contact
gave me a firm handshake and spoke
really confidently and calm for the
first 60 seconds even if 5 minutes later
you're nervous as [ __ ] I've already
decided in my mind Hey this is a cool
confident dude I like this guy and for
me this was a game changer because it
allowed me to take a lot of pressure off
of myself that I don't always always
have to be you know at the top of my
social game I just have to be at the top
of my social game when I first meet a
girl I can go in there you know get
everything right those first 60 seconds
talk to her very directly and 5 minutes
later if I say some simpy [ __ ] like oh
yeah like what's the uh you know what's
the weather going to be this weekend
it's looking good what are you going to
do this weekend well if I started week
she would look at that as this awkward
weak ass conversation but if I started
strong she' probably just be like oh
this guy's cool and I like him we're
just talking about the weather now
number six space game so another very
subtle part of non-verbal communication
is how much space do you take up it's a
very simple concept that a lot of guys
[ __ ] up because if I was sitting here
now talking to you and I was kind of
like you know like this taking up less
space we tend to like cross our arms and
cross our legs when we're a little bit
less comfortable you be like who you
going be who the [ __ ] is this guy what
YouTube video am I watching this guy's
scared as [ __ ] now I'm not saying to do
like one of these big like mans spreads
cuz if you're watching the video and I
was you know out here like this you'd
also be like what what's wrong with this
guy but you want to comfortably take up
more space when you're sitting it might
look like this and lean back as well
that adds to that relaxed Vibe and if
you're standing up it's the same thing
as well try not to be you know hunched
over with your feet close together your
hand in your pocket a little bit wider
stance you know shoulders back take
advantage of the environment around you
this is not only going to make you
appear more comfortable but it's
actually going to make you feel more
comfortable as well number seven Ai and
I'm not talking about artificial
intelligence but we talking about
practice man what are we talking about
practice not a game not a game not a
game we talking about practice yes sir
we're talking about practice and we're
talking about Alan Iverson AI not
artificial intelligence because here's
the thing social skills is the same as
any other skills but a lot of times we
look at it as like oh I just don't have
the confidence so I can't work on it bro
I didn't have the confidence most of my
life I told you I'm an I don't even like
doing this type of [ __ ] but I've learned
that it is a skill and like any other
skill it requires practice and that
doesn't mean just going out and spam
approaching 10 grills a day and
continuing to be awkward it means
deliberate practice each time you go out
and start some conversations with the
girl or go on a date afterwards think
for a moment what did I do well well you
know I I did hold good eye contact when
I went up to talk to her that was good
and what could I improve on well I do
think a minute into the convers ation I
I started to to to get too focused in my
head about what I had to say next no no
longer was I observing her like each
time you talk to a girl is a practice
opportunity it's an opportunity to grow
and to improve and to challenge yourself
and if you look at it that way you're
very quickly going to start to improve
versus if you just keep looking at it as
this chaotic part of your life that you
don't really have influence over what
you're going to stay awkward around
girls forever it's a conscious Choice
yes there's going to be emotions and
fear and awkwardness involved you have
to go through but if you treat it the
same as going to the gym and building up
that strength over time or making
YouTube videos and building up your
camera presence and your editing
abilities over time well then it's going
to start to predictably improve over
time until you're a regular OG and look
if this is something you've been
struggling with for a long time and it
feels like you're going at this alone
none of your friends are also working on
this skill and and it's just never going
to change well that is why I created
Beast Nation Beast nation is a tribe of
like-minded men who are working together
to level up in all areas of their life
not only is there a step-by-step dating
module to help you quickly master your
dating life you get weekly live calls
with myself to get my feedback on your
situation and you get access to the
Beast Nation tribe where you can quickly
find like-minded men in your city so you
can finally have that wingman to go out
with and hold you accountable you can
click the link below to learn more watch
some testimonials of real guys who are
part of Beast nation and join up now and
if you're serious about getting to that
next level then you need to watch this
video next it's about how I realized
that no one one cares about me and how
that completely changed my life and
allowed me to stop giving a [ __ ] what
other people thought about me cuz that
held me back for years click there to
watch that now and I'll talk to you in
the next video Stay beastly
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