Emotional Dysregulation: What It Is, How to Stop It

Summary

Emotional dysregulation is a common challenge for individuals with PTSD or CPTSD, often leading to overwhelming reactions that worsen situations. The video highlights how to manage these intense emotions through practical techniques, such as slowing down conversations, restraining impulsive reactions, emergency writing, and engaging in physical activity. By recognizing when emotions are escalating and using tools to stay grounded, individuals can avoid creating new trauma, preserve relationships, and express themselves in a calm, constructive way. Ultimately, the goal is to manage emotional dysregulation and foster deeper, healthier connections.

Takeaways

• 😀 Emotional dysregulation is a common symptom of complex PTSD (CPTSD), where emotions become overwhelming and disproportionate to the situation.
• 😀 Feeling your emotions is not always beneficial, especially when dealing with trauma, as emotions can act like a 'horrible house guest' or a destructive tornado.
• 😀 Emotional dysregulation can lead to outbursts or withdrawing emotionally, both of which can harm relationships and create new trauma.
• 😀 A common example of emotional dysregulation is overreacting to a small incident, like an argument with a partner, because past trauma triggers overwhelming feelings.
• 😀 It's important to manage emotions before they escalate to avoid damaging relationships and repeating past trauma patterns.
• 😀 Visualizing emotional dysregulation as an airplane taking off can help you keep your emotions grounded and under control.
• 😀 Key techniques to calm emotions include pausing to notice your emotional reaction, slowing interactions down, and preparing to view the situation differently.
• 😀 Using 'restraint of pen and tongue'—avoiding sending angry messages or speaking during emotional overwhelm—helps prevent regretful actions or words.
• 😀 Writing down your fears and resentments (e.g., in a journal or in a safe space) is an effective way to release emotions and regain control of your thoughts.
• 😀 Engaging in physical activity, like exercise, helps to release stress and calm the body, promoting emotional regulation.
• 😀 It's essential to avoid discussing sensitive issues when emotionally dysregulated, as this can make matters worse. Wait until you feel calmer and clearer to express yourself.

Q & A

What is emotional dysregulation, and why is it particularly challenging for people with PTSD?

Emotional dysregulation refers to the difficulty in managing or controlling emotions, often resulting in overreactions, emotional bursts, or flat emotional states. For people with PTSD, especially complex PTSD, this is challenging because the emotional responses are out of proportion to the triggering event, and they may be connected to past trauma, making it harder to control or understand these feelings.

How does emotional dysregulation manifest in everyday situations?

Emotional dysregulation can manifest as intense emotional reactions, such as crying at inappropriate times, anger outbursts, or emotional numbness. For example, a person might cry at work or have an angry outburst during a customer service call, even though the situation does not warrant such a reaction.

Why can giving in to emotional impulses make a situation worse?

Giving in to emotional impulses, such as reacting impulsively in an argument, can escalate the situation. It often leads to actions or words that cause further emotional harm, potentially creating new trauma and damaging relationships. This may result in regret or a loss of trust.

Can you provide an example of how emotional dysregulation could negatively affect a relationship?

An example might involve a partner forgetting dinner plans. The person with emotional dysregulation might overreact, feeling abandoned, and react disproportionately—perhaps by packing a suitcase or throwing the partner out. This could escalate the situation and harm the relationship, even though the event (forgetting dinner) wasn't a severe issue.

What are some strategies to prevent emotional dysregulation from escalating?

Strategies include recognizing when you're emotionally dysregulated and pausing to assess the situation. Slowing down the interaction, restraining from saying anything impulsive, and redirecting your focus to calming techniques like breathing or physical activities can help prevent escalation.

What does the metaphor of 'keeping the airplane on the ground' mean in terms of emotional regulation?

The metaphor of 'keeping the airplane on the ground' represents the idea of preventing emotional reactions from spiraling out of control. It refers to maintaining emotional regulation, even in the face of intense feelings, by taking actions to stay grounded and avoid overwhelming emotional responses.

What is one technique for managing anger during emotional dysregulation?

A helpful technique for managing anger is called 'restraint of pen and tongue.' It involves avoiding saying or sending any messages when angry, as this can escalate emotional overwhelm. Instead, you can promise to express yourself later when you're calmer.

What is the purpose of writing down your emotions, and when can it be done?

Writing down your emotions, such as fears and resentments, serves as a form of emotional release and helps to gain perspective. This can be done anytime, even in places like a bathroom, a movie theater, or in the middle of the night. It's a useful tool for getting out of emotional dysregulation without having a meltdown.

How does physical activity help with emotional regulation?

Physical activity, such as running, doing squats, or walking briskly, helps to release stress chemicals from the body. This can assist in reducing emotional overwhelm and re-grounding a person when they are feeling dysregulated.

Why is it important to wait before having difficult conversations during emotional dysregulation?

Waiting to have difficult conversations until after emotional dysregulation has subsided is important because trying to discuss sensitive topics while dysregulated can escalate the situation further. Emotions like anger or panic can cloud judgment, and waiting until calmer helps ensure a more constructive, clearer, and empathetic conversation.