An ADHD Success Story - Watch this if you're feeling stuck.
Summary
TLDRThis video explores the emotional journey of grieving and accepting an ADHD diagnosis, particularly in those diagnosed later in life. It begins with the initial relief of understanding one's struggles, followed by mourning the lost potential of earlier diagnosis and support. The narrative then warns against the dangers of dwelling too long in this grieving phase, which can lead to a victim identity focused on limitations. Highlighting an interview with David Goggins, the video emphasizes the transformative power of accepting one's limitations and pursuing life with intense focus and determination, regardless of ADHD.
Takeaways
- 😌 Relief is often the first emotional response upon receiving an ADHD diagnosis later in life, stemming from finally understanding past struggles.
- 😢 The grieving process for what could have been—better school experiences, earlier intervention—is a common phase following the initial relief of an ADHD diagnosis.
- 🔄 Transitioning from mourning missed opportunities to accepting and moving forward is crucial to avoid getting stuck in a perpetual victim mindset.
- ⚠️ Lingering too long in the grief stage can lead to a harmful identity built around limitations and perceived failures.
- 🔍 People often argue for their limitations, reinforcing a negative self-image that they are incapable of change or success.
- 🎙️ Inspirational figures, like David Goggins discussed in the Andrew Huberman interview, can provide powerful examples of overcoming extreme adversity and shifting from a victim mindset to proactive life changes.
- 🧠 Accepting personal limitations while refusing to be defined by them is key to growth and self-improvement.
- 🌟 Focusing intensely on a single goal, much like Goggins' approach, can be effective even for those with ADHD, proving that strong will and determination can overcome distractions.
- 🔎 Exploring personal interests and curiosities can lead to meaningful pursuits, which is crucial for people with ADHD to engage deeply in activities that captivate their attention.
- 🌱 Embracing a mindset of potential and possibility, rather than focusing on perceived barriers, can lead to discovering and pursuing passions that align with one's unique talents and abilities.
Q & A
What are the initial emotions described when someone receives an ADHD diagnosis later in life?
-The initial emotion often felt is relief, as the diagnosis provides an explanation for the struggles and difficulties experienced throughout life.
What is the 'mourning' phase in the process of grieving an ADHD diagnosis?
-The mourning phase refers to the period where individuals grieve over the possibilities of what could have been had they been diagnosed earlier and received necessary accommodations, support, or understanding.
Why is it considered dangerous to remain too long in the grieving phase after an ADHD diagnosis?
-Staying too long in the grieving phase can lead to a victim mindset, where individuals might continuously focus on their limitations and failures, which can prevent them from moving forward and improving their situation.
How does the speaker suggest one should transition from the grieving phase after an ADHD diagnosis?
-The transition involves accepting the diagnosis, moving past the grief of lost possibilities, and focusing on how to live well with ADHD, utilizing available tools and strategies to manage the condition.
What kind of response does the speaker often see in their coaching practice or online when suggesting new ideas or tools for managing ADHD?
-Responses vary from acceptance of the suggestions as beneficial to outright rejection, often from those stuck in a negative mindset who believe they cannot implement the suggested changes due to their limitations.
Who is David Goggins and how is he referenced in relation to coping with ADHD?
-David Goggins is mentioned as someone who overcame significant personal challenges and transformed his life, serving as an inspiring example for individuals with ADHD to see the potential for overcoming their own challenges.
What key attitude does David Goggins exhibit that the speaker finds inspiring for people with ADHD?
-David Goggins embodies an attitude of relentless determination and a refusal to be defined by his limitations, which is seen as a powerful mindset for those struggling with ADHD to adopt.
Why does the speaker mention the importance of internal dialogue and intuition for managing ADHD?
-The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding oneself deeply, setting personal goals, and following through despite ADHD-related challenges, suggesting that this self-awareness and personal conviction can lead to significant life improvements.
What strategy does the speaker advocate for discovering personal interests and goals when dealing with ADHD?
-The speaker advocates for experimentation, such as journaling, meditating, or spending time alone without distractions, to help individuals with ADHD discover what truly interests and motivates them.
How does the speaker view the relationship between creativity and employment for someone with ADHD?
-The speaker suggests finding a job that is tolerable but not necessarily loved, as a way to financially support one's creative passions and ambitions, thus allowing for personal fulfillment without financial stress.
Outlines
🌟 Grieving the ADHD Diagnosis
This paragraph discusses the unofficial process of grieving after receiving an ADHD diagnosis. It begins with a sense of relief from finally understanding long-term struggles. The grieving process evolves into mourning what could have been if diagnosed earlier, with proper support and accommodations. The speaker emphasizes the importance of moving beyond this phase to acceptance and action, warning against getting stuck in a victim mindset. The paragraph concludes with a reference to an impactful interview with David Goggins by Andrew Huberman, highlighting the transformative power of shifting from a victim identity to embracing one's ADHD and achieving success.
💪 Embracing Limitations and Achieving Greatness
The speaker shares insights from David Goggins' interview, who despite his learning disabilities and weight issues, did not let his limitations deter him. Goggins' story exemplifies the power of self-acceptance, hard work, and determination. He managed to understand and accept his brain's workings, set clear goals, and pursued them with unwavering focus. The paragraph underscores the significance of internal dialogue, intuition, and focusing on heart-based goals to understand one's true self and desires. It encourages listeners to find their passion and pursue it relentlessly, regardless of their ADHD.
🏔️ Moving Mountains with Focus and Determination
In this paragraph, the speaker encourages embracing one's current situation and focusing on future aspirations rather than past struggles. It highlights the importance of goal setting and having a singular focus, which serves as a forcing function to prioritize what's truly important. The speaker draws from David Goggins' journey, emphasizing his intense focus and persistence in achieving his goals. The paragraph also suggests practical steps for introspection, such as journaling and exploring curiosities, to help identify personal passions and goals. It concludes with a message of inspiration, asserting that if Goggins could overcome his challenges, anyone with ADHD can achieve their dreams.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡ADHD diagnosis
💡Grieving process
💡Victim mindset
💡Identity
💡Acceptance
💡Limitations
💡Self-trust
💡Potential solutions
💡Personal growth
💡Empowerment
Highlights
Initial relief from understanding the reasons behind long-standing struggles after an ADHD diagnosis.
Mourning the missed opportunities and advantages that could have been had if diagnosed earlier.
The danger of dwelling in the phase of grieving, leading to a victim mindset.
Struggle with identity as someone unable to succeed, reinforcing personal limitations.
Encountering resistance to new ideas or tools suggested for managing ADHD in online communities.
Impact of David Goggins' transformational story on the perception of overcoming personal limitations.
Discussion on the importance of transitioning from grief to acceptance and proactive living with ADHD.
The role of self-talk and internal dialogue in overcoming personal challenges and setting life goals.
Emphasis on the necessity of inward reflection to truly understand and set personal aspirations.
The importance of focusing on what is deeply compelling, even if it does not generate income, to foster true creativity.
David Goggins' approach to life by embracing hardships and focusing intensely on personal goals.
The value of experimentation, such as journaling and meditation, to explore personal interests and passions.
Understanding ADHD not as a definitive limitation, but as a unique aspect of one's cognitive profile.
The power of determination and focus in achieving goals, despite ADHD.
Encouragement to pursue curiosity and interests with the mindset of possibility rather than limitation.
Transcripts
so I just recorded a video it's not up
yet but when it is I'll link it up here
somewhere but at the end of the video I
just happen to mention this un official
process of grieving an ADHD diagnosis
and I think it starts with a sense of
relief that you now know why you've been
struggling for so long and this is
particularly for those of us who are
diagnosed later in life then after you
have that initial relief you go into
this process of mourning What could have
been if you had been diagnosed when you
were in school and had the appropriate
accommodations to thrive or medication
support coaching therapy whatever else
you needed if you had those things
things would have been so much better
and even if people understood what you
were going through things would have
been so much better but clearly that
wasn't the case we just kind of
struggled in silence until we grew up
and learn compensatory methods so in
that phase of the processing of a
diagnosis when you are diagnosed later
in life I think it's a really
important part to go through like
grieving what could have been and what
isn't and I think we all go through it I
certainly went through it myself however
the danger of staying in that place of
grieving what could have been when you
don't make that transition to the next
phase of accepting that okay so this is
what I've got I've grieved what could
have been now what can I do with my
brain how can I learn to live a good
life knowing now what I know when you
don't pass to that
phase you get stuck in The Grieving
phase and when you stay in The Grieving
phase too long you start to build this
identity of being a victim of this idea
around I have ADHD so I can't hold down
a job or I can't finish anything I start
I can't follow through I've disappointed
so many many people I've disappointed
myself I can't I can't I can't I can't
and when you get stuck in that mode and
you argue for your own limitations that
is exactly where you will stay and the
more you argue in your defense the more
you dig your heels into that phase of
your ADHD process right so as much as I
have so much compassion for anyone in
that phase and I've seen it in my
coaching practice I see it in the
comments in social media underneath my
YouTube videos when I suggest something
or a tool or an
idea either people are going to accept
it as oh this is a good idea or they're
going to think it's not a good idea
which either way is fine but then
there's always those folks who are like
oh that's a great idea for some but it
would never work for me because I can't
do X I can't have a routine I can't
follow through I can't trust myself S I
can't do anything right so they're not
even really paying attention to the
potential Solutions they're mired in
their identity of being somebody who has
failed so much that they have absolutely
no sense of TR self trust or interest to
try something new try something
different to get to that next phase of
okay this is where I'm at this is what I
have now what so you see what I'm saying
I can hear it in the voices of those
folks who have not yet come out of that
phase that are stuck in a victim mindset
and I was thinking about this this
morning when I came across the most
powerful Andrew
huberman interview I think I have ever
heard and I've heard a lot and they're
really long but wow it was an interview
with David gogins who I didn't even know
who he was prior to this interview I had
actually seen his book on bestseller
list but hadn't made the connection to
who he was and I still don't know a lot
about him but what he shared in this
interview about who he is and where he
came from to who he is now completely
blew my mind and I think it's required
listening for anyone who has an ADHD
diagnosis not because I think you need
to be David Goggins because I don't
think that many people can be him or
would even want to be him because
they're not coming from the same life
experience but the point I would like to
underscore here is that he was in that
victim mindset for too long he was stuck
in the I can't I won't and you know I'm
just going to stay who I am right now
which was somebody who was 300 lbs
overweight and extreme learning
disabilities couldn't read or write if
you want a good example of somebody who
has transitioned from that phase of I
can't I won't it will never work for me
to I will do whatever it takes you got
to go listen to this interview because
there's no way that you can listen to
the story and not see that if it can
work for him it can work for you too
real so I'm not a real smart guy and
what I mean by that is I was born with
ADD ADHD all like my brain cannot retain
information I'm not some genetic freak
when it comes to running when it comes
to lifting I'm I am absolutely the
bottom of the barrel I was the lowest
form on Earth no Talent no ability to
learn and I literally know what it is to
be rock bottom and to build that up so I
think it's important to acknowledge
where he is in his own life he
acknowledges that his brain is different
and that he can't retain information but
it doesn't stop him instead he
acknowledges that he has to work harder
and he can compare his abilities to
someone else and say that person can do
it so much better than me but it doesn't
stop him from doing exactly what it is
he wants to do because he wants to do it
again I don't think this is for everyone
but the takeaway has everything to do
with this this phase of accepting who
you are Andrew huberman asks him to talk
about his own selft talk and how he
practically gets himself to do
everything that he does now he said that
the most important thing that he did was
learn to understand his brain he
accepted that this is who I am these are
my limitations and I don't want to be
who I am anymore which was overweight
and undereducated with no hope of a
future and doing a lot of things that he
wasn't proud of but he was able to move
himself through those stages and he was
able to accept who he was what his
limitations were
and take action anyway and move forward
even though it was hard and it sucked
and it continues to be hard and suck for
him and he's got a beautiful
relationship with embracing the suck
which I think is pretty inspiring again
I think there's few people that would
could be as intense about these things
as he is but the true beauty of what he
shared is not even the fact that he
accepted who he was the true beauty was
that he got quiet he went Inward and he
listened to who he was and he listened
to what he wanted to be he got clear on
that he set a clear goal and had a level
of focus I don't think I've ever seen
even an neurotypical person and he moved
towards that goal with conviction With A
No Matter What attitude so the process
of going inward cutting oneself off when
you're in there you say it's just you
and then at some point it converts to
action what is the process of picking
the action so every single day I'm
literally going with my mind and I'm
creating this this masterpiece the
Masterpiece is always myself but to do
that you cannot have any distractions
because if you're talking to an artist
and he's trying to think about the next
painting he he can't it's it's
impossible to listen to you and listen
to what your mind and body are telling
you we must do your mind will tell you
what is next but you're looking for let
me Google this and let me Google that
you're not going to find it there he's
talking about intuition and listening to
what lights you up ignoring what's out
there and tuning in to what's in here
heart-based goals thinking about what
you're interested in what you're curious
about what you stand for and what you'll
fight for What's the Hill that you want
to die on these are the things that we
need to go internally to find out
there's nobody else out there in the
world who can tell you what's most
important to you so building that sense
of internal dialogue and intuition is so
important for you to realize who you
truly are so what I'm trying to pull out
here is not necessarily that he chose to
live life on hard mode every day that
was his personal choice I think the
magic of what he shared was that even
though he had an incredibly distractable
brain he was able to figure out what he
wanted in life narrow in on that goal
and no matter what move towards it so I
know that sounds antithetical to the
type of brain that we have but I wanted
to share his story and just a few clips
of the interview because I think it's so
important that we see these
examples of Mastery and to know that no
matter what you're working with right
now if you're willing to accept that
this is where you are if you're willing
to put aside all of the struggles that
you've dealt with to date because today
is a new day and whatever you choose to
focus on going forward is entirely up to
you when you're willing to cross that
bridge and make that connection to the
acceptance of Who You Are are and really
just listen to what you want in your
heart and go after that you really can
move mountains and I've talked a lot
about this in uh goal setting videos
where I talk about having one focus at a
time and that's because it acts as a
forcing function for you to choose the
most important thing for you in a season
of Life the fact that he was able to
choose what he wanted to be and move
towards that with precision and
persistence not necessarily consistency
he doesn't really talk about morning
routines and nighttime routines he just
talks about maniacal Focus which is
something we are so capable of when it's
something that we want so again this
comes back to everything that I've been
saying if you can really dial into what
it is you want and go after that with
the level of focus that you can go after
a video game go after it and I know
you're sitting there going but I don't
know what it is and to that I will say
the same thing I've been saying all
along experiment go deep start spending
time by yourself journaling try
meditation go for walks without your
phone think about what it is that lights
you up that you're interested in just
follow a curiosity and take that
Curiosity to The Next Step not with the
identity of I have ad ADHD so this
probably isn't going to work but with
the identity of I have ADHD I understand
that that I have limitations but I also
know that my brain has the ability to
lob onto things and hold on to it like a
like a dog with a bone when I find
something of Interest so start exploring
your Curiosities from that lens as
opposed to I can't I can't I can't
because any time you pull that lens up
the lens of I can't you will immediately
shut down any level of curiosity and say
it's not for me it'll never work because
I can't follow through so that's true of
work whether you want to be a full-time
employee or you want to be an
entrepreneur or just Hobbies interests
creative Pursuits anything in life and
maybe your creative pursuit or your
dream isn't a money maker that's fine
find a job that supports your ambition
so that you can work on your creative
Pursuits without worry of whether or not
it's going to pay the rent that's when
true creativity has the room to explore
and do what it it was meant to do so
what is so compelling to you that you're
willing to go out and find a job that
you don't hate but you don't necessarily
love because it supports the creativity
and the passion for the thing that you
want to do what is that thing so I feel
like this interview brings so much
inspiration again I'm not as an intense
of of a person as he is maybe you are or
maybe you relate to his experience more
than I can all I know is if David
Goggins can do this you can too so
that's what I have for you today I hope
it was helpful
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