HOW TO BE MASCULINE ENOUGHT TO ATTRACT WOMEN?

Summary

The speaker discusses the impact of pornography on men's self-improvement and masculinity, suggesting that it leads to a decline in motivation to develop attractive qualities. He contrasts this with the effects of alcohol, which he has abstained from, and argues that true confidence comes from being authentic without reliance on substances. The conversation also touches on cultural differences in alcohol consumption and the benefits of a substance-free lifestyle in achieving personal growth and genuine social interactions.

Takeaways

• 🚫 The script discusses the negative impact of pornography on men, suggesting that it can lead to erectile dysfunction and a lack of motivation to develop masculine attributes.
• 🧠 It emphasizes the importance of self-improvement and personal growth for men, rather than relying on external stimuli for sexual satisfaction.
• 🍻 The speaker shares his experience of not consuming alcohol and how it has influenced his life, suggesting that avoiding alcohol can help maintain authenticity and self-confidence.
• 💪 He contrasts the temporary 'pseudo confidence' provided by alcohol with the genuine self-confidence that comes from being true to oneself without the need for substances.
• 🎉 The script touches on the social pressures and expectations that can lead people to drink alcohol, and the speaker's personal choice to avoid it due to cultural and personal reasons.
• 🔑 The speaker believes that by not relying on alcohol, one can experience life more authentically and make better judgments about what they truly enjoy and value.
• 🌐 The discussion includes the idea that cultural differences, such as in Dubai, can affect attitudes towards alcohol and the social habits surrounding it.
• 🌱 The speaker suggests a 30-day challenge of abstaining from alcohol to allow individuals to assess the impact on their lives and personal growth.
• 🤔 There is a mention of the psychological effects of alcohol, such as numbing one's authenticity and suppressing the ability to be confident without it.
• 💡 The script highlights the importance of self-awareness and the recognition of one's own interests and values, which can be obscured by the influence of substances like alcohol.
• 📚 The speaker's background in psychology and education is mentioned, suggesting that these experiences have shaped his views on the impact of alcohol and other substances on personal development.

Q & A

What is the main concern discussed in the transcript regarding the effects of excessive pornography consumption on men?

The main concern is that excessive pornography consumption can lead to erectile dysfunction and a loss of drive to improve oneself, causing men to become less masculine and more dependent on instant gratification rather than developing qualities like kindness, success, and confidence.

How does the speaker describe the impact of alcohol on a person's authenticity and confidence?

The speaker argues that alcohol provides pseudo-confidence and numbs a person's authenticity. It suppresses true self-esteem and the ability to be confident and authentic without relying on external substances. Without alcohol, one can experience life more authentically and know what they truly like and feel.

According to the speaker, what is the significance of giving up alcohol for self-improvement?

Giving up alcohol allows a person to face life more authentically and develop natural confidence. The speaker believes that removing alcohol can help individuals become more aware of their true feelings, preferences, and the company they enjoy, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

What challenges does the speaker mention about giving up alcohol, especially in a social context?

The speaker mentions that giving up alcohol can be challenging due to peer pressure and social norms. In social settings, people often feel the need to drink to fit in or appear confident. However, once alcohol is removed, individuals may initially struggle with what to do with themselves in social situations but eventually become more confident and self-assured.

Why does the speaker believe that removing alcohol from one's life can lead to a better understanding of personal relationships?

The speaker suggests that without alcohol, individuals can better assess their relationships and interactions. For example, a conversation that seemed interesting while intoxicated may appear shallow when sober, leading to a more accurate evaluation of who they truly enjoy spending time with.

How does the speaker relate the cultural context of alcohol consumption to personal choices and boundaries?

The speaker notes that cultural and familial boundaries, such as those stemming from a religious upbringing, can play a significant role in shaping one's choices regarding alcohol. These boundaries can help individuals optimize their potential and maintain a non-promiscuous lifestyle, which the speaker values.

What does the speaker say about the impact of alcohol on social events, particularly in places like Dubai?

The speaker points out that in places like Dubai, alcohol is either very expensive or available in large quantities at brunches, leading people to overconsume and eventually become sick of it. This often results in a cleanse period where individuals reject alcohol due to its negative effects on their bodies.

What does the speaker imply about the role of external substances in achieving masculinity and confidence?

The speaker implies that relying on external substances like alcohol or pornography undermines true masculinity and confidence. Instead, these qualities should be developed naturally through personal growth and self-improvement, without the need for artificial boosts.

How does the speaker's personal experience influence their perspective on alcohol and self-confidence?

The speaker's personal experience of not drinking alcohol, partly due to religious reasons, has led them to develop confidence without relying on external substances. This experience reinforces their belief that true confidence comes from within and is not dependent on alcohol.

What advice does the speaker offer to individuals struggling with reliance on alcohol or other forms of instant gratification?

The speaker advises individuals to try abstaining from alcohol for a period, such as 30 days, to compare their experiences and see the difference in their confidence, authenticity, and overall well-being. This can help them realize the benefits of living without reliance on such substances.

Outlines

00:00

🚀 The Impact of Pornography on Masculinity and Authenticity

The speaker discusses the negative effects of pornography on men's self-improvement and masculinity. He suggests that as men age, the average woman may no longer be stimulating enough, leading to erectile dysfunction and a lack of motivation to develop the skills needed to attract a woman. Historically, men had to demonstrate success, kindness, and masculinity to win over a woman, but now, some men may rely on pornography to satisfy their desires without personal growth. The speaker also touches on the topic of alcohol, comparing the artificial confidence it provides to the true confidence that comes from being authentic without the need for external substances. He praises those who abstain from alcohol due to the peer pressure they face, and shares his own experience of living in Asia, surrounded by an older network where alcohol is less of a social necessity.

05:01

🍷 Cultural Perspectives on Alcohol and Personal Growth

In this paragraph, the speaker explores the cultural aspects of alcohol consumption, particularly in Dubai, where drinking can be very expensive unless during brunches which offer unlimited drinks. This leads to people either overindulging or abstaining due to the high cost. The speaker advocates for a 30-day cleanse from alcohol to experience its absence and compare one's state with and without it. He shares his personal journey of not relying on alcohol for confidence or social interaction, attributing his extroversion and confidence to the fact that he doesn't need alcohol to be himself. The speaker also reflects on his education and cultural background, which has shaped his lifestyle choices and contributed to his personal growth.

Keywords

💡Erectile dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction refers to the inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. In the video's context, it is mentioned as a potential consequence of excessive pornography consumption, which can desensitize a man to real-life sexual stimulation. The speaker suggests that this can lead to a reliance on pornography rather than seeking to improve personal attributes to attract a partner.

💡Masculinity

Masculinity in this video is discussed in terms of the attributes and skills that men feel they need to possess to attract a woman. The speaker argues that men should strive to be successful, kind, caring, and display traditional masculine traits to be attractive to women. The video suggests that the absence of these qualities can lead to a weaker version of oneself.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity here is the concept of being true to oneself without the influence of external substances or behaviors. The speaker contrasts authentic behavior with reliance on alcohol to feel confident or sociable. Authenticity is linked to the ability to express oneself naturally and confidently, without the need for substances like alcohol to 'kick in'.

💡Dopamine

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. In the script, it is referred to as 'cheap dopamine,' suggesting that the instant gratification provided by pornography or alcohol is easily accessible but potentially harmful. The speaker implies that this type of dopamine can be addictive and detrimental to personal growth and self-improvement.

💡Alcohol

Alcohol is mentioned as a substance that can provide a false sense of confidence and sociability, masking insecurities and authentic personality traits. The speaker notes that abstaining from alcohol allows for a more genuine experience of life and interactions, as it does not require the artificial boost that alcohol provides.

💡Insecurities

Insecurities in the video are portrayed as a driving force behind the reliance on external substances like alcohol or behaviors such as watching pornography. The speaker suggests that overcoming insecurities involves facing them head-on and not relying on temporary fixes like alcohol to feel more confident or sociable.

💡Confidence

Confidence is discussed as an intrinsic quality that should not be dependent on external factors like alcohol or the consumption of pornography. The speaker emphasizes the importance of natural confidence, which is the ability to be oneself and interact with others authentically without the need for substances to feel more self-assured.

💡Peer pressure

Peer pressure is alluded to as a factor that can influence an individual's decision to consume alcohol or engage in certain behaviors. The speaker admires those who can resist peer pressure to abstain from alcohol, suggesting that this resistance is a sign of strength and self-assuredness.

💡Cultural influences

Cultural influences are mentioned in the context of drinking habits and societal expectations. The speaker references Irish culture and Dubai's drinking culture as examples of how societal norms can shape an individual's behavior and attitudes towards alcohol consumption.

💡Self-improvement

Self-improvement is a central theme in the video, with the speaker advocating for the development of personal attributes and skills as a means to attract a partner and live a fulfilling life. The speaker suggests that reliance on pornography or alcohol can hinder this process, as it provides temporary satisfaction without addressing the need for personal growth.

Highlights

The speaker discusses the impact of age on sexual stimulation and the potential for erectile dysfunction as men get older.

Men may lose the motivation to develop skills and attributes to attract a woman due to the easy access to sexual stimulation through pornography.

The historical comparison of men's efforts to attract women, from the days of Elvis Presley to the current state of relying on pornography.

The speaker's personal experience of giving up alcohol and the challenges of facing peer pressure without the crutch of alcohol.

The contrast between the speaker's lifestyle in Asia and the cultural expectations of drinking in Irish society.

The importance of being authentic and not relying on substances like alcohol to express oneself.

The speaker's observation of friends who drink and how alcohol affects their behavior and authenticity.

The idea that true confidence comes from being oneself without the need for external substances.

The speaker's personal growth and increased confidence after stepping away from alcohol and cigarettes.

The cultural differences in Dubai regarding alcohol consumption and the impact on people's health and habits.

The suggestion of a 30-day alcohol-free period as an AB test to compare one's state with and without alcohol.

The benefits of experiencing life authentically without the influence of alcohol.

The speaker's reflections on how not relying on alcohol has contributed to their confidence and self-awareness.

The impact of alcohol on one's ability to genuinely connect with others and the potential for misjudgment under its influence.

The speaker's educational background and how it has influenced their perspective on life and substance use.

The speaker's belief in the importance of boundaries and how they have shaped their life choices.

The final thoughts on finding authenticity by removing alcohol from one's life and the clarity it brings to relationships and self-perception.

Transcripts

by the time you get to 30 it turns into

criminal Behavior yeah it turns into so

what happens is the average woman can no

longer stimulate you and you find

yourself having erectile dysfunction but

the bigger issue I feel like it causes

men is they no longer feel like they

need to work on the skills and the

attributes it takes to attract a woman

before to have sex with a woman or to

see her naked a man would have to be

like right I have to have money I have

to be successful I have to be kind I

have to be caring I have to be masculine

I have to be all these amazing things

that makes him a man and then he'd clear

up so like the Elvie Elvis Presley's

days a man would have to be all of those

things to get a woman now it's like I'm

really craving a woman I'm overweight I

haven't got a job I'm playing video

games all day but I'm I'm I'm horny let

me just watch porn whereas before it' be

like get yourself up come on go talk to

women so they're losing their Drive of

what makes them masculine so they become

more and more uh IM masculine

and they become a weaker version of

themselves every time they watch it

because they can satisfy themselves

without working on themselves it's a lot

of cheap dopamine it's been cheap and

but also very very dangerous dopamine of

course but I think like so I've given up

alcohol for the last 10 and a half

months I've never tried alcohol in my

life no way no well you know just an

angel but yeah you've you've never known

the other side of it but like I always

said it's like I'm a I'm so so impressed

by people who give it up though even

though I've never tried it the people

that give it up are the ones that have

to face so much peer pressure and they

have to really go against the grain

whereas for me nobody pressures me

because they know I'm never going to try

it but see the thing for me so the

reason why it was a little bit easier

for me is cuz I'm literally in the

middle of Asia on my own it's me my

girlfriend my dog a lot of my like

Network are a lot older so from my

podcast like a lot of my friends could

be like 40 50 around 27 so it's fine and

we go for dinner and they be like oh you

want like this like $4,000 like glass of

wine I'm like I'm okay you know so it's

fine but of course come from like Irish

culture I I'm No Angel like as in I've

been to like every event in IA you can

you can name right but over the course

of like six years from like say 19 to 24

to 25 I had my party days and now I'm

kind of in the building phase of what I

would say and like fixing all that kind

of but those cheap dope means are

so easier to lean into so drink

obviously does like sex drugs all that

kind of stuff involved as well how would

you recommend someone that kind of clear

their mind from all that here's what

alcohol does it's pseudo confidence and

what again here's the goal of a man

should be to have a natural element in

him that enables him to be masculine now

when you take alcohol what it does is I

mean I I've never tried alcohol but what

I have noticed about myself

comparatively to my friends who drink is

that I'm not waiting for something to

kick in before I start being me I'm not

waiting for a drug to sink into my body

for me to be authentic I'm not waiting

for it to sink in for me to start

dancing I'll walk into an environment if

there's music on I'm like ready to roll

because and my friends are like let me

just let this sink in I'm like let what

sink in let me just and I'm like it's so

foreign to me I'm just like what are we

waiting for this song is good but it's

like what happens then when you do that

is you numb your authenticity you numb

your ability to be confident without it

you numb your ability to say what you

want to say without it you numb your

ability to talk to women without it so

you're numbing your authenticity you're

suppressing who you truly are and

waiting for the alcohol to leash it but

true confidence and true self-esteem and

true needs are met when you can be

whoever you truly are in the absence of

any kind of external um doses so when

they can finally be themselves you can

only do that when you don't rely on

alcohol and then you know what you truly

feel and what you truly like as well

because what happens is I'll sometimes

be with friends and we're in the

shittest place but because they're

drinking they're still they're like it's

fine it's fun like no it's not this

place is a dive why are we here they're

pretending it's fun because they've got

the extra kind of added dose but when

you remove that you can actually

experience life authentically and only

when you experience life authentically

is a life worth living and I think a lot

of it is done to insecurities and like I

say this with no sense of spirit I'm

sure if I could drink I mean it's

religious reasons but I'm sure I would

be I would be the worst if I could drink

but like from what was like kind of so

common I guess um and not like Irish

people just just in general is that like

when I was younger probably because I

was a bit more uh influ was more

influenced by people you know so I'd

always have like a g tonic in my hand

and I'd always have a cigarette so if we

out at an event I'd always have both

hands are occupied right and then when

you remove that you're like what do I do

with these what I do my hands like what

do I do my hands so then like as I like

kind of like stepped away from it I

become actually way more confident and

like you realize you can dance you also

have my own my own interests and my own

like uh values

I don't need so for when I a people here

they all drink as well which is

interesting cuai like there's people

that are pushing really hurt and they're

like yeah let's just go chill out you

know why that you know why that is

because Dubai's culture is it's very

expensive to drink unless you're doing

brunches which makes it very cheap to

over drink so it's unlimited drinks or

very expensive so people have done

branches and realize how unbearable

alcohol your body is rejecting it so

they get so sick of the branches that

they think my body can't take this

anymore and and they go through the

cleanse period yeah because your body

rejects it yeah I think everyone should

just do like 30 days and then you see a

comparison cuz you literally it's like

an AB test you see what I was and what I

am and I'm not saying forever I just

think that even for me I like the fact

that I go like month to month and I'm

like oh and I think it's just so

significant because like as I mentioned

like 27 and now quite extroverted I

could do that every I want to do but I

think I have like other goals which I'm

not saying that other people don't it's

just for what I want to do but I I

definitely think I attribute a lot of my

confidence down to the fact that I can't

rely on anything and and your

education you psychology UCL and you've

gone on to other things like you weren't

out getting shitfaced yeah I I mean it

wasn't an option my dad is you know he's

Pakistani yeah you know it wasn't it's

great now I love the boundaries because

they've enabled me to optimize my

potential obviously at the time I was

just like I can't do anything even if I

wanted to that's why one of the things I

always make clear it's not I didn't have

a choice when it came to having a really

kind of um kind of nonpromiscuous

lifestyle is my parents were created it

and then it cultivates in yourself and

it become you internalize it so it

wasn't like a choice I made I'm sure if

I had the freedom I wouldn't have made

these choices but I would say that I

promise you you find authenticity when

you remove alcohol from your life and

you find you realize who you actually

enjoy the company of you realize you

know when you're talking to a girl in

the club and you're fully drunk and she

seems so interesting you're like yeah

yeah I want to take her out and you go

on a date with her sober and you're like

this dumb like so dumb and

then they call me