The Key to Effective Leadership

Summary

The speaker emphasizes the importance of patience and consistency in leadership, drawing parallels to personal relationships and faith. They stress that people come to belief and trust at their own pace, and leaders must meet them where they are. Small, consistent actions, like putting away phones during conversations, matter more than occasional grand gestures. The goal is to create a culture where everyone feels valued and motivated to contribute to the organization's growth.

Takeaways

• 😇 Patience with Belief: The story of Bob Chapman highlights the importance of patience and understanding when it comes to faith and belief, suggesting that people come to realizations in their own time.
• 🤔 Respecting Individual Journeys: The script emphasizes the need to respect each person's unique journey and experiences, acknowledging that we cannot know their full story and should not rush their process of belief or change.
• 🔄 Adaptability in Leadership: It's important to meet people where they are in their personal and professional development, allowing for different paces of adaptation to new environments or cultures.
• 🔑 Consistency Over Intensity: Consistency in small actions is more impactful over time than occasional intense efforts. Leadership is about the daily, mundane actions that accumulate to significant effects.
• 👀 The Power of Presence: By putting away phones and devices during interactions, one can demonstrate that they value the person they are with, fostering a sense of importance and respect.
• 💬 Active Listening: Genuinely caring about others' well-being by actively listening and responding to their concerns is a fundamental leadership skill.
• 🛠️ Building Trust Through Small Acts: Repeated small acts of kindness and consideration, like bringing a drink for a spouse or pausing a game to talk, build trust and affection over time.
• 🌱 Cultivating a Culture: Creating a culture where people feel seen, heard, and valued requires consistent leadership behaviors that make individuals feel important.
• 🛑 The Impact of Distractions: Distractions such as phones can undermine the sense of importance during conversations, suggesting that leaders should avoid such behaviors to maintain trust and respect.
• 🤝 Personal Connection: Simple acts of connection, like making eye contact and facing towards someone, can significantly enhance the power of communication.
• 🏆 Long-Term Commitment: Leadership is a long-term commitment to performing small but meaningful actions consistently, which ultimately leads to a strong and dedicated team.

Q & A

What crisis was Bob Chapman facing when he approached his priest?

Bob Chapman was facing a crisis of faith, as he was doubting his belief in God.

What advice did the priest give Bob regarding his crisis of faith?

The priest advised that people come to faith at different times and that it cannot be forced, emphasizing that God still believes in individuals even if they are struggling with their faith.

Why is it important not to expect immediate belief or conversion from someone?

It's important because everyone has their own story and experiences that may have led to skepticism or caution, and these personal histories should be respected.

What is the significance of being consistent in leadership?

Consistency in leadership is crucial because it builds trust and credibility over time. It's the accumulation of small, consistent actions that make a significant impact.

How does the speaker relate the concept of 'intensity' to leadership?

The speaker uses 'intensity' to describe short-term, high-impact actions like intense education or events, which are easily measured but may not sustain long-term change.

What is the role of 'little things' in building a culture of leadership?

The 'little things' like saying good morning or pausing a game to talk are small actions that, when done consistently, can significantly contribute to building a positive and supportive culture.

Why is it beneficial to put away your phone during meetings or conversations?

Putting away your phone signals to others that they have your full attention, making them feel valued and important, which is essential for building strong relationships.

What does the speaker suggest as an easy yet powerful leadership practice?

One easy practice is to genuinely care about others' well-being by asking how they are doing and actually listening to their responses, showing genuine concern.

How does the speaker describe the impact of consistent small actions in a relationship?

The speaker illustrates that consistent small acts of kindness and attention, like getting a drink for a partner or pausing a game to talk, can lead to deep emotional connections, such as love.

What is the analogy used by the speaker to explain the importance of daily habits in leadership?

The speaker uses the analogy of brushing teeth and going to the dentist to emphasize the need for both daily habits and occasional intense actions for overall effectiveness in leadership.

What does the speaker mean by 'meeting people where they are' in the context of leadership?

It means understanding and accepting individuals at their current stage of belief or engagement and allowing them to progress at their own pace, rather than expecting immediate full commitment.

Outlines

00:00

🙏 Faith and Personal Belief

The script begins with a story about Bob Chapman's crisis of faith, where he confides in his priest about his doubts in God. The priest's response highlights the importance of patience and understanding in belief, suggesting that people come to faith at their own pace and that their personal stories and experiences must be considered. The narrative emphasizes the need for consistency and the impact of small, consistent actions over time, drawing a parallel between faith and leadership.

Keywords

💡Crisis of faith

A 'crisis of faith' refers to a period of doubt and questioning of one's religious beliefs. In the video, Bob Chapman's crisis of faith is used as a metaphor to discuss the importance of patience and understanding when dealing with people at different stages of their personal or professional journeys. The priest's response, 'Good thing God still believes in you,' illustrates the theme of unconditional support and belief in others, regardless of their current state of mind.

💡Conversion

In religious terms, 'conversion' is the process of adopting a new faith or belief system. The video script uses the concept of conversion to highlight that personal transformation cannot be forced and occurs at different paces for different individuals. It underscores the importance of allowing people to come to realizations in their own time, which is a key aspect of leadership and building trust.

💡Leadership

Leadership is the act of guiding, influencing, and inspiring others towards achieving goals. The video emphasizes the importance of consistent, small actions in leadership, rather than sporadic large gestures. Examples from the script include the daily practice of acknowledging people, such as saying 'good morning,' which, when done consistently, can significantly impact the culture and relationships within an organization.

💡Consistency

Consistency refers to the quality of being reliable and unchanging over time. The video stresses that it is the consistent, everyday actions that build trust and credibility in leadership. It contrasts with 'intensity,' which might be impressive but is less sustainable. Consistency is portrayed as the key to building a strong foundation for relationships and a positive work culture.

💡Intensity

Intensity, in the context of the video, refers to actions that are strong, concentrated, and short-lived. It is contrasted with consistency, where the speaker argues that while intense actions can be impactful, it is the consistent, less noticeable actions that truly build a culture of trust and respect.

💡Cultural Fit

Cultural fit describes how well an individual's values, beliefs, and behaviors align with those of an organization. The video discusses the importance of understanding that people come from various backgrounds and experiences that may affect their fit within a new culture, emphasizing the need for patience and understanding in leadership.

💡Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. The script mentions the importance of being empathetic to the experiences and stories of others, which is crucial in leadership for creating an environment where people feel seen, heard, and valued.

💡Trust

Trust is the reliance on the integrity, strength, or ability of a person or thing. The video script discusses building trust through consistent, small actions in leadership, which can lead to a stronger, more committed team willing to give their 'Blood, Sweat, and Tears' for the organization.

💡Personal Story

A personal story refers to an individual's unique experiences and background. The video emphasizes the importance of recognizing that each person has a personal story that may influence their beliefs and actions. Understanding these stories is crucial for effective leadership and building rapport.

💡Professional Development

Professional development refers to the process of acquiring new skills and knowledge to improve one's professional capacity. The video script implies that leaders should facilitate an environment where individuals can grow professionally, which includes being patient and supportive of their unique pace of development.

💡Daily Routine

A daily routine consists of regular activities performed daily. The video uses the analogy of brushing teeth to emphasize the importance of daily routines in leadership, such as acknowledging others consistently, which, over time, can significantly impact the culture and success of an organization.

Highlights

Bob Chapman's crisis of faith and his conversation with the priest about belief and acceptance.

The priest's perspective on the importance of timing in personal growth and belief conversion.

Acknowledging the unknown stories and experiences of individuals that influence their beliefs and behaviors.

The concept of not forcing belief or conversion, allowing people to come at their own pace.

The challenge of expecting new employees to be fully engaged within the first few weeks of employment.

The importance of meeting people where they are in their personal and professional journeys.

The balance between intensity and consistency in leadership and personal interactions.

The impact of small, consistent actions over time versus sporadic intense efforts.

The analogy of falling in love through small, everyday actions rather than grand gestures.

The necessity of daily 'teeth brushing' in leadership, emphasizing routine and mundane tasks.

The demonstration of making someone feel important by not using a phone during a conversation.

The psychological effect of phones on interpersonal interactions and the importance of putting them away.

The power of eye contact and facing someone directly during a conversation.

The significance of genuinely caring about others' well-being and being present in conversations.

The leadership test of truly asking and caring about how someone is doing.

Building a culture where people feel seen, heard, and valued through consistent leadership practices.

The long-term impact of building trust and loyalty through small, consistent actions in leadership.

Transcripts

my friend Bob Chapman when he was

younger he he he he was having a crisis

of

faith and so he went to his

priest and he says

um I I uh I don't think I believe in I

don't think I believe in God and His

priest said good thing God still

believes in

you people come along at different times

like you can't force someone to have a

conversion or you can't force somebody

to believe if we we don't know what

their story is we don't know that maybe

they've worked for horrible people in

the past maybe they've come from

companies that had terrible cultures

maybe they've been twice Once Bitten

Twice Shy like maybe they're coming with

their guard up like I don't know what

their experiences I don't know what

their story is so just because we are

well-intentioned and we're all like

chipper chipper and studying leadership

that we expect that they come in in the

first three weeks of their employment

how come you're not all in everybody

else here is all in like you got to meet

people where they are some people jump

right in head first and they're really

excited when they come into a new

culture um and some people are slower

just let them come at their own pace but

you just keep doing the right thing and

most importantly you got to be

consistent right you can't just do it

once or twice you got to do it all the

time and it's the little things that add

up more than the big things so I always

think the balance of intensity versus

consistency so intensity is something

like this you've come in for three days

it's an intense time it's intense

education you're on this this is and

anything intense is easily measured um

and and and captured in time right but

consistency is the little stuff that is

innocuous and doesn't seem to do

anything like saying good morning you

know in the hallway well that does

nothing if you do it once but what if

you do it every day you know like how

long you know when did your wife fall in

love with you like I don't know like it

wasn't because you remembered her

birthday or border her flowers and

Valentine's Day those are intensity it's

the little things you did like when you

went to get a drink from the fridge and

you just brought one back for her or the

game was on and said honey can I talk to

you and you hit pause on the game and

you said sure what's on your mind right

like little things like that that in in

a vacuum do nothing but when they add up

people fall in love and it's the same in

leadership it's the little things it's

the brushing your teeth not going to the

dentist you have to go to the dentist

twice a year that's intensity but if

that's all you do your teeth full out so

you can't just rely on the big rahas the

big leadership things the big coaching

things very important you got to brush

your teeth for 2 minutes in the morning

and 2 minutes in the evening every every

single day and it only works if you keep

doing it and that's what leadership is

it's the boring mundane daily little

things and some of it is so easy some of

it is so easy right let let me show you

one of the easiest things you can do can

I borrow someone's phone can is phone I

can borrow yeah thanks I'm G to show you

something I'll show you a little thing

right so here I am I'm sitting in my

office and you walk into my office uh

and while I'm sitting here just now now

right do you feel I'm not I'm not making

a phone call it's not buzzing it's not

beeping I'm just holding it do you feel

like you're the most important thing to

me right

now no right there's a deep-seated

psychological reaction to the device I'm

not doing anything so we show up to a

meeting and we put the phone on the

table and by the way putting the phone

face down is not more

polite right how do you think it makes

people feel makes you makes them feel

that they're not the most important

thing right now if somebody walks into

your office and it's just on the desk

how do you think it makes people feel

employees or

patients uh or worse when somebody looks

away and you're on it for 30 seconds how

do you think it makes people

feel right put the phone away when

there's another person that you want

them to feel like they matter it's so

easy put it in a back pocket put it on a

shelf put it on a

drawer eye contact thank you very much

can you catch

well done so eye contact right uh facing

your body towards somebody hey can I

talk to you sure what's on your mind

right little little things like I said

these things in a vacuum do nothing but

if you do them over and over and over

again I can tell you how powerful they

are a marine once told me he says his

test for being a leader is if you ask

somebody how they're doing you actually

care about the answer how are you uh

it's been a hard day okay cool well I'll

check you after lunch

right no how are you not doing so good

what's what's going on right these are

skills they're very easy to learn

they're very easy to practice but you

got to do them and over the course of

time sometimes quicker for some people

sometimes slower for others you will

build an environment you will build a

culture where people feel seen feel

heard feel like their matter and you

will watch them give you their Blood

Sweat and Tears to help your business

grow that's how it works