Top 3 Mistakes Men Make With Women: What Never to Do
Summary
TLDRThe transcript captures a dynamic conversation discussing societal norms and values, particularly focusing on the concept of being a 'good man' and the implications of modern dating influenced by social media platforms like Instagram. The participants debate the importance of traditional courtship, the role of loyalty and honesty in relationships, and the impact of public attention and validation on individuals' self-worth. They also touch on the changing dynamics of privacy and boundaries in relationships, with a strong emphasis on the potential negative effects of social media on personal connections and the quest for genuine human interaction.
Takeaways
- 😀 The conversation revolves around the changing social norms and values, particularly focusing on dating etiquette and the role of technology in modern relationships.
- 👨🦱 One of the speakers emphasizes that being a 'good man' means being faithful, emotionally and spiritually supportive, and believes that loyalty is the highest gift a man can give to a woman.
- 👤 Another speaker differentiates between faithfulness and honesty, suggesting that honesty is a more crucial aspect of being a good man, as it encompasses loyalty.
- 👥 There's a discussion about the expectations and responsibilities of men and women in relationships, and how societal perceptions have evolved over time.
- 📱 The impact of social media, particularly Instagram, on relationships and the way people seek validation and attention is highlighted, with concerns about the potential for unnecessary exposure and drama.
- 🚫 A strong opinion is expressed against tagging significant others on social media, advocating for privacy and the prevention of unwanted attention or followers.
- 🤔 The speakers ponder the idea of what it means to be remembered as a 'good man', noting a survey result where a vast majority of men expressed this desire, contrasting it with the lack of a similar sentiment among women.
- 💬 There's an acknowledgment of the disparity between the attention received from many versus the value of attention from a significant other, with a debate on the importance of validation from a partner versus strangers.
- 👗 The conversation touches on the changing attitudes towards modesty and the ease with which people, particularly women, share revealing images on social media platforms.
- 👀 A comparison is made between the attention women receive on social media and the attention they receive from their partners, with a suggestion that some women may seek validation beyond their relationships.
- 🌐 The script discusses the broader implications of social media on dating and relationships, suggesting that the ease of access to potential partners may contribute to infidelity and a shift in how relationships are formed and maintained.
Q & A
Why did the man not come to the door to meet the woman's parents before taking her daughter on a date?
-The man did not come to the door because times have changed, and it may not be seen as necessary or appropriate to meet the woman's parents before a date as it might have been in the past.
What does the speaker mean by 'shiverers' in the context of dating?
-The term 'shiverers' is not explicitly defined in the script, but it seems to refer to traditional dating customs that are not followed in the scenario being discussed.
What does the speaker consider as the most important aspect of being a good man?
-The speaker considers being faithful, emotionally and spiritually present, and giving loyalty as the most important aspects of being a good man.
Why does the speaker believe that honesty can sometimes outweigh faithfulness in a relationship?
-The speaker believes that honesty can outweigh faithfulness because it represents a form of loyalty and transparency that is crucial for a healthy relationship.
What does the speaker suggest about the role of social media, particularly Instagram, in modern dating?
-The speaker suggests that social media, especially Instagram, has changed the dynamics of dating by making it easier for people to seek attention and validation from a wider audience rather than just their partners.
How does the speaker view the impact of social media on the values and behaviors of young people?
-The speaker views the impact of social media on young people as largely negative, suggesting that it contributes to a loss of traditional values and encourages behaviors such as seeking attention and validation online.
What advice does the speaker give regarding posting about one's partner on social media?
-The speaker advises against tagging or giving out too much information about one's partner on social media to avoid unwanted attention and potential drama.
Why does the speaker argue that women might seek validation from strangers on social media rather than just their partners?
-The speaker argues that the instant gratification and dopamine hit from likes and comments on social media can be addictive, leading women to seek validation from a broader audience.
What does the speaker suggest about the difference between attention from a partner versus attention from strangers on social media?
-The speaker suggests that while attention from a partner is important, the attention from strangers on social media can be more exciting and validating due to its public and widespread nature.
How does the speaker describe the change in dating dynamics due to the advent of social media platforms like Instagram?
-The speaker describes the change as making dating easier but potentially more superficial, as people can now scroll through thousands of potential partners and seek validation from a large audience rather than focusing on a single relationship.
What does the speaker imply about the desire for public attention and validation in the context of social media?
-The speaker implies that the desire for public attention and validation is strong, with many people, including those in relationships, seeking likes and positive comments from a wide audience on social media.
Outlines
🚫 Modern Dating Norms and Good Men
The speaker discusses the changing norms in dating and relationships, emphasizing that it's not necessary for a man to come to a woman's door before a date, as times have changed. They argue that some traditional gestures have become less significant, and it's more about personal preferences. The conversation also touches on the idea of what constitutes a 'good man,' with the speaker valuing loyalty and faithfulness as key attributes, rather than material gifts. They believe that controlling one's desires and being emotionally and spiritually present is the essence of being a good partner.
🔍 The Role of Social Media in Relationships
The speaker delves into the impact of social media, particularly Instagram, on relationships and dating. They advise against tagging one's partner on social media to avoid unwanted attention and potential drama. The speaker also shares insights from a research survey indicating that a significant number of men want to be remembered as 'good men,' which they find intriguing, as they haven't seen a similar desire among women to be remembered as 'good women.' The conversation highlights the perceived differences in how men and women engage with social media and the potential risks it poses to relationships.
🤔 Privacy Concerns and Social Media Etiquette
The discussion continues with concerns about privacy on social media, especially Instagram. The speaker argues against tagging significant others, as it can lead to unnecessary exposure and complications. They express the opinion that direct messaging (DMs) should be limited to known contacts and that having DMs open can lead to issues in relationships. The conversation also touches on the broader topic of how social media has changed the dynamics of dating and the potential for infidelity due to the increased options and accessibility it provides.
👥 The Impact of Instagram on Self-Worth and Validation
The speaker explores how Instagram can affect self-worth and the need for validation. They argue that the platform allows users to create their own 'stardom' through likes and comments, which can be addictive. The conversation suggests that the attention and admiration received on social media may not be as fulfilling as that from a significant other, but it still holds a certain appeal. The speaker also challenges the idea that women may value the acknowledgment of their beauty from multiple men over that of their partner, suggesting that this is a misrepresentation of most women's desires.
🌟 The Desire for Stardom and Social Media's Influence
In this paragraph, the speaker reflects on the universal desire to be recognized and admired, which they relate to the appeal of being a 'superstar.' They suggest that Instagram provides a platform for individuals to achieve a form of stardom through social validation in the form of likes and followers. The speaker also discusses the emotional impact of receiving attention from celebrities or people with status, contrasting it with the value of attention from a partner. The conversation highlights the complex relationship between social media, self-esteem, and the quest for recognition.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Shiverers
💡Faithfulness
💡Loyalty
💡Honesty
💡Traditional Values
💡Social Media
💡Attention
💡Likes
💡Self-Presentation
💡Privacy
💡Modern Relationships
Highlights
Discussion on whether it's necessary for a man to come to a woman's door before a date, reflecting on changing social norms.
The modern perspective that young people often prefer not to have their parents involved in dating rituals.
The comparison between past and present dating practices, with a focus on the evolution of courtship.
Concerns about the impact of social media on values and the concept of 'shiverers' being outdated.
The changing attitudes towards nudity and the influence of social media platforms like Instagram.
An analysis of the behavior of men who leave negative comments on women's photos and the character of these individuals.
The importance of being faithful as a defining characteristic of a good man, according to one of the speakers.
A contrasting view on what makes a good man, emphasizing honesty and the ability to receive as well as give.
A research finding that a majority of men want to be remembered as a 'good man', highlighting a common desire for positive recognition.
The observation that women do not commonly express a similar desire to be remembered as 'good women'.
Advice against tagging significant others on social media to avoid unnecessary attention and potential drama.
The potential risks of opening direct messages from unknown individuals on social media platforms.
A debate on the appropriateness of keeping direct messages open and the trust within a relationship.
The impact of Instagram on dating dynamics and the increased ease of meeting potential partners.
The role of social media in facilitating infidelity due to the increased options and connectivity it provides.
An argument that the attention and validation from social media likes can be more influential than a partner's affirmation.
The desire for public recognition and how Instagram provides a platform for individuals to achieve a level of 'superstardom'.
The comparison between the value of public validation versus personal affirmations from a partner.
Transcripts
so here's the thing it's not shiverers
because you're not coming to the door to
meet me then take my daughter on a date
in the same breath it's not happening no
I'm not saying that I'm just saying like
to to her to your point right like he
didn't come to your door you didn't
think anything of it and I'm think I'm
thinking logically right like I'm
thinking logically in terms of so for
men they're going to do what makes sense
it makes sense back then for a man to
come to a woman's door right she's with
her family you know times are different
it may not make sense now so I
understand why it didn't occur to you as
a red flag or a flag at all that he
didn't come to it was late for the a
reservation to had to get early get all
to me we've brought that up because this
is a conversation we've had on a
previous episode about if it's the right
thing to do for a man to come to the
door or not so we had a whole shebang
about that me I personally don't care
and even if I was 15 16 I would not have
anyone come to my house to meet my
parents or to say hey I'm taking Amanda
out on a date Mom Dad I'm going out I'll
see you later bye and I'm running out
the door that's pretty modern exactly I
am I literally no one has to meet anyone
I'm going about my way and that's all it
ever really is you last D in my house
that's an example of things leaving
naturally hell no that's an example of
what I said the world is changing
naturally and so are the kids we're
losing kind of our values so shivy is
kind of one of those things that is
being sacrificed but I think about it in
the sense of it was never a sacrifice it
was just momentary like it was just a
simple gesture that
was in to to have some type of
Separation right just like now right you
have women who are getting naked at a
way easier weight than before right
right women are getting naked easier
they're getting naked on Instagram
they're getting naked for all different
but 30 years ago you couldn't be seen
without with your nipples out showing
through a see through have you seen the
comments even guys are disgusted by by
women they be hating you see a guy in
the comment hating look look I'm sorry
they're seriously they're seriously
saying like yo y'all are not leaving
anything left to be desired now look
outrageous I know that sounds so
positive but them dudes be hating like I
promise you I just you know I'm a guy
yeah I have guy Parts guy thoughts up
you know I'm a guy I read comments of
guy
look you know killing the girl for being
naked I always go let me tap your page
real quick let me see how you come let
me see if you really and usually he's a
weirdo he's a weirdo 87 followers
following 2000 but you a troll bro like
I I never seen no successful dudes
dissing girls naked I promise you don't
believe me try it go to a girl page and
click on every haters page nobody has
the always weird with a weird hat like
this they fish
know I don't see no cool dude saying get
dressed they're haters I'm sorry I like
you though you know what the issue my
question my question though is like what
I I like that you're using the term good
man and I like what you're saying and
it's giving me some thought about some
research that I've done but I'm curious
when you guys as a man I'm asking the
gentleman in particular here what when
you say that you want to be a good man
or you think of a good man what does
that look like what does that
mean really I just want to be faithful I
think that's when I say I want to be a
good man I just want to be faithful
because like it's funny but that's
probably the number one thing that men
struggle with okay going to work and
paying bills D thing that any man gonna
do regardless okay being faithful is a
thing that's not done regardless that's
an option for a guy so I think when I
say I want to be a good man I want to be
there for her like emotionally
spiritually and be faithful okay I think
the most I think giving a girl your
loyalty is the highest gift that you can
give her because you're controlling your
your desires on a on a mental level
physical level spiritual so me giving
you all those things is what I mean by
me being a good man I don't mean buying
you bags or gifts that's something that
any just spoke can do but when a man
gives you a ring marries you and gives
you his loyalty that's what I mean by
being a good man that's the one thing
that every man can do right you agree
you that's what I well I don't think
that I mean I think honestly when it
comes to faithfulness first of all I
separate faithfulness and loyalty so I
don't agree entirely but I do understand
what he's saying um when I say A Good
Man is a honest man and sometimes that's
not
faithful but if you're honest that
outweighs faithful because honesty is
loyalty I I I could get with that right
so um a good man to me that I IR or that
I am and continuously working to
maintain and sustain is being an honest
man a caring man and literally being a
receiving man cuz sometimes I Cann not
receive things because I'm so focused on
what I have planned for us right so in
the moment I might miss certain things
so um I think a good man acknowledges
and makes the adjustments that is
necessary for the longevity of his
household and you know marriage whatever
that may that picture may look like so
those are some of the things that I
believe is what a good man um is and
does yeah like I asked because I did a
research I did like a research survey
with um with guys just to kind of figure
out like what is it that men are in need
of I want to make sure I'm tracking with
them so anytime I'm doing any kind of
work support coaching I always get my
feedback directly from men like I don't
just make up my own stuff and I saw
something that was like in like an
incredible phenomenon I'm going to I'm
going to label it a phenomenon because
it was crazy an open-ended question
about how a man wants to consider
himself and be in his family and I want
to say maybe like
8780 maybe 87 maybe as as far as 93% of
men said the exact same thing it was not
multiple choice okay there was nothing
in the survey that you know gave a clue
to this mhm 87 93% of men said I want to
be this is the exact phrase on their own
valtion they were this is digital so
they didn't they weren't together in a
room I want to be remembered as a good
man it was back to back to back I'm
looking at every single survey to the
point where I had to call my friend and
was like yo am I bugging what is this
he's a guy so I was just like what is
this because I've never heard a group of
women say I want to be remembered as a
good woman
so I just never heard that before I'm
just like what is that they don't want
to remember they don't care about
that get into that though it's crazy
because that's crazy because I never
know I'm happy I no no no thank you for
doing that thank you we're up now never
I've been on Instagram my whole life
I've been on IG my whole life I've been
on IG my whole life I've never seen a
woman inspired to be a good woman a good
woman
it's always about a guy being a good
woman or better provider I never heard a
girl saying I want to be better at
anything but at receiving and that might
sound like I'm overdoing it but IG shows
you that the man is a producer yes and
the girl is a what a consumer I never
hear is fake IG is the fakest real thing
we have it's the new Hollywood it's fake
but it's real I think we got to put IG
as part of our new
reality part of our reality number a
video conference a business a sex app
escorting app one sh that's why I always
tell you don't tag your girl in the
picture I need to hear this I'mma tell
you one thing you should never do with
the woman that you love it's okay to
post your girl post the dinner post the
times you have might get her backside
you might want to show off her body but
what you don't do is give her her phone
number or tag her it's the same thing IG
is what a video call app a texting app a
location app you see her old pictures
her new pictures keep your girls link to
her phone or her eyes to yourself never
tag your girl why would you want to give
the world your girls destination or
location never do that you post a person
post a time never give a link to her
directly and it's not insecure it's not
oh that's insecure you're overthinking
it's why would I give you more but I can
have the option to give you less it's
it's silly never tag your
girl simple I would never tag my girl
because once the tag is put on the
picture what happens any person is going
to click on it click profile views once
you yeah once you tag your girl and
you're somebody you're opening her up to
people following just to be nosy then
your ex come along then her friends come
along along oh I don't like her she
ain't this then it comes fake Pages come
along the drama only starts when people
have the access to your person but never
give them that access keep it to where
though y who is she he he don't tag her
leave it like that be a mystery but keep
wifey cuff right or wrong do you agree
with that or no I agree I agree yeah I'm
not tagging my wife for what Rico hop in
her
DM I can find [ __ ] sing behind he got
glasses like nah n you and look I don't
care how cocky you are remember it's
going to be somebody in the comments
real arrogant and cocky like yeah man
that's that he insecure right no no I
don't want to open my door for bad news
sure I don't want to like experience
things that I can prevent maybe if you
find it on your own you're you're a
creep right you found it on your own
reverse search you're weird reverse
search you're weird and you need help
it's not about a
reverse you're just ambitious take
somebody's picture you're
ambitious pretty simp you can put the
girl picture on any image on Google and
reverse search it you'll find her all
right I've done that with restaurants I
mean I want to see why I wouldn't do it
with a person I want I did it with an ex
before I want to see what the [ __ ] she
was doing like are you a ho let me just
the pict you in the website I understand
that never tag your girl just like come
on like remember IG people call Ig a fun
app but it's
really her phone number right she can
FaceTime you text her email her and see
her that's worse than giving her a phone
numbering FaceTime calls from IG it's a
little s that's a little option to even
have it available when I see somebody
calling me on Instagram I'll be like
video calls freak me out it's like bro
please that say that a mistake like
please tell me you were trying to get me
press the button on top by mistake so
let me ask you a question right are you
going too far cuz Beyonce you can't even
DM
Beyonce try you can't try R DM Beyonce
you can't DM Beyonce right so he's
mentioned Beyonce thing is this go too
my thing is this if it's your wife why
is her DMS turned on
then why is she if that's your wife why
is her her DM should be turned off there
should be nobody that she does not fou
that should be able to send her that DM
and know Rico let's do one more thing
why is you even reading your DMs you got
a whole boyfriend why are you in your DM
seeing that request yeah why are you
doing that see that tells meing it or
low ke bird thirsty cuz I'm a guy and I
don't even go on my DMs and read my
request he's a very egotistical man no
I'm not that but if I'm dating you and
some dude named smoke Amar 85 DMS you it
says one new message don't open it you
know why cuz he ain't saying here goes
some money million dollars I have a job
for you he's said hello how are you hey
beautiful hey beautiful hi where you so
she shouldn't even be to feeli them she
just shouldn't be able to see them at
all listen it's unrealistic you feel
it's unrealistic a cousin family it
could be it doesn't have to always be
how about this I think that's her reach
she better go on Facebook it's in her
bag going you know what I'm saying like
any why is it a reach any listen I've
had family I've reached out to family
I've been able to find family on
Instagram so you know DM and all of that
and say hey what's up how are you God
bless your heart sugar you're a smart
woman and I really admire you I
genuinely do but if that's your family
they got another way to get in contact
with you no I mean 1844 guys hold on
hold on hold on4
you guys just said what Instagram was it
is a phone number it is a conference it
is the New Age way of getting in touch
with people people that you have lost
touch with I have family that's in
Massachusetts in Boston they're in Cali
they're all over and you know what I'm
saying we you know sometimes the the
older parents you know they grow apart
you see something you're like hey what's
up this is my cousin I'mma hit them up
and say hello so my question is is it
that you don't want her to even be able
to feeli through those comments or she
she just not have a DM at all IG Ru love
Anyway by the way cuz think about it Y
how could you really be happy IG kind of
this new IG and it kind of really made
dating so hard for us both CU before to
meet a baddie had to be out and about
dress correctly the right moment the
right energy has to happen it was hard
to meet somebody it was by chance gas
station Walmart whatever now I can sit
home and fill through thousands of
people I have options nowadays we cheat
more because we have more options yes
back then David and and Mary he went to
work she had a job too it was nothing
going on really you in that neighborhood
IG is always going on so my thing is
let's be realistic cheat in the palm of
your hand no woman GNA not go in her DM
that's going to happen but as a dude I
will want her to not be in there
searching sure somebody who you might
look familiar oh I might know him click
it but if you know it's so a dude trying
to highight at you or blue check why
entertain it cuz we're not perfect see
see before
IG no the love and attention and
admiration came from her her man he gave
it all to
her it could be a stranger it could be
this dude it could be that dude so now
she's seeking that what did I Mana say I
said it came from Facebook before I
before instag myace said it all let's be
real my young y
a my thing my thing is this even if a
thousand men comment and say that a
woman is beautiful it's it does not
equate to her one man saying that she's
beautiful not the same that's
false y some black queens in here it's
salute but y'all are speaking for a very
small minority of women they love the th
likes is a fact she is speaking facts
you can have if you are in love with
your man I can have a thousand people
say it it will not hold as much weight
if my husband are you kiding Meo husband
is doing it you buing the craziest 85%
of women would do anything for likes hey
yo listen I
a Steph Curry has a wife yes he's been
with his wife before he was the Steph
Curry that we see today she still wanted
attention from the world she gets
jealous over him getting shoted out by
Drake she she had the even audacity to
fake take off a ring because another
dude was giving her attention women are
thirst for attention and hold on no no
no no no no hold on let me finish let me
finish let me finish right now let me
finish let me finish the crazy thing is
that we sit here and we try to deny the
reality and because you two don't fit in
the group you don't see how large it
really is because the fact that there's
women that are married and are in a
relationship but yet still want to go
ahead and pose in certain ways to get
certain likes likes are what dopamine
that's what they that's what they that's
what they equated to for a reason so so
now you get you're doing all this for
likes which is also what yes but you got
a man at home that man is telling you
you're beautiful too and it's but Chris
Brown said it twice but because it was
Chris Brown it's like yo you want
attention and you
want attention from the men with status
I feel like that's what women are aiming
for my man is a regular guy he might
work whatever job he he does me he
treats me right
but let one of these status dud come
into their come into their life I
believe you and Amanda like y'all don't
be on here lying I believe y'all but if
you tell me that getting 2,000 you look
good is better than my little one you
look good you're a goddamn lie I'm a I'm
a dude right and I love when a stranger
some girl named sugar5 call me handsome
I love it you know why because we all
want that attention we all want love and
IG has made it to where though and man
don't have to give it to you now it be
anybody across the world you want you
want my truth my morning I morning I in
the bed my first thing to do is I grab
my phone sure see who text me I check my
Ig we all do that and if you don't do
that then you a special person and God
bless you you're so different and you're
so unique if you're talking to any any
lady any woman right well we'll say is
is a girl she's a lady a woman and she
is saying think that a multiple men's
acknowledgement of her beauty means more
to her than her own man that woman is
not okay don't no first of all she would
never say that her it don't mean more to
her
M absolutely not but here's the thing
absolutely not when I post can I ask
everybody this and I'm getting a lot of
feedback I'm getting a lot of likes and
in my comments right but it be all my my
girls all my friends and they be like oh
girl this is cute hard eyes hard eyes
and I'm big daddy5 yeah exactly and when
all those creeps start coming I don't
even like their comments cuz I'm just
like if they wearing
AEP you see when when when what if it's
a boogie how about it's Jordan now what
now what now it changes cuz like yo but
you see what I'm
saying first of all if aie happened to
like my picture by chance then great for
me because I got his attention but I
didn't post that for his attention but
you see if my man comments and say baby
this is a fire picture and I'm like
that's everything that's my man and I'm
pinning the comment yes no you
won't that's SC yo can I all a minute
let me ask you a question I I want to
ask everybody this question when you
were a kid like a little little little
little kid and they asked you what did
you want to be when you grew up grow up
what was
it I used to lie so I don't remember
exactly okay you still be lying but all
right how about this you just said I was
telling the truth let's let's let's do
this
then y'all are toxic who here at one
point in their life wanted to be a
superstar sure yeah no no let's be real
who Okay okay so what a bad childhood
you had so now I'm playing with so now
when we take it and we look at it when
most people in their life wants to be a
superstar and I also wanted to be a
butterfly as well
okay look just run with it run with it
most people wanted to be a superstar
this is a fact right most kids and or
adult want or wanted to be a superstar
you know why why we want glorify being
glorified we want the glorification of
it so what does Instagram do allow you
to be your own little superstar yes you
get your own little glorification on you
might get 10,000 likes you might get
2,000 likes you might get 200 but guess
what you're still building your own
stardom you're still building your own
glory and when people glorify you you
will always eat it up that is the that
is the that is like the main point that
we all have gives you your own
website and that's what Instagram is
Instagram fame Instagram everybody has
their IG is their own little website
like it's like their own little thing
work so look so then don't sit here and
try to tell me that don't mean nothing
to you 10,000 you look bomb you great d
d is going to equate to one person
that's he said 1.4 million views on that
post you smile hard you was like I know
that was a good one you you care about
that
see it is I didn't I'm quantif million
on Tik Tok million you can quantify 15
million M you can quantify you can
quantify and and be able to say that
even with all of that right like that's
dope that's awesome I don't know any of
those people right we're talking about a
grown woman's perspective versus the ma
the what you guys seem to believe is the
masses of people that are just in
they're emotionally inep
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