Autistic masking: a dangerous survival mechanism | Leah Reinardy | TEDxHopeCollege

Summary

The speaker, an autistic individual, shares their experience with 'masking'—the act of mimicking neurotypical behaviors to fit in. They recount the emotional toll of this constant performance, leading to mental health struggles and a loss of identity. The narrative highlights the importance of authenticity and the journey of unmasking, embracing their true self despite societal pressures and the challenges faced by the autistic community.

Takeaways

• 🤝 The speaker has a protocol for meeting new people, which involves scanning the environment and engaging in small talk, often with humor and personal anecdotes.
• 🧠 The speaker, being autistic, explains that a significant portion of their brain power is dedicated to navigating social interactions and understanding nonverbal cues.
• 🌟 The concept of 'social scripting' is introduced as a learned skill that the speaker developed over 21 years through trial and error.
• 😢 The speaker's childhood experiences with misunderstanding and being labeled as 'wrong' or 'abnormal' led to feelings of inferiority and a drive to 'fit in'.
• 🔍 The speaker's 'special interest' in TV show 'Survivor' and music helped them analyze and mimic social behaviors, contributing to their fluency in neurotypical interactions.
• 🎭 The speaker discusses the concept of 'masking' as a survival mechanism, where they adopt a persona to appear neurotypical and avoid negative perceptions.
• 💔 Masking comes with a high emotional cost, leading to mental health struggles, including therapy, antidepressants, and multiple suicide attempts.
• 🏥 The speaker's experiences in psychiatric hospitals were both traumatic and transformative, providing moments of connection and self-realization.
• 🚫 The fear of unmasking and the potential consequences, such as unemployment or increased risk of assault, highlights the challenges faced by autistic individuals.
• 🌈 The speaker's journey towards unmasking and embracing their authentic self is ongoing and involves learning to navigate the world without the safety of their 'mask'.
• 🤔 The speaker challenges both neurotypical and autistic individuals to consider how they can better understand and support each other, fostering a more inclusive society.

Q & A

What is the 'meeting a new person protocol' the speaker describes at the beginning of the script?

The 'meeting a new person protocol' refers to the speaker's systematic approach to initiating small talk, which includes scanning the environment, making a remark about the weather, telling a joke, and eventually sharing personal information about being autistic.

What does the term 'social scripting' mean in the context of the speaker's experience?

Social scripting is the process the speaker used to learn social interactions by observing, mimicking, and practicing behaviors that are considered 'normal' in society, especially since they are autistic and find social cues challenging.

Why did the speaker feel the need to 'mask' their true self?

The speaker felt the need to 'mask' their true self to fit in with neurotypical individuals and to avoid being seen as inferior or unacceptable due to their autistic traits.

What is the significance of the TV show 'Survivor' in the speaker's life?

The TV show 'Survivor' was the speaker's first special interest, which they used to study social dynamics, such as tribal alliances and mannerisms, to better understand and mimic social behaviors.

What challenges did the speaker face in their school years due to their autism?

The speaker faced challenges such as misunderstanding from others, being labeled as 'wrong' or 'broken', and the pressure to conform to neurotypical behaviors, which led to feelings of inferiority and a cycle of self-destruction.

How did the speaker's experience with psychiatric hospitalization impact their life?

Psychiatric hospitalization was traumatic for the speaker, exacerbating feelings of isolation and the need to mask even more to avoid being perceived as incompetent or unprofessional.

What is the term 'special interest' in the context of autism?

A 'special interest' in the context of autism refers to a specific topic or area that an autistic individual becomes deeply fascinated with and often uses as a means to understand and navigate the world.

Why did the speaker attempt suicide for the first time at the age of 11?

The speaker attempted suicide due to the overwhelming pressure of maintaining their mask, the fear of being perceived as 'wrong', and the emotional toll of constantly performing to fit in.

What was the turning point for the speaker in deciding to stop masking?

The turning point was a near-death experience with a blood clot and pulmonary embolism, which led the speaker to commit to being true to themselves and not masking their identity.

What message does the speaker have for their neurotypical friends and the audience?

The speaker encourages neurotypical individuals to listen and observe more, to empower neurodivergent individuals, and to create spaces for intersectional autistic experiences. They also challenge autistic individuals to open up to the world, despite the fear and vulnerability involved.

What is the main takeaway from the speaker's story about their experience with masking?

The main takeaway is that while masking can be a survival mechanism for autistic individuals, it is exhausting and can lead to a loss of identity. The speaker advocates for authenticity and the importance of being true to oneself, despite societal pressures.