7 Evidence-Based Tips to Manage Stress & Anxiety
Summary
TLDRIn this insightful video, the host discusses the challenges of stress and anxiety, sharing evidence-based tips from renowned psychologist Dr. Judy Smith. The host's personal journey with stress is candidly shared, alongside seven actionable strategies to better manage these emotions, including using distancing language, identifying emotions with a feelings wheel, heeding early warning feelings, avoiding personalization, dropping mental filters, building mindfulness, and creating a self-soothing box. The video also highlights the importance of therapy and introduces BetterHelp as a resource, offering a 10% discount for viewers seeking support.
Takeaways
- 📝 Writing down thoughts starting with 'I'm having thoughts that...' can help create emotional distance and reduce distress.
- 🧠 Dr. Judy Smith's advice emphasizes the importance of using distancing language to manage stress and anxiety effectively.
- 🎭 The 'Masken' analogy illustrates how thoughts can influence our perception and personality, and the importance of not giving them too much power.
- 🔄 'Spin the feelings wheel' is a technique to identify and articulate specific emotions, aiding in better understanding and addressing emotional states.
- 🚨 Using feelings as an 'early warning system' can help identify underlying issues in life that may need attention before they escalate.
- 🔍 'Pausing the personalizing' means recognizing the cognitive bias that attributes external events to oneself, which can lead to unnecessary stress.
- 🌫 'Dropping the mental filter' involves being aware of the tendency to focus on negative aspects and consciously shifting focus to positive elements.
- 🧘♂️ 'Mindfulness muscle' refers to the practice of staying present and training the mind to focus, which can be achieved through activities like meditation.
- 📦 The 'self-soothing box' is a collection of comforting items and activities that can be used to self-regulate and soothe emotions during stressful times.
- 📚 Journaling is highlighted as a powerful self-help tool for managing stress and anxiety, and for gaining clarity on life goals and desires.
Q & A
What is the main topic discussed in the video script?
-The main topic discussed in the video script is managing stress and anxiety, with advice and tips from a world-famous psychologist, Dr. Judy Smith.
What is the first actionable tip provided by Dr. Judy Smith for dealing with stress and anxiety?
-The first actionable tip is to use 'step back language' or 'distancing language' when writing down thoughts that cause distress, to create a mental distance and reduce their power.
Can you explain the concept of 'step back language' as mentioned in the script?
-The concept of 'step back language' involves starting sentences with phrases like 'I'm having thoughts that...' or 'I'm noticing the thought that...', which helps in recognizing thoughts as just thoughts, not facts or definitive narratives.
What is the 'feelings wheel' and how can it be beneficial?
-The 'feelings wheel' is a tool invented by psychologist Robert Plutchik that helps individuals identify and articulate specific emotions they are experiencing, providing a more nuanced understanding of their emotional state.
How does the script relate the film 'The Mask' to our thoughts and their impact on us?
-The script uses the film 'The Mask' as a metaphor to illustrate how thoughts can become like a mask that changes our perception and personality. By creating distance from these thoughts, we can see them for what they are and reduce their power over us.
What is the significance of the 'early warning feelings' mentioned in the script?
-The 'early warning feelings' are initial signs of stress or overwhelm that, if listened to, can serve as a warning system for potential problems in our lives, prompting us to take action before issues escalate.
What is 'personalizing' and why can it be harmful?
-'Personalizing' is a cognitive bias where we assume that events happening around us are our fault. This can lead to unnecessary stress and misery by attributing negative events or actions of others to ourselves.
How does the script describe the 'mental filter' and its effects on our perception?
-The 'mental filter' is a cognitive bias that causes us to focus more on negative aspects of our experiences, disregarding positive ones. This can contribute to stress and anxiety by creating a more negative view of the world.
What is the purpose of the 'mindfulness muscle' as discussed in the script?
-The 'mindfulness muscle' refers to the mental discipline of staying present and focused, rather than letting thoughts wander. It is likened to a gym for the mind, helping to build the ability to notice and control where our attention goes.
What is a 'self-soothing box' and how can it help with stress and anxiety?
-A 'self-soothing box' is a collection of strategies, activities, and tools that provide comfort and help soothe an individual during times of stress or anxiety. It can include items that engage the senses and create a feeling of safety and calm.
What is the role of journaling in managing stress and anxiety as suggested in the script?
-Journaling is presented as an effective self-help tool for managing stress and anxiety. It can provide mental clarity and help individuals figure out what they want to do with their life, as well as process their emotions.
Outlines
🤔 Managing Stress and Anxiety with Dr. Judy Smith's Advice
The speaker introduces the topic of stress and anxiety, acknowledging their personal struggle and recent interview with renowned psychologist Dr. Judy Smith. They discuss the importance of evidence-based strategies for managing these emotions. The first tip shared is 'step back language,' which involves distancing oneself from thoughts by framing them as mere thoughts rather than facts. This technique helps in reducing the power these thoughts hold over us. The speaker also shares their own experience with elevated stress markers due to work and personal life, emphasizing the need for active stress management.
🌀 Spinning the Feelings Wheel for Emotional Clarity
This paragraph delves into the concept of the 'feelings wheel,' a tool for identifying and understanding one's emotions more precisely. The speaker explains how some people struggle to articulate their feelings beyond basic emotions like happy, sad, or angry. The feelings wheel, developed by psychologist Robert Plutchik, helps in identifying more nuanced emotions, which can lead to better understanding and management of one's emotional state. The speaker also mentions a partnership with BetterHelp, an online therapy platform, suggesting that professional help can be beneficial for those struggling with mental health issues.
🚨 Using Early Warning Feelings to Detect Life Stressors
The speaker discusses the idea of using early warning feelings as a signal for potential problems in life. They emphasize the importance of listening to these initial feelings and not dismissing them as trivial. The speaker shares personal experiences of feeling overwhelmed and stressed due to work and upcoming book releases, highlighting how these early signs of stress can compound over time if ignored. They also mention the value of recognizing and addressing these feelings to prevent further escalation into more serious issues like burnout.
🔍 Avoiding Personalizing and Filtering Negative Thoughts
The speaker addresses the cognitive biases of personalizing and mental filtering, which can exacerbate stress and anxiety. Personalizing involves attributing negative events or actions to oneself, leading to feelings of guilt and self-loathing. Mental filtering, on the other hand, is the tendency to focus on negative aspects while ignoring positive ones. The speaker provides examples of how these biases can distort reality and contribute to negative mental states. They encourage viewers to be aware of these biases and to consciously focus on positive aspects of life to counteract them.
🧘♂️ Strengthening the Mindfulness Muscle for Stress Relief
In this paragraph, the speaker talks about mindfulness as a tool for managing stress and anxiety. They explain that mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment and not letting thoughts run wild. The speaker shares Dr. Julie's personal experience of using mindfulness during stressful periods, such as focusing on the sound of footsteps while running. They emphasize that mindfulness is not a passive activity but an active practice that requires effort to maintain focus. The speaker also mentions the benefits of meditation in enhancing mindfulness and improving mental health.
🎁 Creating a Self-Soothing Box for Emotional Support
The speaker introduces the concept of a 'self-soothing box,' a collection of strategies, activities, and tools designed to provide comfort and soothe during stressful or anxious moments. They describe how this box can include items that engage all the senses, such as music, perfume, or even tastes that evoke feelings of safety and comfort. The idea is to use these items to create a sense of safety and calm in the present moment, helping to manage stress and anxiety effectively.
📚 Journaling as a Powerful Self-Help Tool for Mental Health
The speaker concludes by highlighting journaling as a powerful self-help tool for managing stress and anxiety. They mention a separate video that provides an ultimate guide to journaling for better mental health and clarity. The speaker encourages viewers to consider reaching out for help if they feel they are not coping and emphasizes the importance of talking to others about their struggles. They end the video by thanking viewers for watching and suggesting further resources for support.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Distancing language
💡Feelings wheel
💡Early warning feelings
💡Personalizing
💡Catastrophizing
💡Mental filter
💡Mindfulness
💡Self-soothing box
💡Therapy
💡Journaling
Highlights
Stress and Anxiety are common emotions that can be managed with evidence-based techniques.
Dr. Judy Smith provides advice on navigating emotions through an interview.
Writing down distressing thoughts can help manage them by creating mental distance.
Using 'I'm having thoughts that...' can reframe how we perceive our thoughts.
The film 'The Mask' illustrates how thoughts can influence our perception and personality.
The Feelings Wheel helps identify and understand specific emotions more granularly.
BetterHelp offers online therapy services to improve emotional health outcomes.
Early warning feelings can signal underlying issues in our lives.
Personalizing events can lead to unnecessary stress and negative self-perception.
Catastrophizing thoughts can escalate into unrealistic negative outcomes.
Mental filters can skew our focus towards negative aspects, ignoring positives.
Mindfulness is like a mental gym, training us to stay in the present moment.
Meditation is a powerful tool for enhancing mindfulness and mental health.
Creating a self-soothing box with comforting items can help manage stress.
Journaling is an effective self-help method for managing stress and anxiety.
The importance of seeking help from others in addition to self-help practices.
Transcripts
hey friends welcome back to the channel
so Stress and Anxiety are very real
emotions for basically everyone and
there's something that I've personally
been struggling with over the last
couple of months and so I recently
interviewed world famous psychologist Dr
Judy Smith to try and get some
evidence-based advice and tips for how
to navigate these emotions a little bit
better a really simple technique might
be okay if you're lots of those thoughts
are causing you distress writing them
down but not only writing them down
starting that sentence with I'm having
thoughts that or I'm noticing the
thought that so you're immediately
you're kind of priming your mind for
this is a thought I'm not writing a f a
few months ago I did a blood test and it
showed that I've got elevated stress
markers based on things that are going
on at work and also my personal life and
so dealing with stress is something that
I'm actively working on right now and Dr
Julia's advice has been so helpful so in
this video we are going to discuss seven
actionable evidence-based steps that you
can use to better manage Stress and
Anxiety tip number one step back
language okay so stepb back language or
distancing language is all about using
language that creates some sort of
distance between us and our thoughts a
really simple technique might be okay if
you're lots of those thoughts are
causing you distress writing them down
but not only writing them down starting
that sentence with I'm having thoughts
that or I'm noticing the thought that so
you're immediately kind of priming your
mind for this is a thought this is not
I'm not writing a fact I'm writing a
thought or a perspective or the story
I'm telling myself is or the narrative
currently is those kind of beginnings of
sentences can just help to give you that
extra arms length so that you can see
that thought for what it is and and just
something as simple as that can take
some of the power out of it now I really
like this technique because you're not
ignoring your feelings or invalidating
them you're allowing them to exist but
you're not taking them as seriously or
as sincerely as you might otherwise have
done and there's a really nice way of
thinking about this based on the film
The
masken now the main character Stanley
ipus finds this old mask and when he
puts it on it completely changes his
personality when the mask is on he can
only see the world through the mask and
our thoughts can become like this mask
where if we hold them too close to us
they can color our perception of the
world and they can change our
personality and all that bad stuff but
with a little bit of practice we can
learn to get some separation between
ourselves and the mask and it's like in
the film when Jim Carrey takes the mask
off he and like holds it at arms length
he sees it for what it is like this
wooden husk of a thing and he's like
hang on like why was this thing is this
the thing that I've given so much power
over myself tip number two spin the
feelings wheel you know some people are
in touch with their thoughts processes
so you'll ask them what they feel and
they'll say well I'm thinking that and
they're kind of reeling off the thoughts
to you or you know you'll ask them what
emotion is present and they'll say well
actually I've got butterflies in my
tummy or I'm really tense and so they're
more in touch with the physical
Sensations and emotion and it's all part
of the same experience right and I think
I mentioned the book about it being kind
of it's almost like weaves in a basket
they're all aspects of the same
experience but you don't necessarily
experience the weaves you experience the
whole basket and so you get this kind of
sensation you don't necessarily have
words to describe that and and when we
separate it out into thoughts physical
Sensations emotions some people just
don't have the vocab to give granularity
to you know they might have happy sad
angry frustrated but they might not have
the vocab to kind of give that any
Nuance right so this is what a feelings
wheel looks like and it's a great
technique that I've personally been
getting a lot of benefit out of and the
idea is that you look at the words
around the wheel that describe various
feelings and you ask yourself which of
these feelings am I experiencing right
now or you can ask yourself which of
these feelings have I experienced over
the last let's say 2 weeks so if like me
you sometimes have feelings and you're
not exactly sure what they are then
having a look at a feelings wheel can be
a really helpful way of being like being
able to identify what the specific
feeling or emotion actually is now the
feelings wheel was invented by
psychologist Robert plik and it helps
you get more specific about what it is
your feeling if you're feeling really
happy for example you can follow the
wheel and maybe identify that what
you're really feeling is proud and then
Pride might actually be confidence
you're doing a good job and work and
things are on track but this also works
for more negative emotions if you're
feeling sad for example you can get more
granular and see that actually what I'm
feeling is despair but even deeper down
from despair you might realize that
you're feeling powerless and then you
can think about why that might be maybe
you're stuck in a job that you hate and
that's what's getting you down or you've
got your exams to take and you feel like
you can't do much to change the outcome
all of that would lead to a feeling of
powerlessness and being able to say I
feel powerless instead of just I feel
sad can often help you find better
Solutions because sad is kind of vague
and often difficult to change but when
you say you're feeling powerless that
has tangible steps that you can
potentially take and in fact researcher
Dr wox has found that the better we are
at talking about our emotions the better
our health outcomes seem to be and the
better we seem to be at regulating our
emotions as well if you're interested in
potentially finding someone to talk
about your emotions with then I'm
delighted to say this video is a paid
partnership with better help better help
is the world's largest therapy service
and it's 100% online with better help
you can tap into a network of over
30,000 credential therapists to get
started you just ask answer a few
questions about your preferences when it
comes to therapy and this way better
help can match you with the right
therapist from their Network and then
you can talk to your therapist however
you feel comfortable whether it's by
phone or by text or by video call and
regardless of whether you have a
specific mental health diagnosis like
depression or anxiety or anything else
or if you're just a human living in this
world who's going through a hard time
therapy with a professional can often
give you the tools that you might need
to navigate life you can message your
therapist at any time and you can always
schedule appointments whenever is
convenient for you and if your therapist
isn't the right fit for whatever reason
you can switch to a different therapist
at no additional charge and with better
help you get the same professionalism
and quality that you would expect from
in office therapy but with a therapist
who's custom picked for you with more
scheduling flexibility and at a much
more affordable price so if any of that
sounds up your street you can head over
to betterhelp.com Al abdal that's B TT R
hp.com Al abdal and if you use that link
which is also in the video description
then you will get 10% off your first
month with better help so thank you so
much to better help for sponsoring this
video tip number three early warning
feelings so one interesting way of
approaching our feelings is to use them
as a sort of early warning system for
other problems that might be happening
in our life and sometimes those early
feelings can be the most valuable right
when we listen to them so I think we
have to you know listen to our emotions
as we would listen to any message and
hold it lightly you know except that
it's okay this is one possible version
of this reality and that it's the first
feeling I got so I'm going to hold on to
that and I'm going to also stay open to
other perspectives or the rest of
experience and so just because it's not
not the one truth doesn't mean it has to
be completely disregarded you know there
are lots of really valuable things that
aren't the beond an endle so it's you
know holding it as valuable but
realizing that if we blinker ourselves
and only look at that as the possible
truth we're really restricting ourselves
there and you can really go down a hell
hole in some ways if your thoughts are
distressing or painful and that kind of
thing and in particular in my life the
way that I've personally been struggling
with this literally over the last few
weeks is kind of feelings of
meaninglessness and I guess anxiety and
burnout and stuff when it comes to for
example making these YouTube videos I've
been doing this thing for over 6 years
now and especially with my book coming
out which you can pre-order down below
if you feel like it especially with my
book coming out there's been a lot of
stuff that's going on with podcasts and
the YouTube channel and the business and
all this kind of stuff and it's felt
pretty stressful and overwhelming at
times and early on in the process I sort
of felt like ah whatever I can push
through like you know it's not like I'm
a coal miner like what do I like what
right do I have to potentially feel
stressed or feel overwhelmed I'm just
making YouTube videos on the internet
for God's sake but since actually seeing
a therapist myself and then also doing
that interview with Dr Julie I've
realized that these feelings are things
that we shouldn't really ignore because
even a minor niggle of stress or
overwhelm when when you're doing
something repeatedly is a thing that can
easily compound over time and there are
so many creators and entrepreneurs who
have spoken to about this who say that
they should have recognized the early
warning signs of overwhelm or of burnout
because they could have done something
about it rather than just think of it as
something to power through tip number
four pause the personalizing now
personalizing is a cognitive bias where
when things happen we're very quick to
assume that those things are our fault
so let's say you're walking down the
street and you see someone you know on
the other side of the street so you wave
and you say hi and they don't you you
feel like they've seen you but they
don't wave back and then your brain goes
straight to that thing I said the other
day must have offended her she must hate
me everyone must be talking about me I'm
so awful what was I thinking how could I
say something like that and and you go
down this kind of spiral yeah and if you
kind of get the bird's eye view from
that scenario they we could sit down
here and scribble out 10,000 Reasons Why
that person might not have smiled but
you go down this hole of kind of
self-loathing and so you're you're
taking an event that could have lots of
explanations or could be fairly neutral
and you're making it about you and often
in a negative way that is kind of
painful or hurtful to you so you kind of
personalize stuff now personalizing can
be a very natural response because it's
so easy for us to focus on ourselves and
the way other people interact with us
but if we jump to too many of these
conclusions about ourselves being the
sole cause of I don't know actions or
feelings around us then that can make us
pretty stressed and miserable and any
way personalizing is a type of
catastrophizing which has become quite a
buzzword these days but there's a lot of
truth to it like imagine you were going
through a breakup for example you might
feel hurt and alone but instead of
seeing this as the end of one
relationship if you catastrophize and
personalize then your mind tells you
that if it didn't work out with this
person then all of your relationships
are going to fail and that no one's ever
going to love you and then things
escalate to the point where you're
convinced that you're going to die alone
but obviously this is not reality these
anxious thoughts spirals can feel so
real when we're going through them in
the moment but we need to remind oursel
that setbacks are a part of life and
just going through one of them doesn't
mean we're going to continue getting
that same setback over and over again
tip number five drop the mental filter
now the mental filter is again something
that our mind does that shows us the
world in a way more negative light I did
a video on this actually where I used
like a big tray like a big cender type
thing um and I put kind of different
sized beans in to show kind of different
types of thoughts and the mental filter
is often you get this a lot with
depression actually where the good
things that happen for example or
thoughts about things that could
actually make you feel a bit better tend
to get filtered out and kind of
disregarded and left and then what
you're left with to focus on is all the
stuff that makes you feel worse and the
negative stuff now this is something
that I'm personally very guilty of all
the time for example instead of focusing
on all the positive comments that you
guys very kindly leave on the videos I
will often scroll through and I'll be
like I'll disregard all the positive
comments and I'll see one negative
comment and then that comment is the one
that I'm thinking about for hours and
sometimes even days maybe sometimes even
weeks at a time which is just really
unhealthy and not particularly helpful
and you might have noticed this in your
own life as well like let's say you're
doing an exam and you know you you the
mind fixates on the questions that we
know we got wrong rather than all of the
hopefully more questions that we got
right and this Mentor filter is
something that used to be very useful
back in the day like you know our brains
are survival machines and they've
evolved to make us very aware of any
Potential Threat to our survival so back
in the day when you're worried about
whether you might get mauled by a lion
or whether you might get ostracized from
your tribe and therefore get mold by a
lion the mental filter for negativity is
very helpful because you're hyper aware
of like anything you say that the
village Elder might misconstrue and then
end up kicking you out of the tribe or
anything in your environment that can
potentially be harmful but in the
current world that we're in where we're
not fighting for our survival and we
don't really have those sorts of risks
the Mind hasn't yet evolved to take that
into account and so it's always hyper
aware of anything that potentially
negative in the environment around us
which then obviously contributes to
stress and anxiety in a somewhat
needless fashion and so naturally the
key here is to recognize that this is in
fact a cognitive bias that this negative
mental filter does exist and to remind
ourselves consciously to pay more
attention to the positive things in our
life not just the negative ones and if
you're interested in getting a positive
thing in your life every Sunday you
might like to check out my completely
free email newsletter that's called
Sunday Snippets basically every Sunday I
send a short email with some thoughts
for the week you know stuff that I've
been thinking about stuff I've been
reading and learning and some links to
things like books and articles and
videos and podcasts that I found
particularly valuable there are over
400,000 people that get this completely
free email every week and it's totally
free you can unsubscribe anytime so you
might like to check that out by heading
over to ali.com suunday or hitting the
link in the video description tip number
six the mindfulness muscle and again
mindfulness is a bit of a buzzword in
the mental health space but there seems
to be this idea often if you Google
images of mindfulness that it's all
about taking a hot bath or like lighting
a candle or doing your skincare routine
and it can absolutely be all of those
things but the real value of mindfulness
is that it's all about focusing on the
present and not allowing our thoughts to
run wild now in Dr Julie's case she
talked about how she would use
mindfulness during stressful periods of
her life she'd go for a run in the
afternoon and as she would run she would
set herself the task of just focusing on
the sound of her footsteps on the path
and this can sometimes be really
difficult because the mind loves to
bring us back to all of the things that
are stressing us out it's not that you
have this goal of ultimate focus and no
other thoughts distract you and you know
a kind of Monk style kind of image you
know that stereotypical thing that that
people think of it was more that I chose
I constantly made a choice about where I
was going to place my attention in those
moments and that gave me you know for
this sort of half hour jog or whatever
it was it meant that I chose not to
worry for that time I chose not to
overthink everything I knew I couldn't
do anything about it right I'm out in
the nether Forest running so I chose to
just focus on the Here and Now for that
time it was in those sort of micro
moments a little break for my brain but
it was work in a sense that I had to
keep bringing my attention back and
that's the thing is mindfulness isn't
sort of an indulgent rest you know it's
not like deep
relaxation it's it's almost gym for the
mind so you're building that mental
muscle to be able to notice where your
mind is notice if it's helpful for you
or not and then bring it back to now now
mindfulness is something that we all
need to work on this whole idea of
staying in the present moment and not
letting our thoughts run wild it's
something I personally do struggle with
because I often find myself you know
with my mind wandering and apparently
meditation is really helpful for this
there are so many studies that show that
meditation really helps with mindfulness
which is great for mental health I've
been trying to incorporate meditation
into my life I haven't quite figured out
a way of actually doing it every single
day but it's something I'm actively
working on just because the benefits of
meditation are so huge and tip number
seven the self soothing box now Dr Julie
talks about this idea of creating for
yourself a self- soothing box which is
like this proverbial box of strategies
and activities and tools that bring you
comfort that help soothe you that you
can use as a sort of self-help literally
technique if you exper experiencing
stress or anxiety or any anything like
that it's the idea that it's kind of
mindful to say you use all of your
senses to um to help create that feeling
of safety and that's really what you
want to do is bring a sense of safeness
to the moment it might be a piece of
music that that you know kind of
generates certain feelings for you or it
might be a perfume that you associate
with love and safety like um your mom's
perfume or lavender or something like
that or it might be something that you
can taste that you enjoy that kind of
brings you to the present or lots of
different things so you can use all
different sentences so you can put
different things in a box to kind of
soothe you through difficult moments so
these are seven evidence-based
strategies that I've personally been
finding quite helpful as a way of
managing stress and anxiety and various
different parts of life if you need any
more help and support when it comes to
your mental health I'll put links to
some really helpful resources down in
the video description and if you do feel
like you're not coping then do please
consider reaching out to someone for
help self-help is all very good and
obviously I'm a huge fan of it but it's
really helpful to be able to talk to
other people about the struggles that
we're going through but speaking of
self-help one of the most effective ways
I've personally found of managing my own
Stress and Anxiety is journaling and if
you're interested in how you can apply
journaling to your life you might like
to check out this video over here which
is my Ultimate Guide to journaling for
better mental health and mental Clarity
and to help figure out what you actually
want to do with your life so thank you
so much for watching have a great day
and I'll see you in the next video
bye-bye
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