A Simple Habit That Fixed My Social Skills for Good

Summary

In this insightful video, the speaker shares their journey of social anxiety and the realization that quick-fix advice was not the answer to improving social skills. They discovered the importance of practice and developed a 'pre-conversational thought habit' that transformed their ability to communicate effectively. By focusing on being present, listening attentively, and formulating thoughtful responses, the speaker improved their articulation and became a better listener. The key takeaway is that genuine social skill improvement comes from consistent practice and focusing on one aspect of communication at a time.

Takeaways

• 😔 The speaker initially struggled with social skills, feeling anxious and often misunderstood.
• 🔍 They sought advice online but found that trying to apply too much advice at once made things worse.
• 🤔 A realization came from playing chess with their father, understanding that knowledge without practice doesn't translate to skill.
• 🧠 The speaker emphasizes that information alone is not enough; it must be applied through practice to become a skill.
• 📝 They introduced the 'pre-conversational thought habit' as a method to improve social skills.
• 🌱 The habit involves thinking more often in silence to prepare for social interactions effectively.
• 📈 The practice led to improvements in speaking clearly, listening better, and having more to say in conversations.
• 📝 The process involves three steps: remembering to practice, doing it properly by waiting to think until after the other person finishes speaking, and focusing on one aspect of social skills at a time.
• 🧘‍♂️ Diaphragmatic breathing was highlighted as a technique to feel more present and relaxed, aiding in the habit formation.
• 🤝 The speaker's approach to social skills emphasizes authenticity, kindness, and clear communication.
• 🔄 The speaker plans to upload content less frequently but assures continued improvement and sharing of insights.

Q & A

What was the speaker's initial self-assessment of their people skills?

The speaker initially thought their people skills were fine, but they realized they were not effective as no one listened to them and they felt anxious in social situations.

What was the speaker's experience like in high school regarding social interactions?

The speaker felt extremely lonely in high school and struggled to connect with others, including a negative experience with their crush who did not respond positively to their greeting.

What advice did the speaker initially follow to improve their social skills?

The speaker followed advice from the internet, such as smiling more, asking more questions, and being humble, but it made them feel fake and did not significantly improve their skills.

How did the speaker's experience with chess lead to a realization about social skills improvement?

The speaker realized that just watching videos or reading about chess did not make them better at it, and similarly, information alone about social skills would not be enough to improve without practice.

What is the main concept the speaker introduced to make their social skills applicable to every situation?

The speaker introduced the concept of the 'pre-con conversational thought habit' which involves thinking more often in silence to improve social skills.

What are the three steps to the 'pre-con conversational thought habit' as described by the speaker?

The three steps are: 1) Remembering to consistently practice the habit, 2) Thinking properly after the other person has finished speaking, and 3) Focusing on one aspect of social skills improvement at a time during conversations.

Why did the speaker emphasize the importance of not thinking of a response before the other person has finished speaking?

The speaker emphasized this because it allows for better comprehension and avoids making assumptions, leading to more articulate and thoughtful responses.

What impact did the 'pre-con conversational thought habit' have on the speaker's ability to articulate their thoughts?

The habit helped the speaker to articulate their thoughts more clearly and respond more effectively in conversations.

How did the habit change the speaker's listening skills?

The habit made the speaker a better listener who rarely ran out of things to say, as they took the time to really hear the other person and formulate a proper response.

What additional practice did the speaker adopt to help remember and naturally perform the 'pre-con conversational thought habit'?

The speaker adopted diaphragmatic breathing to feel more present and relaxed, which helped them remember to practice the habit and eventually made it come naturally.

What is the speaker's commitment to their audience regarding future content?

The speaker commits to uploading less frequently than before but assures that they will still provide content in the future.