How To Stop Being Awkward Around Women
Summary
TLDRThis guide offers practical advice for men seeking to overcome awkwardness around women. It emphasizes the importance of self-improvement, suggesting strategies such as abstaining from porn, engaging in more conversations with women to build confidence, and finding role models to emulate. The script also covers the significance of physical and mental relaxation techniques, like deep breathing and meditation, to reduce anxiety in social situations. Lastly, it underscores the impact of increasing one's status through personal achievements to naturally decrease nervousness and improve interactions with women.
Takeaways
- π Respect yourself for seeking educational content over clickbait videos, as it shows a good attention span and willingness to learn.
- π Confidence: The speaker's personal journey from awkwardness to confidence around women emphasizes the importance of self-improvement.
- π« Avoid porn and sexual content as it can lead to awkward and desperate behavior when interacting with women.
- π Implement the 'progressive deloading' method to quit porn, gradually reducing the frequency of watching over time.
- π‘ Replace women on the pedestal with other priorities such as personal goals, God, family, or work to naturally reduce awkwardness.
- π¬ Speak to more women to improve social skills and reduce nervousness, which is part of self-improvement and not just a distraction.
- π Copy the behaviors of men you admire to learn from their successful interactions with women, and adapt these behaviors to your own style.
- π§ββοΈ Physically relax before approaching women by taking a deep breath, which can significantly improve the quality of the interaction.
- π§ββοΈ Mentally relax through meditation and visualization to increase self-assurance and reduce nervousness when speaking to women.
- πΌ Level up as a man by focusing on self-improvement in various areas such as career, health, and social skills to naturally increase your status and decrease awkwardness around women.
Q & A
What is the main focus of the video guide?
-The main focus of the video guide is to help men stop being awkward around women and attract them by becoming more confident and showing their best selves.
Why should viewers respect the video creator for choosing this guide over other content?
-Viewers should respect the video creator because they chose an educational guide over short, clickbait videos, indicating a good attention span and a commitment to learning.
What was the creator's personal transformation story mentioned in the guide?
-The creator went from being extremely awkward around girls, to the point of jumping if they touched him, to feeling confident and comfortable around them.
What is the first step suggested in the guide to stop being awkward around women?
-The first step suggested is to stop watching porn or seeing any sexual content, as it can make men act in a 'hungry' or desperate way around women.
Why is it important to replace women from the pedestal according to the guide?
-Replacing women from the pedestal is important because it helps men to focus on other aspects of their lives such as goals, family, or faith, which can naturally make them less awkward around women.
What are some ways to replace women from the pedestal as suggested in the guide?
-The guide suggests focusing on personal goals, work, faith, or family as ways to replace women from the pedestal and reduce the feeling of neediness around them.
How does speaking to more women help in reducing awkwardness?
-Speaking to more women helps in reducing awkwardness by providing more experience and comfort in interacting with them, making it less significant and less needy.
What are some methods suggested in the guide to physically relax before speaking to a woman?
-The guide suggests taking a deep breath and focusing on feeling good inside rather than trying to mimic 'alpha male' body language.
How can meditation help in reducing mental tension when interacting with women?
-Meditation helps by training the mind to focus and return to a point of calm, such as the breath, which can lead to a more relaxed and present state when interacting with women.
What is the long-term strategy suggested in the guide to reduce awkwardness around women?
-The long-term strategy suggested is to level up as a man by improving oneself in various areas like career, health, and social skills, which naturally increases status and reduces nervousness around women.
How does the guide define 'status' in the context of interacting with women?
-In the context of the guide, 'status' refers to one's position in the social hierarchy, which can be improved through self-improvement and achievements, making one feel less awkward around women.
Outlines
π Embracing Self-Improvement and Overcoming Awkwardness
The speaker begins by appreciating the audience's choice to watch an educational guide over clickbait content, highlighting their good attention span. They share their personal journey from being extremely awkward around girls to gaining confidence. The story of an incident at the cinema where a girl accidentally touched the speaker's neck, causing him to jump, illustrates the level of awkwardness he experienced. The speaker emphasizes the importance of showing the best version of oneself to women and introduces a guide with seven steps to overcome awkwardness around women, promising to help viewers attract women by becoming more confident. The speaker, Hamza, introduces himself as someone who helps men improve to attract great women and encourages viewers to subscribe for more educational content.
π« The Negative Impact of Pornography and Sexual Content
This paragraph delves into the effects of watching porn and viewing sexual content on social media, explaining how it can lead to awkward and desperate behavior around women. The speaker suggests that abstaining from porn can help one feel more confident and attractive, as it prevents the negative self-image associated with frequent consumption of such content. They argue that the confidence boost from not watching porn can lead to a more natural and appealing demeanor. The speaker shares their personal method of 'progressively deloading' to quit porn, comparing it to gradually increasing weight in the gym, rather than the abrupt methods like NoFap, which they criticize for being counterproductive and causing unnecessary stress.
π§ The Confusion Caused by Viewing Provocative Content
The speaker discusses the impact of viewing provocative content posted by women on social media, explaining how it can create false expectations and awkwardness in real-life interactions. They describe the primal reaction of the brain to such content, which can lead to misunderstandings and inappropriate behavior when interacting with the women in person. The advice is to avoid following accounts that post sexual content and to unfollow those who do, as it helps in maintaining a healthy mindset and approach towards relationships, thus reducing awkwardness.
π Replacing Women from the Pedestal with Personal Goals
The speaker addresses the issue of putting women on a pedestal due to a lack of fulfilling activities in one's life. They suggest that by focusing on personal goals, work, faith, or family, one can naturally reduce the awkwardness around women. The emphasis is on finding purpose and being passionate about something other than dating, which in turn makes a person more attractive. Questions are provided to help identify one's true interests and potential life purpose, which can serve as a healthier focus than being overly preoccupied with women.
π€ The Importance of Interacting with Women for Self-Improvement
The speaker encourages having more conversations with women as a form of self-improvement, contrary to the advice of some who suggest focusing solely on wealth or other achievements. They argue that being able to interact comfortably with women is a valuable skill and part of personal development. The speaker dismisses the idea of ignoring women until one is 'successful,' highlighting that social interaction is a critical aspect of life that should not be neglected.
π Learning from Others by Copying Successful Behavior
The speaker advocates copying the behaviors of men who are successful with women as a fast track to improving one's own skills. They share personal experiences of emulating the mannerisms and behaviors of two individuals who influenced them positively. The speaker emphasizes that copying is not about being inauthentic but rather about learning and adapting successful strategies to one's own style, which can lead to quicker progress in becoming more confident and appealing.
π§ββοΈ Techniques for Physical and Mental Relaxation
The speaker shares tips for physical relaxation, starting with the simple yet powerful act of taking a deep breath to reduce nervousness and improve presence in interactions with women. They also discuss the ineffectiveness of trying to adopt 'alpha male' body language without genuine confidence. For mental relaxation, they recommend meditation as a means to strengthen attention span and improve focus, as well as visualization techniques to imagine positive outcomes before approaching women.
π Long-Term Self-Improvement for Status and Confidence
The final paragraph focuses on the long-term benefits of self-improvement for increasing one's status and reducing awkwardness around women. The speaker suggests that as one's achievements and social standing improve, the nervousness and awkwardness around women will naturally decrease. They propose setting and working towards goals in various aspects of life, such as career, health, and social skills, to elevate one's status and become less needy and more confident in interactions with women.
π― Conclusion and Call to Action for Continued Learning
In conclusion, the speaker reiterates the seven strategies covered in the guide to destroy awkwardness around women and encourages viewers to continue their learning journey by watching additional content provided in the description. They emphasize the importance of doing the hard work even when it's challenging, highlighting the comprehensive nature of the guide and its potential impact on the viewer's ability to attract women.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Awkwardness
π‘Self-improvement
π‘Confidence
π‘Social hierarchy
π‘Role model
π‘Meditation
π‘Deep breath
π‘Pedestal
π‘Mentorship
π‘Authenticity
π‘Nervousness
Highlights
Respect yourself for choosing an educational guide over clickbait videos.
The speaker went from being extremely awkward around girls to feeling confident.
Awkwardness and nervousness prevent you from showing your best self to women.
The speaker promises to teach how to stop being awkward around women to attract them.
Avoid watching porn or seeing any sexual content to prevent acting in a 'hungry' way around women.
Progressively deloading, rather than going cold turkey, is a more effective method to stop watching porn.
Avoid following women who post provocative content on social media to prevent awkwardness.
Replacing women on the pedestal with other priorities like goals, God, or family can reduce awkwardness.
Speak to more women to improve social skills and reduce awkwardness.
Copying the mannerisms of men who are successful with women can improve your own success.
Physically relaxing by taking a deep breath can significantly improve interactions with women.
Mentally relaxing through meditation and visualization can help in approaching women.
Reframing nervousness as excitement can help in reducing awkwardness.
Leveling up as a man through self-improvement increases status and reduces awkwardness around women.
Increasing your status through achievements can make you less awkward even around beautiful women.
The speaker provides a link in the description for further guidance on attracting women in 2024.
Transcripts
how to stop being awkward around women
let's go through this full guide
together first of all respect to you
because you chose to click on this
educational guide instead of all of the
short clickbait videos out there so you
have my respect for that because you've
got a very good attention span and that
means you'll definitely watch all of
this video without scrolling down to the
comments and you'll drive up the YouTube
algorithm for me won't
you why should you listen to me on this
topic well I went from being so awkward
around girls that i' jump if they
touched me to now feeling pretty
confident and that's a true story around
this point when I was maybe 15 years old
I was around 15 16 even though I still
look like a boy I went out with some
friends uh with from my high school and
we were stood outside of this Cinema
like we weren't like out out you know
like drinking or anything but we were
just kind of like stood outside of the
cinema and it was like three of my male
friends and they had invited like three
females like uh female friends of theirs
to come and we stood around and this one
girl next to me she touches my neck
because I had jewelry like this on and
basically it was like it was kind of
like how this has happened here where
see this thing this is like quite low
down usually you want to have your
jewelry with that little back Clipper
thing is like at the back so she tries
to grab it and and like fix it for me
but she accidentally like touches my
neck slightly and I jump and I was like
oh and she was like oh sorry I was just
trying to fix your your chain and I said
like for some reason I said to her like
no don't because I I don't I hate being
touched and one of the things you should
know about me especially if you're an
attractive woman is my love language is
touched so send me a DM by the way if
you are an attractive woman but
basically I actually like being touched
that's like how I feel love and I give
love but I was so awkward that I
randomly even said a weird lie and I
literally jumped when a girl was
touching me to now I feel pretty
confident around girls and so I want to
get you to this point so this is the
promise for this guide that we're going
through today I'll teach you how to
being stop being awkward around women so
that you can actually attract them
because it's not a good experience being
awkward and shy and nervous around women
because you just don't really show the
best version of you which is a really
good point to make like there's a better
version of you that maybe no woman has
ever seen just yet because you've been
super nervous with them and so if we
just tackle this one problem we'll get
you to the next stage of your like
dating life where you'll be able to show
more of the real confident version of
you so my quick introduction my name is
Hamza and I help men improve themselves
so they can attract a great woman
subscribe right now if you're interested
in that I've noticed that uh videos
sometimes won't be shown to you unless
you actually subscribe so make sure you
go and subscribe and you'll be more
likely to see videos like this on your
homepage which is you know full of
Education instead of all the clickbait
and all the [Β __Β ] stupid thumbnails
and all that you've just got like an
educational guide so make sure you go
subscribe right now so there's seven
things we're going to cover today seven
things you can do to destroy awkwardness
around women number one don't watch porn
or see any sexual content of her that's
an important extra part there many guys
already know not to watch porn but a lot
of women post like softcore porn on
social media these days a lot of women
post like Pro provocative pictures and
and reals and stories and stuff of them
and that can actually [Β __Β ] you up as
well so we'll cover that we'll cover
replacing not just getting them off the
pedestal but replacing them off the
pedestal you've probably heard like you
know it's a problem with guys we put
women on the pedestal and that makes it
so that they can only look down upon us
well not many people say that we it's
not about taking women off the pedestal
it's about replacing them and putting
something else on the pedestal and I'll
talk about like the things we can put
there like God family and our work our
goals the third thing we'll talk about
is speaking to more women because this
is your self-improvement there's so many
little no offense of them like you know
little losers who get onto
self-improvement they watch videos like
this and they're in this like Sigma male
grind where they're like yeah I don't
care about speaking to girls when
truthfully that is a part of your
development as a man and you shouldn't
Overlook that so I'll tell you like in
weird specific steps on how to speak to
more women then the fourth point you can
do is copy sexy men so I'll show you the
two guys that I personally copied and
imitated to get better with girls we'll
go over physically relaxing so what's
something you can do in 5 seconds to
make you better with girls as long as
you remember to do it we'll go over
mentally relaxing what's something you
can do every single day to make you
better with girls when you go and
approach them and finally we'll go over
leveling up as a man increasing your
status so that you get more respect from
other men and you get more attraction
from women this will take you way longer
but it's like a very it's like life as a
man is just about leveling up and so
we'll cover this as well for firstly
there's a link in the the top of the
description if you just want to go have
a look it it'll stand out more than
normal that's a guide on everything you
need to get girls in 2024 and I really
think you'll like that so you can click
and open that link right now or just
remember this and then watch it after
you finish watching this video here so
there's seven things you can do to
destroy awkwardness around women and
we're going to go over this first one
which is don't watch porn or see any
sexual content of her watching porn will
make you act in a weird hungry way when
you're with her you probably know this
right if you're someone who consistently
watches porn and you've never had a time
where you haven't watched porn then
you've probably never seen the version
of you that isn't like this sort of like
hungry like desperate guy but if you've
had periods where you haven't watched
porn you probably will know that like
you come across in way more of just a
normal human being kind of way so if you
just can trust me on this if you've
never had that before when you haven't
seen or watched any porn for months you
just act way more normal and attractive
around women
and the reason why is probably because
you stop feeling like a beta male loser
there's people online who say like oh
yeah women can smell the retention on
you they can smell if you haven't
ejaculated I don't really think so I
don't believe anything's like that
serious I just think that when you watch
porn you don't feel good about yourself
then when you go and trying to speak to
a girl since you don't feel good about
yourself you come across in a worse way
and so when you sop watching porn not
only does it like you know stop frying
your dopamine receptors and everything
it's also like an accomplish ment in the
modern day it's like a right of passage
and so suddenly you feel more confident
and happy about yourself it's a good
accomplishment to go through and so the
next time you go speak to a girl when
it's been weeks since you've watched
porn you'll feel like you're on this
upward Trend this momentum and you'll
naturally speak to her in a more
confident attractive way when you like
yourself more because you've had this
accomplishment of not watching porn so
how do you stop watching porn there's
different uh methods the one that worked
for me personally was progressively Del
loading so I tried everything I tried
the easy peasy method I tried like no
fap and everything all of that just felt
like in my opinion like the loser method
and so this is the method of basically
the bodybuilder which is that if we go
to the
gym trying to stop watching porn is kind
of like trying to hit a PR in the gym
like hitting 100 kg bench press and so
many guys will try and do like the loser
noof fap streak [Β __Β ] where they're
trying to get to like day 90 or they're
trying to quit porn or anything think
and they'll get to like you know 2 days
and then they'll relapse two days then
they'll relapse and they'll be like oh
man why do I keep relapsing why can't I
just get to day 90 that's like a little
skinny kid coming into the gym and
saying like why can't I just bench press
100 kg but it's like yeah well you're
not really supposed to right now because
you know you're kind of weak and so if
you start with 20 kg the Mt barbell and
you start increasing it over time over
time over time eventually you'll get
there and so with porn it's kind of like
the exact opposite with porn and
masturbation instead of thinking that
you can just randomly go to zero the m
you heard about nofap which is what most
young guys assume and then get so upset
that they can't quit think to yourself
wait I should just progressively deload
so if for example you fap like once per
day so on average like 30 days a month
make it like 27 days this month then
make it 24 then make it 21 and then
within like 7 months you basically quit
forever and it's not sexy because I
literally just told you yeah it'll take
7 months to destroy this addiction but I
see so many guys struggle with this
because they just trying to get to like
like uh the streak and to fap and watch
Pawn zero times immediately and it's
just like it's too heavy it's like it's
being in the gym and this there's just
weight that's just too heavy and it
starts getting like weirdly like
obsessive and sad and makes you neurotic
like imagine if I commanded you that the
next time you go to the gym you have to
bench press a weight that's too heavy
for you imagine if I commanded you to do
that you'd get weirdly anxious wouldn't
you you'd be like so like uncertain
about yourself that's how guys who are
on nofap start to act and I don't think
noof fap does people like good honestly
like it should you fap no should you
watch porn no should you go on to nofap
like the actual sort of culture of noof
FAP [Β __Β ] no I think it's horrible for
you so I think progressively D loading
counting on average how many times you
fap like you know just guessing and then
reducing it by like 20% every single
month month on month within like 3 to 5
months you're at a point where you like
you may be fap like twice a month which
is honestly fine you don't need to be
like one of these guys who online who
are telling you like to get to like day
90 or some [Β __Β ] as an older guy I'm
telling you right now a lot of what's
spoken about in the nofap uh YouTube
space it is a lot of it is [Β __Β ] they
say it so extreme because it makes you
more emotional so you're more likely to
continue watching their videos they
don't make videos to help you they make
videos to get views so just be careful
cuz it it's quite dark like the nofap
industry they're uh they're not as nice
as they'd like to make themselves seem
so progressively D Lo is how you stop
watching por don't look at her sexual
content on her Instagram and if maybe if
you're a little bit younger she's got
like U Snapchat or Tik Tok or something
lots of girls post provocative like
sexual content and if you look at it
something weird will happen if you
imagine there's a girl you like in
school or in work and she's posting like
thirst straps on Instagram your Primal
caveman brain will get all weird because
it's kind of like she's presented
herself for you to [Β __Β ] when you think
about it when you see a girl who like
shaking her ass and showing her titties
and everything on social media it's like
your brain your Primal brain will
believe that she's like you're about to
[Β __Β ] her that's why your dick will get
harder when you see this kind of content
because your Primal brain will literally
think oh okay she wants me to [Β __Β ] her
so I'll
[Β __Β ] but that's not what she's
actually done she's just made digital
content not really for you but for you
know the mass of Sims who will watch
this then when you speak to her in real
life you'll try too hard and you'll come
across in this weird way to her because
you've like progressed the relationship
more than she has do you see like she's
made content for everyone but your brain
has seen this content and started to
think okay I'm at the point of you know
like this relationship where I can see
her sexual and I can get close to
[Β __Β ] her when you then go and speak
to her in person you're not actually at
that point of the relationship she just
made Mass content for everyone but
you're like you'll find it harder to not
be awkward when you've seen that kind of
content of a girl and you fantasized
about her cuz it's like you've kind of
like set this expectation for where you
guys are in the relationship and where
is she's still down here she just made a
little thirst trap little um Instagram
real where she's shaking her ass or
something but you your brain has
believed like oh yeah we are getting
sexual and so that makes you more
Awkward because suddenly you'll go up to
her and your brain and your body will
will almost expect a certain level of
connection that she's not showing and so
you'll seem like you're kind of like
trying too hard pushing too much so the
general rule is like just don't [Β __Β ]
see any sexual Conta online like whether
it's porn of of other people or it's off
her as well and this also includes like
honestly nudes as well which I know many
young guys are obsessed with I I don't
know what it is about young guys they
just [Β __Β ] love [Β __Β ] like nudes and
porn and stuff I swear once you like
start a business and you get to like 22
23 years old a lot of This falls off you
can still be like a 23y old loser but at
that point I'm really hoping that you've
started to make some progress in life
but if you haven't then obviously that's
what these guides are for but like by
the time I got to like 23 24 years old
this stuff just didn't interest me
anymore like I wanted to be the guy who
is deep throat in this girl not the guy
who was like jacking his little dick off
it's not little like not the guy who was
jacking his massive dick off whil it's
like she's trying you know she's sending
me some pictures or I'm watching
Instagram posts or something of her like
I just didn't want to be the [Β __Β ]
loser and so I decided like I vowed when
I was like 19 years old to not be like a
masturbator wanker anymore and maybe if
you're however old you are you should
probably make that vow for yourself as
well so how do you stop viewing sexual
content of her if she posts that kind of
stuff honestly just don't follow girls
who post thirst traps like there's no
benefit for you to do that you might
think like oh well you know I might get
into a relationship with her you
probably don't want to get into a
relationship with a girl who posts the
thirst traps and you might think like a
well I might [Β __Β ] her well yeah so do
like the 500 guys a thousand guys who
follow her right now anyway and so she's
stringing you all along and all of you
think eventually you'll end up [Β __Β ]
her it's like you're all little donkeys
and she's got the carrot on a stick and
what's interesting is she's getting like
[Β __Β ] pounded by the guy who doesn't
even follow her this all the all like
the real [Β __Β ] G's knows this the girl
who's posting the first traps the guy
who she's obsessed with usually doesn't
even follow her back that's like the the
real thing so if you're the guy who's
following her you've shown what like
Dynamic you're getting into which is
basically that you're the simpy guy
who's trying to get her attention and
you're sure going to stand out amongst
the 10,000 guys who follow her or even
more so just don't follow those girls
because it's not good for you it's not
even good for them so why even [Β __Β ]
get involved with this [Β __Β ] it and take
the social L because if this is for
example a girl you work with or a girl
in your school take the social L to stop
your addiction who gives a [Β __Β ] if she
asks like why did you follow me think of
something to say and just [Β __Β ] say it
and if anything when she asks something
like this if you know she's someone you
know from like school or something
honestly she'll be kind of more into you
when she asks you a question like this
because you'll stand out all the other
guys are like you know harassing her
following her writing messages and stuff
replying to her stories you're the one
guy where she's seeing wait why did he
unfollow me and that's you're sticking
in her brain a lot more than the 17
Indian guys who are saying like hey baby
like I love you like just sending her a
message I love you so we've covered the
first one stop watching porn don't see
any sexual content of her and you'll
feel less awkward around women the next
one is replacing them from the pedestal
so we hear about this a lot in like the
men's space but I don't think a lot of
influencers discuss it really well
lonely men put women on the pedestal
because they have nothing else
interesting in their lives and I want
you to be honest right now does this
look like your life you wake up you get
ready you like go to work school
whatever you like stay on your computer
your devices maybe you go to the gym and
then you go back on your computer or
your phone or something then you go to
sleep most guys this is what their life
looks like and it's no wonder You' put a
woman on the pedestal because she's the
most interesting thing that's happening
in your life but it's also no wonder
that she's not into you because she
wants to date the kind of guy who's not
got this boring ass [Β __Β ] life that
every other guy has this life isn't
special right it's fun like you know
like I this is what my life looks like
these days when I'm on my monk mode
period and I'm just [Β __Β ] waking up
and I'm grinding but it's like I do it
with a smile on my face cuz this is what
I want to do most guys do it with like
this depressed feeling of like you know
that you're in school or work or
something so it's kind of like if it's
by choice and you love this life then by
all means it's fine but most guys aren't
very like very happy this way and most
girls don't really want to date a guy
who's doing this like low-key
unsuccessful life where he's working
some [Β __Β ] job or he's just in school or
something and then the only fun thing
you do is go to the gym most girls would
prefer to date a guy who's living a fun
life because they want to enter the fun
they don't want to be the most fun thing
in your life so you put something else
on the pedestal like your goals or God
or family and naturally you'll stop
being awkward around women because
they'll be pushed off the pedestrial
when you really care about your work and
your goals you stop putting women on the
pedestal because you literally care less
about dating and sex than your purpose
so if you really really care about like
some goal that you've set like you know
making money in your business or
self-improvement or you've recently
gotten more into your faith and you've
become Muslim more Christian and you put
that on the pedestal naturally you'll be
less awkward around girls because you'll
have less of that neediness of you know
worshiping them like most guys do most
guys are really bad with women just
because this is the life they live and
so when they have a girl who's finally
replying back to them on text it's like
the most interesting exciting novelty
thing that they've got so far when
you've got like for example a successful
business or you've got like a family or
you've got like some goal that means a
lot to you suddenly it's like you have
less bandwidth to really care about
girls and in a weird way that makes you
more attractive to them because they
want to join a fun life they don't want
to be the focus of your life they don't
want to be like number one in your life
so go ahead and try and find some like
goals or some work that you really care
about how do you find the thing to
replace women from the pedestal well
here's a few questions you could journal
or you could just answer in like the
comments below or just think about ask
yourself what work you'd do for free if
you were already a billionaire this is a
question that will find your purpose and
the kind of impact you want to have on
the world what kind of work task would
you do for free if you were already a
billionaire like what kind of impact
would you want to have on the world
another question you can ask is what
would you do if you knew you were going
to fail not if you couldn't fail this is
a really specifically worded question
what would you do if you knew you were
going to fail 100% chance you're going
to fail cuz then if you knew you were
going to fail you'd be optimizing for
the enjoyment right A lot of people will
do something they don't enjoy for the
hope that it pays off
but this question will help you find the
thing that you actually want to do right
now because if you're going to fail
either way you may as well obviously go
and do the more fun thing so this
question actually means a lot to me cuz
that's how I've been able to like refine
and understand more about myself and I
really like teaching and learning I
really like body building so I do the
things that even if I was going to fail
I've enjoyed them along the way so I
hope that both of these questions can
help you like try and find some
direction in life let's say you get some
ideas and you're like you know what like
the work I'd do is like I'd go in like I
really love dogs and even if I was a
billionaire I'd go and like work in like
a dog shelter because it'd be so cool to
like every day wake up and you know
rescue some dog and and clean them up
and everything or maybe for you it's
like oh I want to educate the world I
really think health is important so I
want to go and be like a student of
health and go learn all the latest
research and then go and spread that in
Easy digestible ways so that people
around the world can improve their
health that's the kind of work that you
like you you know would want to be
putting on the pedestrial and naturally
when you find that hard work you'll just
have less bandwidth to like give a [Β __Β ]
about girls in a really good way because
now you'll have something else that
you're focused on so let's say you found
something that you think okay that could
probably be my thing you don't need to
be 100% many guys aren't but let's say
you found something that could be like
for example your business then you
discipline yourself to start to
sacrifice and align as much of your life
as possible to this work so whatever
work you've thought of here the the goal
of manhood like a lot of fulfillments
for most men seems to come when you
really sacrifice a lot and you align as
much of possible of your life to that
work that means a lot to you so you
might find that this might be the most
fulfilling life that you've had so this
is my monk mode lifestyle that I'm in
right now where I'm getting the most out
of myself for my work and I'm really
enjoying my life like for example I eat
a very simple diet I'm not really
spending that much time with friends or
with family or with girls I wake up and
I just work on videos like this where
I'm trying to educate men on you know
the some of the lessons that I've
learned in life and I wake up at like
4:00 a.m. I go to sleep at like 7:00
p.m. for many people that'd be a
horrible depressing awful life for me I
genuinely really enjoy it because the
most fulfilling part of it is I notice
myself like reaching closer and closer
to my potential in terms of my work like
when I noticed that oh [Β __Β ] I've had a
really good day where I've gotten a lot
done and I impress myself I feel so like
proud of it cuz I'm like wow like this
is such a good experience like this is
the hardest I've ever worked in my life
and I'm not going to continue this
forever obviously there'll be time when
I'm like 30 35 40 years old and you know
I won't have the energy for this I'll
have different priorities but I'll
always remember that like I pushed
almost as hard as I possibly could do in
terms of how hard I could work and
that'll be like a season of my life that
I'll always remember and during this
season naturally women are not going to
be high up on the pedestral because I've
put other things as the priority so
first you start with finding like some
kind of purpose some mission that means
a lot to you and then you just try and
grind for it as hard as possible and
when you do that naturally you'll
realize that you care less about women
and when you care less about women
you're often more attractive cuz you
just are less awkward and you're
overthinking a lot less as well so we've
covered the second thing replace them
off the pedestal this is the interesting
one speak to more women this is
self-improvement so many guys will
disagree with this and they'll say like
no don't think about girls just make
money just make money but truthfully I
really do think a lot of growth will
come if you actually just get into more
conversations with girls especially if
this is in an area you want to improve
in like if you clicked on this video
most likely you wanted to actually
attract more girls so this is actually a
goal of yours so honor that get into as
many conversations with women as you can
like I'm on this monk mode period where
I'm just focused on work but when I'm
out in public I'm still going to go in
like cold approach and speak to girls
because I just think it's really good
for you as a man to be integrated into
society and be able to like speak to the
common like you know to the the person
next to you the person who's like a part
of your community so don't overlook this
in this mode of like oh but I'm not
ready I don't care about girls because
you'll get ready and you'll start caring
more when you actually are good at this
so get into the flow of like just going
to speak to more girls this will develop
you more than like 10 workouts or making
more money because a lot of the things
that you do most likely is kind of like
in your comfort zone like it's not that
hard to go to the gym anymore is it it's
like it might have been months ago but
I'm assuming you're the kind of guy
who's been going to the gym for a while
that it's kind of like fun so it's like
that's going to the gym is in your
comfort zone going to cold approach a
girl or going getting into more
conversations with girls that's the
thing that's out of your comfort zone so
this will actually develop you more than
you realize a lot of guys will say like
a this is a distraction don't talk to
girls up until you're like rich or
something and I'm telling you right now
like they're usually the the people who
have that kind of mindset they're
usually like either autistic as [Β __Β ] and
they have no idea like what the hell is
going on or they're they're basically
like Chads and former degenerates who
don't need to speak to girls right now
because they've got it like you know
like when you see like attractive guys
say like oh yeah don't think about girls
they get to say that because they
already [Β __Β ] a lot of women so if they
take like 3 months off dating it's not
going to affect them the same way that
it might affect you when this is one
your goal but to also something that
isn't like locked down for you like I've
I've had a lot of experiences with girls
that if I go and spend like a few months
not dating I'm I'm fine like literally
I'll go on the first date after a month
or two months of not dating at all and
I'll still end up [Β __Β ] that girl
literally within 3 hours of of being on
the date it's like that's that's my
comfort zone now it's not difficult for
me to do that so I can go on to self on
uh monk mode and say like yeah I don't
care about girls I'm not going to think
about girls but for you if this is an
area of improvement and it's part of
your goals then it actually makes sense
for you to speak to more girls and it'll
also make you less awkward around women
why because you're just getting more
experience so how do you actually do
this well there's three ways to go up
and speak to more women you can give
them a compliments you can let them into
your inner dialogue and you can ask them
an innocent question I've done a full
breakdown of these three ways you can go
speak to women that you don't know in
the full guide to cold approaching women
video that's on my channel you can just
go find that and um just go watch that
it's like a 40-minute guide on like how
to go speak to women that you don't know
on the street so the idea is just go
speak to women everywhere including guys
as well go to like work school gym
restaurants cafes everywhere you go try
and get it as social as possible speak
to the person next to you and
particularly go speak to the women and
it doesn't need to be a flirty
conversation just chatting about normal
stuff will still develop you but if you
do want to push for the flirty
conversation cuz there's a woman that
you're attract Ed to by all means do
that and you will get less awkward
around women to to um you know that in
the future because you'll get more
comfortable around being with women most
guys are just quite awkward around girls
especially once you get out of school
because there's almost no reason for you
to be around many women but when you
start speaking to way more women and you
start flirting with girls in the gym and
you start you know like like speaking to
the waitress and just asking like normal
questions like how are you today you
start learning like the kind of
mannerisms that are attractive you start
how to behave like normal in public
which quite frankly lots of men don't
know because they don't go outside again
this most likely if you're not going to
[Β __Β ] this is probably what your life
looks like and I'm telling you if this
is what your life looks like you are
going to be awkward around girls because
you speaking to a girl is going to be
the most exciting highlight of your
entire week and if you only speak to
like one girl a week or one girl a month
and you've got like one girl you're
texting who you've got all your eggs in
that basket you are going to come across
as awkward needy nervous but if suddenly
you started to speak to five girls every
single day you'd be so much less awkward
because you'd be less needy and it'd be
less significant and you'd have more
practice so go ahead and go speak to
more women I give you my blessing to do
this cuz a lot of people in this like
masculine self-improvement grind kind of
space will tell you like ah ignore girls
bro you don't need to go and like speak
to girls I'm telling you right now like
you most likely wouldn't be watching me
on YouTube or considering buying my my
products if I was a virgin if I didn't
speak to girls so it's interesting I've
even said this to Muslims like I've got
musl Muslim Students inside of my
program where we teach a lot of things
of like how to become a better man how
to increase testost how to speak to
women how to like date how to [Β __Β ] and
everything and obviously you can like
follow that advice without needing to be
a degenerate and I've even said it to my
Muslim Students I said to him like you
probably wouldn't be here buying my paid
product if I was a virgin would you and
they stopped like one guy stopped and he
was like yeah you're right actually so
he's not even a degenerate at all but
basically like we respect the man who's
who's went out and got an experience
with women because it is some like a
skill to be good with women it's a skill
to be able to like talk to them and most
men are just too afraid of that so this
is your like wakeup call to start like
just getting into the discomfort of
speaking to girls and being okay with
getting rejected being okay with
mumbling your words and [Β __Β ] up
because we've all basically had to go
through that let's move on to the fourth
point which is copying sexy men this is
the fastest way I've ever improved with
women find guys that you look up to
watch their manorisms with women and
then imitate that with your own style so
I've done this majorly with two people
I've done it with my friend Levi from
University who's like this cool black
guy that I used to go to like parties
with and I would notice his like he he
was like social a lot longer than I was
basically I I only stopped being like a
loser when I was like 19 years old he
was like cool in high school and
everything I didn't know him in high
school but he he spoke about the
experience and um so he he already had
like years of experience of like you
know going out speaking to girls
drinking and partying and stuff so I
kind of needed like someone to kind of
show me the way a little bit and I just
noticed his mannerisms like when we'd be
speaking to girls or we'd be going to
parties of just how cool and like you
know the way he'd behave the way he'd
talk the way he'd like move around he'd
speak to people it was like it broke so
many paradigms of like what I assumed
you had to be like in a certain
situation like when you meet a girl or
when you go to a party and so that
helped me a lot because the next time I
would go to a party I would slightly
like copy what he did but you know in my
own kind of style and it would work so
much faster than me being sat here and
watching a guide like this so this
advice I'm giving you kind of devalues
this entire a video I'm making because
this like this page right now would be
more valuable like and the same was with
this guy here Joe Delaney he's a fitness
YouTuber and I I followed him a long
time ago and he posted some videos where
he's like he's kind of like a party boy
he's going out to like uh parties and
clubs and he's going on dates with girls
and the way he'd speak to them it it
kept on breaking beliefs for me cuz I
was like oh [Β __Β ] like you know just
something occurred and I was like oh you
could speak to a girl like that and
that's actually kind of attractive I'll
try that next time and so then I'd say
like either the same thing he said or in
my style or you know the same kind of
like mannerisms and it would work so
well so quickly that from that point I
was like oh [Β __Β ] I don't care how lame
it sounds I'm always going to be okay
with like copying people because it's
just so fast to improve and what's
interesting this is a completely side
note but I actually blew up on YouTube
because I just copied people and no one
really like like fully really knows this
but I copied like hundreds of videos and
that's what made me blow up because
there was videos that were performing
well and I just copied and pasted the
title I didn't really copy the advice or
you know the content of the video but I
used to copy and paste like titles for
YouTube videos and when I was doing that
a lot I started to get like 5 10,000
subscribers per day so copying just
universally is such a good strategy and
and artists know this really well
there's a phrase which is steal like an
artist where basically you just go and
copy and like naturally when you copy
someone you don't copy them 100% because
it's your perspective of them so
suddenly it's it doesn't feel like a
complete an utter copy plagiarism
because you've automatically added in
your assessments like your your view of
the thing that you copied which means
that you'll never have like a perfect
onetoone copy which therefore still
makes it unique anyway but you've at
least started with like the Baseline
which was well so why this works is
because it's just so much faster to see
a guy who's in action with women and
then to imitate that then it is to start
at Gan zero trying to figure out
everything from a blank uh state or
blank slate so isn't this inauthentic it
kind of is but here's the truth like
either way you're going to find your
style over time this makes it faster to
find your style in my opinion rather
than [Β __Β ] up and doing weird [Β __Β ]
that although could be seen as authentic
doesn't actually get you what you want
like I don't feel inauthentic now or
even back then it was more that I'd get
inspiration and be like oh okay so you
can randomly like shout in a party like
you know my friend did that once right
loads of times you can add like that was
a belief that I walked home with one
time which was like oh like in a party
you don't have to be speaking quietly on
the side you can randomly just make like
[Β __Β ] loud noises and shout and and
like someone starts dancing like imagine
if a girl started dancing my friend Levi
would just shout and go like hey like
that and I didn't realize that that's
something you could do up until he did
it then the next times that like I was
in the same kind of situation and I
would do something similar that he did
and I I noticed that that was like a
good thing to do you know by the the
body language of people laughing and
smiling and stuff then I was like okay
like it doesn't feel inauthentic that I
did that I just didn't know that you
could do that before I had seen him so
it's like I don't think it's like this
is inauthentic it's just that you become
aware of things that you could do that
you didn't know you could have done
before so you you take it as it is maybe
you don't want to copy but I actually
have found a lot of value in doing this
so I'm going to keep doing that so how
do you exactly do this you find a role
model whether it's someone you watch
like their content or it's someone you
know in real life and you see how they
behave next to women so it's a guy who
makes videos with his girl or you know
he's cold ing women or it's like someone
you know in real life and you go to
parties or you go to like cold approach
with him or something you go to the gym
with him and you notice how he speaks to
girls and then you just copy some part
of that next time you're around women
and you'll notice that if he's if the
role model was good and he actually got
girls that you'll be way more likely to
get similar results as well so that's
the fourth part done now we're on
physical
relaxation nice picture of me in my uh
Villa in Thailand this was probably the
most beautiful place I've been to in my
life this is kosoy in Thailand
so the biggest tip out of this entire
guide the fastest progress you can make
with women is take a deep breath like I
say that literally cuz I say this quite
often now that this phrase of like take
a deep breath people's brain just turns
off and they're like yeah yeah whatever
it's kind of good advice I've heard it
before but often like for me personally
I'll forget to do this like I have the
advice of like take the deep breath and
I'll read it but I won't do it like be
honest when you saw that did you
actually take the deep breath or did you
just keep listening and getting ready to
like skip this section because you know
this piece of advice cuz if you did take
a deep breath right now with me right
now you probably find that instantly you
feel like 10 20% more present mark my
words when you take a deep breath just
before you go speak to a girl that
conversation will go so much better you
know how sometimes like you have a
conversation with a girl that's just
whack and you Mum your words and you
[Β __Β ] up and you literally like stut her
or something and other times you have a
conversation with a girl where you feel
like you said everything right and you
feel like she's really into you like
surprisingly into you usually that's
because you've been physically relaxed
and you just come across so much better
and so if you force a deep breath before
you go speak to a girl you might be so
surprised of how powerful it is that
that on tap you're able to activate that
sexy version of you where girl like
that's the version of you that the girl
ends up you know giving you her number
and eventually like getting with you so
that's just the one tip I'll give you to
physically relax and actually another
tip I'll give you is don't even think
about the alpha male body language like
there's a lot of YouTube videos that
talk about body language and I actually
think that they're all just Bas like
just stupid you don't need to think
about your body language just do the
deep breath and you'll automatically get
into an authentic natural confident body
language your body language is just a
reflection of how you feel inside and so
if you feel tense inside and you fake
like this like alpha male big you know
confident body language you'll recreo
like inauthenticity you'll wreak of like
fakeness and anyone who's at least a
little bit intelligent will be able to
pick up on that and actually not want to
spend time with you because it
symbolizes like dishonesty so don't even
think about body language ever again and
instead just think about feeling better
inside of you and the single greatest
thing you can do for that is take a deep
breath so that one's done and then we're
on mentally relax this one's quite
simple as well meditate longterm so
longterm just meditate 5 minutes a day
10 minutes a day you can use the apps
that you can find on your phone and that
I used to use a lot was called medito I
don't really use that one anymore I just
set like the normal iPhone time or 5
minutes and just focus on your breath
and as soon as you notice that your
focus has gone and you're randomly
thinking about you know some memory or
something literally just bring your
focus back to the breath and that's like
one rep like one bicep curl for the
brain it's the act of bringing your
focus once it left again back to the
breath back to the breath back to the
breath that's where the gains are made
you don't meditate and um think that
your your mind is supposed to stay
focused on the breath your mind is
literally like the point of meditation
is for your your mind to wonder and then
your act of meditation like your task is
to bring the wandering mind back it's
not like you should never be pissed off
that you aren't focused so many people
meditate and it's like I'm so surprised
that like no one's ever taught
meditation in like a way that the normal
person understands I swear to God like
my meditation advice is is so powerful
but I've never heard any of the people
on the apps or websites or whatever talk
about it it's like medit is not supposed
to be you being focused on your breath
it's you returning the attention back to
the breath it's like bringing back the
wandering mind so many people will say
like oh but I tried to meditate but I
couldn't stay focused on the breath it
didn't really work for me no that's the
point your mind's supposed to wer
because of course it will but the point
of meditation is doing reps of realizing
your mind has wandered and then bringing
it back bringing it back bringing it
back reeling it in reeling it in reeling
in like the monkey that's the point it's
like pulling the monkey then he runs
away again then pull the monkey back
then he runs away again it's the pulling
that's the point of meditation so the
next time you meditate and you notice oh
man I can't stay focused you should
smile and think oh yeah I can't stay
focused that's the point that's like the
whole point is I'm trying to bring it
back and the more times you pull back
the monkey you bring it back to the the
breath the more reps you're getting for
your attention span and you're more
mentally relaxing along with this
visualization is very strong so if I'm
about to cold approach a Girl by the way
there's only two things that I do I
don't try and think of what to say I'll
do one massive deep breath just like we
spoke about here then what I'll do is
I'll flash like an image of her in my
mind of her acting in quite like like
it's it's a very particular way like
this works for me my personality but
like quite like sexually intimidated so
I I've had like a bunch of times where
girls will tell me like how they felt
when we were first about to have sex and
there's almost like a face that multiple
girls have pulled where they're almost
like slightly like scared but like
turned on at the same time you know when
they're telling me about like what it
was like to like have sex with me for
the first time or something and um when
I'm speaking to a new girl or when I'm
about to go cold approach a new girl
I'll almost put that same kind of
mannerism like body language expression
on her so that it's like it's already
put me in the body language and that
emotional inner state that I've already
gotten her and she's already into me the
same way that previous girls have been
so you can try and copy that if you
don't have that memory bank of you know
girls that you've gotten beforehand
telling you what it was like then just
visualize the girl that you're about to
speak to whether it's a girl from school
or some girl in the gym that you're
about to go cold approach visualize her
just like being happy that you spoke to
her visualize her maybe being a bit
turned on afterwards because you spoke
to her in a confident sexy way something
like that just see like the way to
visualize is basically just like make
like a an AI generated image in your
brain just make the image pop up enjoy
the image for a few seconds and then go
and speak to her and the final mental
relaxation tip is actually just to
reframe nervousness for excitement so a
lot of the times you're about to go cold
approach a girl or go speak to a girl in
school and you know try and like spit
some game game out of her you'll be
quite nervous and then if you tell
yourself the story that you're nervous
you'll then perform worse because you'll
be like oh damn I'm nervous that's a bad
thing so anytime I feel nervous I often
will say it out loud or to myself or to
the person next to me I'm excited
usually that's a [Β __Β ] lie by the way
usually when I say that it's like I kind
of know it's a lie but for some reason
it works anyway so that's just a weird
tip like you can literally just tell
yourself no no it's excitement I'm
excited to go cold approacher I'm going
to go cold approacher right now and for
some reason it does actually work to
help to like make you better and less
awkward in that situation and the final
one is leveling up as a man and getting
to a good level of your own
self-improvement the the money you're
making in your career or business your
confidence attractiveness and everything
else so as you level up your status
increases status is your position in the
social hierarchy when your status is
significantly above the woman's you
won't be nervous at
all so how do you increase your status
while you do it through self-improvement
you set goals and you work hard on them
maybe the goal is to build an aesthetic
body or make money from a business or
heal trauma or improve social skills you
do things that level you up in different
areas that you care about and naturally
your status will go up because you
started to progress more and more and
more and you've achieved more things and
that just means that you're higher up in
the social hierarchy and when you're
higher than a woman in the social hierar
hierarchy in terms of status and value
that you bring naturally you'll be less
awkward around them because you'll be
less needy and less like careful and
you'll just be more present around them
so this is the on sexy answer because it
takes months and years to increase your
status us through self-improvement and
everything but it's the only true way to
lower nerves around women and this is
such an interesting question ask
yourself honestly would you still be
nervous and awkward around a one out of
10 woman think about it if if there was
a one out of 10 like a full-on like just
really nonattractive girl in front of
you would you be awkward around her
probably not probably not right so it's
interesting that it's based on her and
also our like the difference between her
status and ours so imagine you became
like a giga Chad Rich [Β __Β ]
suddenly you're not even awkward around
really beautiful women so even if you
didn't follow the previous tips if you
just became higher in status because of
achievements you would actually become
less awkward this is the long-term play
and this is probably the most powerful
one because you just feel less awkward
around even like beautiful women even
high quality women because of how much
you've leveled yourself up so at the
start of this guide I promised you that
I'd teach you how to start cold
approaching oh [Β __Β ] this is the previous
page I didn't change that well at the
start this guy I teach you I promised
you uh the seven things you can do to
destroy awkwardness around women we went
through every single one of these check
them all off don't watch porn or see any
sexual content of her replace them off
the pedestal speak to more women this is
self-improvements copy sexy men
physically relax mentally relaxed level
up as a man we've covered everything
that I promised to you and one last time
the top Link in the description is
everything you need to get girls in 2024
so once you've learned everything today
of like not being awkward now it's time
to actually attract those women properly
and so that top Link in the description
will help you to do that go to that link
right now go open it up and go watch
that video do the hard work especially
when you don't feel like it
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