Social Exclusion (Told Untold) Award Winning Short Indian Documentary
Summary
TLDRThe video script narrates personal stories of individuals grappling with societal norms and stigmas. It includes accounts of a young woman's struggle with her sexual orientation and her family's initial rejection, leading to a therapeutic journey. Another story recounts a woman's traumatic experience of sexual assault within her family, the subsequent victim-blaming, and her path to healing. The narratives underscore the importance of acceptance, support, and the courage to confront one's identity and experiences.
Takeaways
- 😡 The Delhi gang rape incident sparked widespread anger across India, highlighting the need for societal change.
- 🏳️🌈 The Supreme Court's decision to criminalize homosexuality under Section 377 was a setback for LGBTQ+ rights in India.
- 📺 Media's portrayal of negative stories like rapes and murders can be overwhelming and desensitizing for viewers.
- 👨👩👧👦 The power of storytelling is rooted in personal experiences and family dynamics, often shaped by societal norms.
- 🏠 Coming out as gay to conservative parents can be challenging, leading to emotional distress and family tension.
- 👨⚕️ Being taken to a psychiatrist by unsupportive parents can be a confusing and isolating experience for LGBTQ+ individuals.
- 🤝 Support from siblings can be a crucial lifeline for those struggling with their sexual identity within unaccepting families.
- 😢 Sexual assault within the family can lead to feelings of betrayal, fear, and long-lasting psychological trauma.
- 💔 The lack of support from parents following a sexual assault can exacerbate the victim's emotional turmoil.
- 👰 The societal pressure to conform to traditional gender roles and expectations can be a heavy burden, especially for those who are different.
- 💪 Finding the strength to speak out about personal struggles and societal issues can be empowering and inspiring to others.
- 🤝 The support from friends and the community can be a significant source of strength and validation for those who face discrimination and prejudice.
- 👨👩👧 Acceptance and understanding from parents are vital for the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ+ individuals, regardless of their age.
Q & A
What was the trigger event that sparked widespread anger across India?
-The gang rape of a young woman in Delhi in a moving bus.
What was the Supreme Court's ruling regarding homosexuality?
-The Supreme Court ruling criminalized homosexuality, setting aside the Delhi High Court order on Section 377.
How did the narrator's family react when they found out about their sexual orientation?
-The narrator's family did not react in an extreme way but were unsure how to respond. They eventually took the narrator to a psychiatrist hoping to 'fix' the issue.
What was the psychiatrist's conclusion after assessing the narrator?
-The psychiatrist concluded that the narrator's sexual orientation was not situational or something that would change over time, and advised not to tell the parents the real reason for the sessions.
What incident caused a rift between the narrator and their cousin's family?
-The narrator was sexually assaulted by their cousin brother, which led to a halt in their visits to the cousin's house and eventually sharing the incident with the cousin sister.
How did the narrator's parents respond to the incident involving their cousin?
-The narrator's parents did not take any action and advised the narrator to keep quiet to protect the family's reputation.
What was the narrator's experience like after coming out to their family?
-The narrator felt lonely and distanced from their family for a period, but eventually moved towards a neutral stance and focused on their own success and happiness.
How did the narrator's future husband react when they learned about their past?
-The narrator's future husband was supportive and encouraged them to let go of the past to move forward in life.
Why does the narrator choose not to hide their identity?
-The narrator doesn't believe they have done anything wrong and wants to encourage others who may be going through similar experiences.
What is the narrator's message to their parents if they watch the film?
-The narrator wants their parents to know that they are safe, happy, and will be successful in life, and hopes that their parents can accept them for who they are.
Outlines
🏳️🌈 Coming Out and Acceptance
This paragraph tells the story of a young man from a conservative family in Delhi who realizes and accepts his homosexuality. At the age of 16, he felt a stronger attraction towards boys than girls and decided to come out to his sister first, then his parents. His parents' initial reaction was one of confusion and denial, and they took him to a psychiatrist hoping to 'fix' him. However, the psychiatrist confirmed the young man's identity and advised against forcing a change. The story highlights the struggle for acceptance and the importance of understanding one's own identity.
😢 Surviving Family Betrayal and Assault
The narrator recounts a traumatic incident where she was assaulted by her cousin, leading to a profound sense of betrayal and a loss of trust in her family. Despite the support from her immediate family, she felt isolated and alone, especially when her family's response was to protect the family name rather than support her. The incident had a lasting impact on her life, affecting her trust in others and her overall well-being. The summary underscores the pain of familial betrayal and the struggle for justice and recognition within a traditional family structure.
💍 Moving Forward Despite Family Estrangement
The speaker discusses her decision to distance herself from her guardians after a traumatic event and the subsequent estrangement from her family. Despite the lack of support, she found strength in her own resilience and the support of her future husband, who encouraged her to confront her past. The summary highlights the importance of self-reliance and the healing power of understanding and supportive relationships in overcoming family rejection and trauma.
🌈 Advocating for LGBTQ+ Rights and Personal Acceptance
This paragraph details the speaker's reflections on the impact of the Supreme Court ruling on Section 377 and its potential consequences for the LGBTQ+ community. Despite initial fears, the speaker found support and acceptance among friends and peers. The narrative emphasizes the importance of speaking out, seeking professional help, and the need for parental support in accepting one's identity. The speaker's decision to reveal their identity publicly is a bold statement against societal stigma and a call for broader acceptance and understanding.
👨👩👧👦 Challenging Societal Norms and Family Dynamics
The final paragraph is a heartfelt message to the speaker's parents, acknowledging their love and support while also expressing the desire for them to understand and accept their child's identity. The speaker reflects on societal norms that label those who are different as outcasts and the importance of sharing personal stories to challenge these norms. The summary encapsulates the struggle for acceptance within the family and society, the courage to be true to oneself, and the hope for a future where one can be successful and loved for who they are.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Gang Rape
💡Homosexuality
💡Coming Out
💡Psychiatrist
💡Conservative Family
💡Sexual Assault
💡Stigma
💡Support System
💡Acceptance
💡Victim Blaming
💡Identity
Highlights
The gang rape of a young woman in Delhi sparked nationwide anger and discussions on sexual violence.
The Supreme Court ruling on Section 377 criminalized homosexuality, reversing a previous Delhi high court order.
Negative news such as rapes, murders, and honor killings dominate media, leading to public frustration.
Stories are a fundamental part of human culture and memory, often retold and reshaped over time.
The narrator's coming out to their family at 16 was met with a lack of acceptance and understanding.
The narrator's sister was supportive upon learning about their sexuality through a letter.
The family's conservative background made it difficult for them to react or discuss the narrator's sexuality openly.
The narrator was taken to a psychiatrist by their parents, who mistakenly believed they could 'fix' their sexuality.
The psychiatrist confirmed the narrator's sexuality was not a phase and could not be changed.
The narrator's experience of sexual assault by a family member led to a breakdown in trust within the family.
The family's reaction to the assault was to deny and suppress the incident, rather than confront it.
The narrator's decision to reveal their identity publicly is a bold step towards challenging societal norms.
The narrator's husband was supportive and understanding about their past experiences.
The narrator's realization that they will not receive parental approval, despite their achievements, was a turning point.
The narrator's call for societal acceptance and understanding of LGBTQ+ individuals and their experiences.
The narrator's plea for parents to listen and support their children, regardless of their sexual orientation.
The narrator's message of hope and resilience, despite the challenges they have faced.
Transcripts
the gang rape of a young woman in Delhi
in a moving bus has become a trigger
point for anger not just in the national
capital but across India the Supreme
Court ruling has criminalized
homosexuality setting aside the Delhi
high court order on Section 377 instead
putting the owners on our
parliamentarians just switch off the TV
it's too
irritating there's nothing to watch all
of it's like a social commentary rapes
murders honor killings that's it it's
just too negative all negative stories
everywhere
stories we always love listening to
Stories We love being part of people's
Stories the earliest memories of our
childhood come from stories we have been
told the most beautiful stories are
usually fairy tales retold over and over
again but sometimes we just hear the
stories the way we want to remember the
parts we choose to remember we retell
the stories with changes until they are
no
more sometimes the most bold and
truthful stories are never
[Music]
told I was born and brought up in a
conservative sick family in Delhi being
the youngest a sibling I was always the
Pampered and the loved kid in the family
I always been a very outgoing and
extrovert kind of a person a few years
ago there was something very fundamental
about me that my parents got to know I
was just 16 then I didn't expect their
reaction to be the way it was I don't
think they are ever going to accept me
fully for who I
am I just always knew like throughout
school there was always this attraction
towards boys more than girls that was
actually never an attraction towards
Girls by the time I was 16 I think by
1617 I was absolutely short of it
and yeah that's when I made the decision
to come out to my
parents I came out to my sister in um I
couldn't even say it to her so I
actually wrote it down like a piece of
paper like a long letter and asking for
her acceptance and for her to understand
and I slipped it down her
door at night and she just sent me a
text saying she was happy that at least
I told her about it so slowly and
gradually I think my parents also had a
clue because I was meeting men who were
older than I was and I was talking about
other people who were not from school so
they somehow could guess and they
somehow did have an idea and I think
that my sister also went and told them
which for me in a way was both good good
and bad because I at that point of time
didn't have the courage to directly go
and tell
them so all of these incidents came
together and the whole thing happened
like they knew about it now they didn't
react they didn't know how to
react they they not they don't come from
a very liberal background and for them
to not react in an extreme way was
actually something that I was very happy
about
so they tried talking to me but they
couldn't they wanted to get to a certain
point where that conversation goes in
that direction and I was very patient
and so were they but they didn't know
how to strike that conversation so that
conversation technically never
happened and they just kept saying
things like that is wrong or this
shouldn't be
happening and I think one fine day they
just decided to take me to a
psychiatrist
[Music]
I was very happy that I'm going to the
psychiatrist to sort it out and I think
the first question that the psychist
asked me was uh why do you think you're
here and I do it in
that I think my parents are parents
think that I'm angry and I have have
anger issues and there's something wrong
with me that there's something happening
in my personal life which I'm not
telling them
about so that's why they took that
that's what I told him but eventually I
told him that I know what the real
reason is and
uh he agreed to this scene and we
decided not to tell my parents that I
know why I'm there and to not have that
conversation with them because they took
me to that guy with a lot of hope they
wanted to fix it but it can't be fixed
basically
so yeah and I found myself sitting in
his room once a week once in two weeks
initially and for a good I think the
whole thing went on for about a year but
then the frequency fizzled out after a
bit after the whole session happened he
tried talking to me he wanted to be sure
that it was just not hormones talking or
some [ __ ] like that and uh after
assessing the whole thing and doing the
whole thing for 3 months he kind of
understood that it's it's basically
there like it's not situational or it's
not something that's going to go after a
point of time and when he tried talking
to my parents about it he said that
they're never going to
understand
I I didn't know what to say but I mean
he knew more than obviously I did and uh
if he can't convince them then I
definitely can't convince them
so I was born and brought up um in a
traditional Kumi family in anal and I
moved to Delhi 14 years ago for my
graduation I was a very fun-loving
vicious and a friendly kind of a person
and U right from my childhood I was very
independent because that is how my
parents brought me up but then suddenly
something happened at the personal
family front that made me
halt I could couldn't believe that
something like this could happen with
me I couldn't believe that my very
strong parents didn't support
me it was a Saturday so my cousin
brother um my sister and me we decided
to go for this very nice film and um and
my aunt was traveling and you know we we
had the house all by ourselves uh after
dinner we started talking and you know
my cousin she doed she dozed off she
slept and um OB obiously we both had
decided to sleep in the same room
because there were two bedrooms it was a
2bhk but then she slept on the sofa in
the drawing room and um finally you know
even I was drowsy and I said I want to
sleep so I went inside and I I I just
changed and I slept and after like half
an hour I you know something happened
and you know this fellow was you know my
brother he came and he you know he he
lied next to me
and
um and in no time was he you know all
over me and tried to do and he's Tred to
do things you know that was not
appropriate and probably my cousin I I I
had never dreamed that my cousin would
do such a thing and you know and I
couldn't even shout because he um
actually kept his hand really tight on
my lips and I couldn't speak a word and
um you know but then I know I could
gather all that strength from somewhere
and I just pushed him I just pushed him
so far and you know and I just said stop
that was something that I told him to do
and you know he just he just got off the
bed and he left the room and um you know
the next morning I I just picked my bag
and I left and um I went back to my
hostel I um you know I kept crying and
you know it was just one incident but
then I had never never been with a man
before and you know the first time
someone touched me was in such a dirty
in such a pervert way that I mean it had
such an adverse effect on my entire life
you know for that that that momentary
phase in my life my college life that I
just could not believe in any other
person now uh this cousin um you know my
um cousin sister eventually one day she
called me up and she asked me you know
you you've stopped frequenting their
house and I was like you know I have a
reason and U you know I then told her
that that particular night the entire
incident I narrated the whole story and
she was
[Music]
shocked they created a hype about it
that I used to be with boys and I used
to act with uh boys and I was totally
devoting all my time to theater and uh
that was not true that was really really
not true but then you know my parents
were Outsiders and um being the elder
daughter with so much trust they had
sent me to Delhi that you know even I
was always whatever step I took in Delhi
was to protect that trust they had in me
[Music]
I did not sleep the entire night 6 a.m.
when the PCO opened I went down I called
my father and I said you know I do not
want them to be my my guardian anymore
and I told my mother and she was like
she was
shocked and she said you did not tell me
then so now we cannot do anything about
it I was like you don't have to do
anything you just have to stop listening
to them because whatever they say
whatever they will say they will plant
stories about me because they have to
prove their son right and this is what
they have been doing though I'm very
very close to my father but then because
it was his sister you know it I actually
stopped talking about
it and I decided not never to confront
my father and tell him all these things
and I wanted my mother to be the you
know mediator and my mother
refused I mean until date and the only
excuse she gave me was um you should
understand that it's going to risk the
entire family and all the relations and
who's going to believe you now you know
One Fine Day my father over the phone he
started reminding me of whatever had
happened and I completely lost trust in
everything and I told him I for the
first time I shouted at him and I told
him that you know this is what has
happened in my life whether you believe
it or you don't believe
it but you know I never got an you know
Assurance based call from my father and
neither did I get any call from my
mother all I was asked to do was to shut
up
[Music]
[Music]
I don't want to hide my identity because
um I don't think I have anything to hide
it for I'm completely okay with
revealing my face I haven't done
anything wrong so I really don't care
what anyone would perceive about me if
they know who I am and um what my story
is I really do not want to hide my
identity I don't want to be a victim
forever I don't care if my face is
revealed and my story goes out to the
people because the most unfortunate part
is that a victim remains a victim
forever if the victim doesn't have the
strength to come out in open
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
I was about to get married in January
2011 and uh in October 2010 I got a
random call my today's husband and then
fion bat and you know he was right there
he said what happened and then I told
him and he already knew about it because
we were child you know we were college
buddies you know we both sat down we
talked about it and he said you know
he's a part of your life and this
particular incident will not go until
you let it go he was also and you know
uh in college when I had told him he was
more Angry he was he wanted to kill him
and you know he did not want to uh want
me to meet him ever but then now you
know just before our marriage buas was
so mature that he he asked me to calm
down initially when I had come out and
the whole thing was happening at home so
I felt that my parents and my sister
have distanced themselves a bit from me
so I kind of felt lonely for that period
of time in my own house but I think that
feeling just went away eventually when I
decided to be very neutral about it
parents approval is of course important
but uh I know for the fact that I'm
never going to get it like no matter
what I do like even if I become say the
richest guy in the world it's not going
to happen so I've kind of come to terms
with it I think they just want to see me
safe disease free and uh successful in
life
and I'm working on that I'm just I'm 24
and I kind of like moving into moving
towards a direction where I can um make
something out of my life I I am not
saying that they have not supported me
but then you know the stigma of becoming
a social outcast and with me becoming
one there were you know um more chances
of them
becoming the scapegoat in the entire
case and probably to protect that maybe
U you know they asked me to keep quiet
so apparently when we talk about all
these you know feminists around and we
talk about all these anti- rape you know
activ waste and I feel so shallow that
something that happens in our families
are not even talked about they won't
even come and tell you that fine we will
think about it you know there is no
thought given to it it's a complete
locking the window and throwing the key
somewhere and that's
deliberate so uh when the whole 377
thing happened I somehow felt that it is
going to affect me and my day-to-day
activities because um I think it gives
other people a
reason to attack the KE or the lesbian
or the transgender community in some way
or the
other but eventually I realized that I'm
surrounded by such people
that I don't really need to care about
it cuz everyone I came out on Facebook
after that everyone was very supportive
people from my flight school who
I never thought would be friends with me
came out to me sent me texts saying that
they're very proud of what I've done and
they very and they stand by me
[Music]
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[Music]
after talking to you when I came home
and I actually gave a thought to it I
realized that you know if I dare to
speak and if I dare to come before the
camera and talk about it without my face
being blurred because that is what you
suggested then and uh you know I wanted
people to know who is talking what so
that they can relate to it and then you
know I want everybody to know that the
parents you are the biggest support to
any child no matter what age the child
is in maybe you know your child is
married today but then for you the
person will always remain a Child So
Hear the story out there are a lot of
people out there who have not gained
that sort of acceptance
from society and moreover from
themselves they're not comfortable in
their own skin which I think is very
important because till the time you
don't come to terms with it
people around you will not respect you
for who you
are so I think this is
just my contribution to um some of those
people who are not lucky enough to have
parents who will discuss something like
this with them or take them to a
psychiatrist or to a professional help
and just basically help them deal with
it because some people don't even have
the courage to tell their parents
what if your parents see this film I
want them to see this film it's not
about what did they see I will make them
see this film not to make them feel more
guilty I know they are guilty somewhere
down the line because you know after I
told my mother she wrote a letter to me
saying that how she trusted me and what
I mean to her and I know they love me
and I love them back more than I loved
them then or you know with each passing
day but then I really want them to watch
it
I don't think that my parents will see
this film because uh
it's I I I don't
know I don't think there'll be much of a
reaction it will probably just they'll
just ignore this
[Music]
it doesn't matter if something happened
to you at Birth or later in life the way
Society reacts is the same just because
it is not mainstream it labels you as an
outcast an outsider a victim with a
story that must not be shared and that
is exactly when the story ought to be
told these were stories that I wasn't
aware of until I start looking for them
and they were all within my circle of
friends if I could find so many people
imagine the number of people we sit with
every day without the faintest idea of
what they have been through without
knowing which joke silently hurts them
even when they smile
back Mom Dad if you're seeing this then
um
you already know all of this and you've
been with me
throughout I don't know if this is going
to change things
but I'm happy the way it is you don't
have to adapt or change anything and you
don't have to come to terms with it if
you don't want
to I'm safe and I'm happy and I'm just
going to be successful in life and make
you proud in if not in this way if not
by getting married to a really pretty
girl but I might I might do other things
which might make you
happier okay MAA I really really really
love you and I respect you for you have
raised me the way I am today and uh all
I want to say that is that I'm sorry for
maybe not being empathetic towards your
social needs but then I also want to
tell you that I know that you will will
accept what I whatever I have you know
shared today because uh it's equally
important and my love for you will go
grow stronger if you watch it and you
understand
[Music]
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