3 Habits That (Actually) Changed My Life
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares transformative habits that improved their life and conversations. They emphasize building input-output loops for continuous learning and growth, refining ideas through practice and discussion, and engaging in self-improving conversations with smarter individuals. Additionally, they highlight the benefits of starting the day with sunlight and delaying caffeine intake for mental clarity, sharing personal experiences and strategies that led to increased productivity and personal satisfaction.
Takeaways
- 🔄 Build input-output loops to create a continuous learning cycle and gain unique insights.
- 🌞 Start mornings with sunlight and delay caffeine intake for a clearer head.
- 📚 Engage in conversations with books to discover and refine your interests.
- 🤝 Find or create groups with like-minded individuals to discuss and share ideas.
- 📈 Continuously refine your ideas and presentations based on feedback and reactions.
- 📝 Write and create content as an outlet to solidify your learning and gain more input.
- 🧠 Have 'selfish' conversations with smarter individuals to learn and improve your knowledge base.
- 📖 Use books as a medium to engage in deep conversations with authors and expand your thinking.
- 🌐 Connect with people in different fields to learn from their experiences and frameworks.
- 🎥 Run your own courses or workshops to teach others and reinforce your own understanding.
- 🌟 Build a reputation for having unique insights to gain a competitive advantage in your field.
Q & A
What was the speaker's realization about their work before they decided to change their habits?
-The speaker realized they were not building any specific skills or making unique contributions, and their work was not accumulating into anything substantial, leading to a feeling of wasting time.
What is the first habit the speaker decided to implement to improve their life?
-The first habit was to build input-output loops, which means having a continuous cycle of learning (input) and applying that knowledge (output), then seeking more input to improve the output.
How did the speaker apply the input-output loop in their job at YouTube?
-The speaker applied the loop by learning about YouTube algorithm changes (input), running workshops for YouTube channels (output), and then seeking more input from the YouTubers to refine their knowledge and contributions.
What was the second habit the speaker adopted to improve their conversations?
-The second habit was refining their ideas and the way they communicated them, similar to how a comedian refines a joke based on audience reactions.
How did the speaker find a group of people who shared their interests?
-The speaker joined a writing course, which led them to meet people who were interested in similar topics, such as philosophy and frameworks from books.
What is the third habit the speaker recommends for better conversations and personal growth?
-The third habit is having conversations with people who are smarter or more knowledgeable than oneself, starting with books and then extending to real-life interactions.
How did the speaker's approach to reading books help them in their conversations?
-The speaker engaged in a deep reading experience by asking questions in the margins of the books, which helped them curate their content diet and find direction in their learning, leading to more meaningful discussions.
What is the additional habit the speaker picked up that contributed to their productivity and energy in the morning?
-The speaker started their morning with sunlight and avoided caffeine for the first hour after waking up, which they found gave them a clearer head and more energy.
How did the speaker's childhood friend's behavior lead to a realization about their conversations?
-The friend's lack of interest and cutting off the speaker during a conversation about a favorite book made the speaker realize they needed to change the quality of their conversations and find better ways to connect with others.
What is the 'Cafe Da Vinci' that the speaker started?
-The 'Cafe Da Vinci' is a gathering that the speaker started with a friend, focused on thinking at the intersection and doing associative thinking, providing a space for discussions on shared interests.
Outlines
🌀 Building Input-Output Loops for Growth
The speaker discusses the realization that they were not building specific skills or making unique contributions, leading to a decision to change their approach. They adopted the habit of creating input-output loops, where they would learn something (input), apply it (output), and then seek more input to improve the output. This spiraling approach allowed them to accumulate knowledge and develop a competitive advantage. The example given is from their time at YouTube, where they learned about algorithm changes, shared this knowledge with YouTubers, and then used their insights to further engage with the Google search team and other YouTubers, building a reputation for unique insights.
🗣️ Improving Conversational Skills
The speaker shares three strategies for enhancing the quality of conversations: finding like-minded people, refining ideas through practice, and engaging in conversations with those who are intellectually stimulating. They joined a writing course to meet people with similar interests, started their own courses to gather a group of thinkers, and initiated the Cafe Da Vinci to foster associative thinking. They also emphasize the importance of refining ideas by trying different ways to express them, as demonstrated by their experience with a friend who initially showed disinterest. Lastly, they advocate for having 'selfish' conversations by reading books and engaging with their authors, which helps in curating one's content diet and developing a deeper understanding of various subjects.
☕️ Morning Rituals and Caffeine Habits
The speaker introduces a habit of not consuming caffeine for the first hour after waking up, which they discovered by chance due to a move. They found this practice, combined with morning sunlight and yoga, to be highly beneficial for starting the day feeling productive and energized. They also mention a video on tackling to-do lists and invite viewers to subscribe for more content, highlighting the mutual benefit of their work and the viewer's support.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Input Output Loops
💡Information Asymmetry
💡Caffe Da Vinci
💡Refining Ideas
💡Conversations with Books
💡Associative Thinking
💡Caffeine
💡Tod List
💡Gentle Ladies Agreement
💡Personal Satisfaction
Highlights
The speaker decided to change their approach to work and personal growth after feeling drained and directionless.
Realized the importance of building specific skills and making unique contributions rather than just completing tasks.
Introduced the concept of 'input-output loops' to enhance learning and skill development.
Example of an input-output loop: Learning about YouTube algorithm changes and then applying that knowledge in workshops.
The speaker sought additional input after workshops by talking to YouTubers and gaining unique insights.
Mentioned the competitive advantage of having information asymmetry in the information world.
The speaker started a YouTube channel to experiment and share knowledge, further building their reputation.
Emphasized the importance of finding a group of people who share similar interests for meaningful conversations.
Started running their own courses to gather like-minded individuals and discuss frameworks and ideas from books.
Founded 'Cafe Da Vinci' to facilitate associative thinking and discussions on various topics.
The speaker refined their ideas and conversation skills by practicing and tweaking them over time.
Engaged in conversations with books and their authors to curate a content diet and discover personal interests.
Recommended having conversations with people who are smarter and more knowledgeable in various fields.
Suggested not having caffeine for the first hour after waking up for a clearer mind.
Incorporated a morning routine of sunlight and yoga, which improved productivity and energy levels.
The speaker shares their personal experiences and strategies for improving the quality of life and conversations.
Transcripts
I wasn't building any specific skills I
was just kind of building little sand
castles everywhere that crumbled after
the project ended so I decided I need to
change this 3 years ago I felt drained I
felt like I was wasting time doing all
of this work but it wasn't building up
to anything and the closest people were
drifting from me because we weren't
really interested in the same things
anymore and it was hard to be who I am
around them so entered Co where
everything was put to a pause and I
tried a bunch of habits and three of
them changed all three of the problems
they were really easy to implement and
effortless to apply now that I've been
doing for three plus years so I wanted
to share with you the three habits that
really changed my life the first one is
build input output Loops what I realized
early on in my career was I was a good
employee people would give me things to
do and I did as I was told I think I did
them pretty well but you know at the end
of the year I don't have any
groundbreaking Insight I didn't have any
unique contributions that other people
couldn't do I wasn't building any
specific skills I was just kind of
building little sand castles everywhere
that crumbled after the project ended so
I decided I need to change this I'm
going to build a loop an input output
Loop so what that means is I have my
inputs and that feeds directly into an
output that I do but with the output I
am going to seek more input and that's
going to the next output so everything
links together and I'm spiraling up and
learning and building up on something
for example when I was working at
YouTube part of the job was to learn the
latest YouTube algorithm changes and
then you run workshops or meetings with
big YouTube channels so you know you can
help them grow and most people stop
there right input is the training and
the output is the workshop that you run
so you know easy you finish and you do
something else but of course I was
building my Loop so I'm not going to end
there what I would do is okay I learned
the material I run the workshop and at
the workshop I want to gain more input
so I talk to the big YouTubers find out
how they hack the algorithm they think
about this 24/7 so a lot of them had
really unique insights that were not
covered on the YouTube training material
so for example one of the YouTubers said
oh since YouTube introduced chapters
what I would do is make my chapter
titles SEO optimized so actually I get
more traffic from Google search so
whenever you know you search on Google
for a question they will give you
YouTube video suggestion so her videos
started to show up there and I thought
fascinating not at all covered by the
YouTube training material and so I would
take that and I reach out to the Google
search team you ask them oh you know
when how do you think about surfacing
YouTube channels and they would tell me
even a bit more based and I could reply
and I could discuss because I had some
information from the YouTubers based on
what I've learned there then I could do
more outputs when I'm talking to other
YouTubers now I can say you know there's
an interesting hack that you can do or I
can whenever I'm doing cross functional
meetings there's unique insights that I
can provide and no one else knows about
and of course as an output I run my own
YouTube channel so I experiment with my
own Channel all of this is building on
top of each other over time you build
reputation for yourself that you have
information asymmetry this is a huge
competitive advantage in our information
World they know that when I come to
Vicki she has some unique insights that
somehow other people don't have and that
is building the input output Loop and
even if you say okay I work I can't
really do that you know it sounds too
complicated you can do that with the
content that you consume we all consume
a lot of content so I decided Well if
I'm I have this much input I need some
sort of Outlet I need some sort of
output to actually cement in what I'm
learning so I'm writing creating YouTube
videos and just that process itself is
you're doing more than 99% of the people
and once you do that right you leave
comments I talk to my writer friends you
know they talk about this I get random
inbound emails saying oh I saw this
article you did is exactly what I'm
doing with my business can we discuss
this so I get so much more input just by
putting something out and based on those
discussions then I can improve my videos
I think of new ways to do my videos new
topics so it really is a virtuous cycle
and this virtu cycle gets me ahead of
most of my peers who are still building
sand
castles this came about when I realized
one of my closest childhood friends kept
on cutting me off in our conversation I
remember this one instance which made me
realize I need to change I was telling
her about my favorite book how PR can
change your life it's so witty the
author Alan debaton he had such clear
observations and he put into words what
I was feeling but never had the words
for it's a weird mix of self-help and
literary review of this French author
which I studied when I was in Paris it
was just mind-blowing and I was gushing
about the book and my friend said oh
yeah um so I'm actually thinking of
going to Paris this summer where should
I stay and she completely cut me off she
wasn't listening you know clearly my TED
Talk was of zero interest to her and
that's when I realized even if someone
is a close friend one they won't be
interested in everything that I'm
interested in and two even if they were
they shouldn't be there listening to me
ramble about something so instead of
calling her hey you know she's just a
friend who never listens to me I decided
I needed to change and have better
conversations and there were three
things I did to change the quality of my
life and the quality of my conversations
the first thing was finding a group of
people who cared about the same things
as I do you know I want to talk about
philosophy I want to talk about how the
world works I want to talk about
Frameworks I want to talk about ideas
from books and you know have a
discussion about them and people in real
life a lot of them were interested in
this so I thought okay let me 8020 this
and find the right people so writing is
a proxy for curiosity for me so I joined
a writing course and lo and behold I met
some of my favorite people on the
internet who cared about the same things
as I did and yes it's possible to make
friends as adult when you share similar
interests second you know I started
running my own courses about things I
cared about and you know we gather as a
group who cared about framework thinking
we cared about ideas and three it's so
important to me to have these
conversations I started my own Cafe Da
Vinci Cafe with my friend Fay all about
think at the intersection doing
associative thinking so yeah if you feel
the same you can find our Link in the
description and join one of the cafes
the second thing to do is refine your
idea and realize that just like a
comedian when they tell a joke they tell
it once and they tweak how they tell the
joke based on how people react it and
you tweak it over time even on stage you
tweak it over time so that you find the
best way to tell the joke in a way that
people get it they're laughing they're
having a good time and you are evoking
that emotion that you want in them so
same with us if I say something it
doesn't land the first time well I have
more opportunities to talk about it and
tweak it I use Da Vinci cafes to do that
I use my writing to do that just to how
can I best describe this idea when I was
telling my friend who cut me off I was
telling her there's this idea in there
about cliches the problem with cliches
is not that they are bad ideas but is
they are superficial articulations of
really good ideas and when I said it
like that she was like oh yeah okay like
and then what you know so it didn't land
and I realized I tried different
versions I tried you know maybe telling
my own story when I'm writing blah blah
blah not interesting but when I said hey
you know what can we do a test of
whether you see the world in 2D or 3D
immediately hooked right and I say okay
if you see a sunset how would you
describe it and she was like uh it's um
on fire or yeah I guess you know it
looks like it's on fire ah it's a cliche
right and then I go into the details of
you know what it's good that it's a
cliche but you are borrowing how other
people are seeing the world but when you
actually notice the sunset and really
look at it you'll see that it's not just
on fire there's so much more going on
and so we had this huge discussion about
sunsets we actually went to see one and
then she was like oh holy crap like this
is deep can I borrow that book you know
so this is really what I'm talking about
refining those ideas giving yourself
that permission to talk about ideas in
different ways and don't get discouraged
really improve the quality of the
conversations I was having the third
thing I do to improve the quality of my
conversations is to have more selfish
conversations with people who are way
smarter than me and I start with books
right I don't have philosophers deep
thinkers you know business people all
around me but no problem they've all
written books so I start with the books
and you know engage in a conversation
with them through the book I ask them
questions in the margins right I think
about oh yeah this this is a really good
point I realized that this happened in
my life and I start to have a deep rich
reading experience and sometimes the
questions you ask will be answered by
the book sometimes the questions won't
be answered in which case then you are
able to know okay based on this question
I have which books should I read next
this way you're curating your content
diet right not just okay here's social
media let me flip through whatever's
there but you have a direction towards
what you want to read what you want to
find out what you care about some people
feel like you know I don't even know
what I I'm interested in I have no
purpose in life start having
conversations with books and you'll
start to see your interests and you'll
naturally curate your information diet
once you do that you really go to the
shoari process I talked about it in
video in this video here in detail but
basically you know first you learn from
the master and then you start to break
the mold of the master and then you
start to create your own thing it really
is a powerful method to have
conversations with those who are really
smart and then you can bring it into
your real life once you feel more
comfortable you know that you ask good
questions you're building up this base
of knowledge based on what you're
reading sometimes like cold email and I
go on LinkedIn and try to connect with
people who I don't even know sometimes I
just talk to people around me right lots
of people are ahead in their careers
lots of people are in different fields
right I asked them you know what are the
Frameworks that you have distilled what
are the interesting learnings and I'm
trying to connect the dots right do that
associative thinking okay let's say in
physics this happens in philosophy
something else happens I see a
connection and I share with them so I
can also give back to the discussion
this is definitely something I will
continue to do more of in 2024 for sure
because you know sometimes I am shy and
I get scared like oh what if I can't
even say anything intelligent but you
know the point is not to prove that I am
intelligent the point is to learn from
them so that's something I'm going to
continue practicing the power of having
better conversations it doesn't just
enrich social interactions but it really
enriches your personal satisfaction and
learning as well two birds with one
stone I love stuff like that the third
habit I'm definitely keeping is not
having caffeine the first hour from when
you wake wake up apparently Andrew
huberman also recommended this as well
is for the first hour you know start
your morning with sunlight and don't
drink caffeine until an hour later it
will give you a clearer head and I can a
th% vouch for that I did this by
accident because we moved and I didn't
have this beautiful espresso machine
with my ritual of spending 10 minutes to
get the coffee ready and then you having
two sips and it's gone and combine it
with yoga that I do every morning so I
guess that's a bonus habit that I also
picked up and will continue to do I felt
so on on top of things I felt so
productive in my morning so healthy in
my morning I was energized to get my Tod
list started and of course if you want
to see how I tackle my to-do list here's
a video on that and if you watched all
the way till here thank you if you
enjoyed it please consider entering into
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