How to Deal with Toxic People? || Acharya Prashant (2019)

Acharya Prashant
11 Jun 202412:00

Summary

TLDRIn this insightful dialogue, the speaker addresses the challenge of dealing with toxic individuals in our daily lives. They emphasize the importance of recognizing one's true nature and the liberation from unnecessary roles and responsibilities. The conversation delves into the root of toxicity, suggesting that it's not an inherent trait but a result of environmental factors and personal choices. The speaker encourages the audience to confront toxic behavior assertively yet peacefully, and to prioritize their own well-being, understanding that change is a personal choice and not everyone will heed advice. The message is clear: one should not feel obligated to tolerate toxicity, and wisdom is more valuable than mere social niceties.

Takeaways

  • 🌟 Recognize the presence of toxic people in your life and understand that their behavior can negatively impact your mental well-being.
  • 🔍 Reflect on why these individuals are still in your life and consider if it's due to an inability to avoid them or a sense of obligation.
  • 💡 Challenge the idea that family or social cohesion is more important than personal liberation and mental health.
  • 🤔 Consider the role you play in supporting toxicity, either actively by displaying toxic behavior or passively by tolerating it.
  • 🌱 Understand that liberation and self-awareness are more important than societal roles and identities.
  • 🚫 Reject the compulsion to interact with toxic individuals and recognize that there is no inherent obligation to do so.
  • 🤝 Acknowledge that addressing toxic behavior can be a form of support, helping the person to change if they are willing to listen.
  • 🛡️ Protect your mental health by setting boundaries and removing yourself from environments or relationships that are detrimental to your well-being.
  • 💪 Emphasize the importance of personal growth and wisdom over societal values that may be valueless or misleading.
  • 🗣️ Communicate honestly and without violence when addressing toxic behavior, aiming to inform rather than to accuse.
  • 🌈 Remember that personal well-being is in your hands, and you have the power to change your environment and relationships for the better.

Q & A

  • How can one deal with toxic people in daily life?

    -Dealing with toxic people requires setting boundaries, avoiding unnecessary interactions, and focusing on one's own mental well-being. It's important to understand that not all toxic behaviors can be changed, and sometimes, the best approach is to limit exposure to such individuals.

  • Why do toxic people seem to gravitate towards some individuals?

    -Toxic people may gravitate towards individuals who are perceived as accommodating or tolerating their behavior. This could be due to a lack of boundaries or a tendency to take on unnecessary responsibilities and roles.

  • What is the role of family in contributing to the presence of toxic individuals in one's life?

    -Family relationships can sometimes be a source of toxicity due to societal expectations and a sense of obligation. However, it's crucial to remember that one's well-being is paramount, and it's not necessary to maintain relationships that are detrimental to one's mental health.

  • How can one avoid reacting to toxic behavior?

    -Avoiding reactions to toxic behavior involves developing emotional resilience and practicing self-awareness. It's about choosing not to engage with the negativity and focusing on personal growth and well-being.

  • What does the speaker mean by 'liberation' in the context of dealing with toxic people?

    -The speaker refers to 'liberation' as the existential purpose of an individual, which is to be free from the constraints of societal roles and expectations. This liberation is more important than maintaining relationships that are not beneficial to one's mental and emotional health.

  • Why is it important to challenge the principles that support toxicity?

    -Challenging the principles that support toxicity is important because it helps individuals break free from societal norms and expectations that may be contributing to a toxic environment. It encourages a reevaluation of what truly matters in life, such as personal well-being and wisdom.

  • How can one's true nature help in dealing with toxic situations?

    -Understanding one's true nature can provide clarity and strength in dealing with toxic situations. It helps individuals realize that they are not obligated to tolerate toxic behavior and that they have the power to change their circumstances.

  • What is the significance of 'height of consciousness' in the context of the conversation?

    -The 'height of consciousness' refers to the level of awareness and understanding one can achieve. It is suggested that this is what truly remains with an individual, even after death, and is more important than any external relationships or roles.

  • Why is it suggested that we are not just victims but also supporters of toxicity?

    -We are considered supporters of toxicity because our reactions or tolerance of toxic behavior can inadvertently encourage it. By actively or passively supporting such behavior, we contribute to the perpetuation of toxicity in our environment.

  • How can confronting a toxic person be done effectively?

    -Confronting a toxic person should be done with honesty, without violence, and with the intention of improving the situation. It involves calmly and assertively expressing how their behavior is affecting others, with the hope that they will reflect and make changes.

  • What is the speaker's view on the importance of wisdom compared to societal values?

    -The speaker emphasizes that wisdom is more valuable than societal values that are often superficial or misguided. Wisdom is something that should be cultivated intentionally, as it contributes to a deeper understanding of life and helps in navigating complex situations.

Outlines

00:00

😤 Dealing with Toxicity in Daily Life

The speaker begins by addressing the challenge of managing toxic individuals in daily life, who can introduce negativity and upset. They question why such people are allowed to remain in one's life and emphasize the importance of liberation over familial or societal obligations. The speaker argues that we are born alone and should focus on personal growth and consciousness rather than being bound by relationships that may be detrimental to our well-being.

05:03

🤔 Understanding the Roots of Toxicity

This paragraph delves into the concept of feeling obligated or compelled to tolerate toxic behavior, which stems from a lack of self-awareness and understanding of one's true nature. The speaker suggests that we often take on unnecessary roles and responsibilities due to societal expectations, which can lead to supporting toxic environments. They encourage individuals to recognize their active or passive support of toxicity and to challenge the principles that promote cohesion over personal well-being, advocating for a shift in values towards wisdom and self-respect.

10:05

🛡️ Setting Boundaries with Toxic Individuals

The final paragraph emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries with toxic people for the sake of one's mental health. The speaker advises against feeling obligated to maintain relationships that are harmful, stating that there is no responsibility to endure environments that negatively impact one's well-being. They suggest a direct, non-violent approach to addressing toxic behavior, offering honest feedback with the hope that the person may change. However, they also acknowledge that if the person does not wish to improve, it is not within one's power to force change, and the focus should be on one's own well-being and liberation.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Toxic People

Toxic people are individuals whose behavior negatively affects those around them, often causing emotional distress and negativity. In the script, the speaker discusses the presence of such individuals in daily life and how their actions can impact mental well-being. Examples include judgmental and manipulative behavior that the person finds hard to ignore or avoid.

💡Negativity

Negativity refers to the presence of adverse or pessimistic attitudes and emotions. In the context of the video, negativity is a result of interactions with toxic people, leading to feelings of upset and distress. The script emphasizes the challenge of maintaining positivity while dealing with such negative influences.

💡Reactivity

Reactivity is the tendency to respond to external stimuli, particularly negative behavior, with immediate emotional reactions. The speaker in the script points out that constantly reacting to toxic behavior only perpetuates the negativity and does not lead to constructive solutions.

💡Obligation

Obligation in this context refers to the perceived duty or responsibility to maintain relationships, even when they are harmful. The script questions the necessity of such obligations, suggesting that personal liberation and well-being should take precedence over societal or familial expectations.

💡Liberation

Liberation is the act of freeing oneself from constraints, whether they are social, emotional, or psychological. The speaker emphasizes that personal liberation, rather than adherence to imposed roles or relationships, should be a primary goal, allowing for personal growth and mental health.

💡Existential Purpose

Existential purpose refers to the fundamental reason for an individual's existence, beyond societal roles and responsibilities. The script suggests that understanding and pursuing one's existential purpose is more important than conforming to familial or societal expectations, which can often be sources of toxicity.

💡Mental Well-being

Mental well-being encompasses emotional and psychological health. In the script, the speaker highlights the importance of protecting one's mental well-being by distancing from toxic influences and not allowing them to dominate one's thoughts and interactions.

💡Compulsiveness

Compulsiveness refers to the feeling of being driven by an internal force to act in a certain way. The speaker argues that compulsive behavior, such as feeling obligated to engage with toxic people, stems from ignorance of one's true nature and hinders personal growth.

💡Wisdom

Wisdom is the ability to make sound decisions and judgments based on knowledge and experience. The script advocates for valuing wisdom over superficial social conventions, suggesting that true wisdom leads to better handling of toxic relationships and personal liberation.

💡Victimhood

Victimhood is the state of seeing oneself as a victim of circumstances or other people's actions. The speaker in the script challenges the notion of victimhood by encouraging individuals to take responsibility for their interactions and not support toxicity, either actively or passively.

Highlights

Dealing with toxic people in daily life and their impact on mental well-being.

The challenge of managing reactions to toxic behavior and maintaining positivity.

The concept that one might unintentionally attract toxic individuals.

The importance of understanding why toxic people remain in one's life.

The idea that we are born alone and die alone, emphasizing individual liberation over familial ties.

The notion that family is not the ultimate purpose of life, and liberation is more significant.

The impact of toxic behavior on personal growth and the importance of avoiding it.

The role of obligation and compulsion in maintaining relationships with toxic individuals.

The idea that every second lost to toxicity is a second stolen from personal progress.

The recognition that toxicity can breed in an environment and is not solely a characteristic of an individual.

The active and passive support of toxicity through behavior and tolerance.

The importance of challenging and re-evaluating societal values and principles.

The value of wisdom over societally imposed roles and identities.

The concept of calling out toxic behavior as a form of help, not anger or retribution.

The understanding that people improve by their own consent and cannot be forced to change.

The empowerment to prioritize one's mental health and well-being over maintaining toxic relationships.

The final advice on the significance of self-liberation and the pursuit of personal consciousness over societal expectations.

Transcripts

play00:01

Namaste sir I'm shy my question is how

play00:05

to deal with the toxic people in our

play00:07

daily life and sometimes their behavior

play00:10

adds negativity and upset in my life and

play00:14

how to deal uh such situation and how to

play00:17

stay positive when we when I'm dealing

play00:20

with such

play00:21

personalities you are shell you said

play00:25

yeah shy Shel how did you first of all

play00:29

manage to accommodate so many toxic

play00:32

people in your daily life like attracts

play00:38

like my question to you is how did you

play00:41

first of all have so many toxic people

play00:45

gravitate to you how did that happen

play00:47

it's a

play00:48

miracle uh uh not so many sir one of two

play00:51

papers they are

play00:53

always even those two people how are

play00:56

they managing to stick around

play01:01

why are they still in your sensory or

play01:05

mental domain why do you see them why do

play01:08

you think of

play01:11

them because uh because I can't avoid

play01:14

that avoid them but now that's exactly

play01:17

what toxicity is that's exactly what

play01:19

toxicity is something that cannot be

play01:22

avoided yes that's everybody's apology

play01:25

and explanation just as you say you

play01:28

cannot avoid toxic people

play01:30

similarly the toxic people say they

play01:32

cannot avoid being

play01:34

toxic that's everybody's apology now

play01:37

what do you do tell

play01:41

me uh in in my problem is I'm always

play01:45

reacting them so you always it's I'm

play01:49

always reacting when they are

play01:50

manipulating when they are

play01:52

juding sometimes I'm not able okay I

play01:55

used to think that I will be silent but

play01:57

in some situation I can't so I will no

play02:01

no we we need to stick to my question

play02:04

why are these people there in your life

play02:06

at

play02:11

all like of course there are my family

play02:14

members so uh why do they need to be

play02:17

necessarily there in your

play02:19

life who told you that the

play02:23

family is bigger than everything

play02:27

else you're not born to be a family

play02:31

woman you are born to be liberated

play02:34

Liberation is bigger than everything

play02:38

your gender your identities your roles

play02:40

your

play02:41

relationships all of these are

play02:44

subservient to your existential purpose

play02:48

you do not

play02:50

exist to be a family

play02:54

member you are born alone you will die

play02:56

alone what is this thing about family

play03:00

the only thing that will remain with you

play03:02

is the height of

play03:05

Consciousness you could

play03:09

reach in fact the ones who have known

play03:11

have told

play03:12

us that if you could reach Great Heights

play03:15

and even transcend the

play03:18

heights those Heights remain so much

play03:20

with you that even your death does not

play03:22

matter you become

play03:27

immortal will the family remain with you

play03:30

always they are already bothering you so

play03:33

much H yeah not everyone but some um

play03:37

some some people but uh because uh just

play03:41

two day back they are judging

play03:44

manipulating and I can't control so I

play03:46

said some I reacted but that affected

play03:49

me um you you're not you you you are

play03:52

you're not being fully willing to

play03:56

consider my question if there are such

play03:58

people

play04:02

what compulsion do you have to have

play04:04

interactions with them please tell

play04:07

me and it is these

play04:11

compulsions that fuel the

play04:14

toxicity if toxicity knows that it would

play04:17

be thrown out of the

play04:21

window it would change its ways but it

play04:25

does not mend itself because it knows it

play04:28

would be accommodated

play04:31

why do you accommodate it so much and by

play04:33

accommodating

play04:35

it are you doing yourself any good are

play04:38

you doing the other person any good that

play04:41

person will continue to remain toxic you

play04:43

will continue to suffer you will

play04:45

continue to feel like a

play04:48

victim he will continue to be

play04:51

himself who is gaining

play04:59

nobody is gaining right you know what is

play05:03

the fundamental problem this feeling of

play05:07

obligation this feeling of

play05:10

compulsiveness this feeling that you are

play05:13

indebted that there is a great

play05:17

responsibility to Bear all

play05:21

nonsense and all of this arises from an

play05:24

ignorance of one's true

play05:27

nature since we do not know who we

play05:30

really are therefore we take on all

play05:33

kinds of needless roles responsibilities

play05:36

and

play05:39

identities every second loss to

play05:44

Mischief is a second that you

play05:47

owed to your own inner

play05:51

progress every second lost to

play05:55

toxicity is a

play05:58

moment stolen away from its right

play06:05

utilization do you see what kind of loss

play06:08

that

play06:13

is also

play06:15

remember we are talking of just one side

play06:18

of the

play06:19

story if we manage to

play06:22

bring those two so-called toxic people

play06:25

to this conversation they will have

play06:27

their own tale to tell

play06:33

toxicity is not something necessarily

play06:36

present in a

play06:38

person it breeds in an environment not

play06:41

really in a

play06:44

person and if it is there in an

play06:46

environment there are many people

play06:47

responsible for

play06:50

it stop being one of those who are

play06:54

responsible for that

play06:57

toxicity you can support toxicity

play07:02

actively

play07:04

by displaying toxic Behavior or you can

play07:07

support toxicity

play07:10

passively by tolerating toxic

play07:17

Behavior active or passive support is

play07:21

support is it

play07:27

not and there is fun in portraying

play07:30

oneself as the victim of toxicity we are

play07:33

not just victims of toxicity we are

play07:35

supporters of

play07:42

toxicity please

play07:47

understand all these Concepts that have

play07:50

been implanted in our

play07:54

minds that cohesion is of prime

play07:57

importance that

play08:01

staying together is of prime

play08:04

importance that

play08:07

being

play08:10

uh a good mannered and dty girl a woman

play08:14

is of prime

play08:20

importance these are junk

play08:26

principles the real principles of Life

play08:29

have have never been taught to

play08:32

us what really matters in life is not

play08:36

your good

play08:38

ediate but your deep

play08:46

wisdom but wisdom is something we never

play08:50

respected never quite uh cultivated with

play08:55

intent

play08:59

instead we value a lot of uh other

play09:04

things and those other

play09:06

things they are actually

play09:09

valueless we have just been taught to

play09:12

Value

play09:14

them stop giving values to things that

play09:18

have

play09:22

none call a spade a

play09:26

spade and it's not about uh

play09:30

being

play09:36

vindictive it's not about

play09:41

retribution in some sense it is also

play09:43

about helping that other toxic

play09:49

person somebody has to call him out and

play09:53

that need not be

play09:54

done with a lot of anger that has to be

play09:57

done as an exercise is in

play10:02

factfulness why not tell it to the other

play10:05

person that he or she is displaying sick

play10:09

behavior that that person's behavior is

play10:12

adversely

play10:15

affecting the mental well-being of a lot

play10:18

of other people at least one other

play10:24

person and you do that honestly and you

play10:27

do that without any

play10:31

violence if the other

play10:35

person is his own well Wisher he will

play10:38

listen to

play10:39

you that must be your intention and if

play10:42

he does not

play10:44

listen then you cannot uh fo yourself on

play10:51

someone people

play10:55

improve by their own consent

play10:59

if you tell the right things to a person

play11:01

and he does not want to

play11:03

improve you cannot force him

play11:07

to right that's not in your hands but

play11:11

your own well-being is definitely in

play11:13

your

play11:14

hands I repeat there is no obligation no

play11:18

responsibility to stay put in an

play11:22

environment or with

play11:24

people who adversely impact your mental

play11:28

health

play11:38

anything else no sir thank you sir thank

play11:41

you so much

play11:55

[Music]

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الوسوم ذات الصلة
Toxicity ManagementEmotional Well-beingSelf-LiberationMental HealthFamily DynamicsBehavioral ChangeExistential PurposeInner ProgressSocial CohesionVictim Narrative
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