How I'm shaking up my life and creating change in my 50s

Summary

In this video, the speaker candidly discusses his journey to overcome fear and embrace risk-taking for a richer life experience. He shares his personal story of moving to Europe and learning to fly a drone, illustrating how dissatisfaction with the status quo, a strong desire for change, and taking a leap of faith can lead to life-changing experiences. The speaker also introduces the concept of 'playfulness' as a crucial element in risk-taking, which he explores through his own experiences and the support of therapy. He invites viewers to reflect on their own risk-taking and to share their stories.

Takeaways

• 😟 The speaker acknowledges being held back by fear and negative thoughts, limiting his experiences.
• 🌍 He highlights the importance of taking risks to live a rich, fulfilling life, using his move to Europe as a prime example.
• 🧠 The speaker's mind often tries to keep him safe by avoiding risks, but he recognizes the need to overcome these thoughts.
• 📋 Breaking free from scripted behavior, the speaker experiments with a more natural, unscripted way of speaking in the video.
• 🔄 He introduces a formula for risk-taking, which includes dissatisfaction with the status quo, a strong desire for change, and a leap of faith.
• ✈️ The move to Europe is portrayed as a major leap into possibility, which was successful due to the combination of motivation and action.
• 🎮 The speaker shares his fear of flying a drone but describes how a playful mindset helped him overcome his anxiety and enjoy the experience.
• 🧒 Playfulness is presented as an essential ingredient for taking risks, as it allows for freedom and creativity without overthinking.
• 💡 The speaker's therapist plays a crucial role in challenging him to step outside his comfort zone, especially in social situations.
• 🌱 The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of continuous growth, taking more risks, and embracing adventure to live fully.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the speaker's message in the video?

The main theme is the speaker's journey toward overcoming fear, taking risks, and embracing possibilities in life by stepping out of his comfort zone.

What has traditionally held the speaker back from taking risks?

The speaker has been held back by negative and fearful thoughts, which have kept him in a 'safe space' and stopped him from fully experiencing life.

How does the speaker describe the contrast between his fearful mind and the concept of possibility?

The speaker explains that his fearful mind focuses on avoiding danger and waiting for the right conditions, while the concept of possibility encourages exploration, playfulness, and stepping out of his comfort zone to experience life.

What is the 'formula' the speaker mentions for taking risks?

The speaker's formula for taking risks consists of three parts: dissatisfaction with the status quo, a desire for something new, and taking a blind leap of faith.

What example does the speaker give of successfully taking a risk?

The speaker refers to his and his wife's decision to move to Europe as a successful example of taking a big risk, which involved selling their house, moving their belongings, and starting a new chapter in life.

What role does playfulness have in the speaker's approach to risk-taking?

Playfulness is a key ingredient for the speaker in taking risks. He discovered that when he allowed himself to have fun and let go, such as flying a drone or moving to Europe, he was more open to possibilities and enjoyed the experience more.

How does the speaker describe his experience with flying a drone?

The speaker describes being initially fearful of flying the drone, worrying about losing or crashing it. However, after being encouraged by his son and embracing a playful mindset, he overcame his fear and enjoyed the experience of flying in sport mode.

What challenge did the speaker's therapist give him regarding integrating into French culture?

The therapist challenged the speaker to visit a coffee shop for 10 consecutive days to practice French and immerse himself in French culture. Initially, the speaker was resistant and uncomfortable but gradually improved and began to enjoy the challenge.

What lesson did the speaker learn from his therapist's challenge?

The speaker learned that stepping out of his comfort zone and taking small, repeated risks, like interacting in French at coffee shops, helped him grow and become more open to new experiences.

What does the speaker hope to achieve by taking more risks in the future?

The speaker hopes to live a richer and fuller life by continuously taking risks, traveling more, and exploring new opportunities both alone and with his family.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Embracing Fear and Possibility

The speaker reflects on living a life filled with fear and how those thoughts have kept him confined. He emphasizes the importance of taking chances to fully experience life, contrasting his fearful thoughts that hold him back with the idea of possibility, which invites excitement and adventure. While fear urges caution, the speaker recognizes that to live a fulfilling life, he must step out of his comfort zone. He also acknowledges that speaking unscripted in the video is a challenge, as he typically relies on prepared scripts.

05:01

🛠 Therapy and Overcoming Creative Stagnation

The speaker transitions to discussing the benefits of therapy, particularly the value of external guidance to tackle internal challenges. He introduces Better Help as a sponsor and emphasizes how easy it is to switch therapists and receive support. He then shares a personal story about overcoming a creative block by investing in new equipment, including a drone, which initially caused him anxiety. After overcoming his fear of crashing the drone, he recounts how his son inspired him to fly it confidently, leading to a thrilling experience that allowed him to break free from his limitations.

10:03

🎮 Finding Playfulness Through Exploration

The speaker reflects on the importance of playfulness, a key factor in overcoming fear and embracing new experiences. He describes how his recent drone-flying adventure and his family's move to Europe were infused with a playful spirit that made the experiences more enjoyable and successful. He explains that embracing this sense of play allowed him to step out of his usual cautious mindset, and he highlights three ways to cultivate playfulness: naturally through excitement, by consciously priming oneself, and with external support like therapy.

15:05

☕ Challenging Comfort Zones with Simple Tasks

The speaker shares a personal story about how his therapist challenged him to push beyond his comfort zone by practicing his French at local coffee shops for ten consecutive days. Initially resistant and uncomfortable, he gradually built the courage to engage more with the culture around him. This challenge helped him shift his mindset from avoiding discomfort to embracing small adventures. He recognizes that the hardest part was the mental hurdle of getting started, but eventually, the experience became an enjoyable challenge that helped him improve his language skills.

🚗 The Value of Taking Risks in Everyday Life

The speaker reflects on how taking risks in everyday situations, like speaking French or driving in Paris, offers valuable opportunities for growth. He notes that although some risks may seem daunting, they often lead to enriching experiences. By taking these small leaps of faith, he can break free from his comfort zone, live more fully, and build a habit of embracing challenges. He concludes by acknowledging that risk-taking is a continuous process, requiring cycles of courage and practice, but one that ultimately leads to a more adventurous and fulfilling life.

Keywords

💡Fear

Fear is a central theme of the video, representing the speaker's negative, limiting thoughts that have kept him in his 'safe space.' He explains how fear holds him back from experiencing life fully, manifesting in a cautious mindset that prevents him from taking risks. The speaker illustrates this by recounting his fear of flying a drone, fearing potential loss or reprimand.

💡Possibility

Possibility is presented as the opposite of fear in the video. It embodies the speaker's desire to explore, take risks, and experience life without being constrained by fear. The world is described as a 'playground' full of opportunities, and the speaker reflects on his move to Europe as an example of embracing possibility, where he and his partner pursued a new chapter in life with enthusiasm and openness.

💡Comfort Zone

The comfort zone represents a state of safety and routine, where the speaker has spent much of his life. However, he realizes that staying in this space limits his ability to live fully. Moving beyond his comfort zone is a recurring challenge, whether it's through flying a drone, taking trips, or interacting in French cafés. The speaker's journey is about pushing beyond this comfort zone to embrace adventure and personal growth.

💡Risk

Risk-taking is identified as essential for experiencing life fully. The speaker discusses how one's ability to take risks is influenced by dissatisfaction with the status quo, a desire for something new, and the courage to take a 'leap of faith.' His move to Europe is a prime example of embracing risk, as it required selling possessions and stepping into the unknown. He also talks about overcoming his fear of losing his drone as another example of taking risks.

💡Playfulness

Playfulness is described as a key ingredient in overcoming fear and embracing possibility. The speaker discovers that by approaching situations with a sense of play, he is able to let go of fear and enjoy the experience. This playfulness is evident when he flies his drone in 'sport mode,' inspired by his son's adventurous attitude. He links this concept to both his creative work and his personal adventures, such as moving to Europe.

💡Dissatisfaction

Dissatisfaction with the status quo is described as the first step in taking risks and pursuing new possibilities. The speaker explains that change often begins when one is 'really tired' of their current situation. His own dissatisfaction with life in the U.S. prompted him to move to Europe, signaling a readiness for a new adventure. This dissatisfaction acts as a driving force for personal transformation.

💡Leap of Faith

Taking a leap of faith is a critical action in the speaker’s formula for embracing possibility. It refers to acting despite uncertainty and fear, trusting that things will work out. The speaker's move to Europe is highlighted as a major leap of faith, where he and his partner sold their house and belongings to embark on a new life abroad. Similarly, flying his drone without overthinking it represents another leap of faith.

💡Therapy

Therapy is depicted as an essential tool for personal growth and overcoming fear. The speaker credits his therapist with helping him break free from limiting thoughts and push beyond his comfort zone. Therapy is compared to a coach guiding an athlete, providing external support that is critical for tackling emotional challenges. The speaker mentions therapy multiple times, emphasizing how it has helped him take risks, such as interacting with strangers in French cafés.

💡Adventure

Adventure is tied to the concept of possibility and is seen as the reward for stepping out of one’s comfort zone. The speaker describes his move to Europe as a significant adventure, full of challenges and rewards. Flying his drone in different modes is also framed as a small-scale adventure, where he confronts his fears and experiences the thrill of trying something new. Adventure symbolizes the speaker's desire to live a fuller, richer life.

💡Support

Support, particularly from his therapist and family, is presented as a key factor in the speaker’s ability to take risks and face his fears. His therapist challenges him to interact in French cafés, pushing him to practice and improve. Support also comes from his son, who inspires him to fly the drone in sport mode. The speaker highlights the importance of external guidance, whether from professionals or loved ones, in helping him step outside of his comfort zone.

Highlights

The speaker acknowledges his fearful nature and its impact on his life.

Realization that taking chances is essential for living a rich and full life.

The speaker's negative thoughts often hold him back from taking risks.

The concept of stepping out of one's comfort zone is presented as a way to experience life fully.

The speaker discusses the importance of courage and initiative in life's different aspects.

The speaker shares his experience of moving to Europe as a significant risk-taking moment.

A formula for risk-taking is introduced, involving dissatisfaction, desire, and taking a leap.

The speaker's experiment of speaking without a script is highlighted as a personal challenge.

The concept of playfulness as a key ingredient in risk-taking is introduced.

The speaker shares a story about learning to fly a drone despite his fears.

The importance of external support, like therapy, in overcoming fears is discussed.

The speaker's experience of integrating into French culture through daily coffee shop visits is shared.

The idea that risk-taking can become more natural with practice and support is explored.

The speaker reflects on the value of taking more chances in life and its impact on his personal growth.

The speaker invites viewers to share their own experiences with risk-taking.

The video concludes with the speaker expressing satisfaction with his experiment of unscripted speaking.

Transcripts

I've always been a fearful guy I've

always had these negative fearful

thoughts that have kept me in a box in

my sort of safe space and so for me to

get out into possibility into the world

has been a big deal it's always been a

big deal I am realizing that if I'm

going to live this rich and full life

that I keep talking about that I've

mentioned in a number of videos it is

essential for me to take more chances if

I don't take chances then I don't

experience life fully I have to have the

courage to step up to the plate and go

for it when it comes to different

aspects of life my mind the way it plays

out my thoughts my negative thoughts are

something like let's not do that that

thing out there is dangerous so let's

hold back okay and if we're going to do

it if we're going to get out there and

take a chance let's wait for the right

conditions to be in place okay that's my

fearful mind possibility on the other

hand says something like let's get out

there and play the world is a playground

there's so much to be seen and

experienced come on let's kind of our

comfort zone and let's do it well it's

easier set than done right because we

have these thoughts that will stop us

did in our tracks they have for me

certainly and I buy into them I let them

run the show anyway I'm going to dive

into this topic and I'm going to break

it down the best I can for my own

understanding and hopefully for yours as

well but I also wanted to mention that

in this video I am not referring to my

script in any shape or form okay and

that's a big deal for me I'm I'm the

type of guy who uh and I I feel nervous

right now okay I feel the nerves of

being in front of the camera delivering

just off the top of my head right just

having sort of a rough outline of what I

want to say but I'm the guy who has

traditionally written everything down

and has wanted to follow the script line

by line and that's made me stiff that's

made me be sort of in a box right

there's freedom on the other hand not

having the script and speaking to you

this way and just letting the thoughts

come to me as I go so anyway we'll see

how this goes I want to give a more

natural uh flowing version of me so this

in itself is an

experiment now back to possibility when

I look at possibility I I I kind of go

what are times when I've done that right

when I've gone for it and a big example

that comes to mind is obviously our move

to Europe that was a big deal where

Sicilia and I teamed up and we became

this dynamic duo that was going to go

just go get it we were going to go for

it and we did and it was this wonderful

experience that has landed us here in

France we have everything we ever wanted

and there's still possibility at every

step of the way it's all it's still

possible right whatever can happen and

so my mind my left brain right away says

okay so how let's analyze how did how is

it that that worked out and so I've come

up with a Nifty little formula that goes

something like this one's ability to

take on risk depends on three distinct

parts that I've come up with okay

there's the being dissatisfied with the

status quo you're tired with the way

things are but really tired okay you're

done plus the um I'm getting lost what

what was the next one plus a desire for

that new thing that you want you have a

vision for that thing that you want and

it's a strong pull in that direction

plus then obviously taking the big leap

right taking a blind leap of faith in

going for it so if I break down the

example of moving to Europe we have the

fact that we were really done with the

US after decades uh we were just

finished we were done in a chapter and

I've talked about this in previous

videos if you haven't watched my video

on leaving the US I'll leave a link uh

for you guys to check it out but the

fact is that we were really done there

was an interest in Europe we're from

Argentina buenos iris is very European

and the fact that our boys had moved to

Europe it was like there was a pull we

wanted that thing over there you could

say and then it was like okay we did go

to Portugal loved it came back and said

okay let's go diving into the deep end

right we're going to put the house on

the market get rid of most of our stuff

stick whatever small percentage into a

container and ship it across the ocean

and there we were processing visas

hopping on a plane and and off we went

into our adventure

that was just a a fantastic feeling what

an experience that was right I look at

that as a prime recent example of pure

possibility going forward now there is

another ingredient to this that I've

come to realize in the course of

developing this video that is crucial

that I will share with you in the

process of telling you a story I want to

pause briefly to talk about this video

sponsor better help if you've been

following along with this channel it

won't surprise you at all that I'm a

huge fan of therapy I think it's

instrumental to doing the internal work

that I describe because as I've come to

discover outside guidance is essential

to the process we simply can't do this

alone better help offers a strong

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video a while back I was feeling fed up

with my shots the way I was shooting

video right it was the same lenses same

types of shots I'm like you know let's

shake it up a little bit let me invest

in some equipment and sort of you know

stir up some new Creative Energy I go

ahead and among things I buy a drone and

droning to this day makes me so nervous

uh it took me months before I cracked it

open out of the box and we were here

months after buying it and I gave it a

test flight and then I did just I took

it up in the air just enough to see it

flying and I took it down that was it

for that day flying a drone triggers in

me uh uh an excessive amount of fear

that I'm going to lose it that I'm going

to crash it somewhere that someone will

reprimand me for flying it that's that's

a big one and so I've always been you

know sort of safe you could say about it

I've been cautious I'll go fly it but

just long enough to get what I need and

then I'm out of there fast forward a

little bit to when my son Nathan asked

me to get some drone shots of him in

these really beautiful yellow Fields

here in the countryside we get out to

shoot actually I should say first that I

was very hesitant at first because I'm

flying a drone and I'm flying it for him

and who knows what's going to happen

right right away the fear thoughts are

am I going to do okay it's something bad

going to happen but but I wanted to help

him out I wanted to spend time with him

it was a bonding opportunity and I

wanted to learn I mean why not so we get

out to these beautiful yellow fields and

he's showing me what he wants to do on

his drone right at one moment he goes

into sport mode and let me explain what

sport mode is on these things in case

you don't know sport mode is a

particular mode that lets you fly really

fast like Zoom through Landscapes but at

the expense of No Object detection the

Drone is not going to detect if you're

heading into something so it's not going

to warn you it's not going to stop it's

just part and parcel of what you get for

flying really fast so he hands me the

Drone and I had gotten inspired by what

I saw and I started going into sport

mode I tried it out a little bit

nerve-wracking but I I think I did okay

I think I got him some good shots anyway

fast forward now to me going out to some

Fields trying to get my own shots of

these really beautiful yellow plants I

don't know what they are maybe you guys

can help me kza I think it is grape seed

so I am flying getting my shots I'm

going in and out of sport mode okay I

had been really truly inspired by my son

and at one point I go I want to get a

shot a low flying shot of these yellow

plants right it' be really cool to come

in and fly really low and capture them

so I'll I go and within moments I

realize oh no something's wrong here

right and I see the thing my drone crash

into the plants and disappear into a

yellow Abyss that was a moment

so of course I go absolutely into panic

mode then I remember that these devices

have a um what's it called uh they can

send out a distress signal so you can

locate them right they'll beep they'll

flash whatever I finally get it working

and I go looking I walk I step into this

Jungle of tall plants I'm searching and

I'm searching I'm fighting the wind

noise I'm fighting traffic noise trying

to hear it I as I go deeper finally the

beep sound I'm like oh my God I find the

darn thing I was so happy can't even

tell you how happy I

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was this is

[Applause]

H I was like a kid I was so giddy on the

way back home because I really had had

so much fun I not only got the shot but

I did it by letting go there's a way

that I let go and so the ingredient that

I wanted to share with you that was

happening there without me knowing it

was that I was at play there was a

playful element to going for it I was

clearly done with my old way of shooting

ready for some new shots with this gear

and I went for it this time without even

thinking I wasn't thinking about what I

was doing I was just doing it so I was

like a little kid when we were kids at

play I mean that was so long ago I don't

operate like that anymore but that used

to happen all the time right that was

present when we moved to Europe and we

threw ourselves out into possibility

into the world we were at play there was

no Visa process or crappy Airbnb and

there were many there was no sort of

obstacle that was going to stop us from

doing what we wanted and we did it and

we were successful and I did the shot

and I found the Drone it wasn't that I

had to find it I might have lost it but

the point is the fun that I had and how

it all worked out in a way that my

negative mind could not have ever really

seen the mind just can't see

so the question becomes how do we add

playfulness how do we man can we

manufacture playfulness how does that

work well I think there's three ways

that I can think of how that can

manifest the first is what I just

describ droning or moving to Europe

there was a natural process to it when

you're so excited about something you

naturally are in play mode you're not

thinking about what you're doing you're

just going for it having a good time

letting anything happen that's kind of

the easy one

the second is we could try to Prime

ourselves we could try to talk ourselves

into being more playful sometimes that

can work you go okay I'm going to go do

that let me just kind of be in a mindset

of I can make it fun I can engage I can

let go the third which I've come to

discover is having outside support in my

case it's my therapist I see therapy as

essential I compare it as I've done

before to a coach helping an athlete

reach greater Heights anyway my

therapist loves to challenge me and I'm

going to tell you another story that

shows how his support made a huge

difference for me because the the work

we do is so emotional it's all about our

internal Landscapes our feelings our

emotions our triggers he's always

challenged me with different emotional

um sort of exercises right things to

work on and because I trust him I've

worked with him for a long time over the

years I've built that muscle of

listening to him trying things out

working on them they may take weeks they

may take months years well he presented

me with a challenge a year ago where he

says well Josh you're in France now

you're trying to learn French integrate

yourself into the culture it's not easy

why don't you get out there for 10 days

in a row consecutively go to a coffee

shop order coffee sit down and just be

embedded in French culture right away it

was like this reaction on my part right

I'm I'm not going to do that you know

the language the people strangers this

that the other all sorts of things would

come to mind because that's what the

Mind does it's going to like use every

strategy possible to stop you keep you

safe keep you secure but I listen to

them took me a while I think but then I

got out I did one two maybe three

coffees they were not consecutive and

then I would give up and say I don't

want to do this this is too

uncomfortable we were then in Paris for

a while I did it there for three maybe 4

days and I would stop be like no enough

I can't do this so if you look at my

formula again I wasn't TI enough with my

French I wasn't quite dissatisfied with

the status quo I also did not have any

desire to leave my comfort zone you know

the comfort of my home to get out there

and do something this wild and crazy

right to me in my mind and so there was

no impetus no desire to take any blind

leap of faith but he kept at it over

time he kept insisting fast forward to a

year later which was a couple months ago

I just got tired of hearing him say it

and I'm like okay I'm going to try it

I'm going to to do this get it

done do the week 10 days and get them

off my back so I go into here the

countryside there's not a lot of choices

for coffee shops not any that I like

that are more like Paris or Starbucks or

anything like that so that makes it a

little extra uncomfortable so I do it

for 3 4 days it's not easy the hardest

part as always was deciding to allocate

the time walk over grab the keys get out

the door I would eventually find a place

I would grab the coffee I would do my

thing the instruction on his part was

don't worry about talking to anybody

again I do it for 3 4 days you know at

that point I'm like well I'm in it

enough that I'm just a few days away

from our next session let me just finish

it off and I'll just get him off

my back right that was kept being the

thing just want him off my back we meet

a week later and I had already a feeling

that this wasn't enough I hadn't

challenged myself enough right I did a

good job it went well but there was more

to be done and so we both sat quietly we

asked the question that came back was

let's do another week this time actually

talking to someone for some period of

time at this point I was doing it

because I knew it was good for me so the

formula began to shift I could see that

I was stuck with my French you know I

needed to go out and practice I was

seeing that thing out there more like an

adventure it was beginning to to to be

something that I would desire to do

right get out of the house because we're

doing all this crazy construction it was

noisy it was nice to get out and it was

becoming a challenge to go out and find

where's that next conversation going to

happen and so it became easier for me to

sort of launch into week two and grab

the keys and go that week went really

well it was funny because at times it

would be like a Sunday and I wouldn't

know where to go and I'd end up at a

McDonald's talking to the server asking

him what is there to do in the area

which was my go-to initial question for

people it was so silly but I felt good I

was open I was impossibility and French

was coming out and in spite of Errors I

was allowing myself to make mistakes

which was huge it's a huge part of the

process right to have this courage to

step forward make mistakes have fun be

open and experience life

fully with Sicilia it's really funny we

always talk about how that is so hard

for me it's not for her she can go

anywhere talk to anybody that's not a

problem however when it comes to driving

in Paris she goes crazy it is Hell

she'll never do it it's impossible to me

it's like some kind of video game you're

you're I have no issues with driving in

Paris or any big city anyway I'm just

realizing the value of taking more

chances of taking risk what's happening

more globally in my life is I am getting

dissatisfied with my own comfort zone

staying in a shell it's becoming less

comfortable right I wouldn't say

completely dissatisfied right I didn't

do the exercise gladly every day it's

not over I'm going to have different

waves or cycles of doing more that work

but it got better right I I understood

what it means at a deeper level to not

be in my comfort zone all the time and

also part two that there's something to

be had out there the moment I walk out

there's something there's an adventure

which to me will shape up in the form of

taking more trips alone I want to travel

alone more to all these interesting

places here in Europe now or with any of

my family members I'm sure my therapists

will have more challenges for me so

there's that piece that that's more more

uh accessible I can tap into that more

and then it it all makes it easier to

take that leap of faith go for it book

the trip do this do that and embody uh

sort of a playful mode more naturally so

anyway I don't know if it's my own crazy

formula it sort of helped me a lot in

dissecting the concept of risk-taking

and what it means to me hopefully it

resonates with you guys out there I

would love to know if you have your own

formula or your own approach to doing

this I'd be very interested always

interested in your comments what big

risks have you taken in your life how

did that go how did you get yourself to

do it what did it teach you how do you

keep yourself taking more and more risk

so you can live more fully and

richly wow this was

um this was great this was great I'm so

glad I did this this way I am thrilled

with myself I'm happy this was a great

adventure of my own that I created here

by shooting it this way I'd love to know

if it translated I hope it does anyway

if you like this content especially this

approach to it let me know please

subscribe there's more of it coming and

uh I'll talk to you next time

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