Why Are You Ignoring Who You Need to Become? (& What To Do About It)

Summary

In this video, the speaker explores the internal struggle of feeling called to something greater but being held back by fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. Drawing from James Hollis's book *Creating a Life*, the speaker emphasizes that embracing discomfort and confronting the unconscious mind is essential for personal growth. The video introduces a three-part framework—anxiety, ambiguity, and ambivalence—as crucial elements in the maturation process. The speaker encourages viewers to embrace these challenges, view them as signs of growth, and take baby steps toward their higher calling, supported by mentors and self-reflection.

Takeaways

• 😀 Embrace discomfort as a sign that you're on the right path towards personal growth and fulfillment.
• 😀 Fear of your higher calling is a healthy fear, as it pushes you toward meaningful change and challenges.
• 😀 Anxiety, ambiguity, and ambivalence are not weaknesses, but rather signs of psychological and spiritual maturity.
• 😀 The unconscious mind is vast and can guide us if we learn to tap into it, offering a greater potential than our conscious mind may realize.
• 😀 We must not settle for a life of no consequence; pursuing a greater calling brings fulfillment, even if it's uncomfortable.
• 😀 Our true potential may seem distant or unrealistic, but it’s not a farfetched dream—it’s a possible reality if we align with it.
• 😀 Psychologically mature individuals can handle the tension between opposites, sustaining conflict to allow growth and development.
• 😀 The fear of uncertainty and ambiguity should not be avoided but embraced as part of the process of self-actualization.
• 😀 Life is not meant to be solved but lived as a mystery. The search for perfect safety is an illusion that hinders growth.
• 😀 Don't fill your life with distractions or shallow activities. Engage in projects that challenge you and require you to tolerate discomfort.

Q & A

What does the speaker mean by 'selling yourself short'?

The speaker refers to 'selling yourself short' as not fully pursuing your potential or ignoring the inner call to become something greater. It's about playing it safe rather than embracing opportunities for growth.

What is the core message of the quote from James Hollis in the video?

The core message of the quote is that living a 'lesser life,' one without growth, contribution, or following your inner calling, is more damaging than the fear of pursuing something greater. Fear of this calling is normal and should be embraced.

How does the unconscious mind play a role in the pursuit of personal growth?

The unconscious mind, according to Jungian psychology, is vast and holds the key to personal growth. By tapping into it, individuals can discover their true potential, overcoming the limitations set by their conscious mind.

What are the three 'A's mentioned by James Hollis, and why are they important?

The three 'A's are anxiety, ambiguity, and ambivalence. These are essential in the maturation process because they represent the discomforts we experience when stepping into the unknown. A psychologically mature person can endure these tensions and allow growth to emerge from them.

How does ambiguity challenge the ego according to the video?

Ambiguity challenges the ego by confronting its need for certainty and security. The ego seeks to fix the world in a predictable way, and ambiguity disrupts this desire, forcing us to deal with the unknown.

What is the significance of the 'shadow' in the process of personal growth?

The shadow represents parts of ourselves that are repressed or rejected by the ego. Confronting the shadow is essential for personal growth as it reveals values and aspects of our psyche that were previously ignored or hidden.

Why is discomfort, like anxiety, not necessarily negative in the pursuit of growth?

Discomfort, such as anxiety, is a natural part of stepping into the unknown and pursuing a higher calling. It signals that we are moving away from familiar ground and embracing the opportunity for growth. It’s a sign of being on the right path.

How does the speaker view the societal perspective on anxiety and uncertainty?

The speaker critiques societal views that label anxiety, uncertainty, and ambiguity as weaknesses. Instead, they argue that these feelings are essential for growth, and rejecting them is a result of societal insecurity.

What are the four questions provided at the end of the video meant to encourage?

The four questions aim to encourage deep reflection on one's personal journey and higher calling. They ask individuals to examine the truths they live by, understand who they are, how they will use their life’s time, and what guides their decision-making.

How does the speaker suggest dealing with fear in the context of personal growth?

The speaker suggests embracing fear as a natural part of pursuing personal growth. Rather than avoiding it, we should view fear as a worthwhile emotion that propels us toward a future that aligns with our true potential.