How To Stop Worrying - The Fundamentals of Eliminating Worry

Summary

In this video by Leo from Actualised.org, he addresses the common issue of worrying and its impact on our lives. He explains that worry is a natural human tendency but often serves as a self-sabotaging behavior. Leo suggests adopting the belief that worry is useless and offers practical tips to manage it, such as focusing on controllable aspects and shifting to 'positive worry'. He emphasizes the importance of awareness and changing one's mindset to prevent worry from creating a negative reality.

Takeaways

• 🧠 Worry is a natural part of the human mind, stemming from our lower self and reptilian brain which constantly look for potential problems.
• 🔄 Worry can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, where negative thinking can lead to negative outcomes, creating a cycle of self-sabotage.
• 🚫 The speaker suggests adopting the belief that worry is entirely useless, as it does not serve any productive purpose and can be detrimental to personal and professional success.
• 🔑 Awareness is key to managing worry; recognizing when you're worrying and understanding that it's a mind game can help in reducing its power over you.
• 🛑 Catching yourself in the act of worrying and consciously choosing to shift your focus to positive outcomes can break the cycle of negative thinking.
• 🌟 Positive worrying involves considering the best-case scenarios instead of the worst, which can lead to a more optimistic and productive mindset.
• 🤔 Reflecting on past worries and realizing that many never materialize can help in recognizing the pattern of unnecessary worry.
• 💭 Thoughts create feelings, so changing your thoughts from negative to positive can significantly impact your emotional state.
• 🌱 Practicing 'positive worrying' for a week can help in developing a new habit of focusing on positive hypotheticals rather than negative ones.
• 📈 The speaker emphasizes the importance of personal development and offers more advanced techniques on actualized.org for managing worry and achieving a positive state of mind.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video by Leo from Actualised.org?

The main topic of the video is about how to stop worrying and understand the causes of worrying.

Why does the human mind tend to worry according to the script?

The human mind tends to worry because the lower self and reptilian brain are always on the lookout for problems, fearing the worst-case scenarios and catastrophizing situations.

What does Leo refer to as the 'gremlin' in our minds?

The 'gremlin' is a metaphor for the negative, critical voice in our minds that is always judging, criticizing, and casting blame, causing worry and chaos.

How does worry potentially create a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Worry can create a self-fulfilling prophecy by focusing so much on negative outcomes that one's actions and behaviors inadvertently lead to the feared result.

What is the belief that Leo suggests adopting to combat worry?

Leo suggests adopting the belief that worry is entirely useless and serves no positive function in one's life.

How does worry affect one's ability to achieve results in life?

Worry can drain energy, mental resources, willpower, and focus, leading to a lack of resourcefulness, creativity, and perseverance, which are necessary for achieving results.

What is the term used for the practice of thinking positively about hypothetical outcomes instead of negatively?

The term used for this practice is 'positive worrying' or 'positive hypotheticals'.

Why is positive motivation considered more effective than motivation derived from worry?

Positive motivation is more effective because it is based on pleasure, ambition, and desire, which are more powerful and sustainable drivers than the pain and fear associated with worry.

What is the first step Leo recommends to start reducing worry?

The first step Leo recommends is to become more aware of when you are worrying and to be honest with yourself about the nature of your thoughts.

What exercise does Leo propose to help shift from negative to positive thinking?

Leo proposes an exercise of 'positive worrying' for a week, where one considers only the positive hypothetical outcomes of a situation instead of the negative ones.

Where can viewers find more advanced personal development tips like the ones discussed in the video?

Viewers can find more advanced personal development tips on Actualised.org and by signing up for Leo's free newsletter.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Understanding the Nature of Worry

Leo from Actualised.org introduces the topic of worry, emphasizing its ubiquity and the role of the human mind in constantly seeking out problems. He explains that the lower self and reptilian brain are always on the lookout for potential issues, leading to a tendency to catastrophize situations. Leo suggests that worry is a mental trap and likens it to a 'gremlin' in one's mind that causes chaos and prevents achieving desired life outcomes. He argues that worry is a self-fulfilling prophecy that can sabotage personal success in various areas, including relationships and business endeavors, by focusing on negative outcomes and attracting them into reality.

05:01

🛠️ Tools for Reducing Worry

The script discusses practical strategies for managing worry. Leo suggests that while it's not possible to eliminate worry entirely, one can reduce its frequency and intensity by adopting the belief that worry is useless. He proposes that recognizing the self-sabotaging effects of worry and shifting focus to what can be controlled are key steps. Leo encourages viewers to catch themselves in the act of worrying and to consciously redirect their thoughts to positive outcomes and actions. He highlights the importance of awareness and the need to challenge negative thought patterns, advocating for a shift from negative to positive 'worrying' as a method to harness positive motivation.

10:02

🌟 Embracing Positive Worry

In the final paragraph, Leo introduces the concept of 'positive worry,' which involves envisioning positive outcomes instead of negative ones. He recommends a week-long exercise where individuals consciously think about the best possible outcomes in various situations, such as a successful presentation leading to a raise or inspired team members. Leo emphasizes the importance of this mental shift for creating a more positive and productive mindset. He concludes by inviting viewers to engage with Actualised.org for more advanced personal development tips and to sign up for his free newsletter.

Keywords

💡Worrying

Worrying is the act of experiencing anxiety or concern about something that might happen in the future. In the video, it is identified as a common human experience but also a mental trap that can lead to self-sabotage. The script discusses how worrying is often unproductive and can create a self-fulfilling prophecy, as when one's focus on potential failure can actually increase the likelihood of that outcome.

💡Human Mind

The human mind, as mentioned in the script, is the cognitive center of thoughts, emotions, and consciousness. It is highlighted as the source of worrying behavior, with the lower self and reptilian brain constantly on the lookout for problems. The video suggests that understanding the mind's role in worrying is crucial for managing it effectively.

💡Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing refers to the tendency to imagine the worst possible outcome in any situation. The video script describes this as a natural tendency of the human mind, which can exacerbate worrying by creating exaggerated fears and worst-case scenarios that may not be realistic or likely.

💡Self-Help

Self-help is a broad term that encompasses various techniques and strategies designed to improve one's well-being and overcome personal challenges. The video is a self-help segment aimed at offering practical tips to viewers on how to stop worrying, indicating the script's intent to empower individuals to manage their anxieties.

💡Gremlin

In the context of the video, a 'gremlin' is a metaphor for the negative, critical, and judgmental voice within one's mind that can cause worry and anxiety. The script uses this term to personify the internal critic that can lead to self-sabotage and hinder personal growth.

💡Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage is the act of unconsciously or consciously acting in ways that undermine one's own success or well-being. The script discusses how excessive worrying can lead to self-sabotage by creating negative expectations and behaviors that may prevent one from achieving desired outcomes.

💡Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a belief or expectation that influences a person's behavior in such a way that the belief or expectation comes true. The video script uses this concept to explain how worrying can lead to negative outcomes, not because they were inevitable, but because the worry itself influenced actions that led to those outcomes.

💡Resourcefulness

Resourcefulness is the ability to find quick and clever ways to overcome difficulties. In the context of the video, it is suggested that worrying can drain one's resourcefulness by focusing mental energy on potential problems rather than on creative solutions and effective actions.

💡Positive Worrying

Positive worrying, as introduced in the script, is a concept where one consciously redirects their worry towards positive outcomes and hypotheticals. It is presented as an antidote to traditional worrying, encouraging viewers to envision successful scenarios as a way to counteract negative thinking.

💡Awareness

Awareness, in the video, refers to the conscious recognition and understanding of one's own thoughts and feelings. The script emphasizes the importance of becoming aware of when and why one is worrying, as a step towards managing and reducing worry.

💡Personal Development

Personal development involves the process of improving one's skills, abilities, and knowledge to enhance personal growth. The video, being a part of a self-help series, is focused on personal development by providing insights and strategies to overcome the issue of worrying and to improve mental well-being.

Highlights

Introduction to the topic of stopping worrying and its significance.

Explanation of the human mind's natural tendency to worry due to the reptilian brain's problem-seeking behavior.

The idea that worry is a mind game and a trap, often leading to negative outcomes.

The concept of the 'gremlin' in one's mind as a symbol for the constant critic and judge causing worry.

How worry can sabotage life outcomes in areas such as fitness, business, and relationships.

The self-fulfilling prophecy effect of worry and its potential to create negative realities.

The belief that worry is entirely useless and the rationale behind this belief.

The importance of reducing worry episodes and their severity for better mental health.

The argument that worry does not lead to better outcomes and can actually hinder performance.

The strategy of catching oneself in the act of worrying and consciously deciding to stop.

Shifting focus from negative to positive outcomes as a method to combat worry.

The difference between negative worry and 'positive worry' as a technique for changing one's mindset.

A week-long exercise in positive worrying to raise awareness and change habitual thought patterns.

The value of awareness in recognizing and addressing negative thought patterns.

The suggestion to periodically check in with one's feelings and thoughts to identify worry.

The conclusion emphasizing the importance of personal development and further resources available at Actualized.org.

Transcripts

hey this is Leo for actualised org and

in this video we're talking going to

talk about how to stop worrying okay

this is a big one this is a deep topic

that I can barely cover in the this

little quick self-help segment but let's

crack into it I'm going to give you some

practical tips and also how you

understand what is it the cause of your

worrying why are you worrying so much

first thing to understand we all worry

this is just how the human mind works

where natural warriors we're worrying

all the time why because your lower self

and your reptilian brain is always on

the lookout for problems it's always

looking for something that is going to

be on the horizon that you gotta watch

out for there's always a fear lurking

somewhere there's always a worst-case

scenario it's really good at

catastrophizing situations so that is

why you're worrying and you probably

think that this is a good thing if you

are like me and you had a problem with

where I had a problem with wearing so I

still do but at least I understand now

after doing years of personal

development work that the worry is a big

mind game and it's a trap it's like a

sand bit and if you do not understand

this idea that worry is useless then you

are really sucked in to the worry here's

the problem is that your mind is always

going to worry about something it's

always going to five fears and those

fears always going to be projected so

what you got to do is you got to start

to tame that and what that is called is

actually taming your gremlin you

literally have like a gremlin in your

mind

this little devil's advocate that is

criticizing all the time it's judging

all the time it's always casting blame

at you all the time and so this gremlin

is in your mind it's running around in

there and it's causing havoc chaos and

when you're worrying this much you're

not able to get good results in your

life not to mention feel good you

definitely don't feel good because

you're always frantic and anxious but

you're you're probably not getting the

results you want in your life from

fitness to business to to relationships

because this worry is creating

sabotage for you quite simply right you

keep telling yourself that something is

going to happen you focus on it so much

that you actually end up attracting it

to you maybe you're so worried that the

relationship you're in is going to break

up and that you're going to end up alone

that you become so needy in that

relationship that you actually end up

alienating the person that really loved

you and then you actually do end up

alone and it creates a self-fulfilling

prophecy effect and then you say well

look I should have been worrying about

that because it actually happened it was

a real problem when in fact that was

created by your negative thinking how

about business let's say you're starting

a business and you're worried that the

economy is bad and that starting a new

business nowadays is not really possible

it's too hard it's going to require a

lot of work and it's probably going to

fail if you have that kind of thought

and you go in and start a business what

you think is going to happen well your

mind is going to start to focus on all

the challenges that before you and it's

going to start to point fingers and say

look that technique for starting a

business didn't work because like I said

the economy is bad and nobody wants to

buy anything and this this process here

doesn't work either because that it uh

whatever and you just go through and you

keep saying no no no no no look at this

look at that I told you so I know it's

going to fail I just know it's going to

fail and what do you think happens to

your motivation what do you think

happens to your resourcefulness and your

perseverance in making that business

work and creating a business is

something that requires a lot of

resourcefulness a lot of creativity and

a lot of perseverance and if you're

lacking those well you can get a pretty

good idea of what's going to happen but

your mind in its infinite trickiness

will say but that's how it is that's how

reality is that's how the market is it

just is that way businesses are hard to

start and I knew that that was going to

happen so this worry was completely

justified and the fact that it failed

now is not because of the worry it's

because of the reality of the situation

so those are two examples of how you

could be creating self-sabotage with

your worry so what do we do about this

you know is it always the case that

worry has a purpose or it doesn't have a

purpose well I don't know how it really

is but I think for practical purposes to

run your life as effectively as possible

from everything that I researched and

everything that I've experimented with

out myself then here's what you want to

believe you want to hold the belief that

worry is entirely useless there is no

point

nothing empowering about the process of

worrying ever ever ever ever ever you

never worry you never want to worry now

of course it doesn't mean that you're

going to not worry anymore because it's

deeply ingrained in you you cannot beat

that out of yourself even if you tried

what you can do is you can reduce that

and then you could also reduce the

amount of episodes of worrying that you

have so just a simple fact that you

start - from now on believe that worry

is useless is already going to eliminate

some episodes of worry and it's going to

reduce the severity of them so maybe

you're gonna let's say go to work next

week and you've got a big presentation

in front of the boss and you need to

really impress the boss and then the

boss's boss is there you got to really

make a good presentation otherwise well

your mind fills in the blank something

bad is going to happen maybe you can get

fired right you might think well it's

good to think about the fact that I'm

gonna get fired because that motivates

me that charges me up I'm worried but

that worry is creating some sort of

action in me which is actually going to

get me to overcome my procrastination to

work on that project get it done and

that's how done in the past

in the past when I worried about

something that's gotten me to action

that was like a fire under my ass okay I

hear what you're saying I've had that

experience myself but if you didn't

worry if that worry wasn't there I would

argue that you would do equally better

I mean equally as good as if you did

worry or better and in many many cases

you're gonna do better and better by a

lot because what's happening is that

that worry is is creating

self-fulfillment it's creating a it's

creating like a self sabotaging effect

on yourself because the drain

your energy literally your psychic

energy your mental resources your

willpower and your focus is being

drained on this worry and that worry is

not productive in and of itself it might

light a fire under your ass for a short

bit of time but in and of itself it's

not going to actually take the action

that's not going to create the

presentation for yourself it's not so

what you got to say is you got to say

wait a minute okay catch yourself in the

middle of the worrying process because

you're probably gonna be some or in the

middle of it then you gotta say wait a

minute

from now on I thought I believed that

worry is no longer is no longer powering

it doesn't serve any function so I'm

gonna try to just cut it out this

weren't even though I think that it's

going to help it's actually not helping

it would be better if what I did was I

just focused my attention on the things

that I could control things that I could

do how about I just focus on what I

could do for this presentation rather

than worrying on all the worst case

scenarios that will happen if I don't do

what I need to do why don't I just do

them why don't I just start to think

about all the cool stuff that's going to

happen if I do it well right how about

that for change for you pessimists out

there that's probably you probably your

jaw dropped I know for me sometimes that

is that is the case is I'm so caught up

in the worrying and just sometimes I'll

just stop myself and I'll realize what's

happening I'll be in that worry spiral

and I realize what's happening and I'm

like whoa what if I just was thinking

about the flip side of all that instead

of thinking about how my business is

going to fail and nothing's going to

work out what if I think about the fact

that it's going to succeed and things

are going to work out better than I

thought they did

it's like 180 degree shift and it's like

whoa when I start thinking about that

then all the sudden it's like okay

that's really cool well if that's the

case what if I then do this and then

what if I use that strategy that maybe

this other strategy will work and then

maybe I'll get some more money and then

maybe I can do some more advertising and

then maybe I can get some more clients

and then I can make it when I get more

clients I'll get more money and then I

can use that money to create a better

product and then we'll just build on

itself and now you get excited now you

get a vision now you want to go out

there you take

so this is positive motivation versus

the negative motivation that you get

with worry so even though we can create

motivation it's not a really good high

quality type of motivation and besides

you're going to feel awful why would you

want to want why would you want to

motivate yourself with with pain when

you can motivate yourself with pleasure

and ambition and desire much more

powerful right so other ways of stopping

worrying I think the biggest one is to

start to get more awareness around the

fact that you are worrying and be honest

with yourself if you're a constant

worrier and all you do is you think

negative thoughts all the time and you

are always catastrophizing situations

and especially if you worry about stuff

that is out of your control that you

have nothing that you can do about and

especially if you worry about things and

then if you look back in your past you

see that most of stuff that you worry

about doesn't actually pan out for you

it never becomes an issue in the first

place then you really got to admit that

you've got a negative thinking problem

your pessimist and your a constant

worrying I'll constant worrier and if

that's the case then you know that's

where you're at that's a valuable

insight to have now what you got to do

is you got to start a gradual process of

bringing more awareness to your worry

start noticing when you're thinking

negatively stop periodically throughout

your day for just a few minutes and just

notice how are you feeling are you

feeling anxious frustrated anything

negative and then notice what are you

thinking because your thoughts are

creating the feelings if you're always

anxious there's only one reason why you

are only anxious because you are

visualizing very vividly negative things

to yourself that means you're

visualizing yourself bombing the

presentation you're visualizing yourself

bombing the final exam you're

visualizing yourself wanting a poor

destitute on the street in rags you're

visualizing yourself being rejected by

your boyfriend or girlfriend you're

visualizing your marriage crumbling

you're visualizing your kids dying

you're visualizing these very

catastrophic things and that is of

course

creating frustration and negative

feelings inside you how could it not you

got to start to shift out of that and

start to basically do the flip of it

right the opposite and what's the

opposite of worry it's what I call

positive worry other books talk about it

too it's positive worry why don't you

adopt a habit for the next seven days of

positive worrying that means what you do

is you do the same thing as you would if

you were worrying about the situation

but everything you worry about is the

positive of it so that means you're

going to think about that presentation

and your think about it a lot but you

can think about all the amazing stuff

you can think about that you're going to

do better than expected you're gonna

you're gonna think about how maybe

you're going to get a raise what if you

get a raise you're going to consider

hypotheticals and that's kind of how

what worrying is is a consideration of

hypotheticals but improper worrying it's

negative hypotheticals and here you're

going to consider positive hypotheticals

like what if I really a stat

presentation and then I get a raise from

that we know what if what if what if the

people on my team get really inspired by

that presentation what if I actually

learn something about myself in the

process what if what if what if what if

all this positive stuff so start doing

that do that for a week and see how you

feel I think you'll start to notice just

how much worrying you do and that will

create the inner shift you need just to

start to get a handle on it it's going

to take you a while to really get a

solid handle on it but you got to start

somewhere so that's a good place to

start it even if you've got a decent

handle on your worrying you can still

start with this exercise it's still a

really really powerful exercise to do

all right

this is Leo I'm going to be signing off

go ahead leave me your comments please

share this in like this that's why I

release this does these videos for free

and then check out actualized org for

more advanced personal development tips

like this where we talk about how to get

yourself into a positive state of mind

get yourself out of a negative on

resourceful state of mind and other

advanced techniques and I really there's

a lot of different techniques in my

repertoire for how to deal with worry I

can only share one or two of them here

so check out actualize that org and sign

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