Partners of Trans! Will Your Relationship Survive Gender Transition.
Summary
TLDRIn diesem Video spricht Dr. Z, eine klinische Psychologin mit Spezialisierung auf Transgender-Pflege, über Beziehungen während einer Transition. Sie erklärt zwei Hauptfaktoren, die darüber entscheiden, ob Paare eine Transition durchstehen. Der erste Faktor ist die emotionale Anziehung, die auf der Länge und Qualität der Beziehung basiert. Der zweite Faktor ist die Flexibilität des Partners, sein Verständnis von Sexualität anzupassen. Paare, die lange und positiv verbunden sind, haben bessere Chancen, die Herausforderungen einer Transition zu meistern. Dr. Z ermutigt dazu, eigene Beziehungen zu reflektieren und offen über Ängste zu sprechen.
Takeaways
- 👨⚕️ Dr. Z ist ein klinischer Psychologe, der sich auf Transgender-Betreuung spezialisiert hat.
- 💑 Die Diskussion konzentriert sich auf Beziehungen und die Herausforderungen von Paaren, die eine Transition durchleben müssen.
- 🔄 Dr. Z hebt zwei Hauptfaktoren hervor, die er in seiner Karriere beobachtet hat und die die Wahrscheinlichkeit beeinflussen, dass ein Paar eine Transition erfolgreich durchsteht.
- 👥 Er unterscheidet zwischen transgener und nicht-binärer Identität, da letztere in Beziehungen mehr Flexibilität bieten könnten.
- 💔 Die physische Veränderung durch medizinische oder chirurgische Maßnahmen beeinflusst die Beziehung und kann zu Konflikten führen.
- 💞 Der erste Faktor ist die emotionale Bindung innerhalb der Beziehung, die durch positive gemeinsame Erfahrungen und effektive Konfliktlösung gestärkt wird.
- 🏦 Die 'emotionale Bank' eines Paares, also die Sammlung positiver und negativer Erfahrungen, ist entscheidend für die Stabilität der Beziehung.
- 🔄 Der zweite Faktor ist die Flexibilität des Partners, der nicht die Transition durchlebt, um sein Verständnis von Sexualität und Geschlecht zu ändern.
- 🌊 Die Sexualität kann für viele Menschen, insbesondere Frauen, sehr flüssig sein und kann sich im Laufe der Zeit verändern.
- 🤔 Dr. Z empfiehlt es, die eigene Beziehung zu bewerten und zu überlegen, ob es sich lohnt, die Transition zu teilen, insbesondere wenn die Beziehung negativ ist.
- 🗣️ Ermutigung an Menschen, die in Beziehungen sind und Angst haben, ihre Partnerschaft zu offenbaren, ihre Bedenken zu teilen und über das Ergebnis ihrer Offenlegung nachzudenken.
Q & A
Was ist der Hauptthema des Videos?
-Das Hauptthema des Videos ist die Überlebensrate von Paarbeziehungen während der Geschlechtsübergangsphase.
Welche beiden Hauptfaktoren beeinflussen nach Ansicht von Dr. Z die Überlebensrate von Paarbeziehungen während des Übergangs?
-Die beiden Hauptfaktoren sind die emotionale Bindung und die Flexibilität des Partners bezüglich der sexuellen Orientierung.
Was bedeutet 'emotionale Bindung' im Kontext des Videos?
-Die 'emotionale Bindung' bezieht sich auf die Länge und Qualität der gemeinsamen Erfahrungen eines Paares, was als 'emotionales Bankkonto' bezeichnet wird.
Warum ist die emotionale Bindung wichtig für die Überlebensrate von Paarbeziehungen während des Übergangs?
-Eine starke emotionale Bindung kann dazu beitragen, dass ein Paar durch Herausforderungen wie den Geschlechtswechsel stärker zusammenhält und weniger wahrscheinlich ist, sich zu trennen.
Was bedeutet es, wenn das 'emotionale Bankkonto' positiv ist?
-Ein positives 'emotionales Bankkonto' bedeutet, dass das Paar viele positive Erfahrungen und Erinnerungen geteilt hat und effektiv kommuniziert und Konflikte gelöst hat.
Wie wirkt sich eine lange Beziehungsdauer auf das Überleben der Beziehung während des Übergangs aus?
-Eine lange Beziehungsdauer kann dazu führen, dass das Paar mehr Investitionen in die Beziehung hat und weniger bereit ist, diese aufzugeben, was die Wahrscheinlichkeit erhöht, dass die Beziehung während des Übergangs bestehen bleibt.
Was ist die Rolle der Flexibilität des Partners in Bezug auf die sexuelle Orientierung?
-Die Flexibilität des Partners ist entscheidend, da sie die Bereitschaft des Partners widerspiegelt, seine Vorstellungen über Geschlecht und Sexualität anzupassen, um die Beziehung fortzusetzen.
Welche Rolle spielt die sexuelle Fluidität bei der Flexibilität des Partners?
-Sexual Fluidität kann dazu beitragen, dass der Partner seine sexuellen Präferenzen und Attraktionen anpassen kann, was für die Aufrechterhaltung der Beziehung während des Übergangs wichtig ist.
Welche Art von Beziehungen scheitern häufiger nach dem Coming-out des transgeschlechtlichen Partners?
-Beziehungen, die entweder nicht lange genug waren, um eine starke emotionale Bindung aufzubauen, oder solche, die eine negative emotionale Bank hatten, scheitern häufiger.
Was empfiehlt Dr. Z für Personen, die befürchten, ihre Partner könnten ihre Beziehung beenden, wenn sie Coming-out machen?
-Dr. Z empfiehlt, sich selbst die Beziehung zu bewerten und zu überlegen, ob es sich lohnt, in einer Beziehung zu bleiben, die nicht positive ist, und ob man eine Chance verdient hat, eine positivere Beziehung zu finden.
Outlines
😀 Beziehungen und Transgender-Übergänge
Dr. Z, eine klinische Psychologin, die sich auf Transgender-Pflege spezialisiert hat, diskutiert in diesem Video die Faktoren, die beeinflussen, ob ein Paar während der Transgender-Übergangsphase erfolgreich durchkommt. Sie betont zwei Hauptmerkmale: die emotionale Bindung und die Flexibilität des Partners. Emotionale Bindung bezieht sich auf die Dauer und Qualität der gemeinsamen Erfahrungen eines Paares, wobei ein positives emotionales Bankkonto durch positive Interaktionen und effektive Konfliktlösung entsteht. Dies hilft, die Beziehung zu stärken, selbst wenn Schwierigkeiten wie der Transgender-Übergang auftreten.
🤔 Emotionale Bindung und Flexibilität als Schlüsselfaktoren
Dr. Z erläutert, dass die emotionale Bindung eines Paares, gemessen an der Zeit und der Qualität der gemeinsamen Zeit, entscheidend ist, um eine erfolgreiche Übergangsphase zu erreichen. Sie betont, dass ein positives emotionales Bankkonto, das durch positive Erfahrungen und effektive Konfliktlösung aufgebaut wurde, das Paar stärker macht. Gleichzeitig wird die Flexibilität des Partners hervorgehoben, insbesondere in Bezug auf die sexuelle Identität und die sexuelle Anziehungskraft. Wenn der Partner flexibel ist und sein Paradigma über Sexualität und Geschlecht anpassen kann, ist die Beziehung wahrscheinlicher erfolgreich.
👋 Offene Diskussion und persönliche Geschichten
Dr. Z lädt ihre Zuschauer ein, ihre eigenen Beziehungen zu bewerten und zu teilen, ob sie Ängste haben, sich ihrem Partner zu öffnen, und wie es ihnen geht, wenn sie sich bereits offenbart haben. Sie fordert dazu auf, Kommentare zu hinterlassen, um gemeinsam über die Erfahrungen zu sprechen und Unterstützung zu bieten. Das Video endet mit einer Einladung zur Interaktion und zum Austausch von Erlebnissen und Gedanken zu diesem sensiblen Thema.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Transgender
💡Beziehung
💡Emotional Attraction
💡Übergangsphase
💡Emotional Bank
💡Flexibilität
💡Sexuelle Fluidität
💡Binär
💡Geschlechtsumwandlung
💡Kommunikation
Highlights
Dr. Z is a clinical psychologist specializing in transgender care.
Discusses two main factors that affect couples during transition.
Focuses on transgender binary individuals transitioning from one gender to another.
Emotional attraction is the first factor for couples making it through transition.
Emotional attraction involves the length of the relationship and shared experiences.
A positive 'emotional bank' indicates a history of resolving conflicts and growing closer.
Long-term relationships with positive experiences are more likely to withstand transition.
Relationships with a history of negativity may struggle when faced with transition.
The second factor is the flexibility of the non-transitioning partner's views on sexuality.
Flexibility involves the ability to shift paradigms about what constitutes attraction.
Sexuality is fluid, especially for women, and can change over time.
Education and open communication can help partners become more flexible.
Couples who succeed in transition have a combination of time and quality in their relationship.
Couples who struggle often have a lack of investment or a negative emotional bank.
Dr. Z encourages individuals to evaluate their relationships before coming out.
Positive relationships are more likely to support individuals through transition.
Dr. Z invites comments from those in relationships considering coming out or transitioning.
Transcripts
[Music]
hi everyone I'm dr. Z I'm a clinical
psychologist specializing in transgender
care welcome to my channel today I want
to talk to you about relationships and
especially I want to share with you two
main factors that I have observed over
the course of my career its attempt to
pre consistently showcase whether a
couple whether it's a married couple or
a couple that has been together in
relationship we'll make it through
transition and this is something that I
have observed over the course of my
career and thus to manufacture stun to
pop up again and again and again in
couples the time to make it through
transition just to clarify today I'm
talking about individuals who decide to
transition from one binary into another
so we're talking about trans gender
binary individuals whether its
individual suicide to transition from
male to female or from female to male
and I'm not really talking about people
who fall somewhere in and below the
spectrum so for example and non-binary
identified individuals because middle of
a spectrum enables a little bit more
flexibility in relationship only because
there's not that many medical transition
aspects that are involved where soon we
go from one binary into another most of
the times people do engage some kind of
medical or surgical aspect of transition
and as a result they physically change
clearly drastically and that will affect
relationship as well so we're talking
about trans gender binary identified
couples so what are the two factors that
I have consistent labs yours that tend
to be present in couples whether again
you're married or not it's attempt to
make it through transition well the
number one main character is what I call
emotional attraction in relationship so
what do I mean by emotional attraction
well emotional attraction falls into two
categories first category is how long
has a couple been together whether again
married or not how many years of shared
experience to the half and that's really
kind of an emotional attraction of their
emotional bank if you will so who were
to look at our relationships and the
interior relationships as if for every
re-editing emotional traction emotional
experiences memories into our bank of
our relationship how full is your bank
is your bank positive or C Bank in that
and I'll explain what in that means but
if your bank is positive that means that
you have had a lot of great shared
experiences you have had a really great
emotive lis cohesive marriage or
relationship or partnership and if there
are conflicts which of course let's be
honest there's always conflicts in
relationships you were able to
effectively communicate and resolve
conflicts and you were able to grow
closer as a unit as a result of it so
that's number one factor so that means
you emotional bank is very rich right
and sometimes the more years you have
together of that emotional type of
positive friction or traction if you
will the better off you're gonna be even
a partner comes up because you have all
of this invested interest and you also
still very morally connected to your
partner and you don't want to lose that
or your partner doesn't want to lose
that on the other hand if you have been
together for 15-20 years right and
that's a long time that's a lot of
memories and a lot of experience but
your marriage has suffered over the
course of your or you relationship has
suffered over the course of the time and
it could have suffered for number of
reasons it could have suffered because
you were experiencing a lot of dysphoria
you were hiding it from your partner so
as a result you were maybe avoidant or
dissociating or maybe this drawing a lot
or doing a lot of other kind of
defensive things because she weren't
feeling comfortable with your body which
is very common and as a result partner's
become distancing themselves so or for
example if your couples are tend to
fight a lot and doesn't do really good
job at effectively communicating and
repairing those things in other words
even if you had the fifteen or twenty
years of emotive traction relationship
but if that traction is that a positive
traction if it's built on negativity and
resentment and contempt then that's
be adept account right because that's
taken away from the path civilization
negative depth as a couple that you have
incurred and that's really not going to
help you when you're going to decide to
come out and transition we're just on
the other hand I've seen couples be very
successful when they been together for a
long period of time or even for a short
birth time but the quality of the time
they've been together is a very good
positive build on capitalized quality
time
so as couples tend to relate to one a
chance and really understand it she has
a read about and when the partner comes
out and discloses yes the other partner
still has a difficult time yes it's
still devastating for many guess some a
lot of times you do question whether it
is for them or not but oftentimes or not
they decide to stay together because of
so much time invested in this
relationship and it's such a positive
investment it makes it hard for us to
walk away from it
so again number one factor is how long
you been together and what is the
quality of the time being together what
is your emotional attraction is your
emotional bank as a couple positive or
is it not negative so if it's not
negative and you come out to your
partner and your partner already has all
of this negative associations to you
well guess what you just gave them
another you just give them probably a
final reason for them to say I'm out I'm
done because I already have all this
negative net that they accumulated that
makes it that much more appealing to
just walk away from where she is a
difference here where is a couple that
has all this past if not worse and you
come out a partner's recycled to say I'm
out I'm just gonna leave it all behind a
purchase more likely to say well I care
about you you mean a lot to me we have
all this time built up together let's
see how we can move forward so that's
number one and that's a very very big
number one second factor that also facts
is how flexible is the partner of the
other party not the party that's coming
out but the other partner in shifting
their paradigm internal paradigms about
sexuality and what sexuality really
means because a lot of times
reason why a lot of times couples break
apart is because a partner says well I'm
not attracted to men or I'm not
attracted to women and that becomes a
deal breaker but if they're more
flexible and if they especially
hopefully work for somebody visit
charity source excerpts they can help
them understand that sexuality for
maturity of people ends up being very
fluid especially for women it's very
common for women and there's a whole
research study that listed I am and does
publish book that it I think it's called
sexual fluidity or something like that
where she talks about it how specially
for women sexuality over time as women
get older tends to get very fluid
meaning it's very common to be attracted
to one partner for example a male
partner early on and later in your life
to find yourself being very drawn
attracted to women so if a partner is
able to have a flexible paradigm and
able to work around shifting that
paradigm or even able to give it some
time to work on intimacy with you to
work on connecting with you through your
body in your body and you know sexuality
that can really help because as paradigm
shifts our understanding what were
attracted to also shifts because it's
not for a lot of us it's not something
that kind of static it's something that
constantly fluid and changing so that's
another second biggest factor one again
is how long you been together and what's
the quality of that relationship has
been and - whether you've partners
flexible enough in shifting their
paradigm and a lot of times that
flexibility is primarily about educating
and having somebody talk to your partner
about fluidity about sexuality and
same-sex living or here sexual loving
and whatnot and just really educating
and broadening their mind and burning
their skull but those are the two main
factors number one being the absolutely
primary one in couples all of my couples
who make it through the transition have
either you know a long time together or
they have a combination of time as well
as quality time
fortunately couples who tend to fall
apart fall into two categories for me
and usually there are couples that
haven't been together long enough so it
there's not a much investment that makes
it easy for partner to say you know this
is just too much for me or two they have
been together for some time but it's
not-
worse in their emotional bank and you
just gave them another reason why they
can just drop it all and walk away so
there you go there's two main reasons
people ask me that all the time I know a
lot of people are afraid to come out to
their partners because they're afraid to
lose it I always encourage people to ask
themselves evaluate your own
relationship what is it that you
potentially might lose and if it is
something that not positive chances are
your partner will be therapy if it is
something that's not negative so ask
yourself whether you even want to still
stay there don't you deserve also a
chance to find somebody that you can
create something that positive is so
there can be very warm and encompassing
experience if you are in relationship
and afraid to come out comment below let
me know what your reasons are for being
fearful of coming out and if you did
come out to your partner and you are
transitioning how's it working out for
you if I use this
you found parallels in your relationship
I'd love to hear from you so please do
comment below drop a comment I'd read
them all and I'll comment as well I'll
see you guys all next time bye
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